


The Boys need a Break

by HolyCoconut



Series: Sometimes plot but mostly sin [1]
Category: Be More Chill - Iconis/Tracz, Dear Evan Hansen - Pasek & Paul/Levenson
Genre: #Jared Kleinman needs to top people more2K17, And featuring; Connor Murphy being the best boyfriend, Angst, F/F, F/M, Fluff and Smut, Hot Chocolate, Hurt/Comfort, Jared is a little shit, M/M, Smut, Trans Evan, anxiety attack, eating your feelings, trigger warning, uh read TBNB shorts if you want to know more backstory, uh the fluffiest blanket
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-07-31
Updated: 2018-01-17
Packaged: 2018-12-09 11:51:38
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, Rape/Non-Con
Chapters: 22
Words: 83,646
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11668581
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/HolyCoconut/pseuds/HolyCoconut
Summary: Hey I'm gonna post this before the little voices in my head tell me everything I've written is garbage hereI'm back fuckers and I’m here to write an actual fanfic with plot





	1. Connor

'Valentine's Day. When will everyone just give it a rest and get rid of this useless holiday....' 

Is what I would say if my boyfriends weren't at my house with a planned surprise in celebration of our first Valentine's Day together.  
Jared and Evan always scheme, and they have chemistry when they want to embarrass the shit out of me. When it comes to surprises and gifts? I tend to end up a red-faced, incoherent excuse of a human being. So the only thing going through my head all day at the flower shop is, Is this going to be a trick or a treat. Yes I know it's not Halloween, I'm not fucking stupid and I know I just said it's Valentine's day.  
But Halloween is my favorite holiday, and that phrase works with everything. Especially when it comes to Jared and Evan. 

And I have a boner at work. Fucking fantastic.  
With only, three more hours to go!  
The shop is packed, everyone is getting last minute gifts for their SO's. Just like every Valentine's Day.  
However we did get one girl who came in and ordered the 'Fuck you' bouquet, that I put together. What? Who'd you expect to? Only I would do something like that let's be real here. I saw a tumblr post listing all the flowers with bad meanings, like 'I hate you', 'I'm disappointed', and so on. So naturally I put them together and convinced Sofia, my boss, to sell them here.

Other than that, my day's been pretty uneventful. I keep getting a phone call from someone who hangs up before I can pick up though. Probably a middle schooler playing a prank on the gay florist. Hahaha very fucking funny  
The next time my phone rings I snatch it off the desk immediately.  
"What?" I growl and the person on the other side is panting?  
"Um- uh, Connor?" I drop the anger immediately.  
"Jared? What the hell?"  
My boyfriend whimpers and the phone makes a little rustling noise. There's soft talking, and another weird breathy noise.  
"Uh, Jared are you okay?" I hope to god they're not doing what I think they're doing. I only have an hour to go, please guys I'm weak.  
"Ye-Yeah I'm fine, I just missed you." There's more rustling and then Jared makes another small noise. Okay, sure, you just missed me. And he's lisping again, so he's either nervous or... God dammit only forty minutes left.  
"Well I miss you too babe, but I'm gonna be home soon okay? I can't talk right now." I say with a happy tone. I'll play along until he loses it.

Jared hisses and there's a thump on the other end.

Which apparently didn't take that long at all.

"evan I can't do this....." Jared is quietly speaking away from the phone. There's a sweet murmur in response and then a deep breath. The phone is picked up and Jared full on moans into it.  
"Please Connor? P-Please come home, Evan's gonna torture me if you don't." He breaks off with another whine, and the call disconnects.  
Oh my god. Come on can the clock move any faster? It's almost 4:00. Just twenty minutes.  
My phone buzzes in my pocket and I scramble to get it off the counter.

From : Ev <3  
You might want to hurry babe I don't think Jare can take much more. 

 

Fuck.

 

From : Con M  
I'll be home soon

From : Ev <3  
When will you get here?

 

4:00! Yes! I can leave!

 

From : Con M  
4:15 ish?

Jesus it sounds like we're planning a dinner party not sex. I hang my apron up in the closet and wait for my replacement to get here. They don't take long at all, and after making sure Ezra's situated, I leave them and the shop behind.  
I check my phone a couple more times but, there's no response, so I assume they've gone back to.... Whatever they were doing before.  
Don't think about it too much Murphy. You're on a public street. In the middle of the afternoon. On a Tuesday. Pull yourself together. 

And wow I believe in God because thank you for having my work so close to home. I walk into my apartment, and it's dead quiet. There's a couple candles out, probably Evan's doing, and a little folded piece of paper on the floor labeled CONMAN. I put my keys down and shrug off my jacket and shoes before unfolding it.

Dear Connor,

Follow the hearts up the stairs, because Evan's got something planned. I don't really know what it is, but he told me to leave this note. (Because I have the nicest handwriting)

Love, Your wonderfully perfect boyfriend, Jared.

Instead of a trail of flower petals like in cliche movies, there are little post it notes with a heart and arrow pointing towards the bedroom. Which is a nice change, because if I have to see another flower today I might lose my mind. Carefully avoiding the fourth step, because it creaks, I walk up slowly and quietly so they don't hear me coming. I don't think they heard the front door shut from the bedroom so I should be good.

The closer I get to the room the louder their voices get, and soon I'm in front of the door listening in on their conversation.  
"Ev-Evan what if he doesn't like it?" Jared whispers worriedly and Evan gently shushes him.  
"Baby, trust me he will, you look so pretty." Jared makes a little frustrated whine and someone is pacing within the room.  
"B-but wh-what if o-only you think t-that?" There's a creak and another soft sound.  
"Then we wouldn't both be dating you," I hear a kiss sound and another quiet frustrated noise, "Jared you don't have to do this if you don't want to," The pacing stops.  
"N-no I want to, I'm just," Jared pauses and I can hear a few steps echo in the room. "Scared." There are more quiet shushing noises and kisses, and then there's another pause. 

This is as good a time as any.  
I step down on the floor a few times, making sure they can hear it, and Jared and Evan stop moving altogether.  
When I twist the door handle, I hear somebody scramble, and when the door opens, Evan is blocking my view of the room. He tugs me down by my neck and knocks the wind out of me with an amazing kiss. He places my arm around his waist and smiles at me.  
"Happy Valentine's Day babe." I flush and kiss his cheek.  
"Alright, what have I sold my soul for." I ask and try to look at the bed for Jared-  
And there's suddenly a warm body behind me and Evan turns my jaw back towards himself.  
"We just wanted to spoil ourselves a little bit babe, we haven't had sex in so long. I think we all deserved a break," Evan smiles, and kisses me deeply again.  
Jared, who I'm not allowed to look at apparently, is kissing my neck and his hands slide down my hips to my thighs.  
"Jared saw something that looked like fun, and we wanted to try it. That okay?" My knees go weak and I nod at Evan hurriedly.  
"Wh-What um, what is it?" Evan smiles and starts to suck a hickey into my jaw. I bite my lip hard and taste Evan's stupid birthday cake flavored Chapstick.  
"A surprise. But before that, we've got something else to show you." Evan smiles over my shoulder, as a cue, and Jared tenses up. He puts his hands over my eyes and then steps around until he's in front of me.  
"Don't laugh." He whispers and I reach out to blindly cup his cheeks. My thumb catches his lower lip and my other hand misses and gets his shoulder, but Jared giggles and I smile.  
"Never."  
His hands fall away and Jared's blushing a deep red all the way down his chest.  
He murmurs a little weak "Surprise!" and puts his hands behind his back.  
Holy s h i t. 

He's got on one of my dark grey crop tops, a pair of tight looking red boxers, red thigh high socks, and a grey garter belt.  
Evan was not lying when he said I'd love it, fucking hell.  
My face heats up and I clutch at the dresser for support.  
"Do you like it?" Jared seems pleased with my reaction and I nod.  
"Fuck I don't just like it baby," My knees are giving out, "I'm trying not to come in my pants, O-Oh my god, Jare you look fantastic!"  
Evan puts his arms around Jared's neck with a smile.  
"See? I told you." Evan giggles and Jared makes a cute little snorting sound.

"Connor I think I'm gonna have to surprise you more often." He whispers confidently, and his lisp disappears. I grab Jared by his shoulders and kiss him hard. When we separate, Jared's cocky smirk is gone and it's been replaced by a soft smile.  
I look over at Evan and pull him close so I can kiss him too before I reply.  
"Please don't, you guys give me enough painful hard ons as it is." Jared snickers and Evan starts massaging the front of his pants. Jared moans and goes boneless against his chest.  
"Connor," Evan's voice is dark and his pupils have blown out a little bit. "How do you feel about watching a little show?" Oh god my pants are too tight.  
"Fuck," I whimper and try to focus on his question. "W-What kind of show?"  
Jared giggles at me, but it quickly turns into a whiney moan when Evan's hand snakes it's way into his boxers.  
"I think you'll like it babe," Evan murmurs sweetly and his other hand comes up to tangle in my hair, "but it's a surprise. Can you be patient for me?" I nod and Evan tugs hard on his handful.  
"Use your words." His voice switches from a purr to a growl and Jared's eyes are locked on me in surprise. A humiliated blush rises to my cheeks.  
"Yes Sir." My voice feels rough, and Jared has a look of pure shock painted all over his face. Evan pets my neck and kisses Jared sweetly. I keep my distance and Evan smirks into Jared's mouth at my obedience.

I take a minute to scan the room. Our clutter has been swept away, the bedding is neatly folded and the lovingly dubbed 'sex sheets' are on the mattress. Nothing too different there. The only thing that sticks out to me, is a white box on the night stand and a chair facing the bed. Jared still looks confused and shocked and it makes sense because he has never experienced Evan like this before. Jared has seen Evan normally submissive, he's seen him when he's in extreme subspace (aka, I don't remember anything other than it felt good), he's seen Evan not care, the days he can switch with no problem, but he has not yet witnessed Evan when he orders others around, with a snap of his fingers, and all of the sudden people we don't even know are following his orders.  
It's unbelievably hot. 

Evan breaks away from his mouth and focuses his attention on me again. "Connor, love, go sit in the chair."  
Jared follows me with his eyes when I sit down without missing a beat. Evan smiles and nods approvingly.  
"Good boy." My face flushes red again, and I want to look away but if I do he'll pull my hair harder than last time.  
Jared is breathless and arching in Evan's grasp by the time they sit on the bed. Evan's behind Jared, and Jared's sitting in front of me upright with spread legs.  
"Connor?" Evan murmurs. My dick presses against the zipper painfully.  
"Yes Sir?" Evan smiles and hugs Jared closer to his chest. His hands slide under Jared's top teasingly, and Jared moans when Evan massages his chest.  
"I'm gonna give you the rules now." I shift in the chair and clutch the arm rests.  
I choke out an, "Okay," suppressing a moan and Jared shivers.

"You're not allowed to get up. Color?" Evan doesn't need to ask, but his anxiety always shines through during this part.  
I hesitate a little and Evan's eyes flicks over my face.  
"Green." Evan smiles and reaches over to palm the front of Jared's underwear again.  
"Jared what about you?" Said boy snaps out of his pleasure induced haze and looks over his shoulder at the blonde.  
"What does it matter what I think? I'm not the one being forced to stay seated." I almost laugh, and bite my lip. If I laugh, it could end this very quickly. Evan would freak out because 'Connor consent is extremely important' and Jared would freak out because I laughed while he was saying something. And Jared's brain tends to take that as 'You're laughing at me' instead of 'You're laughing at what I said.'

A snap brings me back and I look up to find Evan looking down at me.  
"Stop spacing out Connor, I asked you a question." I flush and Jared chuckles at me.  
"Sorry Sir, what was it?" Evan clicks his tongue and sighs disappointedly.  
"You're not allowed to touch yourself, is that okay?" Evan is sitting on the edge of the bed in front of me and Jared is making crude gestures behind him.  
I whine sadly. "Yes that's okay," Evan opens his mouth but I stop him cautiously. "Green, but I'm not happy about it Sir." I bite my lip and Evan smirks mischievously.  
"Sorry honey I don't make the rules." He twists his fingers in my hair and Jared barks out a surprised laugh.  
"Evan you're literally making the rules right now." He sputters through giggles and Evan nods with a little laugh under his breath..  
"You got me there."  
Jared snorts at that and then they're both laughing.  
"Can you guys stop quoting memes while we're having sex, I'm so hard right now it hurts." I groan and Evan falls seamlessly back into character.  
"Okay love. Just a few more, then we can show you what Jared bought." Oh yeah the sex toy. Well I'm assuming it's a sex toy.  
"Three, is no coming unless one of us lets you." Jared laughs when my face falls and I feel personally attacked right now.  
"Green." I grumble under my breath and Evan grins.  
"The last rule is tied in with something else, Sound good?" I nod and Evan turns around to rummage through the white gift box. I focus back on Jared and he snaps a sock teasingly against his thigh.

"Sir?" I choke out and Jared presses a hand against himself with a cute little moan.  
"Yes Connor?" Evan replies without looking at me.  
"Permission to yell at Jared." Evan turns around and catches said boy touching himself in front of me. Now I can sit back and watch him get humiliated.  
"Jared?" He turns to Evan at the sound of his name and stops.  
"Yeah Ev?" Jared's got a cute little smirk on his face and his hands splay out down his thighs.  
"Moan louder. I want to hear it." What? He gets to jerk off but I don't?!? That's unfair.  
Jared shudders and nods to Evan's demand.

I glare at him and he winks. Jared rubs his dick through his underwear with that perfect smirk, his teasing only faltering when he moans towards the ceiling. My knuckles ache and the chair creaks as I clench my fists tighter. 

I am going to get you back so good, that you won't know what hit you Kleinman.

Evan comes back over to me and sits on my lap, stopping my train of thought. I swear you could smell the smoke as my brain screeched abruptly.  
"Um-uh I- Ev-" He kisses me, to make me stop talking, and then smiles again in a taunting way.  
His hand brushes against my jeans and I bite my lip to hold back the wounded whimper that would've fallen out of my mouth.  
"Con, this is the last thing I need you to listen to," He unzips my pants and I moan in relief at the feeling. He tugs down my boxers and something cold touches me. I flinch and look down to see the metal around me mockingly glint.  
"Wha-"  
Evan squeezes my dick and I get cut off by a pained moan. "You can't take this off, it'll help you follow the other rules, okay?" The cock ring tightens and I nod quickly.  
"Yes- Yes, Green Sir."  
Evan smirks and pulls my boxers back up. At least he's merciful and doesn't zip the denim back over my hard-enough-to-be-painful dick.  
"And if you're good, it vibrates." If that's not incentive enough to listen then I don't know what would be.  
I nod again and he pets my head condescendingly.  
"Good boy." The praise makes me moan and I press my nails into my palms. 

My boyfriends get back into their original position and Evan takes over for Jared. Jared's shoulders start to twitch forward, a tell tale sign that he's being overstimulated. Evan kisses up his jaw hotly and whispers something into his ear.  
"Y-yes please."  
Evan smirks and kisses his neck. Jared tenses and lets out a shockingly loud screech/whine/squawk. Evan pulls back and we both blink at him in confusion. (Not literally, Evan's got one eyebrow quirked up in response whilst I'm just fucking dumbstruck.)

"I-I'm really sensitive there?" How have we not noticed before? Jared's eyes are glazed over, and he's blushing a deep red down his neck. Evan presses a few more kisses there, absolutely transfixed by Jared's moans, and Ev gets this wicked little grin and he bites down. Hard.  
Jared shudders and his shoulders twitch again, and it seems like he has a full body seizure before he slumps down into Evan's arms.

He's panting hard, trying to regain his strength and Evan is soothingly petting his thighs.  
"Sorry that I came too fast." Jared mumbles, he's shaking like a leaf, and then he moves to get up. Evan pulls him back down into his lap and growls.  
"Did you think I was finished with you baby?" Evan purrs darkly into Jared's ear and his hand moves back towards his dick. Jared inhales shakily and tenses up when clever fingers push and prod at him. I remember when Evan did this to me for the first time. My record for orgasms in one sitting is seven.

Then again this is Jared's literal fifth time having sex ever so,

"Yes I did actually..." Jared trails off and Evan chuckles.  
"That's cute." He murmurs before pushing his boxers mid-thigh. Jared flushes and squirms.

Then he shrieks when Evan's hand circles him. Evan kisses behind Jared's ear and whispers something to him.  
Jared flushes darkly at whatever he said and whimpers quietly.  
Evan starts jerking him roughly and Jared moans as his dick fills back up. Ev snaps the garter belt around his waist, and the sound shocks me back into my own body.  
The cock ring is a lot tighter, close to painful, but there's that little edge of more that stops me from using my safe word. I flex my fingers and all of them crack loud enough for Jared's attention to flick back to me. He winces at the sound, Jare hates it when I do that. 

"Connor.~ How's the show so far my love?" Evan sings out happily and I clutch my thighs instead of the chair. It was creaking too much. Did Evan say I could speak? Jared winces because Evan's hand has gotten tighter around him, a sign of 'Speak before I torture the hell out of our boyfriend.'  
"S-sir-" I force out in a moan.

"Don't make me come over there and punish you. Speak up."  
Jared moans frustratedly as Evan's hand slowed down, and is now tightly gliding from top to bottom.  
"You- You guys look so hot."  
"Mmm. I know baby," Evan purrs in response, "You wanna see what Jared got us now?"  
"The cock ring wa- wasn't what he bought?" My eyebrows furrow and Jared giggles slightly at how lost I look.  
"No, I got that for your birthday, buuuutttt~ I figured we'd make better use of it today."  
Only Evan would buy stuff for a birthday four months early.

I shift in my seat and groan at the tight pressure.  
I remember the previous question and nod frantically at Evan, "yes I-I want to see it." God I sound so weak and pathetic.

Jared smiles, but it falters when Evan's hand picks up speed. Evan leans over, kisses his cheek and sweetly murmurs, "Why don't you give Connor something to fantasize about while I go get it ready?"  
He nods, and paws around the bedsheets for something blindly. 

Evan releases his dick and gets off the bed to stretch. Jared's hand comes back with a small bottle of lube. Evan smiles, walks over to our closet, and starts rummaging around for something. Evan mutters something that sounds like 'Should've gotten this out earlier' under his breath.  
He feels my eyes on him and frowns.  
"Connor baby?" He says in that sugary sweet voice without looking.  
"Y-Yeah?" Is he mad at me again?  
"No peeking, watch Jared while you wait." I nod and turn back towards my other boyfriend who smiles mockingly.

Jared trails a slick finger along the underside of his cock and we both moan for different reasons. His face flushes a deeper red and he pulls his boxers completely off and puts them to the side. Jared hesitates, before sitting back on his heels and reaching behind himself. He moans and his shoulders are twitching again.  
"Connor~" He whines, and pushes a finger inside himself. I flush, but I can't look away. Jared really likes attention, especially when it comes to sex. He didn't when we started dating, and I can't help but think him being more confident in bed is so good yet so bad. Even when he doesn't join in, it's still unbearable when he smirks or teases us.

"Oh Con~ Feels so good, more!~" Jared's second finger joins the other, and he whimpers and spreads them apart. He frantically pushes them in and out of himself and moans shakily with each exhale.  
"Ah! Fuck me harder~"  
My palms are bleeding a little and I moan loudly and brokenly. Jared half-smirks and pushes a third inside himself. He swallows loudly, and spreads those as well. I just want to go over there and push myself inside him, instead of his stupid fingers. I'd reach way deeper and he'd be completely at my mercy. All whiny and helpless as I fill him up without warning.

A hot spark of pain travels down my spine, and Evan is pushing me back into my seat. When did I stand up? His hand is fisted in my hair, in an almost-mock ponytail and he clicks his tongue. Jared is still prepping himself behind Evan, but he's watching us with half lidded eyes.  
"I thought you were going to be good for us Connor, You were doing so well." He sounds so disappointed. Humiliated, my cheeks redden and I look down.  
"I'm sorry Sir." He shakes his head.  
"Sorry isn't enough baby, and I was just about to turn the vibrations on for you too," Evan sighs and I whine.

"N-no! No please Sir I'll be good, I promise, just-" He sits down on my lap and twirls a strand of my hair on his finger.  
"Connor, Connor, Connor." He sighs sweetly. "If I give you a reward for being bad, then you'll never listen to me again." Evan pauses and presses a hand against my cock.  
"How many do you think you've earned?"  
Wait. Wait. Wait. WAIT. WAIT.  
W A I T.  
"You're going to- in front of Jared?" Evan eyes flicker unsurely, and he turns around to face our boyfriend.  
"Jared?"  
He looks somewhat sad, pulls the fingers out of himself and stands up. He starts to walk out but Evan grabs his hand.  
"No no no no, honey we weren't telling you to leave, we want you here." Jared sits back down cautiously, and Evan leans over and kisses his cheek soothingly.  
"Yosemite."

I let out the breath I didn't know I'd been holding. At the sound of Evan's safe word for stop, Jared relaxes a little bit into the mattress.  
"Jared, I was going to," Evan trails off, unsure how to phrase it.  
"I was gonna spank Connor? Like- like, to um," Evan licks his lips, "P-punish him?" There's the Evan we all know and love. I mean, I love every Evan but I'm a little biased. Jared chokes on his inhale, and blush spreads down his chest.  
"You were?" Jared's eyes go wide and he looks over at me. "Connor you like that?"

I nod sheepishly, and Jared looks winded.  
"Jesus." His voice is ragged and he wheezes slightly.  
"Are you okay with us doing that?" Evan murmurs and Jared shakes his head. Part of me is disappointed, the burn is nice during and after.  
"I- um, that sounds really intense... Maybe a-another time?" Jared mutters and crosses his legs to hide himself, as if suddenly realizing he was naked.  
I nod and smile at him.

"Yeah, maybe."  
Evan turns sideways, so he can look at both of us and his fingers start to brush through my hair soothingly.  
"Do you want to just stay away from punishment altogether? You're apart of this too Jare, what are you comfortable with?" Evan reaches out with his other hand rubs our boyfriend's shoulder until Jared relaxes enough to think clearly.

"I- well, no the hair pulling was hot, but maybe nothing too extreme? I don't know?" Jared trails off and his voice goes softer towards the end. His face is bright red and his hands are nervously twitching in his lap. But I can tell he's sure of what he's saying, any trace of nervousness in his voice has vanished.  
Evan turns to me and we connect eyes before he nods silently. He knows my limits and wouldn't do anything he knows I don't like. I feel safe with him.  
"Lab." Evan's word for 'We're starting again.' And I know you're probably thinking "what the fuck kinda safe words are those," and I'm sorry to say I don't have a straight answer for you.

"Connor." Evan's voice has gone from soft and sweet to dark and seductive in no time. My dick strains against the ring and I whimper.  
"You broke one of the rules," He starts, getting back into his role.  
"And since you've obviously forgotten, we're going to have to reinforce them," He pauses and smiles wickedly,  
"Differently." Evan's hands squeeze my thighs, then travel lightly along my sides.  
"Instead of breaking you down with pain, I'm going to with pleasure." I shiver and Jared's eyes flicker between him and I. Jared is flushed again, and his dick is back to full attention, his erection flagged after his freak out earlier.

"W-What," I lick my lips. "What did you have in mind, Sir?"  
Evan throws his arms over my shoulders and smiles.  
"What's the most sensitive part on your body?" Evan's hips slowly grind against me with every word and I struggle to not reciprocate the action. He knows the answer to that, he's just doing this to embarrass me even more.  
"M-my nipples." My voice is shaky and Evan smiles at my answer.  
"If you come, I'm going to tighten the cock ring more, and make you take a cold shower with it on, okay? Can you restrain yourself?" I expected something else, not threats of borderline torture. 

I whisper a little "Jesus Christ" under my breath and Evan chuckles.  
"Y-yes I can."  
Jared laughs a little at my determination and he sits up on his heels.  
"Ev?" He says casually, his swagger and confidence seems to be back.  
"Yes Jared?" Evan says sweetly as he's kissing up my neck.  
"Can I continue from earlier? My dick is killing me." Jared groans, and Evan chuckles.  
"I'm sure it is, go ahead."  
"Nice." Jared pushes his fingers back inside himself without any hesitation, and I squirm in my chair.  
Evan's hands slip under my shirt and I bite my lip. 

He murmurs soothing things into my ears, What a good boy, You're perfect, You'll be able to come soon I promise.  
His fingers graze my nipples and starts gently rubbing the piercings.  
I whimper and bite down on my lip harder.  
Evan kisses my neck, "It's okay baby, you can moan, such a good boy for us." He whispers into my ear.

"Oh god~" I close my eyes tightly and wince when he tugs.  
"Yeah such a good boy Connor." Jared teases, and I moan louder even though it was a joke.  
A look of shock passes over Jared's face, but it's quickly replaced with The Smirk™.

Evan pushes my shirt up and starts sucking on the left while twisting the right one. When I whine, Evan smiles lovingly and whispers more praises into my ears. This continues for a few minutes until Jared's moans get really loud.  
The brunette's breath hitches, he must've hit a good spot.  
"Jared, stop." Evan commands lowly.

He does so immediately, then sits up ram rod straight.  
Evan presses his thumb down hard on my nipple and I hiss. After a few more seconds of teasing, he stops and kisses me.  
"Baby you did so well, so perfect~" His fingers run through my hair, and I hum contentedly.  
Evan gets up off of me and nods approvingly at my disheveled appearance. He then moves over to grab his strap-on from the desk, that's the surprise? A new dildo? Evan twists the current attachment off of it.

"Jared, could you grab it for me?" He asks quietly, as he strips down. Ev's binder is covered in little endearing tree doodles. When he gets bored he draws all over them in sharpie. He unzips it carefully and folds it on the desk. Jared nods to Evan's request and reaches over to the box on the nightstand.

Evan pulls the belt part around his waist, and starts adjusting the straps, (which I could never do, they're just too difficult).  
Jared hands him something quickly, too quick for me to focus on it. Then Jared leans over, kisses me deeply, pushes his tongue into my mouth, and I forget all about it. Jared is a really good kisser. I turn my head slightly and he moans and pulls me closer by my shirt.

Evan chuckles and we both turn towards him.  
"Holy shit."  
Evan blushes at me and gestures a little bit when he speaks. "Is that Holy shit you look hot, or holy shit that looks scary."  
It looks to be about eight or nine inches, and it's got a screw-like design. I flush and meet eyes with Evan again.  
"Um- Both? T-that looks really," I fumble over my words, and struggle to form a coherent thought. 

"Sexy? Kinda scary, but in the oh god wreck me way." I mutter and drag my eyes along Evan's body. 

"G-good," Evan clears his throat again and Jared gets off me and back onto the bed. Evan positions them both at an angle so I can see pretty much everything, before he pushes into our boyfriend. Jared moans and his body tenses up at the intrusion. 

Evan doesn't seem to have a problem though, and eventually settles against Jared's hips comfortably.  
He whispers something into Jared's ear and he nods. Evan pulls out slowly, watching for discomfort, and then pushes back in. Jared bucks his hips, and Evan's hand flies down to still them.  
Evan snaps to get my attention, and when I focus my eyes there's a small remote in his hand.  
It clicks softly, and the cock ring starts vibrating violently against me. I gasp and hold onto the chair tightly. My boyfriend continues to ram in and out of Jared, and Jared continues to scream with a slowly dying voice.

"You're such a little whore~ You love being filled up don't you?"  
Jared screams in response,  
"Yes! Evan please! Ev, feelssogoodpleaseharder!"  
Evan gives him exactly what he wants.

I choke when the ring starts vibrating in little bursts and can't help it when my hips start humping the air. 

I get worried Ev is going to get mad at me again, but he just smiles, seemingly amused, and bucks into Jared harder. Jared's awareness of anything but Evan has long since died, and he convulses, moaning out a weak little "There, please!" whenever Evan hits his prostate.

The vibrations go up another notch before Evan places the remote down and focuses on hitting Jared in the right places.

"You gonna come Jare?" His whispers huskily into his ear and snaps the garter belt against his stomach.  
Jared nods frantically and Evan starts moving faster with every thrust. Jared's shoulders are twitching, but only slightly, and his body tenses up in Evan's hold. He's going to come soon. And so is Evan.

The blonde is holding onto Jared's hips with white knuckles, and his cock must be brushing against the strap on every time he pushes in. He's biting his lip when he's not whispering things into Jared's ear, and his hips have long since been stuttering in their rhythm.

Evan hits Jared's sweet spot a few more times before the smaller boy seizes up, and with a loud garbled shout of Evan's name, he comes all over his chest. Evan stops and pulls out, being careful not to overstimulate him more than he already has. 

The brunette lays down on the mattress bonelessly and sighs happily through the waves of his orgasm. Jared's toes curl and he stretches languidly along the bed.

The ring had stopped vibrating a long time ago, I don't remember when it was turned off, and Evan sits down on my lap again. The strap on kinda pokes me in the stomach, but I can't really focus on anything other than the agonizingly perfect torture in the form of a metal ring.

"Are you ready to come baby?" He asks with a sweet lilt in his voice and I nod eagerly.  
"Yes please Sir."  
Evan pulls the ring off, circles a hand around me, and jerks slowly allowing me to get used to it. Then starts pumping rougher and twists his wrist when his hand comes up.

"Fuck, Ev please~" Evan smiles.  
"Yeah, go on and come for me baby, you've been so good." He punctuates every other word with a rough jerk of his hand.  
"Evan!" Said boy smirks and licks his way into my mouth.  
"You're gonna piss off the neighbors." He purrs.  
"I don't give a shit." I tangle my hands in his hair and make out with him furiously. Our teeth clack and Evan's nose bumps too close to my eye, and it's definitely far from the best kiss we've had, but it's still so good.

"Ugh, you guys are such teases." I groan and Evan snickers playfully.  
"You like it."  
"Fuck yeah I do." I whisper into his mouth and put my arm around his waist.  
Evan massages the head of my dick and I hiss through my teeth.  
"C'mon Con, you can come now, I know you've been waiting a long time." Evan rambles sweetly into my ear and he continues to do so as I spill into his hand.  
"Good boy." I shiver and lean into Evan heavily. He brushes his (clean) hand through my hair until my breathing is steady.

"Hey Ev." Evan turns around and Jared motions him to come closer.  
"Yeah babe?"  
"What can I do for you love? You gave us both earth shattering orgasms, I think it's your turn."  
I nod and Evan flushes deeply.  
"O-oh I'm fine."  
"No, Ev don't bullshit me. Get over here, let me suck you off." Evan blushes harder and moans quietly. Jared pulls him down onto the bed by his hips and kisses his neck.  
I get up and stretch, then strip. Literally all my joints pop, my knees are the loudest, because I've been sitting for so long.

Jesus, my clothes are soaked in sweat and come. I sit down on the bed beside Evan and smile at him when Jared bites a hickey into his collarbone. Evan squeaks and clutches at Jared's shoulders awkwardly. Jared fumbles to pull the strap on off of him and then rubs his hips gently with his fingers.

Jared's thumb is circling Evan's dick and his hips are shakily pushing up into his hand. Oh god, Ev has got to be dripping wet right now. I moan quietly just thinking about it.  
Jared scoots back on the bed with Evan in his lap and then gently pushes him into laying his head on my legs. 

I brush my hand through his hair, as Jare places Evan's thighs on his shoulders. Evan whimpers and nuzzles my hand with his head.

"So hot Babe." I murmur and he flushes down to his chest.  
"I-I- I am- Con-" Jared leans in and kisses his dick to sidetrack him. It works wonderfully, Evan moans, his thighs slump around Jared's face and the brunette smirks.  
Jared sucks hard and nibbles along Evan's lips and Evan pushes his head into my stomach.  
"Jared~" Evan is breathless and squirms when our boyfriend's tongue pushes inside him. Evan squeezes his head in his thighs and shakes.

I rub circles into his hips with my thumbs lightly and Jared presses a finger in alongside his mouth. Evan shudders and scratches Jared's thighs up with his nails. Jared always melts our brains whenever he blows us, because he has a wonderful mouth. He can tie cherry stems with his tongue! And I know it sounds like a common talent, but it's not to me. Not when his kisses make my knees weak no matter what situation we're in. And he was literally a virgin before him met us how is it possible that he's this good without any practice?

Evan literally refused to kiss me, because I was so bad at it when we first got together. With time, I managed to not suck so bad (get it).

"I- oh! I'm gonna come!" Evan gasps out in surprise and wiggles in my lap.  
Jared pushes his finger in and out faster and sucks hard on Evan's cock in response.  
"J-Jared! I'mgonnacomeI'mgonnacome-" He breaks off with a scream and Jared laps it up soothingly. Evan's shoulders and thighs are shaking and he's desperately trying to take air into his lungs.  
Evan moans weakly and pushes Jared's head down again, to make sure he gets everything. Jared complies with a little smirk and Evan goes limp against the mattress.

There's a few minutes of silence, and Evan eventually comes down and sighs happily.  
"Was it good babe?" Jared purrs and looms over him on his elbows.  
"Fantastic." He sighs, and kisses Jared sweetly.  
"Feeling left out guys." I joke and Jared leans over and kisses my cheek lovingly.

We take a few more minutes to clean up and Evan is cuddled against my side when he whispers,  
"I- Was... Was this okay?"  
"God, babe it was awesome, you know I love surprises." I kiss his forehead and he lets out a relieved breath. Jared leans over me and kisses Evan as well, and then he melts against my side.  
"Nap?" Jared whispers and Evan and I both groan tiredly.  
Jared giggles and helps me pull the sheets up over us. My hands feel like I just woke from a coma, numb and useless.

I think Valentine's Day, may be my favorite holiday from now on.


	2. Evan

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> This takes place a month after the last one? So like mid March? And wow this was supposed to be fluff what the hell me
> 
> P.S. I am sorry if your favorite super hero is Captain America, I'm projecting my best friend onto Evan

The front door slams shut and Evan's angrily tugging his scarf off and throwing it to the ground. Then he sits down in a huff and starts unlacing his boots forcefully. I approach him carefully and stop a couple feet away from him.

"Bad day at work babe?" I say slowly and Evan grunts in response. I try to think back to what Heidi taught me to do when he shut himself out and wouldn't speak. My boyfriend slides the rest of the way to the floor in his snow covered jacket and stares at the ceiling silently.  
I take a few more steps towards him, and when Evan doesn't react, I crouch down in front of him, reach over and start to tug off the damp fabric that hangs on his shoulders.

He stays silent as I do this, and I help him sit up and I rub his back soothingly. Evan makes another soft, displeased noise, and I look him in the eyes.

"Hey, if you get up off the wet carpet, I'll make you a hot chocolate and then we can watch a movie. How does that sound?" I say as sweetly as I can, and Evan smiles a little bit. He leans into my chest and sniffles, and  
"Holy shit Ev are you crying?"  
Evan nods with a choked little laugh/cough and I hug him closer to me.

He cries for a little bit in short bursts, and then completely slumps in my arms.

"Jeez baby, was it that bad?" Evan nods again, I guess he prefers to be non responsive right now, and he wraps his legs around my waist.  
"C'mon Ev lets get up off the floor, Connor should be back from Zoe's soon. Want him to pick anything up for you?" 

Evan nods again and gets off of me, so I can stand, and when I do he lifts his arms up.  
'Please carry me.' 

I hold him against my chest again, and even though I'm shorter and Evan is mostly muscle, I get over to the other room in one piece and sit him down at the counter in our kitchen. While the milk is heating up on the stove, I gather Evan up and put my arms under his so he can see the screen.

"Look, we're gonna text Connor. What do you want him to get for you?" I murmur into his ear and Evan snatches my phone and types 'marshmallows' into notes.

To : Conman >:7  
Hey babe Ev had a really bad day and he wants you home asap

It doesn't take Connor long to respond.

From : Conman >:7  
Oh shit! Is he okay?!!? I'll wrap things up as quick as I can but... I don't know how long it's gonna take 

To : Conman >:7  
He is now, but he was crying earlier, and he said he wants you to get him some fucking marshmallows. ASAP. Stat. Today!

Evan laughs at my wording and I nuzzle his neck.

From : Conman >:7  
Evan my poor baby, fuck he gets all the marshmallows he wants, what kind should I get??

Evan takes my phone again and rubs his cheek against mine. Then he starts typing away to Connor. I kiss his cheek and go back to the stove to stir the chocolate into the milk.

To : Conman >:7  
I miss you and love you so much also can I have the jumbo kind 

[Conman >:7] is typing....

From : Conman >:7  
You can have anything you want Ev love you <3 Tell JareBear I love him too

Evan drapes himself along my back and shoves the phone screen in my face. After pouring the hot chocolate into our thickest mug, I reply to Connor with 'Love you too dirtbag hurry your ass home'.

Evan lets out an almost purr, and he snuggles into my neck more.  
"Cmon babe, there's a movie and an hour of cuddling calling your name." I rub circles into his shoulder as I steer him into the living room.

He flops down onto the couch dramatically and holds out a hand for his drink. I give it to him, accompanied with a little kiss on the cheek, and I pick up the remote and start flipping through the channels. Evan cuddles into my side and makes a little displeased noise whenever I stop on a movie he doesn't like.

When I hover over Captain America : Civil War, Evan throws an arm over his eyes and whines, "You know how much I hate frisbee man!" His voice is a bit more shrill and high pitched than usual, and I jump at the sound of it and chuckle. Evan really really hates Captain America.

'Jare he's useless! All he does is throw that disk around and do parkour!'  
'Spiderman basically does the same thing, all he does is swing around the city.'  
'Jared Clarissa Kleinman you take that back!'

I continue scrolling until Evan springs up and grabs my arm.  
"Stop?"  
Evan smiles and nods. Oh good he's finally made a decision.  
My mood 180's when I see what he chose.  
"The fucking Bee Movie Ev?" Evan snickers and nods again and I grimace.  
"Baby I love you but what the fuck." Evan's smile drops and I scramble mentally.  
"Okay okay okay we'll watch it we'll watch it." Evan presses his nose into my neck, and I can feel his lips quirk back up.

Do it for EvanDo it for EvanDo it for EvanDo it for EvanDo it for Evan,  
I click on it and it's only just started.  
'Yellow Black, Yellow Black, Yellow Black, Yellow Black. Oooooh Black and Yellow. Let's shake it up a little!'  
Evan latches himself to my side and huffs against my neck when I try to move.  
"Honey can I take my sweater off? You're like a little space heater." Said space heater, giggles and shakes his head. I manage to tug my arms out of the sleeves, and the cardigan is wrapped around my waist, when Evan takes it and shrugs it on.  
"Are you cold love?"  
Evan clears his throat painfully.  
"Not anymore." He smiles lightly and his voice is scratchy, but speaking is a step forward.

Jared don't mention it for the love of God.

"Dude you sound like you just sucked a dick." JARED YOU FUCKING IDIOT.  
Evan blushes darkly and starts stuttering his way through a response.  
"W-well I um- I haven't- becaus-se Con-Connor isn't here, but! That doesn't mean if he w-was here, I would be- I was just s-saying-" 

"Ev, baby stop I was making a joke. I wasn't trying to make fun of you, okay?"  
Evan snaps his mouth shut, nods and turns back to the movie.  
Good going Jared, now he's not gonna speak for the rest of the night. 

The door opens, and it takes me a second to realize that wasn't a sound effect from the movie, and Connor is suddenly draped across Evan's back and the couch.  
"Baby, are you okay? I didn't take too long did I? Zoe and Alana had so much to unpack, it was crazy."  
Evan shakes his head and turns around to fully embrace our boyfriend. Connor pushes himself up and over the back of the couch and sits himself down in front of Evan.

There's a small crinkling sound and Connor hands Ev a huge bag of jumbo marshmallows. Evan holds it numbly for a few seconds, and then tears start to drip down his face.  
"Fuck, Evan, are you okay?" Connor swipes a thumb through his tears, and Evan makes a little dry sobbing noise.  
"Baby please don't cry."  
I grab one of Evan's hands and hold it in my lap. Connor runs his hands through Evan's hair, and he makes another shuddering noise.

"I love you guys." He chokes out and then sobs again.  
"Oh baby," Connor sighs and pulls Evan into his chest.  
Ev pulls his hand away from me, and that stings I'm not going to lie, and he grasps the back of Connor's hoodie and cries harder.

He did that because he hates you. Evan never wants to talk to you again, and they're gonna break up with you. No one is surprised, every one had been placing bets on when he'd get tired of you.

Connors eyes flick over to me and he holds out a hand for me to take. He stares at me,  
'Evan didn't mean to hurt your feelings,'  
I lace my fingers with Connor's and Evan's sobs get a little quieter.

"I-I ha-ah-ve the best boyfriends e-ever." He scrubs at his face with a frustrated noise and slumps into Connor's chest.  
His eyelids are heavy and Evan closes them a couple times, only to open them back up and blink.  
"What are you guys watching?" Connor murmurs, and nods to the tv.  
"The Bee Movie." I smile.  
Connor snorts,  
"Are you fucking serious?"  
Evan whines and pushes himself out of Connor's arms and leans back into my side.

"Jared said we could watch it," His voice quiet, but it's still higher than normal.  
"Hear that Con? I'm the favorite." Evan snuggles closer to me and nods. A warm feeling settles in my chest and I stick my tongue out at our boyfriend.  
"Oh my god fine I'll watch the fucking Bee Movie, Jesus Christ." Connor sighs and leans into Evan's other side and he ends up sandwiched between us.  
Evan makes a happy purr and laces our fingers together. God this movie sucks ass but if it makes Evan happy, we're watching it. When I look back from the movie at Evan and Connor, they're making out messily. And by messily, I mean lots of teeth and lots of ass grabbing. 

"Woah keep it PG nerds."  
Evan flushes at the sound of my voice and pulls his mouth away from Connor's with a little pop. At least Evan was nice enough to continue to hold my hand as they ate each other's faces without me.  
"I was bored, this movie sucks." Connor grunts and kisses up the side of Evan's neck.  
Evan giggles and leans his neck away to give Con more room. Then Evan tugs me closer by my hand and kisses all over my face in little pecks. He kisses my nose and then connects our lips with a purr.  
Then Ev lets go with a moan, I look over his shoulder and Connor is sucking a mark into his jaw.

"Jesus Con you act like you're stranded in the desert and Evan is your source of water."  
"Bitch he might be."  
Evan laughs and leans into Connor further. Con bites his collarbone, and Evan moans again.  
"I can't believe you guys are making out with the Bee Movie in the background."  
Evan snorts and pulls me closer by wrapping his legs around my waist.  
I put my arms around his neck, blocking Con from another kiss and he huffs unhappily.  
While Evan is kissing my cheek, he suddenly yelps and jumps up in my lap.  
"Connor!"  
"My hand slipped."  
I look over Ev's shoulder, and Connor's hand is on his ass.  
"What did he do?" I ask, because he could've done anything. It's Connor, let's be real here.  
Evan sighs and pulls me closer.  
"He pinched me." 

Connor smirks and drapes himself along Evan's back.  
"You can't prove shit baby." Our boyfriend huffs and turns in my arms to Connor.  
"Do you want to see the bruise?" Connor sticks his tongue out with a wink.  
"Are you offering?"  
Evan frowns with a deep blush and leans back in to kiss me. He bites my lower lip, and pushes his tongue into my mouth without warning.  
I pull away and smirk at his blush.  
"Getting cocky babe?"  
Evan flushes deeper and buries his face in my chest with a whine. Connor pushes my arms down to his hips and starts kissing another dark hickey.

Evan shudders and moans in my arms. I blush and run a hand through his hair.  
Connor smiles and hugs Evan close to him.  
"Hey babe," Connor starts with a soothing tone, and Evan hums in response.  
"You wanna talk about what happened?"  
Evan stops and goes still between us and I meet eyes with Connor.

I try to telepathically tell him he fucked up, and the guilty look on his face shows he realized what he's done.  
Evan was carefree and happy to forget all about today, and he was just reminded of what made him such a mess when he got home.  
"I suppose... I'll have to tell you both eventually."  
Connor and I blink in surprise and Con nods and kisses Evan's cheek.  
"You can start whenever you like." I say gently and Evan smiles weakly.  
He clears his throat awkwardly and puts his chin on my shoulder.  
"I um. Had to take a break from T for- for this week. The doctor said something was wrong with my dosage, and he needed to adjust it." Connor winces sympathetically and rubs his back. I kiss his cheek gently, giving him room to pull away if he wanted, but he leaned into it my surprise.

"I-I, Today, There was this, this family that, want-wanted a tour of the park, and the parents kept referring to me as Eva, e-even though I said it was Evan, and-and I had a panic attack." His voice cracks on the word attack, and I hug him and kiss his head. Connor is seething, his hands are shaking, and his eyes are dark. 

"Those people are full of shit Ev, they don't know what they're talking about." I whisper into his ear and Evan is shaking.  
"A-Are my hips really that wide?" His voice wavers and he looks up to meet my eyes. His blue eyes are watery and red at the edges. 

"Baby," I whisper, and Evan repeats himself more forcefully.  
"Are my hips that wide." Truthfully, they are flared out, but I love it. Evan is beautiful to me no matter what shape or size he is.  
"Honey you're gorgeous, what does it matter?"  
Evan flushes and puts his face back into my neck.  
"Will I ever be seen as a real guy?" He sighs sadly.

Connor blinks and seems to come back into his body at Evan's question. His eyebrows furrow and he wraps his legs around us.  
"You are a guy." Connor says to him and Evan shrugs.  
"Uh uh, don't you do that. I know you dead named yourself for months love, don't fall back into that." I kiss Ev to punctuate Connor's words and he slumps uselessly in our hold.

Connor smiles and starts rubbing Evan's shoulders sweetly. Evan shifts his shoulder blades and makes a small happy noise. Tension melts away from his body and a soft smile finds itself on Evan's face.  
"Oh shit you're treating him to a Murphy back rub?"  
Connor nods and continues to knead the tension out of Evan's back.  
I suddenly remember that the fucking Bee Movie, is still playing and I lean over to shut it off.  
Evan lets out a startled moan and Connor snickers, and digs his fingers into the knot. I pull myself away from Evan, so he can lay on his stomach, and Connor moves his hands lower in circular motions. He stays away from his binder expertly, to avoid chafing and Evan sighs happily.

I grab the forgotten marshmallows, take one out of the bag, and hand it to him. Evan perks up and wiggles his arms out from beneath his chin and then stuffs it into his mouth like a fucking hamster. I also pick up the hot chocolate, and take it over to the kitchen to reheat it.  
"Jared you're the best." Evan calls after me and pride settles in my chest again. Connor makes a fake noise of outrage, and then Evan moans loudly.  
"Mhm, Never mind Connor's the best," He sighs, and Con laughs and does something else that makes Evan let out a surprised squeak.  
The microwave beeps, and I take the mug out and place a few marshmallows into it. Sadly we have no whipped cream, though I don't think Ev will really care if he's receiving the best back rub he'll probably ever get in his entire life.

"Mm fuck Connor." Evan's voice rings out loudly, and when I walk back into the living room, Evan's arms are pinned above his head and Connor is sitting in his lap. They're lip locked, and Evan is moaning with every exhale.  
"Jesus. Give a guy a warning you two."  
Connor smirks and trails his fingers down his side. Evan squirms and presses his hips up into him.  
Con bucks hard in retaliation, and then they're grinding against each other.

"Classy," Evan and Connor both turn to me. "If you guys have sex on the couch, you'll have to clean up the stains."  
Evan flushes and Connor motions for me to come over. I set the cup down onto the table and kneel on the floor next to the couch. To make us somewhat at eye level. Connor grips my chin and pulls me in for a deep kiss.  
"Jesus." Evan breathes out, throws his head back and continues to shakily follow Connor's rhythm with his hips. Connor's lips are moving fast, and it's hard (hard?) to keep up. 

I grip his hair and Connor inhales sharply and thrusts harshly against Evan. I tug, and Connor whimpers, his hand loosens around Evan's wrists and he breaks free, holds Connor's hips tightly and grinds harder against him. Con is trapped between us, helpless, and then he smirks.  
That's a dangerous smirk. That's a 'you're in for it now' kind of smirk. Connor rubs the front of Evan's pants with his magic hands, and he completely falls apart.  
"Con, Con-Connor. Oh, please." Connor then grabs the back of my neck and stars explode behind my eyelids. He chuckles darkly, and trails his fingers lightly up and down my nape. I shudder and grip my thighs in an effort to steel myself. But Connor's nails slide teasingly across the back of it, and I struggle not to come.  
Evan shrieks and I open my eyes blearily. Connor has a hand down his pants, and is circling slowly with his thumb.

Evan whimpers, and Connor's hand dips, I assume his finger is pushing inside him. Evan is practically vibrating, and his back arches nicely, but I can't focus on it for too long because Connor's hand is teasingly dipping down the back of my shirt, and scratching lightly. I flush and moan loudly. Connor smirks teasingly.  
"Are you gonna come from just a little bit of foreplay baby? That's cute."  
I blush angrily and focus on the wall behind them. He pulls his finger out of Evan, who was just getting into it, and Connor tugs me onto the couch with them. He leans over and kisses my neck with purpose, and Evan stares, absolutely transfixed, as I squirm and cry out at the small amount of attention.  
He sucks a hickey right in the middle of my neck, I'm going to have to use concealer to cover that up, and my toes curl. I have absolutely no stamina, and this is a lot to me. We don't really have sex often, and it's usually Connor or Evan initiating it. Not that I don't like it! 

I'm just very new to... Well, everything. I never masturbated when I was younger, (because of my self hatred), so I'm basically the highest level of virgin you could get. The only reason I know about my neck, is because I had a boyfriend when I was in 8th grade who missed my cheek. 

I don't have much experience, under the belt. Hah get it? 'Under the belt' replacing the common phrase 'Under my belt' in reference to a personal skill set. No one thinks that's funny? Fine whatever. 

Connor kisses my jaw and worries his teeth up to my ear.  
Evan moans breathily, and I look over to see Connor's finger back between his legs. My thighs are shaking and I lean my face away, subjecting myself to the torture.  
Connor bites down lightly on my collarbone, testing the waters and I whimper. He seems pleased with the sound and bites down harder. My thighs shake harder, and I grip his shoulders with my nails.  
"Bed. Can we go to the bed?" Evan whines and Connor nods. His hair flicks me in the face, but I don't really give a fuck. Connor yet again, pulls his fingers out of Ev, and sits up. 

Evan heaves for a minute, and I take a breather too. Fuck, that bite got me good. Connor grabs the backs of Evan's thighs and hauls him over his shoulder and stands up. Ev squeaks and a warm feeling blooms in my chest at the shocked blush on his cheeks. Connor nods toward the stairs.  
'Follow me.'  
Con reconsiders how he's carrying Evan with a pause, and then he flips him around so he's holding him bridal style. Evan sticks his tongue out at me over his shoulder and I do the same thing right back. Connor looks between us when we're halfway up the stairs and sighs.  
"I'm dating two children."  
Evan makes a short offended gasp, and I point accusingly at him and shout, "Pedophile!"  
Evan snorts and Connor glares at me dangerously.  
Like in a 'You better watch your mouth' kinda way.

So naturally I provoke him even more.  
"Connor's a perv!" I taunt in a high voice, like a grade schooler, and Evan bursts into full blown laughter. By now we're in the hallway, and Connor looks at me darkly. 'You are going to get it when you least expect it.'  
My blood goes cold, and Evan giggles.  
'You're screwed.'  
Connor opens the door and quite literally throws Evan at the bed. Evan bounces a little bit, and then he settles against the headboard and spreads his legs.  
"So eager babe, can't wait for us to fuck you huh?" Jared can tell Connor feels weird saying it, but Evan doesn't seem to care and moans.  
"Yes please." He shifts his hips and Connor turns to me with a small smile.  
"Can you get me lube and a condom babe?" I nod, kiss him chastely, and then start digging through the nightstand.  
Connor sits on the bed between Evan's legs and rubs him gently again.  
Evan whines and hurriedly tugs his pants off.

"Woah Ev. I've never seen you this needy," He purrs, seemingly amused by Evan's eagerness.  
Evan blushes and starts to pull his pants back up with shaky hands as he rambles.  
"I-I'm sorry, I'm be-being annoying I'll stop,"  
Connor grabs Evan's hands and kisses them, before smiling sweetly.  
"My love you're okay, I think it's really cute." Connor smiles and kisses him, but Evan goes rigid.  
I sit down on the bed with the stuff and I rub his thigh. Evan doesn't relax. He's gone completely still and his eyes are watery.

"Evan? Evan baby, what did I say? I'm sorry." Connor says worriedly and cups his cheeks.  
"I-I just-" Evan chokes a little bit, "Don't call me cute," He swallows and pauses again. "It's too- f-feminine." 

Connor's eyes widen and he rubs his shoulders.  
"Oh baby I'm sorry. I won't call you that anymore, that's all you had to say."  
Evan nods and leans into Connor's chest.  
"My handsome boy." Evan blushes, exhales and nods again, to confirm to himself mostly that, yes, he was a boy.  
I hand Connor the lube and the condom, and wink at Evan's flushed face. Connor strips his jacket, that he has nothing under, and then pulls lightly at the hem of Evan's shirt.  
"Off?" Evan nods and Connor unbuttons it and tugs it over his head. I help Evan take off his binder, and Ev breathes out a relieved sigh.  
Connor then turns to me and motions to my clothes.  
"Yeah yeah, I'll strip for you weirdo." 

Connor laughs, and I pull my shirt off and unbutton my jeans.  
"There, happy?" I snark and sit back down criss cross.  
Connor smiles and nods.  
"Mm, very." 

Evan squirms and pulls Connor closer by his shoulders.  
"Con, please."  
He nods and grabs the little bottle from the sheets and covers his fingers with it.  
"Whatever you say boss." Connor chirps and pulls his boxers down. Evan grimaces at the word boss for a second, and then the uncertainty is back.  
Evan shifts nervously and wraps his legs around Connor's waist. Connor leans in and kisses his cheek.  
"My perfect boy." He says with a sweet little smile, and Evan relaxes into the mattress with a dopey grin.  
Connor rubs around his entrance lightly and Evan shivers a little bit. I scoot closer to Evan's side and pet his hair soothingly.

Connor pushes his middle finger inside him and twists it side to side slowly.  
Evan sounds like he's being punched in the gut and whines when Connor starts thrusting a little faster.  
In  
Twist  
Out  
Repeat  
I wrap my hand around Evan's dick and he shrieks.  
"Jared!" Cuts through all the breathy moans of Connor's name and I kiss up to his ear,  
"Our gorgeous boy. You're doing so well." I whisper and Evan whines.  
Connor slips his pointer finger inside him as well, and Evan winces at the stretch. Ev weakly grips my arm and shivers. I spit into my hand (gross but Evan doesn't seem to care) and I continue to jerk him off as Connor busily explores.

"Connor, Con, babe please please." Evan gasps out and presses his finger nails into my bicep.  
"Yeah? You want more baby?"  
Evan nods and pushes his hips back into Connor's thrusts.  
He slides a third inside our boyfriend, and Evan shudders.  
"Fuck." He sighs out and lifts shaky thighs to rest around Connor's hips.  
Connor stretches his fingers apart and Evan winces.  
"I- mmhm,"  
"Are you okay?" Connor whispers and Evan nods quickly.  
"YeahYeah- Just burns a little bit." Connor slows down and eventually Evan is moaning again.  
"Please." He sighs and grips my hand.  
Connor smiles and pulls them out, shushing Evan sweetly when he whines sadly.  
I pat him comfortingly, before taking my hand off him. Evan looks at me with a betrayed expression.  
I hand Connor the condom, he smiles and takes it.

Evan wiggles and readjusts himself. Then he sits up and motions for me to sit behind him.  
"Okay?" I put my legs hesitantly around Evan's and he sighs happily.

"C'mere," He whispers and tugs my arms to rest around his chest. Connor takes off his pants and covers himself in lube, whimpering brokenly when his thumb grazes the head.  
"Little pent up there babe?" I ask with a smirk and Connor frowns and nods.  
"Uh huh."  
Evan grips my hands and bites his lip. Jeez Ev knows he's gonna get wrecked. 

Connor grips Evan's hip and pulls him closer. He nudges the tip against him, and waits for the go ahead. Evan sighs and pushes down lightly.  
"Okay."  
Connor pushes in slowly, and Evan is wincing and gripping my hands tightly. I kiss him gently and Evan releases one of my hands, to place his on my neck and tug me in further. Connor gets about halfway when Ev asks for a breather.  
They stop, and Evan idly plays with my hair while he adjusts. 

"I like your hair Jared." He says randomly and scratches lightly at my neck.  
"Yeah?"  
"Yeah. It's really soft." He sighs and snuggles into my side. I snort and squeeze his hand.  
"Nah babe, have you felt Connor's hair? He uses three bottles of conditioner in one go."  
Connor huffs and nods.  
"It's true I do use a lot."  
Evan laughs, and shifts his hips. He lets out a startled moan and shifts them again.  
"Connor move!"  
Con scrambles to comply and starts to press in deeper, occasionally pulling out a little bit then thrusting back in.  
Evan's hand grips my hair tightly and he throws his head back onto my shoulder. I pull him in closer to my chest and kiss anything I can reach on his face.

Connor finally bottoms out and Evan whimpers. Connor is pretty big, and Evan is really really tight so it must hurt a little bit. If it does, Evan doesn't show his discomfort and pushes back into his thrusts. Connor then shoves himself further using all of his weight and I move to stop him, he might hurt Ev.  
But my smaller boyfriend just twitches and moans brokenly.  
"Evan are you okay?" I ask slowly, and he nods.  
"I don't know if you could tell, but our boyfriend here, can be a real slut." Connor smirks and pulls out carefully. Evan shivers and blushes, then hisses when Connor presses his hand down on his dick.  
"Aren't you Evan?" Connor says with a syrupy tone.

"I- Connor!"  
Connor clicks his tongue,  
"That's not an answer baby."  
Evan shakes and nudges me with his forehead.  
"Jared, make him stop being mean." He whines and I just tug him closer by his torso.  
"Sorry Ev, I'm not in charge here." I sigh and Connor smiles widely.  
"Good answer, love."

Evan sighs and buries his face in my neck.  
"..."  
"C'mon Ev, I'll stop if you don't." He says, with a carefree tone, like he doesn't particularly care if they stop or continue. I can see him throbbing inside Evan, so he's not being serious with his threat but Evan shakes his head and huffs against my neck.  
"I'm a slut for bottoming." He mumbles and Connor smiles brightly, and starts thrusting again. He gets faster with every passing second and Evan squirms in my arms.  
"Jared." My eyes snap up to Connor's and he's smiling widely.  
"Come here."  
I scoot from behind Evan and sits in front of them.  
"Yeah?"  
One of Connor's hands pulls away from Evan's hips and plays with the zipper on my pants.  
"I- um."  
His hand stops and he meets my eyes.  
"Do you not want to?" 

Do I want to?  
I nod and flush.  
"It's just, embarrassing."  
Connor smiles and brushes his hand against the front of my jeans.  
"It's not embarrassing to feel good my love."  
Evan nods and moans loudly as an example and I blush harder.  
"You know I'm new to this."  
Connor flushes and nods quickly.  
"I know babe," His hand slides up and down and I whine.  
"And it's really hot." Connor sighs.  
Evan sits up on his elbows.  
"Mhm I second that."  
He pulls my jeans down a little further and applies pressure to my clothed dick in little circular motions.  
"Hey Evan," Connor starts, and Evan purrs, "Yes?"  
"I'm gonna multitask a little bit." He slides his hand into my underwear and grips me. The tight circle of his hand jerks up, and he starts thrusting into Evan again.  
It takes Ev a second to get his thoughts back in order and he shakes his head and brushes Connor's hand away.  
My heart sinks to my stomach, and I feel absolutely hopeless.

You don't deserve anything.

But then, Evan wraps his hand around me instead, and starts jerking quickly. All my dark thoughts melt away and I struggle to stay still.  
"Fuck, Ev." 

Evan's cocky grin disappears when Connor speeds up, holding onto his hips desperately. Evan's thumb sweeps over the head, and I feel pressure building in my stomach. Evan and Connor aren't going to come anytime soon, they're far from it actually, but I'm already on the edge.  
They insisted they didn't care if I came too quick, encouraged it even, but I still feel self conscious and uneasy about how fast I am. I swallow down those feelings and just focus on the tight pressure of Evan's hand.  
"Babes, I'm close."  
Connor smiles and cups my cheek sweetly.  
"Okay love, just let go." I nuzzle my cheek into his hand and shiver. His abundant use of pet names absolutely destroys me, one hundred percent of the time.

Evan moans loudly when Connor thrusts back in and squeezes my cock tightly on the way down.

I bite my lip, and Evan smiles at me comfortingly. Thrusting into his hand as quickly as my hips would let me, I feel pressure building hotly.

Connor pets my neck and my eyes roll into the back of my head.  
I don't know how loud I am when I orgasm, but when I open my eyes again, Evan and Connor are staring at me, shocked.  
"Jesus baby." Connor breathes and runs a hand through my hair.  
"That good?" It was amazing.  
I nod and stretch towards the sky to pop a few spots in my spine.

"The neighbors definitely heard that," Evan sighs, impressed, and strokes me one more time before pulling away and wiping his hand on the sheets.  
Connor shrugs, "Nothing they haven't heard before. If they didn't like it, they would've moved a long time ago." I cringe at the idea of strangers getting off to us and lie down next to Evan. He grips my arm again, and moans shakily.  
Connor pulls out slowly, letting Evan feel every inch and then pushes in, in one fluid movement.

"Mmh Con!" He twitches and puts his legs up onto Connor's shoulders. That just makes him slip in deeper.  
"Fuck!" Evan squeaks and squeezes my hand in surprise.  
Connor snickers and speeds up again.  
"Haven't heard you swear so much in a while," I kiss Evan to quiet him, but it's no use. If anything, kissing had made him louder.

Connor rubs his sides, and speeds up again. And that is why I never top, because according to my boyfriends, your thighs and stomach burn afterwards. Connor is a masochist and likes that feeling, So he's a bit biased when asked. And Evan gets a power rush after topping, so he doesn't really remember much other than being extremely energized and constantly thinking, 'That was perfect.'

"Connor, I need-" Evan gasps and cuts himself off with a wounded sound.  
"What? What d'you need baby?" He murmurs and Evan shivers.  
"I need to come."  
Connor smiles and continues to pound into him.  
"All you had to do was ask."  
I slip my hand down to Evan's dick and gently rub up and down slowly.  
"Fuck," He breathes out and starts to push back into Connor's thrusts.

He'd been sitting bonelessly for a while, making punched out noises when Connor pushed in.  
Now he was responding eagerly, and his hand let go of my arm to clutch my thigh instead.

"How close are you?"  
"Very." His voice wavers and his nails dig into my inner thigh.  
Connor holds him closer, speeds up even more, and kisses Evan even though Con is gasping for oxygen. Connor's stomach muscles are twitching, but he doesn't mention it and pushes through.

Evan convulses, and I wrap my arms around his chest and hug him from behind again. Con talks him down from his high gently, but Ev shakes his head and rocks his hips, no doubt squeezing around Connor.  
He makes a wounded noise and looks at Evan pitifully.  
"Baby I'm trying to hold back, I don't want to hurt you, you just came, rest a little bit."  
His words are slurring together, and Evan pushes his hair over and smiles fondly.  
"I knew you'd get like this, and I want it to happen. I wouldn't have agreed if I didn't want to be overstimulated."

Connor sighs and puts his face in Evan's neck.  
"ThankyouThankyouThankyou."  
I clear my throat and Connor looks up in slight curiosity.  
"Uh, if Ev-Evan can't handle it, you can- um fuck me instead? Or whatever you don't have to." I blush hotly and scramble at the end.

Connor kisses my cheek and acts as though a twenty pound weight has been lifted from his shoulders.  
Then Connor gently eases back into their original rhythm.

Or... He tries to. Eventually his need wins out and he starts viciously pounding into our boyfriend.  
Evan is moaning with every thrust, but it's got an edge to it. Like what Connor's doing is just on the right side of painful. 

Connor grips Evan's shoulders and when he comes, it kinda looks like an exorcism. I wonder if I look like that when I orgasm, But I guess everyone is like that in a sense. Evan runs his hand through Connor's hair and he eventually comes down. 

"Holy fuck." He shudders and Evan giggles. "That was the most intense sex I've ever had." He sounds worn out, but he doesn't collapse on top of Ev like I would.  
He pulls out, Evan winces, Con showers him with apologies, then ties off the condom and drops it in the trash.  
"It looked like it. It was like a demon escaped your body when you came."  
Connor blushes and bites his lip.

Damn it Jared why can't you keep your fucking mouth shut.

"Do I look bad? When I...." Connor trails off with a far away look. He gestures slightly when he talks, but it's not like usual. He tends to use huge gestures, and when he tells a story he looks out of his body. Like he's placing himself there.

"Ev said I looked weird once, but I didn't think much of it."  
I hurry to stop him and Evan rubs his shoulder.  
"Nononono that's not what I meant, you just looked shocked!"  
Connor sighs, he doesn't believe me.  
"I'm serious, it was like you were struck, and your eyebrows furrowed slightly like you were angry about being hit by fake lightning."  
Connor snorts at the mental picture and I breathe a sigh of relief internally.

"I for one, think Connor looks very fuck-able when he comes. 10/10 would bang again." Evan says with a serious tone, and then Connor's laughing. Like full blown holy shit my stomach hurts but I can't stop laughter. He hasn't done that in a long time.

"I can't believe I'm not dating one dumbass, but two." He gasps for breath between laughs and Evan and I kiss his cheeks.  
"Yeah well, you're fucking stuck with us now." I laugh and Connor fakes a fearful look.  
Evan wraps himself around Connor while he giggles, "Yeah, too bad, because we're not leaving." If Connor's eyes are watering, no one mentions it.

I curl myself around Evan's other side and watch Connor's eyelids grow heavier with each passing second. Then a light bulb goes off in my head.  
"I can't believe all of this happened because of The Bee Movie."

My boyfriends share a look of horror and then we move back to the living room. Connor puts on a movie called 'Little Big Man', Evan eats the entire bag of marshmallows by himself, and Connor and I drink Ev's hot chocolate because he insists he doesn't want it anymore.

'It's cold.'  
'Ev I could make you some more,'  
'It wouldn't be the same, you guys have it.'  
'What are you talking about Crazy, it would be exactly the same.'  
'No.'

At the ten minute mark of the movie, my boys are already fast asleep, Ev buried in my neck on my left side, and Connor is on his other, half spooning him half sprawled along his back.  
And there's no where else I'd rather be.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Who's your favorite Superhero? Mine's Spiderman, hmu if you agree Spidey is the best


	3. Jared

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> This is a couple days after the last one, no smut in this one folks!  
> Warning :  
> Threats and Thoughts of Suicide  
> Panic Attack, Near Death Experience 
> 
> oh and did I mention Jared works at Olive Garden with Alana

God when will this fucking road end so I can be home already. 

Work was awful. Alana had yelled at me. Screamed. She's never done that before. She told me that I should go. And that she didn't need me. I don't even remember what I was angry about before. It was my fault I guess... I purposefully spoke to hurt her.

A sad song starts playing and I try to change the station.

My hands are shaking too much, and it won't turn. The song continues to play, and hot tears spill from my eyes.  
Why do songs like this always play when I'm not feeling good.

I swerve and a car honks at me loudly. I was on the wrong side of the road. My blood goes cold,

I almost died.

 

Don't you wish you did?

 

I turn sideways into our driveway, and tear open the door. I don't look anywhere but upstairs. There's a harsh buzzing in my ears and I hear a faint 'Jared!' But I don't turn back. I open the door to our bedroom and slam it in my boyfriend's faces. After turning the lock, I hear Evan whispering frantically to Connor. 

"Jared open the door!" Connor shouts and the handle jiggles.   
"Fuck you!" I shout back and kick the door as hard as I can. Blood spills in the toe of my shoe and I slide down to the floor facing the bed.

"Please Jare! Talk to us." Evan begs and knocks softly.  
"I've got a fucking idea for you, how about you and Connor go off into the other room and be useless, BECAUSE ITS WHAT YOU BOTH DO BEST." I screech at the door, and Connor and Evan go silent. I can almost see the scathing wounds my words left behind, but at the moment I don't care. I don't fucking care.

A minute passes in silence.

"Jared," Connor starts gently, and I hear a thump, then someone slides down to the ground behind me.  
"I know you're upset right now."

"Damn fucking straight I'm upset." I growl and Connor inhales deeply.  
"But that gives you no right to lash out at Ev." 

My heart feels heavy and I know Connor's glaring at me through the door.  
"You know where our boyfriend is right now?" His voice is a low hiss. I stay silent.  
"He's in the guest room crying. Because he thinks you don't love him anymore." 

I feel sick. I'm gonna throw up. Bile shoots up to my throat and I swallow the acid with a grimace. More tears spill and I turn around and lean my forehead against the door.

"I suggest you straighten your shit, and you tell me why you locked yourself in there." His voice is less angry this time.  
I choke back a sob and curl up, trying to imagine Connor holding me.   
I feel like I have the flu. My lungs are compressed and it feels like I swallowed a brick.  
I scrub at my face with my knuckles and shudder for breath.

"I'm an awful boyfriend." I force out between sobs and Connor inhales sharply.  
"I just yelled at you guys for wanting to help,"   
Connor tries to stop me,   
"Baby it's fine just please tell-"  
"You should break up with me, because I'm terrible. Horrible. A waste of oxygen. I should just kill myself, then you guys won't have to deal with me."

 

Pathetic.

You want attention this bad? You're bluffing you little wimp. You would never actually do it.

 

Wanna bet?  
"Jared no! No, baby don't, please we love you okay? Why are you thinking like that?" 

Tears soak my shirt and I press my fingernails into my arm, hard enough to bleed. I'm ugly sobbing. 

 

God you're fucking disgusting.

 

"Because it's true. Everyone gets tired of me eventually Con. I should just finish this." I get up on shaky legs and start searching through the drawers.

"Jared, I want you to listen to me."   
I stop and face the direction of the voice.  
"What?" I say, my voice is choked and nasally with tears.

 

You sound so pitiful just do it already, they don't want you anymore.

 

"We love you so much baby, So Much. I don't know what I'd do without you. Evan, is in the next room, crying because he doesn't want you to leave. I know how you feel, alright? Talk to me. What happened?"   
I walk back over to the door and sit down. My eyes are heavy and my stomach starts to hurt more.

"I, I was saying shitty things to Alana. I don't remember why. I was frustrated 'bout something." I whisper with a rough voice. Connor stays quiet on the other side.

 

He hates you. Alana is his friend too, and now you've ruined everything.

 

"I don't remember what. Everyone got mad at me, like they should've, and Alana. She just started screaming. That she didn't need me, and that no one wanted me there. S-So I got in my car," 

Connor waits in fearful silence.

"And- And I was driving on the wrong side of the road. On accident! B-because I had a panic attack. A car honked and I didn't crash. But... I wish I did." I choke and my voice cracks horribly.

"Jared," Connor breathes.

 

I wish you died too.

 

"Please. Please don't think that." It dawns on me. He's crying too.  
"Please don't Jared, Ev and I need you. Okay? You're not leaving us anytime soon right? You, You promised me." 

"I'm sorry." I whisper hoarsely, and Connor jiggles the door knob again.   
"I'm going to get Evan. By the time I come back I want that door unlocked okay?"  
"Okay."

 

You could just kill yourself while he's gone. 

It doesn't take much time if you do it right. And there was a nice looking pair of scissors in the bed side table.

With a few slashes, you could make their lives so much better.

 

The door swings off it's hinges and Evan wrestles the scissors out of my hand. He's sobbing and he throws them to the ground. They were hovering over my wrist, ready to cut fairly deep when Connor succeeded in kicking the door in.

Connor is panting with watery eyes, and I feel bad that he got hurt because of me.

"Don't you ever do that again!" Evan shouts, grabbing my cheeks with both hands and pulling me to his eye level.  
"Do you fucking understand me!"   
I nod frantically through my sobs and Evan hugs me tightly.   
"Don't think we don't love you for even a second. You hear me?" He whispers and I grip the back of his shirt.

"I kicked down a door for you love." Connor adds and I laugh shakily.  
"I'm so-"  
"Don't apologize." Evan says and kisses my cheek.  
I nod again and slump against my boyfriend and he holds me up with ease.

"Hey Jared," Connor's using his Evan just had a panic attack™ voice, "How about we cuddle, and then Ev and I can make dinner?" He puts a hand on my cheek and smiles weakly.  
"YeAH." My voice spikes and cracks. I cough into my hand to clear my throat.  
"Yeah, Yeah, that sounds good." 

My eyelids feel heavy and Evan brushes his hand through my hair.  
"From now on, I'm going to tell you I love you whenever I get the chance, M'Kay?" Evan smiles sweetly and gives me another kiss.  
"Me too." Connor says and grabs one of my hands.

I pull off my shoes, and one sock has blood over the toes. Evan kisses my cheek and promises to look at it after we take a nap.  
They lead me over to the bed and let me sleep in the middle. Evan grabs something from under the bed and Connor gasps.  
"Ev! You said we lost that fuzzy blanket!"   
Evan is holding said blanket, and I vaguely remember him saying it disappeared.

Ev blushes and wraps it around me.  
"I was... Saving it."   
Connor rolls his eyes.   
"Yeah, saving it. Sure."  
Despite being a little miffed that Evan hid The Best Blanket in the World™, Connor still helps wrap it around me. 

I lean back into Con's chest and Evan wraps his arms and legs around me. He leaves little kisses along my neck and Connor watches with a soft almost purr in his throat.

"Hey guys?" I whisper, Evan shoots up and Connor tenses.  
"Yeah J?"  
"What's up Jared? Are you okay-"  
"I need to pee." I say blatantly and Evan stops and starts to laugh.  
"Jesus babe, you really scared me there for a second." Connor chuckles and releases his arms from my middle.

"I mean, I need to, but I kinda don't want to get up." I snuggle deeper in the soft cocoon and Connor snorts.  
"Do I need to carry you to the bathroom?" He asks, and I turn my head to look at him.  
"Could you?" I whisper and Connor's eyebrows raise. Then he sighs and puts one arm under my knees and another on the small of my back.

"Alright you big baby, I'll carry you." He smiles and stands up and I quickly wrap my arms around his neck. Evan stands as well, and smiles at us both.  
"I'll be in the kitchen if you need me." He kisses Connor and I and then turns the corner.

Con puts me down on the toilet seat and sits on the counter.  
"Uh, Connor?" He looks over at me.  
"Yes love?"   
"Could you, um, stand outside the door?"   
"Nope." He says with a little pop. "I'm not gonna leave you in here alone, when you were thinking about suicide no less than fifteen minutes ago." He sighs and turns around.

"Don't worry I won't look you weirdo, go before you piss yourself."

 

Con and I walk downstairs, and Evan's frantically spraying water on a burning pan. I tug the blanket tighter around my neck and face to block out the smoke.  
Connor sits me down onto a stool, then he goes over to help Ev with the burnt food.  
"What were you trying to make babe?" Connor asks as he scrapes whatever it was off the frying pan.  
"It was supposed to be fried rice, but I forgot to add water..." Evan winces and Connor waves it off and gives him a kiss.  
"It's okay, just grab the other bag and I'll make it. Oh! And get the left over chicken too."

I try to get up, and Evan pushes me back into my seat.  
"No." He says cheerfully and I glare at him.  
"I want to help." I pout and Connor smiles at me.  
"You can help by sitting there and looking pretty."   
I smile and fluff up my hair, "Well, I am very good at that."   
Evan kisses my cheek with a laugh and hands Connor the frozen food.  
"Thanks baby." Con says to him and Ev sits down on the stool beside me.

I lean my head on his shoulder, and he runs a hand through my hair.  
Connor speed walks over to the fridge and grabs the soy sauce from the door.  
"You and your salt deficiency." Evan giggles, and Connor looks absolutely scandalized. This must be something that happened before I started dating them.  
"Do not bring that up right now." He says with a hint of bitch under the half-threat. He pours a small amount of soy sauce in the pan with the rice.   
Evan turns to me and laughs.  
"He was sucking my-"   
"EV!" Connor shouts from the stove with a deep blush. Evan bites his lip to stifle another laugh.   
"No Con I wanna- pfffft -I wanna hear what Evan has to say," I giggle and Evan smiles innocently at Connor.

"We are not talking about this now." He says through gritted teeth.  
"We are talking about this now." I say back, with a very serious expression.   
Evan doubles over, and Connor frowns deeply.  
"I am going to poison your food." He offers, and ties up his hair into a bun.  
"You don't have the balls." I shoot back and Evan clutches my shoulder, and says very seriously,  
"No, Jare you've got it all wrong, I am the one with no balls." 

I shove him with a laugh and a large smile breaks out on his face. It's infectious.  
"I can't challenge Connor when I'm laughing Ev!" I sputter and Evan looks so fucking proud of himself.  
"God you suck." I say and Evan giggles again.  
"Ev don't you dar-" Connor starts only to be interrupted.  
"NO, CONNOR DOES."   
"EVAN I SWEAR TO GOD." Connor's flush is probably down to his chest.  
"I'm g-going to burn the food pleas-please talk ah-about   
s-something el-else!" He stutters with a red face.

I lean into Evan more and he kisses the top of my head.  
"I love you Jare." He whispers, and tears fill my eyes.  
"I lo-ove you too." I try my hardest not to cry,  
Evan tugs me closer and kisses the tears away.  
"Oh baby baby baby." He whispers, and almost pulls me onto his lap.  
"I love you Ev, So so much you don't even know." I sob and Evan smiles gently and wipes my eyes with his thumbs.  
"Connor and I feel the same way about you." 

I lean out of Evan's chest, and Connor's fidgeting at the stove.  
"I love you Con." I choke, and a lump builds in my throat. He seems to relax, and continues to stir the chicken into the rice.  
"I love you too Jare." That nickname always makes me smile.  
"Ditto!" Evan chirps happily. Connor snorts with laughter, and when he calms down he sighs,  
"Love you too Ev. you fucking nerd." He whispers the last part to himself.

Dinner is awesome, and I kiss Connor a bunch when we're on the couch as thanks. Evan presses into my side, and we watch some weird Netflix documentary until Evan falls asleep.  
Connor carries Ev upstairs, my hand is intertwined with Connor's and he tugs me along. He sets Evan down on the mattress after pulling the sheets back and I yawn. Connor smiles and nudges me toward the center of the bed.

I curl up between them and Connor gives me light kisses until I fall asleep.


	4. WowWowWow Connor's a ho

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> You're Welcome.  
> I have no clue when this is, it's probably a couple days before or after Chapter 3 
> 
> Also If you like Conman then today is your day

The next slap is bruising and it burns across the back of my thighs.   
"You're so naughty babe."  
Slap  
"You sat in here, all naked and needy."  
Slap  
"Waited with a plug inside you..."  
Slap  
"And begged me to hit you?"  
Slap  
"Precious."   
Slap   
Slap   
Slap

"Evan!"   
Evan tugs my hair and slaps me again, leaving a bright red mark over where the plug is.  
"Did I say you could speak?"  
I bite my lip.  
"That's right, I didn't. Apologize."  
"I'm sorry Sir." I whisper and Evan smirks and kisses me.  
"Better, now be a good boy and fuck yourself with the toy while I watch."   
Slap  
"Fuck!" I cry out and rut back into his hand.

"Such a little slut." Evan chuckles and presses the plug in deeper. I keen and arch against the mattress.  
"Can you say it for me baby? Say 'I'm your little slut'" He whispers sweetly and I gasp for air.  
"I-I'm your little slut Sir." 

Evan grins widely.  
"Good job! You remembered your place." His hand massages my ass and he leans over my shoulder to whisper in my ear.  
"I think you've earned a little treat hmm?"   
I nod and immediately remember his rules on confirming verbally.  
"Y-yes. Yes please S-Sir." I whisper and Evan grins widely again.  
His hands slip down to my thighs and he grips one in each hand and spreads them wider. It forces my back into an arch and my arms tremble. His hand gently traces the base of my dick and I shudder.

"You're being so good for me, Are you sure you want me to continue hitting you later?" He whispers and I nod.  
"Yes please, please spank me I really want it Sir."

"Wow."

We both turn and Jared is standing in the doorway with a loosened tie and a smirk.  
"Am I interrupting something?"  
Evan smiles and beckons him closer.  
"Not at all love, C'mere so I can kiss you."  
Jared happily complies and leans in for a messy kiss.  
Evan pulls him onto the bed and smiles at his flush. Ev takes his glasses off, folds them, and places them on the nightstand. He loosens his tie more, and Jared blushes.  
"W-What's the occasion?" He asks with raised eyebrows.

"No occasion, Just found him laying on the bed begging to be fucked." Evan purrs and Jared flushes brighter.  
"Oh." He whispers and scans my body.  
"Wait, Why is your ass so red..." He asks with raised eyebrows and I bury my face in my arms.  
"He said He 'needed to get spanked, please hit me Sir.'" Evan fake moans to mock me, and snickers at Jared's shocked arousal. The tips of my ears burn bright red and Evan's fingers trail down the underside of my dick and I moan.

"Good boy~ Now, I believe I was promised a show baby," He whispers sweetly and presses the plug deeper.  
"Can you keep to your word?"

I nod and reach a hand down to tug the toy out and push it back in. Jared and Evan watch with hungry eyes as I slowly fuck myself.  
"Ev-Evan." I gasp, and Evan smirks.   
"You wish it was me fucking you babe?" He whispers and runs his fingers down my side. I nod and Jared smiles fondly.  
"You guys are too cute together," Jare smiles wider as he says this, then he pins me with a hot stare and I can't move.  
"I could just eat you both up."

I shiver and thrust the plug in harder.  
"Please." I whimper and Evan snickers.  
"I'll help you if you do something for me." Evan smiles and I thrust it in faster. I can't reach my prostate and I mewl every time it misses.

"Anything," I shudder. "Oh god anything, please Sir I'm dying." 

"I'm dying Scoob." Jare whispers and him and Evan double over in laughter.   
I let go of the toy to whack Jared with my hand, but it slips in deeper and I cry out in surprise.  
"Ev, God fuck please I can't, I need to come you've been teasing me for hours." It looks like a lightbulb goes off in Evan's head, and he grabs Jared and pushes him toward me.

"How about, We let Jared fuck you?" Evan says cheerfully, and Jared looks like a deer caught in headlights.  
"Oh f-fuck please Jare." I whine and he blushes hard.  
"I-um are you sure? I'm not the- uh- the biggest." He stutters and I moan frustratedly.  
Evan laughs. "Jare, I have no dick, it doesn't matter if yours isn't above average. My real one is literally a centimeter." Ev wraps his arms around Jared's shoulders as he laughs, and Evan gives him a small kiss on the cheek.

"Uh okay, I guess, but if I disappoint you, don't say I didn't warn you." Jared kisses my cheek and I flip myself around and tug him down on top of me.   
We kiss messily while Ev strips Jared. Evan lightly slaps my thigh, and I shriek and lock eyes with him.  
"Do you still want me to, while he fucks you?" He asks sweetly. 

The image of Evan spanking me while Jared is fucks me is too good to pass up.

"Yes please." I mewl and Evan smirks again. Evan grabs the little plug and slowly pulls it out of me, occasionally thrusting it back in or twisting it. It pops out with a lewd sound.   
I mewl pitifully and Evan strokes me as an apology.  
"Jare he's already prepped, I think you should give him what he wants."   
Jared shifts uncertainly, and Evan nudges him lightly between my legs.   
I wrap my thighs around his hips and tug him closer with my arms around his neck.

I kiss behind his ear and moan,  
"Jared, please."   
He blushes and I tug his boxers down forcefully.  
Evan watches with a wicked grin, and he says   
"Jared, be careful he might ride your dick hard enough to break it." Evan's not being serious, but Jared still looks fairly worried.  
Jare's eyes widen, and I spit into my hand and start to stroke him quickly.

"Ah! Con, I might come, be careful!"   
I smirk, and look him in the eyes and try to convey what I'm feeling.  
"Either way you're still gonna fuck me baby." I purr.  
Jared shivers and I pull him closer. I wiggle my hips until the tip is pressed against me, and struggle to get him deeper.  
Evan smiles, "Here, let me help you." He gently shoves Jared when he says 'Help' and the head of his dick pops inside.

Hot pain flares up from my hole and I struggle not to move too much. I drag my nails along Jared's back and scratch it up badly.   
"F-Fuck." I whimper and Jare locks eyes with me.  
"What? What's wrong?" He whispers gently.  
"You're huge." I hiss and dig my nails into his shoulder blades harder. Jared blushes and kisses me gently.

"And you're tight." He says with little kisses pressed against my cheeks.  
"Hm, isn't he?" Evan says dreamily and presses a hand against my dick.  
"Fuck!" I gasp for air and Ev strokes harder.   
"He always clenches so hard on my cock. It slips out a little bit because he's so tight. I'll bet that feels really good around you huh?" Evan purrs and Jared nods.  
"God it feels amazing. Con I need to top you more often." 

I blush and jerk my hips up. He slips in a little more and I hiss in pain and pleasure.  
"Y-you should fuck Ev too, if you think I'm tight, then you've got another thing coming." Pun intended.  
Evan flushes and leans over to kiss Jared's neck.  
"Shit!" Jared moans and Ev and I both look over at him again with matching smirks. I think that's my favorite place on our boyfriend. Evan slides his teeth over his pulse and Jared's hips jerk, and another inch or so pushes into me.

"J-Jared~ More please."   
He looks up in shock, and presses in deeper.   
"A-Ah!" I cry out and Jared runs his hand through my hair.  
"Baby, Baby, just a little more. It's okay, almost there." He whispers sweetly and tears well up in my eyes.

"Holy shit, babe do you want to stop?" He says softly and I shake my head quickly.  
"Jare, he cries sometimes when he gets overwhelmed. He's okay, You'll use your safe word if it hurts right Con?" Evan punctuates his words with a kiss to Jared's cheek.  
"Yeah, Yeah, I will." I promise, and wrap my hands around the back of his neck.   
"Mm fuck Con~" Jared bites his lip, and leans his weight forward.

"JARED!" I screech and feel his hips press flush against me.  
"Good?" He whispers and I nod through my sobs.  
"Yeah, Mm God- Jare feels so good."   
"Okay..." He says gently, "You'll still tell me if it hurts?"   
"YES, YES I'LL TELL YOU GOD JUST FUCK ME ALREADY!"  
Jared winces at the volume and shoves himself in deeper, letting me feel all of him. I sob with relief and jerk my hips up.  
"Please, Please, more." I cry and Jared still looks worried. He pulls out until it's just the tip inside me, and then he pushes back in. Slowly. So slow, I feel myself going numb. No, that won't do.

I lean over and bite his neck hard enough that it probably hurt.   
"Holy shit Connor!" Jared whimpers and presses in deeper, his tip grazes my prostate, and I shout in surprise. Jare is fairly small and it caught me off guard.   
He's so thick though, and I can feel myself struggle and twitch around him.   
"Jared, Jared, Jared, Jared..." I continue to ramble his name as his dick only just brushes my sweet spot. 

"Hey Jare, I think you found his prostate." Evan hums amusedly.  
"R-Really?" Jared says in shock. I wrap myself around him like an octopus, and I try to get him in deeper.  
Almost.... There......  
"FUCK!" More tears spill from my eyes, the head pressed into my prostate directly, and I twitch around him. 

"Wow," Evan says in a dreamy voice.  
"He's barely keeping you in. I can see him squeezing so hard, does it hurt?" He murmurs to Jared.   
"No, it feels so good. God he's so fucking tight," Jared shivers and thrusts in faster.  
"Fuck fuck fuck fuck!" I feel blood rise under my nails as I shakily rip up his back.  
It doesn't seem to bother him. 

SLAP

The sound echoes, and I feel the burn in the shape of a hand against the back of my left thigh.   
"Ev-Evan!" I moan and he smirks.  
"Yeah, did that feel good baby?"   
Slap  
"Did you like that?"   
Slap

I nod with a weak "Yes," and tears spill from my eyes hotly. Jared thrusts faster and moans loudly.   
"Mmmm Con fuck so good." His thighs are shaking, and I grip his hair tightly to avoid hurting his back more.  
He thrusts faster, and Evan starts hitting my other thigh.   
My rambling gets louder and more incoherent, and Evan chuckles whenever I moan.  
"Are you close baby?" Jared moans and I nod biting my lip.  
Evan hits me a little harder this time, and orders Jared to tug on my hair. 

The pain shoots to my dick and I hiss and moan.  
"Use your words, love." Evan sings and repeats Jared's question.  
"Are you close?" 

"Yesyesfuck I'm gonna come please!" Jared thrusts harder and faster and lets out a weak moan of pain.  
"Are you okay baby?" Evan murmurs to Jared and he whines.  
"Fuck, this feels awesome, but my stomach is sore." I weakly grip his shoulders and try to flip us. Jared leans back helpfully, onto Evan's chest, and I lift myself up and down as quickly as I can. My thighs shake but I do. not. give. a. single. fuck.   
"Jesus babe." Jared breathes out in surprise.

This angle is perfect, and he jabs my sweet spot with every thrust.  
"O-Oh my fucking God." I gasp and Evan chuckles,  
"Feel good?"   
"Yesohmygod- Jared!" I shiver and Jared moans when I ride him faster.  
"I'mgonna-" Jared hisses and gets cut off by his own orgasm. The warmth fills me up and I realize this is the first time anyone has come inside me. It shocks me into my own orgasm, and my eyes roll into the back of my head and I shout.

"Babe look." Jared snickers and I open my eyes to find my come on his face.   
"Fuck." I whisper. I've never got that far before. Jared licks it off his lips and winks teasingly at me.  
Evan laughs, "New record huh?" Evan moves from behind Jared and smiles sweetly at me. Jared wipes his face on the sheets.  
"Are you okay for another round Con?" His voice is like honey, and he presses a finger against where Jared and I are connected. 

"Um, if you're planning to fuck me, I don't think I'll be able to handle it." I whisper and Evan smiles.  
"I was gonna sit on your face, but I guess I'll just finger myself or something?" Evan says quietly and rubs my shoulder blades. The unspoken question in Evan's eyes  
'Are you too burnt out?'

"Nononono I mean, I uh I guess you can-"   
Evan smiles wider and presses kisses to my cheek and nose. I pull myself up off of Jared, and feel his come drip out of me. I grimace, and Jare smirks amusedly.  
Evan pushes me down onto the bed and sits on my chest.

"You sure you want me? And not Jared?"   
Evan's eyebrow quirks up.  
"Why wouldn't I want you?" He says, genuinely confused, and I gesture to all of our boyfriend.

"Because he's the best at- You know," I flush embarrassedly and Evan smiles.  
"Just shut up and blow me Murphy." Evan says confidently and sits on my mouth.  
Jared laughs at my frozen expression and sits up on his elbows so he can watch.

I flush darker and try to imitate what I've seen Jared do. Long sweeps up, a kiss to his dick, a nibble here and there. I try everything, and Evan moans occasionally but he mostly laughs and tangles his hands in my hair to guide me.  
"You're right you do suck at this." He giggles and I feel something akin to shame bloom in my chest. He pulls me down further and I follow obediently. 

I find myself at his entrance, and Jared is at my side.  
"Push your tongue inside and swirl it against his G spot. He likes that a lot." Jared says and I try to follow his directions.  
Evan whines and I fumble a little bit in surprise.  
"Connor you're doing so well, Good boy."   
Fuck.  
I flick my tongue upwards and hurriedly try to follow his instruction.  
"Press a finger in too." Jared says and Evan moans loudly.

I do as he says immediately, and Ev shakes all over. I alternate between my mouth and my finger, and Evan grips my hair again. He pulls me off of him, and explains that he's a bit overstimulated.  
"Please be gentle." He gasps for breath, and Jared snickers and leans in to whisper to me.

"Don't listen to him, push two fingers inside him, and suck on his cock." He leaves with a soft kiss to my earlobe.  
I thrust my fingers and suck hard.   
"CONNOR!" He screams. Loud. My chin is wet and his thighs clamp around my face. I gesture for my shortest boyfriend to come back, but he looks at me as if it say  
'You're on your own.'

I grip his thighs and pull him closer and kiss his dick almost sweetly, and he starts shaking again.  
"O-oh My god." He moans, and grinds against my mouth. Jared's got a little smirk, and he should be cocky, because damn is he a good teacher. I slip my tongue deeper inside him, and twist it side to side.   
"Mm, Con I'm so close baby." He purrs and practically fucks my face.  
"You're so good~" He moans, and Jared moves closer and kisses Evan sweetly.

"That's because I'm great at teaching." He snickers and Evan chases his lips.  
"You really are." Ev whispers against his lips and wraps an arm around Jared's waist. They kiss, well more like Evan smashes his face against Jared's, shaking with moans while Jared gently kisses back.  
Their noses bump and Evan bites Jared's bottom lip. It's almost like he's angry at him.

I slip my tongue in and out and Evan grips my shoulders and his nails bite into my skin.  
"Connor I'm coming!" He whines and suddenly my mouth and chin are flooded. I swallow, and it's not particularly good or bad, it's just salty and musky. 

I always swallow. I've just found it's easier than having to look for a condom or somewhere to spit it out. Jare doesn't like it, but if I'm at the back of his throat he doesn't complain. (He does usually swallow for Ev but that's because he wants Evan to feel comf) And Evan hates it. With a passion. He will make us wear a condom or he 'swears to god he will never blow us again'.

"Con that was so good." He whines and grinds against my face a few more times to emphasize his point. I hum and he inhales sharply. He gets up off my chest with shaky legs and Jared helps him sit back down on the mattress.  
I remember Jared's come is still.... In me.

"Do you guys want to take a bath?" I ask with a red face and Jared sputters with laughter.  
"Getting uncomfortable babe?" Jare snickers, and nudges me with a smirk.

"Yeah a little bit." I say with a grimace and Evan runs a hand through my hair.   
"Awwww baby. We can take a bath."   
I purr lightly and Jared laughs obnoxiously.  
"What?" Ev and I ask.  
"Connor's a furry!" He laughs even louder and completely doubles over.  
"Oh my good god Jare." I hiss, and Evan kisses me gently.  
"C'mon it was kinda funny." He smiles and I frown.

Jared scoots over and hugs me tightly. "I was kidding babe." He snickers. "It's cute,"   
Once Jared releases me, Evan leans over and sweeps me right off the bed. My legs awkwardly scramble, and I wrap my arms around him. Jared laughs at me again, and races ahead of us to the bathroom to turn on the tap. 

I bought this apartment (well it's more of a townhouse) because of the big bathroom. It has a nice porcelain claw footed bathtub, that can easy fit two of us without any clashing limbs. Three of us is a bit difficult, but if you don't move too much it's pretty comfortable.

Jared laughs at me getting cradled and Evan sits me in the slowly filling tub. Ev joins me, and then grabs Jared's hand and tugs.  
'Come on.'  
Jare clambers in awkwardly, his legs bumping against mine. He puts his thighs around me, and Evan hugs his knees to his chest. 

It's amazing that Jared's.... You know, is still there even though I've been carried, jostled around, and then placed in water.  
"I um. Don't know how to go about this?" I whisper and Jared looks at me quizzically.  
"How to go about what?" Evan asks.  
"To get it, you know out." I say uncomfortably, and Jared chuckles.  
"I think you have to stick your fingers in." Jared hums, and Evan nods.  
"Yeah I think I saw that in porn once." My small boyfriend agrees and I flush hard. Why does Evan have to talk so casually about porn?!??   
You'd think his anxiety would stop him. Hahahahahahahah n o.  
"What!" I shriek in disbelief.

"I'll think you'll have to finger yourself baby." Jared says again, like I hadn't heard the first time.  
"Uh um what, I-I,"   
"If you won't, I will." Evan giggles, and my ears burn.  
I gingerly press the tip of my finger against my hole and shiver. The spike of pain travels through my body, I'm tighter than usual, and our lube is not water proof.  
I pull the finger away immediately.

"I think I'll just... Live with it." I sigh and Evan turns me around.   
"Ev! What are you doing?!?" He pushes my face into Jared's chest and Jare wraps his arms around my back.  
Evan presses his tongue inside me without warning and I yelp.   
He hums and thrusts it in and out quickly.  
I whine because it's slightly uncomfortable. I'm so fucking sore, I'll definitely need to prep myself longer, Jared is too big. I wiggle, trying to get away.  
Jared just holds me tighter, and Evan presses his mouth in harder. Effectively trapping me.  
"F-Fuck." I sob and Jared kisses the tears out of my eyes.

Evan's middle finger gently joins his tongue and I cry a little harder. It doesn't hurt that much, I'm just completely overwhelmed. Ev pulls his mouth off me.  
"It's okay, it's almost gone baby." Evan soothes. Jared brushes my hair down against my back. Ev presses back inside.  
His finger crooks down towards my stomach and he drags it out slowly. It stretches me uncomfortably, and I sob.   
"Jeez Jare, you shot it so deep." Evan comments and Jared blushes hard.  
"I'm never letting you come inside me again." I whimper and Jared rubs my back.

"I'll be sure to wear a condom next time." He soothes and Ev thrusts in deeper.   
"How about," Evan starts, "Next time, we just don't wait this long. Then he won't be as sore."  
I grip Jared's shoulders and moan. He presses a second finger inside, and he hums.  
"We're almost done love." Evan whispers and I wiggle in Jared's lap.  
Evan stretches his fingers one more time and then pulls them out.  
Evan pulls both Jared and I into his chest and Ev rubs my back like Jared had been doing earlier. 

"Fuck." I whisper and Jared kisses me with a giggle.  
"Watch your language." 

Evan washes my hair and Jared helps rinse. My bones feel like jelly, and my eyes fall lower and lower as time passes.  
"Falling asleep babe?" Jared hums and Evan giggles.  
"I think he is,"   
I wrap my arms around Jared's shoulders, and run my hands over the scratches I left on his back. My eyes snap open and I look at Jare.

"Holy shit baby, why didn't you say anything?" I whisper.  
Jared looks at me in surprise, and his eyebrows furrow.  
"What do you mean?"  
"These scratches are so deep, these must of hurt love." I gently run a hand across his shoulder blades. He shrugs.  
"They don't."   
I press gentle fingers along the huge bite mark I left and he whimpers.  
"Ugh but that does." He hisses, and I kiss his cheek sweetly.  
"M sorry baby." I whisper and he wraps his arms around me.   
"It's okay, I liked it." 

I kiss him for a little longer, then turn around in Jared's arms.  
"Ev how are you? Sore muscles? Bite marks?" I ask and Evan looks shocked.  
"I uh, no I'm fine, well I mean I do have a small cramp in my thigh but that's nothing compared to what you guys just went through." Evan mumbles quickly beneath his breath and I reach over to rub his waist.  
"Which thigh?"   
"The left one," He replies instantly and then backtracks, "But I- you don't have to help me, I'll be fine I'll just-" 

I dig my knuckles into his thigh and Evan hisses. Moving my hand in circles, I ask, "Where am i going babe?"   
"It's uh, it's like, two inches higher than where you are right now? But damn do I love your hands." He breathes and I kiss him to muffle his slightly pained moans.   
I move up in slow circles and he grunts in pain.  
"Right there?" I ask, and he nods.  
"Fuck." He moans and I feel something loosen in his leg.  
"Better?"   
"Yeah oh my god." Ev breathes out and stretches his leg slightly.

Then he turns to me with a smile.  
"How's your ass?" He asks casually. I blush and turn around to hide in Jared's neck.  
" 'S fine." I mutter and Jare's hands reach around to prod at the bruised skin.  
"Ouch Jare." I hiss and he rubs soothingly.  
"Sorry baby. Hey Ev, don't you guys have a special lotion or something for after you rock Connor's world?" Jared asks and Evan giggles.  
"Yeah, actually it's in the bedroom. I'll get it after."

I help wash them, and Jared carries me back to our room.

'Jare you should carry Evan instead,'   
'Babe you'd collapse if you tried standing right now.'  
'...'

He sets me down on my stomach, and Evan sits behind me with the lotion. Jared lays next to me and kisses my cheek and runs his hand through my hair. Ev pours some of it into his hands and rubs it between them to spread it around and warm it up.

"Ready?" He asks, and I nod, hitting Jare in the mouth with my hair. Jared spits it out and frowns at me and I smile. His frown melts instantly and he kisses my nose with a fond smile.  
Evan's hands are gently rubbing my backside, and I can feel him paying more attention to the darker marks. Those ones definitely hurt the most.   
I love aftercare and being pampered but a part of me hates not being able to take care of my boys.   
I whimper and whine whenever Evan runs the lotion over one of the pulsating hand prints. Jared kisses and hugs me close whenever I cry out.  
It ends just as soon as it started and I stretch out along the bed. Evan and Jared make out for a little bit until my sleepy, almost drunk brain decides the attention should be back on me.

"Babes...." I whine and curl up into a ball.   
"Okay okay, Con we're here." Evan giggles and spoons me from behind. Jared steps over me and wraps his legs around my hips. Then he brushes the hair out of my eyes and smiles lovingly.  
"Are you okay?" He asks, with a small kiss to my cheek. I nod dopily and turn to Evan after sharing a soft kiss with Jare.  
"Can I have the blanket?" My words slur together and Evan smiles and kisses me.  
"Of course love," He says and pulls it over me.  
I feel like I'm being dragged under and my eyes flutter shut.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The phrase "Evan Hansen likes Bad Boys." Can work so many different ways :)


	5. The Boys are Back in Town

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Hey Big update and Big mood  
> Also Anxiety attack and light angst toward the end so if that's not your thing skip when they're cuddling on the couch. Also that guy flirting with Ev in the park? Same.  
> Hey it deleted my beginning cause AO3 is a dicc. I had to write a new one sorry it's not as good.

I pout and lay back on the bed. What kind of dick bag in the sky decided that both of my boyfriends can't be home with me today?  
"Where the hell are my boys." I growl and scream into the pillow as loud as I can.

My phone pings again and I untangle myself from the blankets to snatch it off the desk as quick as possible.

From : Jare Bear >:0!!!  
Hey Con, I've got good news!

To : Jare Bear >:0!!!  
Are you coming home early?!? 

From : Jare Bear >:0!!!  
Pfft no I wish.

"Oh." I frown deeply and wait for his next text. What could be better news than him coming home, spooning, eating Chinese food, and then falling asleep to a movie?!? Our routine!

[Jare Bear >:0!!!] is typing...

From : Jare Bear >:0!!!  
I'll tell you when I get home

To : Jare Bear >:0!!!  
Y can't you tell me now?!?!? 

From : Jare Bear >:0!!!  
Suspense, My love, Suspense

To : Jare Bear >:0!!!  
I hate you. >:(

From : Jare Bear >:0!!!  
;) love you too Con

Goddamnit Kleinman. What the hell am I gonna do while I wait for my boyfriends?

Cut all the sleeves off my shirts? Mm... pass Evan would kill me.

Watch Tv?  
Yeah but what the fuck would I watch, Tv's so boring nowadays.

I can't eat, because it's takeout day and I want to save space for that.

Already took a shower today...

Ping!

Is that Evan or Jared?!?

You have mail!

"Fuck you." I mutter to my phone angrily and open the notification.

PinkCherry's Big Summer Blow Out!

20% off on all Products! 

What the fuck is this?  
I scroll down and immediately close the email with a red face. Oh right... I subscribed to them.  
I open it back up and slowly scroll down, and I am greeted with pictures of vibrators and dildos of many different colors. And a discount for lingerie that I simply cannot live without.

 

Hey, that's something to pass the time.

No no no shut up! I can't masturbate! Evan and Jared are going to be home any minute!

Isn't that all the more reason to?

Well yes and no, they'll probably just want to cuddle or something, I don't want to bother them.

Has your sex drive bothered them before?

No....

There you go. Have at it.

 

"Why do I have to be so convincing? I always end up doing things I shouldn't." I grumble even as I'm shimmying my pants down my hips. I place my phone face down on the nightstand.

 

Hey speaking of dildos your favorite one is in the drawer next to you. Remember when Ev put it there for 'safe keeping?' 

 

Sure enough, there it is in the drawer when I open it. The bright color of the silicone seems to mock me as I study it in my hands.  
I flush hotly and set it beside my leg.  
I rummage around in the drawer for lube with one hand while the other pulls off my shirt. 

The small bottle of lube is half empty.

That is not going to be enough, considering the size of the dildo. Reluctantly, I get up and walk over to the closet. There's a set of drawers that Ev uses for strap ons and boxes and boxes of condoms because,  
'Safety is important Connor!'

There is a tub of cinnamon flavored lube Jare bought as a joke, but I'm considering using it.  
Will the cinnamon burn me? I mean it's not real cinnamon so I guess it should be okay....  
I grab the bottle and shuffle back over to the bed. My cheeks burn in embarrassment even though I have no reason to be embarrassed. I lay back on my bed and kick the covers away with my feet.

After pouring some of the lube into my hand, I lick it to test the artificial flavoring. It smells like spices so it should also taste like it..

For joke-lube bought by Jared Kleinman, it's not that bad. I mean I wouldn't want to drink it, but it's a lot better than what we (Evan) would usually buy.  
(Bubblegum flavor? Ev are you serious???)  
After coating my fingers, I press one lightly at my entrance.

"Oh fuck." I moan and push it all the way in. I quickly pump it for a minute before adding my middle finger. The burn makes me moan louder and I pant, and try not to think about what I must look like.

Okay all I need now is a really good fantasy...

-  
"Connor, are you ready?" Evan purrs and leans the tip against my entrance.  
"Y-yeah." I whimper and Evan smiles, and puts his hand on my cheek.  
He moves forward slowly, and pauses if I look uncomfortable. When he bottoms out, he moves side to side to test how loose I am.  
I am the opposite of loose and the dildo stretches me uncomfortably.

"Evan! Be careful!" I scream and Ev stops and pets my hair.  
"Okay, okay I'll be careful love." He smiles softly and kisses all over my face.  
"How many are you at right now?" He asks and I flush and wrap myself around him.  
"Three."  
"Let's see if we can get to seven shall we?"  
"Seven?!?" I choke on my spit, Evan grins and twists a strand of my hair on his finger.  
"Yeah, Gonna break you." He sighs out breathily and he leans his weight forward.

"B-but that's not even possible!" I whine and Evan smirks.  
"It is, I'll just have to fuck you till you pass out on my cock." Ev starts thrusting as fast as my body will let him and I squeal in pain and pleasure.  
-

"Baby I'm sorry I took so lo-" Jared stops and stares blankly at me, naked on the bed, bouncing on a dildo, and whimpering for Evan.

"U-uh. This is all an illusion." I stutter and Jared cracks up.  
"Jared stop laughing at me!" I whine and Jare struts over.  
"Dude you have the sex drive of a rabbit." He giggles and I start to lift myself up off of the toy.

"I-I'm sorry I just-"  
He puts his hands on my shoulders and shoves me back down on it with a teasing smile.  
"I didn't say that was a bad thing." He snickers and my thighs shake as I try to close them. Jare spreads them again and smirks.

"What were you thinking about?" He whispers hotly as he sucks a hickey into my jaw.  
"Uh." I say dumbly and his left hand wraps itself around my dick.  
"C'mon Con I know you can do it. Tell me~" He chirps and I have to swallow a couple times.

"I-um I was thinkin' bout Evan fucking me." I mumble and Jare squeezes my dick tightly on the way up.  
"Yeah no duh, but give me the details!" Jared pouts. He's acting like a teenager that wasn't let in on the gossip.  
"U-um one time-" I stutter,  
"This one time at band camp." Jared interrupts, and I would be frowning if I wasn't reeling from being full.  
"Okay, sorry go on." Jare giggles.

"One-Once Evan, he um, he did this awesome thing- andhemademecomeseventimesinarow." My hips jerk up, and Jared presses them back down with his hand making me whine.  
"Wow, what'd he do that made you that turned on?" Jare sounds genuinely interested and I have to swallow the spit in my mouth again.

"Oh god Jare it was so good he was like magic you don't even know." I shiver and that night flashes behind my eyes.

-  
"Hey Connor do you want to try something?" I kiss him chastely.  
"What?"  
"What if, and you don't have to, but what if, after you came, I didn't stop?" He delivers this slowly, and precisely. I clench around his fingers, my back arches, and I squeal.  
That was an embarrassing sound.  
"Awwwwww Con!" Evan giggles and I flush, I wish I could sink into the mattress.

"Con my love I need you to loosen up, my fingers are stuck." He sighs and I force myself to relax. Ev resumes thrusting, and smiles wickedly.  
"How big do you want me to be tonight?" He purrs and I can't think, it feels like my head is full of cotton.  
"U-um, do you still have the one from our one year Anniversary? The one that vibrates?" I lick my lips and push back into his fingers.

"Is that the one you want?" Evan whispers amusedly into my ear, and then he sucks a hickey behind it.  
"Yes! Yes god please Ev!"  
-

"Yeah?" Jared whispers, absolutely intrigued now, and judging by that gleam in his eyes, he won't stop asking questions until he hears everything.  
"Yeah," I moan and try to continue what I was doing before.  
"No no no, tell me more, then you can fuck yourself." Jare wags a finger in my face, treating me like a child.  
"Suck my ass, Let me get off." I hiss, Will he never give me a break? Why are him and Ev so interested in not giving me what I want?

Jared smiles and snarks,  
"Maybe later, but first tell me about how he blew your brains out."  
I frown at him and whine, "Why do you need to know?"  
He presses a hand against my dick threateningly.  
"Boyfriend privileges... And, I want to know your greatest weakness." 

"Here's what Evan did, He pretended to be your mom. Woah what a concept, now let me go Jare." I buck up again and the head of the dildo grazes something too deep. And frankly? It's uncomfortable.  
"Hahaha very funny. What did he really do? C'mon, it's just me, you don't have to be embarrassed." He gets eye level with me and smirks. 

"Choke on a dick Kleinm-" "If you insist." He hums and gets on his hands and knees.  
Suddenly he's deep throating me and swallowing rhythmically. I grip the sheets on my sides and almost fall backwards. My thighs and stomach shake as I hold myself up, and Jared smirks crookedly around my dick. He looks up at me through his lashes and winks, then takes me deeper.

"J-Jared!" I mewl and Jare takes that as a cue to pull off. He pushes his glasses up and smirks at me.

"What did Evan do to make you come seven times?" He repeats with an innocent smile like he wasn't just swallowing my dick.  
I grip his hair and try to push him back down but he pulls away completely. He wraps a hand helpfully around me, but doesn't budge other than that.  
"I'll keep sucking you off if you tell me~"  
"He just kept going and didn't stop until I was coming dry!" I try to pull his amazing mouth back but he looks even more interested than before.

"Woah really? Hot, what else did he do?" Jare's hand slides up and down my dick faster and he looks me in the eyes.  
"H-He made me fuck a fleshlight-" Jared's thumb catches the tip, "Jare please!"  
"Aw, Babe you're so cute right now. Absolutely precious." He muses, "Is this why Ev fucks your brains out all the time?" Jare's voice is low and teasing and I nod frantically.  
"Yes! And that's what you should be doing to me," His other hand trails up to my chest and tweaks my nipple. "AH! R-Right now. You should- Ohgodplease." 

"Mmmmm..." Jared hums as if considering it, "Okay, why not. I have nothing better to do."  
I glare at him and he snickers.  
"Hey has Ev ever made you touch yourself in front of him?" Jared asks randomly, and I nod with a flushed face.

"Nice." He sighs and kisses me breathless.

–––––––––––––––––––––––––––––––––  
Evan's POV  
–––––––––––––––––––––––––––––––––  
"Ethan! Over here, what kinda tree did you say it was?" A woman waves me over and I smile tightly.  
"It's Evan Ma'am, and I said it's a Redwood tree. We only have a few in this-" She waves me off.

"Yeah yeah okay honey that's great. Kids! Gather in front of the Reed Wood tree." The family of six squishes together and poses for a photo.

It's Redwood. I said that at least five times. My eye twitches.  
Keep it together Evan, this is your last tour of the day. Then you can lock up, and you can snuggle with your perfect boyfriends while Jared watches trash tv. And while Connor reads, maybe with his hair in a bun. 

SNAP

"Hey, I'm talking to you. Take us back to the entrance. We all want to leave this stupid park." A teen (?) with an undercut towers over me and I nod. He shoves his hands into his pocket threateningly.  
"S-Sure thing." My heart rate speeds up and my hands start to sweat. 

He's not looking at your hands Ev don't worry.

"God you're a fucking nerd," He looks me up and down and then smirks like he's pleased with what he finds.  
"Good thing you're cute though." He wraps his arm around my shoulders and smiles cockily.  
"How about I help you out? We could go back to my place." He purrs and I inch away from him.  
"Um, I-I'm sorry I have a boyfriend. And I'm like, like 20? and you're probably 17, well at least I think you are, so..." I trail off and he pushes closer.

"C'mon what's one night? Your boyfriend's not gonna know Beautiful, and I think you need to loosen up. I'll even let you top~" He sings and I smile forcefully and start leading the group towards the exit. We reach the main building and they split to their cars.

"I'm sorry, but my answer I-is still no. And thank you but I al-almost always top." Unfortunately...

He shrugs with a soft smirk.  
"Maybe next time Gorgeous." He pushes a lock of hair behind my ear, jumps onto a fucking motorcycle (a motorcycle!) and speeds away.  
Jesus.

It hits me that Connor used to have a bike when he was in highschool... Where did that go anyway? He looked hot with it. He thinks he didn't, but almost all the girls and guys had crushes on him.

"Is that Connor Murphy?" They'd sigh. "He's so cute." And then their friends would say, "Marie no, remember what happened with David? Why do you keep going after the bad boys?!?"  
"He's just so mysterious! And I want him to fuck me against the motorcycle during school hours. That would be so hot." 

Too bad for them that I was the only one who got that far. I clock out and smile at my reflection in the Employee of the Month plaque.  
After locking the doors and the gate, I get in my bright blue Prius, please don't hit me it used to be Zoe's, and I start driving home.

Someone yells at me for turning too quickly and I flush and yell Sorry out the window. They flip me off as they roll by. I park in our driveway and unlock the-

The door swings open, uh I guess Jare forgot to lock it again. I shut it, lock it properly, and put my keys in the bowl by the door.  
"Jared? Connor?"  
No one responds and I check my watch. It's 9:19. Are they not home? Are they out on a date without me? Oh god was I too late? Am I a bad boyfriend? What if-

"Up here," Jared calls with a weak voice and I ascend the stairs quickly.

The door hits the wall lightly when I open it and Jared and Connor are cuddling under the covers with matching dopey grins.  
"Are you guys high?" I ask and sniff the air.  
Connor shakes his head and stretches.  
"Nope, we just had mind blowing sex. And we both fantasized about you, C'mere~" Connor sighs and grabs me with his feet.

He pulls me down by the backs of my knees, and I end up almost head butting Con in the throat. Jare grabs my hand and kisses it with a smirk.  
"Connor wasn't lying, I think the entire neighborhood knows your name, we were both screaming it." Jared snickers and snuggles into Connor's side. I choke slightly and wrap myself around Con a little more.

I grow wet at the image and whimper. I will never get over this feeling, it's so weird, I'd rather get a boner in class than smell like wet dog and feel like a wet dog. Ugh.  
I wiggle in Connor's lap, and he and Jared both sit up.

"Aw is he making you hot?" Connor purrs and I nod.  
"You remember when you made me orgasm seven times?" He asks with a smirk, and I blush hotly.  
"Y-yeah?"  
"Well Jare said he wanted to try it." Connor snickers and Jared shrieks, "Con! I told you that mid-orgasm!"

I guess I'm dominant tonight huh? No biggie, I love topping my boyfriends. I just wish I could bottom sometimes. It's always Connor or Jared, and I feel a little left out.

I shift over to sit in front of him and smirk. "Yeah Jare? You want me to fuck the come out of you?" I purr each word slowly and card a hand through his hair. He doesn't shiver like he would usually, he moan-laughs. The sound is endearing.  
However it's like he's aroused by what I said, but it's as if I somehow missed the point.

"Jare wanted you to bottom my love." Connor says with a pat on my back and I squeak.  
"I-I what? You- Why- but Connor-" 

"Shhhhhhh Ev Baby," Jared says with a soft grin. "My love, my perfect sweet sweet Evan. Don't panic, if you don't want to you don't have to." Jare kisses me gently and wraps his arms around my waist tightly.  
"No!" I yelp and Connor's eyebrow quirks up in surprise.  
"No what babe? Color?" He asks and I shake my head.  
"Nononono I mean- I want to but that's not why I'm panicking, I'm panicking because I don't usually bottom, and I just thought like I dunno you guys preferred it if I topped all the time, Which! I don't mind, I just wish y'know-"  
"Evan, breathe." Jared's hands cup my cheeks and I inhale shakily.

"Good, alright, keep breathing love." He smiles and puts our foreheads together.

"No one said you had to top all the time dumbass!" Connor growls and Jare frowns at him disapprovingly. He continues shouting without a care.  
"It's 2017! It doesn't matter what you got in your pants, we love you and you can be in whatever position you want! You want to bottom? Literally jump on my dick. Why do you think I'll be mad? I love you, Why would I ever be mad for something like that?" Connor breathes for the first time and he grabs my hand and entwines our fingers together.  
I blush and hide in Jared's neck.

"And another thing-" Connor starts and Jared shushes him with a finger on his lips.  
"I think he gets it babe." Jare smiles and Connor flushes in embarrassment. Jared turns to me,  
"So what's the verdict? Do I get the honor of exhausting you mentally and physically?" Jared twirls my hair on a finger and panic stirs in my stomach.  
"Now?" I blink in fear and Jare laughs fondly.  
"Sorry my love, Connor basically broke my dick. I'm spent, I was thinking we should look at our schedules and stuff." He says this casually like it's not gonna give me wet dream material.  
I moan loudly and dig my nails into Jare's shoulders.

"So?" He asks with a smirk.  
"Oh fucking course goddamn Jared I wanna bottom to you all the time."  
Connor laughs at Jared's shocked face and then Jare sighs weakly.  
"Oh would you look at that, it revived itself." Connor snickers pointing at Jared's half hard dick.

Jared blushes and hugs me to his chest tightly.  
"Well my dick's not broken anymore?" He asks with a bright red face.  
"I-um, maybe another day? Like definitely soon, but like not today I don't really want to do that whole- thing today I'mreallyreallytired. I'm sorry."  
Jare frowns and kisses me softly. He catches my bottom lip and bites with a mischievous glint in his eyes.  
"Don't apologize Ev." 

Oh god he called me Ev, hurry my heart is melting.

Jare wraps his arms around my shoulders and smiles.  
"What do you want me to do Ev?" 

"B-but what about Con?" I ask and Connor waves lazily. He's laying on his back curled up with a satisfied grin under the comforter.  
"Keep going I'm loving this it's like real life Porn." Con smirks and waves a hand for us to continue.

Jared pushes my head down into Connor's lap and places a knee on each of my spread thighs to pin me down.  
"Hi." He purrs and I nod dumbly in response.  
"I-I mean, Hi." I blurt and Jared snorts.  
"Man you're such a dork. But you're our dork right Con?"  
Connor runs his hands through my hair.

"Oh yeah, you're never getting rid of us."  
Jared spends a really long time kissing me, giving me hickeys, and it's nice but he's not going any farther than my collar bone.

Which. Just won't do.

"Oh my god, Jare if you're gonna fuck me get on with it." I giggle and Jared smiles and pulls on my uniform.  
"Off?" He asks as if the answer wasn't obvious.

I pull my pants off and fling my shirt across the room. Jared moves to help me remove the bra and I shake my head. I haven't bottomed in a while. I don't want to look down and see that, it would completely ruin it for me.  
"You wanna keep it on?"  
I nod.  
"Okay love. But if you can't breathe use your safe word." I nod even though I probably won't have to.  
Jare unties the stupid bandana from around my neck and doesn't bother to remove my boots.

I tap his sides with them and he shrugs.  
"Too lazy to untie them, and they're kinda cute anyway so," Jare giggles and I tap the heels against his shoulder blades angrily.  
"I. am. not. wearing. boots. while. you. fuck. me." I growl and Jared blinks in surprise.  
He scoots back and starts uniting them quickly. I kick them off and he kisses from my knee to my inner thigh.

"Nice use of your Dom voice my love." Connor whispers amusedly in my ear.  
Connor and I laugh quietly and Jare pins us both with a dirty look. I throw my legs around Jared's hips and moan,  
"Please Jare, baby I need you." I palm myself through my boxers and whine.  
"Manipulative little...." Jared grumbles, slaps my hand away, and grabs the, 

Tub of Cinnamon flavored lube he bought as a gag gift?

"What the hell?" I ask and Connor snickers,  
"It's way better than yours. Mr. I buy pine-scented without shame." 

I blush and throw my knees up onto Jared's shoulders.  
"Please." I gasp and Jare pulls my boxers out of the way hastily.

Before I know it, there's a finger inside me and it's twisting and curving deliciously.  
I yelp/moan and Connor laughs fondly and tightens his arms around my waist.

"I had almost forgotten that you were a screamer."  
"So did I!" I moan, because holy fuck Jare's fingers are doing something amazing right now.

Hot pain sparks in my stomach and I whimper, "Jare. 'S too much." My words slur together. He put another in too soon.  
Jared's middle finger retreats and he apologizes,  
"Sorry baby."  
Connor cards his hand through my hair and hums a song I don't know.

Jared's thumb presses down and circles my dick and I squeak in surprise. He does that for a while and I can tell he's thinking about something.  
He presses his middle finger back in and they sit inside me until I adjust.  
"My handsome boy." Jared purrs under his breath and he spreads his fingers to stretch me wider. It stings considerably less than last time and I push my hips into his hand.

"Feel good?" Con asks and I moan breathily in response.  
"Amazing, I haven't bottomed in so long." I arch my back and whine, and Jared exhales loudly,  
"It's been too long."  
He nudges the tip of his third finger against my entrance silently. Jare and I meet eyes and I nod.  
"Please." I mewl, and he thrusts it in, quickly pumping and twisting his fingers to look for my g spot. 

"Sorry to say this baby, but you're going to need a lot of prep." Connor sighs into my ear and his hands dip down towards my hips.  
"How much? I want it now." I groan and grip the sheets.  
"Well, Con was squealing and crying when I finished fingering him. So I'd say four fingers." Jared reasons and a hand comes up to rub my thigh soothingly.

I press my heel into Jare's back and he tsks.  
"Do you want me to rip you open?" He says angrily and I nod.  
"Yes please." I moan and spread my legs wider. Connor swats me lightly on the arm and smirks against the back of my head.

"Don't antagonize him Ev, he might actually do it."  
"Fuck yeah I will if you keep spreading yourself like that!" Jared says sternly and twists his hand as a warning.  
I reach down to myself and use two fingers to open the lips and I whine like a pornstar.  
"Dad-" Connor slaps a hand over my mouth and when he laughs I can feel it reverberate along my back.

Jared's staring off into space with a deep blush and Con looks up to find he isn't laughing.  
"Oh my god Jare do you have a daddy kink?" Connor chuckles and Jared covers his face with one hand, getting redder by the second.  
"Maybe a little one?" He offers with a whine.  
I lick Connor's hand and he grimaces and rips it away.  
"Gross Ev."

"Daddy." I moan, testing it out, and Jared makes a surprised squeak/mewl.  
"Please fuck me I've been such a good boy for you." I wiggle my hips and he clears his throat.  
"Uh, damn right you have?" He says awkwardly and I snort.  
"You sound more awkward than me!" I giggle and Jared kisses me with a grumble.

"Hey not everyone can take control so easily like you can."  
"Just repeat what Evan's said to you before." Connor suggests and Jare's eyes narrow in confusion.  
"Jared no memes at the dinner table?" He says with a squinted far away look and Connor and I both laugh.

"That's cute Jare but no." I giggle, and he frowns.

"Brace yourself?" He asks and Connor smiles into my hair.  
I clear my throat,  
"Can I please have you? I'm getting impatient." 

Jared blushes and lightly smacks me. "No?"  
"If you're gonna deny me at least sound sure of it!" I smile encouragingly and Jared sighs and shakes his arms. When he reopens his eyes they're cold and merciless.  
"No, you can't." He says with a calm collected voice.  
"Why not?" I mewl, and I decide no, I'm not gonna call him that we'll talk about it later. I pout and Jared pinches my inner thigh.  
"Because I said so." He growls and I like this a lot more than I thought I would. I grind up against him and he scrambles to pin my hips to the mattress.

"I'll ride you? Please, I need it so bad." I moan and press my heel into his shoulder blade.  
"What a little slut," Jared purrs and a bright red mark appears on my hip. Jared, spanked me? On the hip? It stings and I cry out.  
"If you want it so bad you have to earn it." He pinches my thigh again, but it's hard enough to bruise this time and I shuffle along the bed. His tip nudges my hole and I squeak. Connor was right, I haven't really looked but Jared is huge. I mean, it's been in my mouth and my hand, but right now? It feels like someone's trying to force a freight train inside me.

"What did I say? You have to do something for me first." He pushes me back into Connor's lap. Then he rummages through the nightstand and makes a victorious sound.  
"Here fuck yourself in front of me." Jare tosses a bullet vibrator at me and I fumble to catch it.  
"Can I come?" I ask and Jared shakes his hand with a smirk.  
"We'll see." 

I circle the tip around me and I use one hand to keep myself open. Connor pets my hair and kisses up my jaw and my shoulders.  
When I apply pressure, and it pops in with a lewd sound.  
"O-oh!" I gasp and Jared snickers and wraps a hand around himself.  
"Good boy Ev, you look so hot."

Connor snatches the remote out of my hands and pushes the bullet in deeper.  
"Con! What if it gets lost?"  
Connor laughs and kisses my cheek.  
"It won't get lost my love it has no where to go."  
"Like hell it doesn't have anywhere to go! What if it gets stuck in me? We'll have to go to the hospital and my mother will probably hear about her son having to get a dildo surgically removed and-" 

Connor turns it on and I'm cut off with a squawk.  
It buzzes softly against my g spot, and I grab at Connor's bicep weakly.  
"Turn it up, p-please, more!" I whimper and Connor presses another button, with a soft,  
"Oh this should be fun."

It goes from vibrating nonstop, to speeding up and going randomly.

Buzz  
Stop  
Buzz  
Buzz  
Buzz  
Stop

It's been a solid thirty seconds of nothing.

OH MY GOD IS IT PULSATING? I thrash in the sheets, as it abuses my sweet spot.

"Jared I'm gonna come!" I scream and Jare takes the remote from Connor.  
"Oh no you're not."

He turns it completely off and I sob. I was right there, right on the edge.

"Jare please." I whine and he strokes my hair soothingly as I come back down.  
It starts vibrating again as soon as I relax, and I choke on my spit.  
"Jared!" I whimper and the toy slows down. I frustratedly wiggle my hips and it stops completely.  
"What are you doing?" I huff and Jared chuckles.

"Be good and stay still and I'll reward you." He puts it on the highest level and I scream.  
Stay still stay still stay still.  
I shake with the effort and my stomach tightens up.  
"Jare-"  
"No talking or begging either." Jared smirks and it builds up hotly. Oh god I'm gonna come.  
I tighten around it and mewl brokenly.

"Hey Jare I think he's close again," Connor muses as he leaves soft kisses all over my neck.  
"Good." Jared forces my thighs to spread wider.  
Stay still 

He plays with the remote some more.  
The little toy starts heating up and I close my thighs as much as possible when I orgasm. My eyes roll into my head and I see white, It feels like being swept up by a wave.

The little bullet continues to buzz aggressively and I sob. My fingers tighten in the sheets and Jared kisses me lovingly.

"Good boy. Gorgeous, you did so well."  
"Jare please turn the toy off!" I shriek and he bites his lip with a smirk.  
"No."  
"W-what? What do you mean no!" I yell and he wraps his arms around my waist.  
"I mean no, we're gonna keep it on until you're ready for more." He purrs and smashes our mouths together. Curious fingers press against my entrance and I squeal for the 20th time tonight.

"Mm, Ev you're really tight." The finger presses in along with the vibe and I shiver.  
"Yeah? You like being stuffed?" He asks and Connor snickers.  
"Yes! I do!" I whimper and Jared pulls the bullet out with smile. He turns it off and tosses it behind him.  
"I think you're ready my love." Jared takes a minute to put on a condom and coat himself in lube. He moans and strokes himself and I smack his hand away lightly.

He wipes his hand on the sheets, then digs his nails into my hip.  
"Say when." Jare smiles and I nod.  
He starts to slowly push his tip inside me and I wrap my arms around his shoulders clumsily.  
Normally around halfway we take a break to adjust, but he doesn't stop until his hips are flush against mine. I'm mewling and whimpering by the time he's all the way in.  
"Big." I gasp out and Jared blushes.

And he doesn't let me adjust then either, he goes straight to step five, pounding as hard as he can while I scream in pleasure.  
Connor's eyes are wide and I feel his boner press against my back.  
"Con- C'mere." I groan and he sits by my side,  
"What's up baby?"  
"Fuck my throat." I growl and Connor inhales sharply.  
"A-are you sure?"  
"Fuck yes, do it, Now." He sits on my chest and I suck the tip into my mouth shakily.

"Jared!" I moan around Connor, and Con's back arched gorgeously. Jare hit my g spot dead on.  
"There babe?" He asks amusedly and I whine.  
"Y-yes oh god please right there!" 

Connor pushes himself into my mouth hesitantly and I suck him down into my throat.  
His hips buck and I swallow and gag around his dick.

It's so good though, This is just what I needed. I squeeze Jared's dick rhythmically and he moans sweetly.  
"God Ev, just like that." He grunts and thrusts harder. For someone who is supposedly 'Horrible at topping,' he's amazing. Jare's hitting all the right spots and goes faster when I need it.

Connor starts thrusting and tugs my hair to guide me.  
I'm so so close please. I try my hardest to suck Connor off. He's been alone almost all day, he needs the best blowjob ever. He yelps and presses deeper, almost triggering my gag reflex. I swallow and breathe in through my nose and take him into my throat.

"EVAN!" Connor shouts and his come paints the inside of my mouth. And I have no choice but to swallow most of it.

It's salty and musky and ew.  
It doesn't taste good PornHub! Stop lying.  
I crinkle my nose and run my teeth along his dick as a punishment for forgetting a condom.  
"Ow babe, fuck, please don't bite me holy shit." Connor winces and I pull off of him.  
"Gross." I spit what's left in my mouth onto the sheets and Connor laughs and cuddles my side.  
"Sorry babe." 

Jare smiles at us and looks to me for consent to keep going.  
"When did you stop?" I ask with a hoarse voice and Jared smiles wider in a smug way.  
"Around when Connor started pulling your hair. May I continue?" He presses deeper and I nod.  
"Please."  
He picks up exactly where he left off and I squeeze around him tightly as his pace goes from 0 to 100.

"Jare! Harder, Faster, please I need to come!" I whine and he nods with a shaky smirk. His fingernails dig into my hips and he moves faster. Then he hits my sweet spot again and my toes curl.  
"Jared!" I whimper and ramble his name. Connor nuzzles my neck and then squeezes my sides lightly. I giggle breathily and his lips quirk up in a smirk.

Jare leans down and captures my lips in an aggressive kiss and I tentatively kiss back. He starts thrusting harder and looks me in the eyes like a challenge.

I push my tongue into his mouth and he hums, pleased with my retaliation.  
Jared nibbles my bottom lip, and one of his hands come up behind my neck to hold me in place. 

"I can feel you in my stomach." I sigh breathily against his mouth and Jared laughs.  
"Nah I hardly reach your stomach."  
I push back into his thrusts and the pressure builds, like charging, instead of a steady flow. This is going to be a violent orgasm. I scratch at the sheets and arch my back.

"Jare I'm close!" I whine and he grunts, and kisses tears away from my eyes.  
"Just let go love."  
My eyes flutter shut, and the tight coil in my stomach snaps. Come sprays my thighs and I hear Jared giggle.  
"Babe." He says with a laugh, "Babe you came everywhere, was that good?"  
I nod and Jared thrusts faster until he's close to the edge.  
Connor leans over my chest and makes out with him messily. Jared says something to him, and Connor is sucking hickeys into his neck.  
He plays with Jare's chest and Jared finally orgasms with a pitiful whimper.

Jare pulls out slowly and Con's hand is tracing circles on my thigh. Jared ties the condom, and his tongue sticks out from between his teeth in concentration.  
"I love you." I say and Jared buries his face in his hands with a muttered "love you too."  
I cuddle into his side after he tosses the condom, and Connor wraps himself around both of us tiredly.  
"W-was- was I okay?" Jare asks softly and I kiss his cheek.  
"Um?" I say with a big grin, "New rule you're topping all the time. That was awesome, I don't think I've ever had that violent an orgasm in my entire life."  
Jared smiles and blushes down to his chest.  
Connor wraps his arms around him and spoons Jare like an octopus.

"Con what about you?" Jared asks, "I never got a chance to talk to you before we teamed up on Ev."  
"Jared do bears shit in the woods." Connor yawns and Jared's eyebrows furrow in confusion.  
"Uh yeah?"  
"There's my answer." He grumbles and pulls the blanket over us. I throw it off my legs and Jared smiles abashedly.  
"Good," he sighs and entwines our hands.  
"That's good," 

Jared spends the next hour or so fussing over any bruises on us.  
Connor has a lot that I didn't notice before, and when I asked,  
"Who initiated all the biting?" Connor smiled widely and proudly stated that he had, Made fun of Jared until he 'got a little mean.'

"Um a little? Babe, both of your necks have bruises on top of their bruises."  
Jared and Connor both sighed happily at that, and that was the end of the conversation. Connor eventually throws us some clothes, (one of his shirts and some boxers) and Jare decides to just pull on a really long t shirt and nothing else. Connor puts on some soft pajama pants and one of his off brand band shirts.

"I call not it for ordering dinner." Jare said and I yelled out 'not it' just before Con did. He grumbled something like "the things I do for you." And kissed us both softly.

He grabs a blanket, wraps himself in it and then walks down the stairs.  
"I love our bean pole boyfriend." I say to Jared and he smiles fondly.  
"Me too. I love my handsome bi boyfriend," Jare smiles and curls into my chest.  
"I love my gay meme boyfriend, he has a huge dick." I giggle and Jared sputters with laughter.

"No I don't and you know it Ev." Jared smiles and I kiss him until he forgets what he was talking about.  
He hums into the kiss and sits down on my lap.

"Hey, I ordered pizza because every other restaurant in the tristate area is shut. And Jare, babe, I'm gonna divorce you if you make a Phineas and Ferb joke." Connor says suddenly from the doorway and gestures downstairs. Jare and I disconnect with a small pop and I blush in embarrassment.

"Phineas!" Jared says in a high pitched falsetto voice and Connor deadpans.  
"Divorce." He says with a blank face and leaves, Jared races down the stairs after him, quoting the show, and when I catch up to them, Jared has tackled Connor onto the couch and he's tickling him mercilessly.

"Say it!" Jared laughs and there are tears coming out of Connor's eyes.  
"No!" Con barks with a laugh and Jared digs his fingers into his armpits. His legs start to kick beneath Jared as he laughs against his will.  
"Say it! Say you love me!"  
"Okay okay! I love you! Stop!" Connor yelps and Jared releases him with a teasing smile. Connor heaves for a solid minute and Jared moves like he's gonna start tickling him again.  
Con swats his hands away with a squawk.  
"Jare don't! I love you I love you!" 

"Damn right you love me." Jared smiles and flops down to cuddle him. Connor rolls his eyes at our boneless boyfriend, and extends a hand in my direction. I take it and I'm almost pulled into their weird cuddle pile.  
"Jare move your butt. Ev needs to sit somewhere." Con nudges Jared and he wraps himself around Connor even further.

"He can sit on this dick." Jare points to himself. I flush and shove him lightly and cover my face with my hands.  
"I just did Jare! I wanna cuddle too." I whine and Jared kisses me with a snicker.  
Connor scoots back and pulls me up between them. Jared lays across my back and Connor holds me up by my waist with a smile.  
I lean on Con and he hums contentedly.  
"So..." Jared says. "What do you guys want to watch?" 

Connor thinks for a minute before grabbing the remote off the coffee table.  
"It's my turn to pick." Connor says and Jared and I don't try to argue, I mean, he did just buy us a post sex pizza.

While we're eating and watching Season three of Breaking Bad, no one speaks for a while, completely immersed in the show. Connor and I are on the couch and Jared's sitting criss cross on the floor for some reason.

I clear my throat and Connor and Jare both look at me.  
"Hey so, some dude roared into the park on a motorcycle and started flirting with me." I blurt and Jared chokes on his mouthful.  
Connor's eyes go dark, he sets down his plate, and pulls me into his lap, pawing at my ass possessively.  
"You are ours. Not his." Connor growls and I nod, but it doesn't seem to pacify him.  
"If he shows up again you call me, and put me on speaker." He clutches my chin in his hand and forces me to make eye contact.  
Jared nods, and says "Call me too! Make it a conference deal." Jare doesn't seem as bothered by me getting flirted with as Connor does, but Jared is different. He's not extremely possessive and doesn't get pissed if someone else so much as looks at something that's 'his.' Jared gets insecure, sad and worried, then he covers it with jokes and sarcasm.

I smirk and lick my lips. Connor follows my tongue with his eyes intently and I shrug,  
"I dunno. May- Maybe I wanted to get fucked against the walls of his apartment, i-it did sound appealing."  
Connor smashes our lips together, and pushes his tongue into my mouth. Jared leans over and sucks a hickey into my neck.  
"Don't cover it up tomorrow." Jared says, and Connor smirks dangerously.

He bites down on the side of my neck hard, and leaves a bright red and purple mark in his wake without a doubt. I whimper and Jared kisses my neck sloppily.  
"Ours." Jare chirps, and Con nods in agreement with a glare.

"Yours." I say with an eye roll and Connor leaves a couple more hickeys on my neck and collarbone for good measure.

Connor growls under his breath and Jared starts giggling again.  
"I keep telling you Ev, our boyfriend is a literal furry!"  
Connor leans over and bites Jared too, and his laugh is cut off by a very adorable whine.

"Dick." Jare grumbles when Con releases him and smirks at Jared amusedly.  
"I love you Jare." He chuckles and Jared hisses like a cat.  
"Who's the furry now!" Connor laughs and pulls Jared up to kiss him aggressively.

Jare lets out a high pitched moan and fists Connor's shirt in his hands.  
I watch with a smile until Jared lets Connor go and they both flush awkwardly.  
"Uh so..." Jared says, "Was that dude at the park hotter than me?" 

I giggle and grab his hand.  
"He wishes."  
Jare laughs along with me and leans into Connor's side with half lidded eyes.

"I'm tired." He mumbles, and Connor snorts.  
"Of course you are, you've orgasmed the most out of all of us."  
"Con how m-many did you, you get to?" I ask and Connor wraps his arm around a flustered Jared's shoulders.  
"Our special nerd here, got me to three in an hour and a half." Connor says proudly and Jared covers his face with his hands.  
"Jare came like four times." Con comments and my eyes widen.  
"Four?! But you get exhausted after one!" I accuse Jared and Connor smiles.

"I just forced him to keep going. I rode him for a while too, when he was oversensitive, It was so cute he was crying. 'Connor please!~'" Con mocks and Jared shoves him with a bright red face.  
"Shut up!" He squeaks and I blush. Uh Connor riding an oversensitive moaning Jared is going right into the spank bank.

I curl into Connor's chest and yawn.  
"Tired?" Con asks and I nod wearily.  
"Very."  
"Let's go take a nap." Jared mumbles into Connor's shoulder and Con sighs happily.  
"That sounds really good right now."  
"But I d-d-don't wanna moooooovvvvee." I whine and Connor leans all the way back on the couch. He rubs circles into my back and I'm slowly drifting...

"Well, see you homos later." Jared snarks and struts confidently into the kitchen. The fridge opens and I hear him shuffling around.  
"Connor...." I whisper, and he looks up at me guiltily.  
"Jare couldn't fit on the couch, I didn't even think about that... I'm such an asshole. Come on, he's feeling left out."  
A plate clinks against the island and Connor and I walk into the kitchen cautiously.

"Oh so you guys decided to stop fucking? What did I ruin the mood?" Jared jokes with a smirk, but God I can see it in his eyes.  
He's scared.  
And lonely.

Jared pushes the plate away gently and looks down, he made himself a sandwich.  
"Jared," Connor murmurs and Jare sits up, waiting patiently for Con to finish what he's saying so he can crack another joke.

This is a sensitive situation.  
It could go very right or very wrong. What if I say something bad and he hates me? I could ruin everything and Connor and Jared would keep dating and they'd stop talking to me and I'd feel suicidal and I'd probably end up jumping off another tree and they wouldn't care because they'd be h a p p y.

I'm hyperventilating, gross tears and snot are dripping down my face, and I'm doubled over. 

They'd be happy without me. 

I choke and vomit starts to rise up my throat. Nonono not again I was doing so well.  
"Evan! Can you hear me? Baby I'm sorry, please tell me what I did!" Jared's voice is faint and the white noise buzzing in my ears increases tenfold.  
I collapse to my knees and two people shout. It's silent all around me, and I feel like I'm losing myself. I'm suffocating.  
I'm going crazy.

"Can I touch you?" Someone asks.  
The thought of more sensations to deal with, no no no, I can't let that happen,  
I shake my head frantically.  
"Okay, okay, it's alright Ev." Jared. It's Jared and he sounds absolutely terrified.

I did that.  
I'm scaring him.

"I'm s-sorry." I sob.  
"Don't be sorry." Connor says soothingly. "You're gonna be okay, deep breaths." 

"Connor what did I do?" Jared sobs and I hear some quiet shushing.  
"No Con he hates me! I ruined everything like an asshole. I should've just talked to you guys." Jared's breath hitches.  
"Jare my love, he's not mad at you. Would he be having an anxiety attack if he was?"  
"...no."  
"Mkay. What we need to do right now, is help Evan. I don't wanna hear any worries about him hating you. Ev loves you so much and I don't think you understand how much he talks about you when you're not here." 

"Evan." I nod in response to Connor's voice.  
"In... Out." He's counting mentally?  
"In... Out." My throat feels dry and gross.  
With every breath I slowly regain a little bit of myself.  
"Are you okay? Can I touch you now?" Connor's hand hovers over my arm and he looks up with worried eyes.  
"J-J-J-Just a litt-little bit. I'm s-still oversensitive." 

Connor gently brings his hand down onto my bicep and he rubs it soothingly. My arm tingles but I don't have the heart to say stop. He's worried about me, and if he can't hug me or kiss me, he gets even more freaked out.  
"Evan can I...?" Jared starts to ask then stops himself. "Never mind. Hey Ev, do you want to hear a fun fact?" 

I nod and Jared smiles widely.  
"Okay, fun fact, I love you more than you love trees."  
"Nuh uh," Connor pouts, "I love him more than Romeo and Juliet loved each other."  
I laugh softly and Jared scoots around to sit in front of me.  
"Hey. Look at me Ev."  
I look up and Jared's wringing his hands.  
"I'm sorry baby."  
I try to say something but it's like my voice just gives up.  
I slump down into Jared's arms and he gently pets the top of my head.

–––––––––––––––––––––––––––––––––  
Jared's POV  
–––––––––––––––––––––––––––––––––  
Evan's out, he goes completely limp and snores softly underneath his breath.  
"Jesus." I mutter and Connor laughs and brushes Evan's hair out of his face.  
"Let's get him to bed. And Jare?"  
I look up and Connor caresses my cheek.  
"I'm sorry." He says softly and rubs slow circles with his thumb.

"No, I'm sorry I was acting like a child. I should've just asked you guys to make room." I retort and Connor hugs me.  
"It's my responsibility as your boyfriend to make sure you're okay."  
I shrug and Connor pets my hair. My eyes drop and Connor chuckles.  
"You boys, all it takes is a little cuddling and you're out like a light."

"Let's go to bed." I yawn and Connor gently nudged Evan.  
"Baby. Cmon up, we can't sleep on the floor my love." Connor giggles and Evan whines and presses his face into my stomach.  
"Carry me." He groans and Connor shrugs.  
"Let go of Jared first." Evan flops backward and Connor scoops him up into his arms. Evan is limp again and I follow with the blanket and a shirt that was laying on the floor.  
Connor sets him down and then hugs me tightly. I hug back and then he dips me into the bridal position.  
"Connor what the?"

He walks backwards out the door and then walks back over the threshold and sets me down next to Ev. Con pulls the blanket around us and I capture his lips to keep him from going.  
"Sleep with us." I mutter, and Connor hesitates. I pout and he sighs.  
"Okay, just five minutes." 

When we wake up the sun is back in the sky and Evan is already downstairs. It's noon. Connor groans something about needing to work on a paper, and,  
"Fuck you Jared it's due today."  
I kiss him and ruffle his hair.  
"But don't you jerk it to Hamlet? You'll be fine English is your best subject."  
He flips me off, sticks out his tongue, and hurries downstairs with his computer.  
I'm warm, my boyfriends are cute and Evan's making waffles.  
I think it's safe to say today is going to be a good day, tomorrow will be better, and forever will be perfect.

I wouldn't mind being with Evan and Connor forever.

'We should get married!'

"Oh shit." I mutter. 

'I want to marry my boyfriends.' 

"Jared everything okay up there?" Evan calls and I nod before realizing he's downstairs he can't see me, 'Jared you idiot!'  
"Yeah! I'm just getting ready!'

'I want to marry Evan Hansen and Connor Murphy, and I've been with them for a little over a year.'


	6. Pick me up

The Betty White look alike on the tv drones on about how to properly roast a chicken, when I get a text from my lovely boyfriend Evan. Connor's at work, and Evan is visiting his dad in Colorado, so when I get his text, I know something is wrong.

The door slams open and my phone pings at the same time. I turn it on silent without reading the text, and lay it face down on the table to give Connor my full attention.  
"Hey love." I say gently and Connor doesn't look up from untying his boots. His apron has been thrown across the room, and his keys are probably in the kitchen now. His hair is greasy and covered in flower petals, leaves, and...

Is that purple glitter?

"Con?" I ask and he throws his boots off. One flings backwards and the other almost hits me in the leg.  
"What!" He growls.  
I step back slightly and hold my hands up.  
"Hey hey. It's okay Con it's just me." I whisper softly, and if anything the tone of my voice pisses him off more. He stands up and taps his foot aggressively against the floor. 

"Get over here." He hisses and I don't move.  
"What?"  
"Get the fuck over here Kleinman, front and center." Connor points in front of himself and I cautiously start walking over. Con crosses his arms and frowns.  
"I don't have all day." His eyes narrow and his fingers tap in time with his foot against his bicep.

Connor's not going to hurt me is he?

When I stop in front of him, he immediately drops to his knees. But instead of crying or something like I had expected, Connor undoes my belt and tugs my pants down harshly.  
"Connor?!" I yelp and he glares at me.  
"You want to help me feel better right?" His voice is cold and stagnant.  
"Yes of course I do! I love you Con." I say shakily and Connor pulls them down the rest of the way.

"Then shut up and stop worrying. I'm not gonna hit you or anything."  
Con grabs my hips and pulls me over to his mouth.

"Wait Connor what are you doing?" I gasp and he deadpans.  
"I'm going to bite your dick off, that okay with you?"  
"I- I can't tell if you're being serious or not."  
Connor presses his nails into my hip and I whimper.  
"Just shut up Kleinman."  
He mouths me over my boxers messily and his nails dig in deeper.

"Mmf." Con moans and sucks until I start getting hard.  
"W-ah-it Connor," I gasp for breath and he grabs one of my hands.  
He pulls away from my dick, looks up at me, and places my hand on top of his head.  
"Pull my hair." He growls and I thread my fingers through it nervously. Petals descend around him, but he doesn't seem to notice.  
"B-but Con-" Connor slides my boxers down and sucks the head of my dick into his mouth angrily. His top teeth graze my skin and I hiss in pain.  
"Sorry," he mumbles and slides his mouth down to take more of me.

Connor's moans reverberate around my dick and I jerk my hips up into his throat. Connor sighs and pulls me closer to him, bobbing his head up and down faster. One of his hands is palming at himself through his pants, and I move my leg between his thighs without thinking.

Connor whines and looks up at me through his eyelashes.  
"Get yourself off against that." I murmur, and Connor (surprisingly) nods and starts humping my leg.  
His moans get louder and louder as time passes, until I feel his teeth slide against me again.  
"Ouch! Fuck Connor please be careful." I plead and when I look down, Connor is, glaring? Oh my god he did that on purpose.

What a little shit.

He tugs on his hair, moans and then motions to my unmoving hand on top of his head.

I pull it lightly and Connor takes me into his throat, and oh god it's so tight and hot and perfect. I thrust deeper with a whine and he gags. I start to pull out, in fear that I hurt him, and Con grabs my hips and tugs me back.  
I pull his hair again and he thrusts against my leg faster, and even though I can't hear what he's saying I can tell he's begging.

Tears prick at the corners of Connor's eyes and the growl he makes, vibrates pleasantly. I wrap his hair around my hand, tug harshly, he moans, and his eyelids flutter shut.  
His hips stutter, and something wet and hot soaks through my sock. It's not enough to be come, and judging by the frustrated tilted scowl on his face, he's extremely close too.  
Connor squeals and tries to work me in deeper with broken whimpers.

"What do you want Con?" I ask and he bobs his head faster. His hands grip my hips closer and I'm sure his jaw aches like a motherfucker.  
"Do you want me to pull your hair? Two taps yes, one tap no?" I say and Connor lightly slaps my thigh once.  
"Do you want me to..." I trail off, "Spank you or something freaky like you and Evan do?" Connor laughs wetly.

Tap

"Okay. Does it involve my dick?"  
Connor hits my thigh twice frantically.  
"I like this game of Twenty Questions. Uh do you want me to fuck you after you're done choking yourself on my dick?" I laugh and Connor taps once.  
"Damn I thought I had it this time. Do you want me to fuck your throat?" I ask and Connor sobs with relief, 

Tap  
Tap

He looks up at me and gags purposefully.  
I slowly pull out and he gasps for air.  
"Please Jare please please." He whines and grips my thighs to hold himself up.  
I pull his hair and he moans, jaw slack, and I thrust back into his mouth quickly.  
He squeaks around me and wiggles his hips.  
"Yeah, is this what you needed Connor?" I try to channel Evan Hansen and Con's hips move frantically against my leg. 

"What a good boy," I purr and Connor chokes on my dick. I start with a slow rhythm and whenever I pull out all the way he whines, and tries to swallow me back down.  
"Are you gonna come?" I ask and Connor cries out around my dick.

Tap  
Tap

"Aw I thought so, you've been so good. Such a little slut, sucking me off the moment you walk through the door. Are you sure naughty things like you deserve to come?" 

I pull out and tap the head against his lips and Connor coughs. He kisses me almost sweetly and pants with his tongue lolled out.

"N-no but I really need it, please Jare?" He moans and rubs his thighs together.  
This time I don't give him any mercy, I fuck his mouth aggressively and he moans with every breath, bobbing his head and trying to reciprocate.

Con's hips stutter, he pulls off and screams. High pitched and whiny, and a dark spot grows over the crotch of his pants.  
"Jared Jared Jared!"  
I untangle my hand from his curls and drop to the floor with him.  
He wraps me into a hug and sighs.

"Thank you baby." He murmurs with a hoarse voice when he comes down. I pet his hair to help him relax and he slumps down completely and mutters something under his breath.

"What's up Con?" I ask and he buries his face deeper into my neck.  
"Karen is such a douchebag, and I hate my job. And team activities fucking suck, we had to be handcuffed together all afternoon to build 'trust.' And 'teamwork.' You know how hard it is arranging flowers with one hand? Really fucking hard."  
His voice cracks and he sounds absolutely miserable. My heart aches for him (as cheesy as that sounds) and I slowly rock my sad puddle of boyfriend back and forth.

"Well if you hate the job, just quit." I say, and Connor frowns deeply.  
"It's not that simple, Jare, and even if it was, where would I go?" I chose to ignore that first part.

"You like reading right? And silence?" I say and Connor's eyebrows furrow.  
"What are you getting at?"  
"There's the library near Ev's college, they're always looking for people, you could work there and y'all can fuck in the break room between his classes or something." I say and Connor snorts.

"That's actually not a bad idea. Thanks babe, I'll look into it." Connor smiles brightly and kisses me, and then his eyes shoot open.  
"Holy shit!" Connor yelps and he face falls.  
"What? What's the matter?" I check for anything that could make him uncomfortable, and he cups my face in his hands and looks at me sadly.

"You didn't come!" He says and his lips quirk down. "I'm so sorry baby, I didn't- God I'm so selfish." Connor grumbles and runs a hand through his hair.  
"Con-" 

"No don't even try and tell me I'm not, I get home, edge you, finish myself, and then start complaining about my day! I'm such an asshole, if I were you I'd be yelling at me-"

"Well you're not me, and I'm not yelling am I?" I try to pull him over to look at me but he sinks deeper into himself.  
"Why aren't you yelling? I'm a horrible boyfriend?" Connor whimpers and I bring his face up towards mine and kiss him softly. He doesn't kiss back and I break it once I have his full attention.

"Con that doesn't matter to me and you know that."  
"But-"  
"Hold on I'm not done, and today was about you anyway, so I'm fine, delighted even, to help you relax and feel good, okay?" I slowly rub his cheeks in circular motions with my thumbs and Connor blushes.

He looks up meekly, with an unspoken  
'Can I tell you something?'

My boyfriend looks so small and fragile, and it's weird to me when he normally takes up space on purpose; i.e. stealing the entire bed, couch, chair, or bath, putting his feet up on tables (especially at dinner), flopping across both Ev and I in his sleep, and leaning across four seats in my car just because he can.

I nod and he takes a deep breath.  
"Yeah but like you deserve it way more than I do and just because I had one bad day doesn't mean I should force you to have sex and ohmygodIneveraskedyouforconsentI'materriblepersonI'mreallysorrywasthatokaywithyou-"  
"Baby, Connor, Love, I didn't catch any of that give me the key words." 

"I uh, consent, asked, sorry, terrible, forced." He breathes and I hug him close.  
"You're not a bad person, don't be sorry, and I would tell you if I didn't want to have sex you know that Con. I'm not a pushover." I chuckle and Connor relaxes slightly in my arms.

"I'm still sorry." He whines and I rub his back.  
"Stop," I say and Connor laughs.  
"What do you want for dinner?" I ask and Connor hums thoughtfully.  
"Do we still have the cake from Evan's birthday last week?"  
"Yeah?" 

What?

"I want cake for dinner." He huffs into my neck.  
"Babe, I'll go out and buy you another cake. Please don't eat the week old Red Velvet." Connor curls around me and I can feel his smile against my collar bone.  
"Okay." He agrees and I start to get up.

"Nooooo, stay." Connor whines and I blink in confusion.  
"Do you want me to head over to the store or not?"  
Connor looks seriously conflicted.  
"Five more minutes?" He murmurs and tugs on my shirt.  
"Okay. But then I'm going to Ralphs. What kind do you want?" I ask even though I know the answer, and Connor rubs at his face.

"Uh, chocolate. Duh." He says very matter of factly and I nod.  
"M'kay."  
Five minutes go by and I try to stand, only to be tugged down again.  
"Snooze button." Con pouts and I pet his hair gently.  
"Babe, why don't you just come with me?" Connor perks up in surprise.

"Good idea. Put on your pants, I'll start the car." Connor almost sprints out the door and I grab him by the back of his shirt.  
"You need to change my love, it looks like you wet yourself." I giggle and Con flushes and runs up the stairs three at a time. I pull my pants and boxers back up and flush.  
What am I supposed to do with my dick? I end up tucking myself under the waistband, and wincing as the scratchy fabric brushes my sensitive everything.

Okay... so maybe it was a little cruel to suck me off and then just forget but, I love my boyfriend, and he does not have the energy.

I'll just jerk off later. No big deal.

He comes back down after a minute in the skinny jeans that hug his amazing figure, and I pull him close and kiss him passionately.  
"Connor it's unfair to look this good." I sigh against his mouth and he laughs in surprise.

"Okay sure." He says and entwines our hands. "Cmon cakes don't buy themselves."  
He walks ahead and tugs me along, and I take a moment to appreciate the work of art that is his backside.

It's times like these that I believe God exists, because that's not just good genetics right? That has to be created by some divine other worldly being.

I call bull, atheists. 

Proof God Exists (or something close to it), Chapter 1 :  
My brunette, blue eyed, beautiful boyfriend, Connor Murphy.  
My blond, anxious, soft boyfriend, Evan Hansen.  
My boyfriends.  
Connor not killing himself a year ago. Connor slowly feeling better about himself and taking it one day at a time.  
Evan trying new things everyday to help his anxiety and feel more comfortable talking to people. (ex. Talking to the pizza guy, ordering a coffee, raising his hand in class)  
My boyfriends supporting me, and bringing me out of my head on my bad days.

Sincerely, Jared Kleinman

"Jare?" Connor's hand waves in front of my face.  
"You're spacing out." His eyebrows furrow in confusion, and I smile and kiss his neck.  
"You're gorgeous." I say confidently and Connor flushes.  
"Can we just go to the store without you listing every little thing you like about me?" 

-

"And I love your cooking. And your art! And your writing, your singing, your tap dancing, the little smile you get when you're so unbelievably happy that you can't contain it. I love your butt, and your little whiny moans when I-"  
"Okay we're here please stop!" Connor shrieks and covers his ears with a deep blush.  
I pull into a parking spot and lean over to kiss my boyfriend's hot cheeks.  
"and I love when you get embarrassed." I whisper and Connor whacks me square in the face with his hoodie sleeve.  
"Stooooppppp!"  
We get out of the car and I grab his hand and squeeze it three times, our code for I love you.

He traces his thumb along the back of my hand, spelling out,

S  
T  
O  
P

I smile at him and kiss his cheek again.

N  
E  
V  
E  
R

Connor frowns playfully and leans into my side while I grab a cart.  
"We should probably pick up groceries while we're here too, do you have the list?" Connor asks and I dig through my pocket, pull out the post it note, and hand it to him.

"M'kay..." Connor mutters and scans the paper.  
Bread  
Milk  
Chocolate  
Lucky Charms because Ev refuses to eat anything else  
Lemonade

"This list is gay." Connor concludes and hands it back.  
"Well it should be, it was written by a gay. Me."  
Connor leans on my side heavily as we walk through the store, and the arm that I have around his waist feels warm and pleasant.

You know that soft warm fluffy cotton feeling that spreads through your chest whenever you look at someone?

"Stop staring at me weirdo." Connor huffs and puts a lock of hair behind his ear.  
"I love you." I whisper and Con blushes.  
"Stop saying that."  
"Why would I stop telling the truth?" I laugh and Connor crosses his arms.  
"Because you're just telling me to make me feel better. Stop."

"No no Con I really really love you." I cup his cheeks and force him to look at me. "I love you."  
He tears up and brushes my hands off his cheeks.  
"I'm- I'm gonna go get the milk now." He sighs softly and speed walks to the dairy section before I can follow.

To : Conman  
Sweetheart I'll be in the bread isle okay?

From : Conman  
Look I know you're trying to make me feel better/wanted by saying you love me over and over and that's sweet but you don't need to. Really.

To : Conman  
:(

From : Conman  
Jared...

To : Conman  
:'''( T_T

From : Conman  
Jare stop.

To : Conman  
,:/

From : Conman  
I'm serious.

To : Conman  
So am I >:(

[Conman] is typing...

The three dots disappear and reappear multiple times.

From : Conman  
I love you too.

To : Conman  
:)

From : Conman  
But I love you more than you love me.

To : Conman  
>:(

I pick the "Country Buttermilk" bread off the shelf, throw it in and lean against my cart. I text Connor about absolute nonsense for a few minutes and Connor doesn't respond for a while.

From : Conman  
I see you

The hairs on the back of my neck raise and I'm just about to type out a response when,

"RAH!" Connor yells and brings his hands down on my shoulders from behind.

I do not scream like a little girl. Because little girls sound fucking metal compared to the noise I just made.

Con kisses my neck and I squeak pretty loudly.  
"Connor, we will be kicked out of Ralphs." I murmur into his ear and he hums.  
"There's a Vons a block away." He offers and I scruff up his hair until he detaches his lips from my throat. Like hell I'm going to Vons, I don't like it there. It's too bright, and I got sick when I had the sushi.  
I don't trust em. I mean Ralphs over charges but it's better than Gelsons.

He places an entire gallon of milk into the cart and before I can ask why we need that much he shrugs.  
"I always drink it all in like three hours so..."

I snort and Connor bites his lip to hide a smile.  
"Your laugh is cute." He snickers and wraps an arm around my shoulders.

Next we need chocolate for Connor because he absolutely needs it in the house.  
I tell him to get some and he nods excitedly.  
Con runs away (like a deer learning to use it's legs) and he comes back just as quick with a king sized Hershey's bar.

Instead of dropping it into the cart he gingerly places it down and gives me a big kiss on the cheek.  
"You're amazing."  
"No you are." I tease and Connor flushes.  
"Shut up."  
"Nooo." I purr and Con takes the cart from me.  
"What do we need to get next?"  
"The drink isle is right over there, so let's get like iced tea and junk." I say and Connor steers the cart with a snort.  
"Wow, I didn't know we needed to buy junk. That's so interesting." Connor chuckles and I pinch his butt in retaliation. He yelps even though I didn't pinch him that hard and we get a dirty look from someone buying rice. Fuck you random person buying rice, you son of a B.

I flip them off and they don't even notice.  
Connor laughs though. His laugh is always gorgeous, his eyes crinkle and he blushes all over. Down to his chest sometimes if someone tells him a cross the road joke.  
I pull him over and kiss him square on the mouth.  
"Jared!" He says disapprovingly. 'Not in public'  
"I'm sorry my love I couldn't help it you're so beautiful." I tease and Connor bats my hands away from his hips.

"Couldn't help it my ass." Connor grumbles and starts walking toward the bakery.  
Con picks out a giant chocolate (disaster) cake and studies it for a minute before deciding, Yes, This is the one. 

A big smile stretches his lips and he rocks back and forth on his heels.  
"Okay you big nerd, let's go home so you can eat that entire thing in five minutes and not gain a single pound." 

\-- Time Skip cause fuck you --

Connor helps me put everything in the fridge and then he sits down at the island to try to curb his excitement. If his feet didn't touch the floor they'd be swinging back and forth.  
"You good babe?" I ask and Connor nods happily.  
"Mkay, C'mere and take your plate. I don't know how you could even eat this." 

Con sprints out of his chair and takes the cake and a fork.  
"Hey Jared I love you and did I mention you're perfect." Connor hugs me tightly and then runs to the living room.  
"What a nerd."  
"I heard that Jared!" He shouts from the couch. I pull out my phone and scroll through tumblr, mostly just to pass time. Didn't Ev text me before Connor came home? I should probably check that...

From : Tree Fucker  
Is Con home yet?

To : Tree Fucker  
Ye he just freaked out tho, he'll be fine. I mean he choked himself on my dick for no reason but I'm not complaining.

Evan responds immediately.

From : Tree Fucker  
Is Connorokay? wHat hapene&d?

To : Tree Fucker  
He's eating cake and I'm still hard from earlier, and I kind of hate it but I also kind of like it

"Hey do you want a drink with that or are you gonna swallow it whole?" I call into the living room.

Silence.

"Con?"  
"It may or may not already be gone?" He says from the hallway.  
"Jesus fuck I hope you're kidding."  
Connor enters the room with an empty plate and a guilty smile on his face.  
"Sorry."  
"I'm joking its fine, eat it all if you want, just don't choke." I say and Connor perks up.  
"Will you come sit with me?" He tugs on my sleeve and drapes himself along my back.  
"Sure." 

Ping!

From : Tree Fucker  
I couldhelp yo,u if you wannt 

Connor leans into my side and purrs lightly when I brush my hands through his hair.  
"Hey Con?" I ask and he hums around the fork in his mouth.  
"You wanna call Ev tonight?"  
Connor nods frantically and sighs. He puts his plate down and wraps his arms around my waist.  
"I miss Evan." He whines and I laugh.  
"Me too. But he'll be back in a few days." I say in what I hope is a comforting tone.  
"What if the guys and girls in Colorado are better looking than us?" Connor sniffs and becomes dead weight.  
"What if they're all flirting with our precious boyfriend and I can't beat the shit out of them? What if he's getting taken advantage of?" 

"Con, Ev will be okay. You know he doesn't go outside and if he does he'll be with his dad. Now I don't like that guy but I know for sure he wouldn't let anything happen to Evan. Okay? Don't worry, we'll talk to him tonight."  
"I can worry all I want, Fuck you." Con whines and lays his head into my lap.  
I brush my fingers through his hair slowly until he goes limp, and he makes a small humming noise and does that cute little smug grin. 

"Let's go upstairs okay? We can cuddle while we talk to Ev." I suggest and Connor moans.  
"That sounds awesome let's go." He follows me sleepily when I put the plate in the sink. I grab my laptop off the coffee table and we make our way up the stairs.

Connor flops onto the bed like a starfish and groans.  
"You're going too slow Jare, get up here already."  
I settle in the covers with my computer balanced on my knees and Connor glues himself to my side.

[Calling, Evan Hansen...]

It rings for a minute before Evan answers.  
He's sitting in a desk chair in a basement? It's empty except for a couch, tv, and ping pong table. Ev's got blue earbuds in, a purple jacket that seems to be Connor's, and black shorts.

"Hi baby." He purrs and I feel my dick strain against my pants.  
Connor squawks in surprise and Evan flushes deeply.  
"Hi Ev." I mutter in embarrassment and wave.  
"H-Hey guys," Evan coughs like he didn't just try to seduce me via Skype. "How're things at home?"  
Connor rambles about his job and states, very proudly, that he's going to take my advice.

"That's great! Then I can have lunch with you during your break." Evan chirps and I snicker.  
"Connor, by lunch, Evan means sex."  
"N-no! No I don't!" He blushes and waves his hands frantically.  
Connor laughs with me and Ev continues to sputter.  
"Guys.... Seriously!" Ev whines and his thighs bounce back and forth on his chair. A tell tale sign that he's bored, anxious, or extremely focused. There's no in between. They softly tap one another repetitively, instead of bouncing his leg? It's hard to explain but that nervous tick is why Ev has such awesome thighs.

Yeah. I could probably live on those. Also it's cute when they jiggle. And they're really plush but oddly muscled too? Like damn boy how can you be both?

"Jared?" Connor snaps in front of my face and I bring myself back.  
"What?"  
"You've been staring at Ev like you're gonna eat him." Connor snorts and Evan blushes.  
"I was thinking about his thighs." I say and Con groans in appreciation.  
"That's a good excuse," He leans on me with half lidded eyes and smirks at Ev's panic transitioning to arousal then mortification.  
"Guys! Stop it!" Evan pouts.  
"What? There's no one to embarrass you in front of? We like your body and we're allowed to think about it." I say and Ev buries his face in his hands. His ears are probably really warm. 

I wish I could kiss the cute blush off his face.

"Jare did you want my help or not?" Evan asks and I cross my legs and shake my head. Connor looks up at me quizzically.  
"No, Nope, I'm fine Tree boy but thanks." I bite my lip and Con tugs on the hem of my shirt.  
"What does he mean help?" Connor asks with a curious but oddly broken voice,

"He meant, help with-" Evan sees right through my lying face.  
"Jared stop." Evan shakes his head, "We promised not to lie to each other." 

"Are you guys leaving me?" Connor whimpers and I wrap him into a tight hug.  
"Never only a crazy person would leave you. Not in a million years never. Not even if I was offered a billion dollars." I ramble in his ear and he chokes and wipes his eyes.  
"What did he mean by help?"

"Jared really needs to get off, and he was afraid to ask you because you had a bad day." Evan explains and Connor's eyebrows pinch together. I flush and look away off into the corner.

"Not to sound like an asshole or anything, but you said it was fine and that I shouldn't help you. Am I not good enough? Does it have to always be Evan? I would've if you didn't insist you didn't need it."  
"C-Connor no, I didn't mean that I didn't want you-"  
"Then what did you mean Jared?" He hisses and Evan's attempts to calm us down are unheard.  
"I meant you had a shitty day! I didn't want to force you to do anything when you're worn out-"  
"So you run to Evan then?"  
"No!"  
Connor falls silent with angry tears streaming down his face.

"I mentioned it in passing and he offered. I never said that I accepted. And I never said that you weren't good enough, Connor."  
Con pulls me into his lap and winds his arms around my waist to keep me there.  
"U-um? G-Get some?" Evan says from the computer, and when I try to look at him Connor brings my jaw over and kisses me.  
One hand moves to the small of my back and the other slips down to my hip.  
"Connor I said you don't have to." I mutter against his lips and he squishes closer, muffling half of my sentence.  
"Shhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh." Connor mutters and his thumb starts to rub slow circles on my hip.  
"Con-" The hand on my back slides up into my hair and pulls lightly.  
"I said sh." 

"Heyuh you guys? Do you want me to hang up? Imeanyoujustseemreallyinvested and Iwasjustwondering because,"  
"Ev don't hang up." Connor says angrily, and his hand slides across my neck.  
"Fuck!" I moan and start to unintentionally grind against my boyfriend.  
"That's it, Come on Jare let me take care of you." He purrs and tears build up in my eyes.  
"C-Connor." I whimper, and he rubs my side comfortingly.  
"Why'd you force yourself to wait? I said-"  
"I-I know." I moan and throw my arms around his neck.  
"Don't do this again, promise me." He wraps a hand around my hip to still them.  
"I just thought-" I gasp and Connor presses a finger to my lips.  
"Promise me."

"Okay I'm sorry, I won't do it again but,"  
"No you already answered, it's done." Con smiles as he pops the button on my pants.  
"Oh my god," Evan moans and when we look over, his legs are crossed and he's biting his lip.  
"Ev, you can touch yourself." Connor suggests and Evan nods and slips his hand into his shorts.  
He shudders and whimpers, and I can tell he was too afraid to jerk off there.  
Ev has a surprising libido, and he admitted to masturbating almost every day. Which was just.  
Wow.  
I try to close my legs and Connor grinds his knee against my crotch threateningly.  
"Connor, please." I whine and he smirks like he won something.  
Con leans his face into my neck and he sucks a mark gently for a while, I hardly feel anything,

His teeth sink in and I shriek and vibrate in his lap.  
"ConnorConnorwhatthefuck!"

Evan moans and Connor starts to suck a mark on top of the bite. That's going to bruise... Interestingly.  
His thumbs hook into my pants and he shimmies them down just enough. I bury my face in Connor's shoulder, because I do not. Want to see myself. Ever.  
Con kisses my ear softly and his hand creeps closer.  
"Do you want to keep going?" He asks and I nod, if I stopped now it would hurt too much.

Evan hisses something about his fingers not fitting and he gives up and watches us with bright eyes.

"Such a good boy." Connor smiles as he strokes me slowly.  
"C-Con," I whimper and he kisses my cheeks.  
"Just let go, it's okay. I have you."  
His hand speeds up and he leans over and kisses my neck to distract me.  
"Please." I moan and shift closer on his lap.  
"You don't need to beg either, just tell me what you want." He whispers in my ear and my shoulders twitch forward.  
"I want to come."  
Connor smiles and a hand threads through my hair at the nape of my neck.

"Come on sweetheart it's okay,"  
Fuck.  
"Y-you can't be sweet and sexy that's not allowed." I huff and Evan laughs softly through the computer.

"Hey Ev." I moan and try to smile at him.  
"Hi Jare." He chirps and I twist my fingers in Connor's shirt.  
"Oh god," I whimper and Connor chuckles,  
"Good boy. You're so cute, you make such adorable noises." He whispers fondly and I thrust up into Con's hand.  
"I-I'm-"  
"I know baby. You're okay, it's okay Jare. Don't hold it back." Connor's thumb rubs at the underside of my dick and I shudder.  
"Okay," I gasp and Evan clears his throat lightly to get my attention.

"You look really hot Jare." He purrs when I meet his eyes and I choke on my spit.  
"I think he's flattered." Connor remarks as I cough to catch my breath.  
He squeezes me tightly and I feel myself getting closer to the edge.  
"Do you feel good?" He asks and I nod.  
"Perfect. You're perfect." Connor sighs and I can't help it,

"CONNOR!" 

His shirt is ruined, I'm covered in my own come, and Con looks very proud of himself. He licks his hand clean and my face heats up dangerously.  
Connor presses our lips together, slipping his tongue into my mouth, making me taste myself. Which is kind of weird, but Connor is moaning so I'm not complaining.

He licks his lips when we disconnect,  
"Good boy." Connor teases and Evan smiles at us both.  
"I miss you guys." He sighs sadly, despite the big dorky grin.  
"Do you miss us or the sex?" I joke and Connor laughs along with me. Evan flushes, and nods.  
"Yes."  
"That wasn't an answer Ev."  
"Yes." He nods again as he smoothes out the creases in his shirt.  
"We miss you too Ev," Connor says,  
"How long until you come back?"

"Well, my dad wanted to take me to a concert or something the night I was going to fly home... So I had to buy a later flight."  
"Ughhhhhhhh how much longer?"  
"Seven days?" He shrugs sheepishly and Connor and I both squawk.

"WHAT?!?"  
"SEVEN DAYS?!? EV THAT'S A WEEK!"

"I know, I know, I'm sorry, I c-couldn't get anything earlier." He mumbles, and I can tell the yelling made him uncomfortable.

"When you get back, we are watching so many movies, and we're gonna cuddle, and drink unhealthy amounts of root beer, I hope you know that." I demand and Ev nods with a smile.  
"I'd love that." 

"Hey Ev are you getting any ass in Colorado?" I ask and Evan laughs.  
"Yeah right, like that's happening. I have enough ass at home thanks."  
Con smiles brightly and snuggles my side.  
"Has anyone been flirting with you?" Connor's hand snakes around my waist and pulls me up to lay on his chest as he asks Ev.

"What c-counts as flirting?"  
"When someone says you have a nice butt." I smirk and Evan sputters with a red face.  
"Well..."  
"Who are they?" Connor growls and Evan shifts in his seat.  
"Idon'tknowitwasjustarandomcatcaller, I-I was with La-Lauri in the market pa-place and someone whistled and I didn't think it was at me for a minute,"  
"Breathe Ev." I remind him and he inhales loudly.  
"B-But then they um, tapped my ass when I walked past?" 

Connor's eyes go dark.  
"They what."  
"I mean, it's not like-"  
Con holds out a hand to stop him and I feel him growl low in his chest.  
"Did they hurt you?"  
"Nono! Or course not! I w-was uncomfortable, but it's-"  
"What'd they look like?" 

"Calm down Murphy Boy, you can kill the next one." I hum and brush his hair away from his eyes.  
"I hate not being able to protect you Ev," Con pouts and slumps into the bed.  
"How much longer again?"  
"Just seven days my love."  
"I don't know if I can last that long, can't you just fly home now?" He groans and Ev sighs.  
"My dad-"  
"Fuck your dad, come home." He pouts and Ev leans over and kisses the webcam. My god what a cute dork.

"I'll be back before you can say-"  
"Where are you ho."  
"Connor! Come on I was trying to do something cute!"  
"You're cute already that's why I want you home."

"Goodnight babes." Evan smiles and blows another kiss at the screen.  
"Love you Ev, sleep tight." I hum and Evan makes a heart shape with his hands.  
"Love you too Jare."  
"Come home Ev," Connor groans and Evan laughs,  
"I will I promise!"  
And then he hangs up.

I pick up a pillow and scream into it. He's just!!!

So cute!  
Connor presses the heels of his hands into his eyes and kicks at the sheets irritatedly.  
"Uggghhhh why does he have to be so far? God I love him! I love him and he's a million miles away!" Connor growls and I nod in agreement.  
"Big mood." 

We lay there in the bed for a while, silently asking whatever God is getting kicks out of this to please for the love of yourself give us our boyfriend back this instant.  
"Hey," I say and Connor laughs.  
"Hey."  
"Can I? Can I be the little spoon tonight?"  
"Yes, a million times yes." I reach over him, turn off the light, and cuddle him close to my chest.  
"I love you Jared."  
"I love you too Con, get some sleep mkay edge lord?"  
"Okay." Connor pulls the blanket around himself and sinks deeper into it with a little smile.


	7. Ev's back

The plane ride home wasn't too bad, no one talked to me and it wasn't long... I slept for most of it with the calming playlist Jared made for me in my ears.

A steward woke me up before we landed, and though it took me a good fifteen minutes to find my bag, it was not as nerve wracking as I thought it would be.

iM nOt gAY yOurE gAY  
Hey go wait in the Starbucks we'll be there in like 17 minutes

To Group : moon landing was fake  
mka,y

iM nOt gAY yOurE gAY  
Its Connor and I miss you andim going to tackle you the moment I see your cute face

To Group : moon landing was fake  
u H pleas don't youll breack my other arm...,....

iM nOt gAY yOurE gAY  
:(

To Group : moon landing was fake  
Lov u

iM nOt gAY yOurE gAY  
:)

"Ethan? Caramel Macchiato?" The Starbucks employee calls out and I blush in embarrassment. I take my drink and sit down in a booth to wait.

The ice in my coffee melts, but I don't care enough to get another.

Then I hear a squeal, and someone jumps into my arms.  
"EVAN! I missed you sosososo much!" Each 'so' is followed by a peck on my face.  
"I missed you too Con." I murmur and wrap him into a hug.

"Dude I know how it feels to third wheel, Rip." A teen says to Jared and Jare blushes and takes my hand.  
"Oh I'm not third wheeling, these are my boyfriends."  
"Yours? The blonde one seems to own the rest of you." The teen points out and Jared sits up with a red face and tugs us out of the booth.

"Well nice talking to you but we have to go home, bye." Jared squeaks and then he's tugging us out of the airport.

"Ev. I. missed. you. more. than. a. drowning. man. misses. air." Con whines and kisses wherever he can reach.  
I kiss back and squeeze Jared's hand so he doesn't feel left out.  
Jared squeezes back with a chuckle, as he navigates us through the parking lot.

"Connor where'd we leave the car?" Jare asks with a frown as he scans the small pocket map.  
"5B." Con mutters against my neck, "Spot 47."  
Jared nods and smiles.  
"Right, thanks babe." 

Jared makes his way over to his red jeep and Connor forces me into the back seat with him.  
"Jeez Con, don't hog him. I call Evan when we get home." Jare mutters as he turns the key and starts up the car.  
Connor sticks his tongue out at Jared and cuddles against my side, small purrs escaping his throat when I pet his hair.  
"I missed you so much. Did you miss me?" Connor asks with big puppy dog eyes and I smile as brightly as I can.  
"Definitely. I was counting the hours my love."

Connor hums and lays his head in my lap, and I brush my fingers through the knots in his hair.  
"Have you guys taken showers since I've left?" I ask and Connor and Jared both tense up.  
"I uh yeah, course Ev." Con mutters and nuzzles his head into my lap.

"Cause there's glitter in your hair babe." I giggle and Con blushes.  
"Okay so I may or may not have not taken very good care of myself-"  
"Next time ask Jared for help." I sigh and Connor's shoulders tense more,  
"I'm sorry I just got really, I don't know. When you're gone I feel shitty. Jare helped though."

"If by help you mean choked you on my dick, then sure I helped a lot." Jared smirks from the front seat and I flush.  
"What the-"  
"Oh um I got into one of my... Things again." Connor struggles to look for the word and gives up, wrapping his arms around my stomach.  
It hits me that 'things' means frenzies.  
"Oh. Babe, I'm sorry I wasn't here to take care of you." I hum and Connor shrugs.  
Time passes and Jared's fingers start to tap anxiously against the wheel. 

"Are you okay Jare?"  
"We're almost home." He mutters distantly and I ask again.  
"Jared, are you okay? What's up?"  
He blinks and stops tapping.  
"Nothing Ev I'm fine," He sighs and shakes his head.

A beat of silence.

"Can I cuddle you when we get home?" He asks hesitantly.  
I laugh and Jared's soft smile sinks.  
"You don't need to ask baby." I smile and he beams back. Jared is just... So pretty.

"I missed your smile." I say and he immediately closes his mouth and fights back a blush.  
"I uh."  
"I like Jared's smile too." Connor says softly and then we're both staring at our boyfriend as he tries to hold a blank stare.  
"Shut up you guys." He huffs and Connor lays back down in my lap.  
"I like Evan's thighs. And his cute face." Con says proudly and Jared grins again without thinking.  
"Same."  
I lightly high five Connor for getting Jared to smile again and he nuzzles my stomach and takes my hand and holds it against his heart.  
"Sap." I murmur, and Con looks me dead in the eyes and kisses each knuckle on my hand.  
"Now I'm gonna kiss every freckle on your body." He states proudly and Jared snickers from the front.

"Can I help?"  
Connor's laugh vibrates against my hip.  
"Of course Jared, and then after we can sword fight."  
I blush and push at Connor's shoulders.  
"Y-you wish,"  
Jared just quirks an eyebrow up.  
"What?"  
Connor snickers and Jared's frown deepens.  
"What did he mean by sword fight Ev?"  
Blush spreads to the back of my neck and I comb my fingers through Connor's hair. When I snag on multiple knots, Connor moans quietly.  
"Um."  
"Ev what did he mean? I'm not fencing him I'm more of a fisting kind of guy."  
I blush more and Connor snorts.  
"You can fist me any day of the week Jared."  
"Meet me outside the Denny's at three am and you'll get what's coming to you." He laughs and Connor smiles.  
"Denny's? Real classy Jare, but I'm not gonna fuck you behind the worst restaurant in the history of the world.

Jared blushes and taps against the wheel again.  
"O-oh was that? Is that a thing? What is um sword..."  
"Yes it is and we should definitely do it sometime." Connor holds back another laugh as Jared's eyebrows raise in shock.  
"W-what?"  
It's weird how talking about sex instantly melts away any of Jared's confidence.  
I bury my face in my hands and Connor snuggles into my shoulder.  
"Evan would blow us both at the same time. Doesn't it sound hot?"  
Jared blushes and stutters something that sounds like a mix of,  
"Yes." And "shut the fuck up." And "Evan hates sucking dick, you seem to be forgetting this."

"Ev if I wear a condom will you suck my dick?" Connor asks as he drapes himself along my side and I shrug.  
"Maybe. If you've earned it."  
"Definitely. I'll ride you, or let you punish me-"  
"I'll figure something out."  
Jared groans and pulls the keys out of the car.  
"Damn you guys have such a high sex drive."  
"Hey be nice I've been fantasizing about Ev all week. No offense Jare, but I need to get fucked by a real man." Connor laughs and Jared scoffs.  
"Go fuck yourself Connor Murphy."  
"I've been having to because you can't!" Connor giggles, and the sound shocks me.  
Connor's voice doesn't usually go that high.  
Jared sniffs and gets out of the car. Connor follows him.  
"What's wrong? Did I hurt your feelings? I can't-"  
"C-Connor stop it." I murmur and shove him back lightly.

"What?"  
"Look at our boyfriend."  
Jared's hands are shaking as he unlocks the door, and he looks like he's going to bolt the second the key turns.  
"Jared," I murmur, and he tenses up.  
"What?" He hisses and I gently come forward to rub his shoulder.  
"Honey Connor didn't-"  
"Ev you know I'm not... Good enough okay? Please just stop lying."  
"Jared Kleiman. I lie about many things, but you being 'good enough' is not one of those things. Do you remember Connor when you topped him?"  
Jared bristles and the back of his neck goes red.  
"Those were pity moans."  
"Oh sure and me too?"  
Jared goes silent.  
Connor comes up behind him and hugs his side.  
Jared calms for a split second, before going back to fidgety and on the verge of tears.

The key turns and Jared tries to get away. Connor grabs his hand, spins him around and pulls him into a tight hug. Jared struggles to run. 

He eventually slumps down in Connor's arms.  
"Sorry." Jared sighs and Connor tugs him over to the living room. I follow, leaving my bags at the door.  
We all sit down on the couch and Jared snuggles into my side.

"I missed you more than Connor missed you."  
"Bull fucking shit Jared." Connor hisses and leans over to kiss my neck.  
"I missed Evan so much, I had a permanent scowl on my face."  
Jared laughs and nods.  
"I thought you were just angry at me!"  
"No I wanted my cuddly boyfriend back!" Connor pouts and Jare gasps angrily.  
"I'm cuddly!"  
Connor hums softly in agreement and squeezes my thigh.  
"No but Evan is the softest out of all of us."  
I bat his hand away and he laughs under his breath.  
Jared sighs and nuzzles his cheek into my neck.  
"I missed you." He breathes and I sling an arm around his waist to tug him closer. Connor sighs and wraps his arms around us both, holding Jared and I in his lap with his chin on my head.

"I want to sleep for like, a jallion years." Jared murmurs and Connor whispers "Same" against the top of my head.

Jared does eventually close his eyes and Connor starts humming softly out of nowhere.  
"You guys need to take a shower." I hum as I'm running my hands through Jared's hair.  
Jared and Connor blush angrily and Con shrugs.  
"Ev you're 50% of my impulse control. Why would I do anything when you're gone."  
"You've got the other 50% right here baby!" I point at Jared and Connor blushes.  
"Yeah but Jared was also missing half. We were both incomplete my love give us a break." 

We lay on the couch in a warm pile for an hour or two before Jared starts complaining that his legs are asleep and that we need to do something.  
"Ev babe, there's nothing to do."  
I shrug and Connor looks up from his nail polish.  
"Want me to paint your nails?" Con asks and Jared's eyes go wide.  
"Can I have red nails?"  
Connor laughs.  
"Of course."

Con paints his purple, Jared's a deep red, and mine turquoise.  
"Jare that color is so good on you," Connor hums sweetly. Jared curls into Connor's side and smiles brightly, waving his nails back and forth to dry them.  
"What's the verdict J?"  
"Paint my nails all the time?" Jared asks and Connor blushes and nods.  
I cuddle into Connor's chest and he puts his arm around me. 

Jared pouts and Con kisses his cheek noisily.  
"Connor! You just spit all over me!" Jared shrieks and wipes his face on Connor's hoodie.  
Con laughs and Jared bites his shoulder angrily.  
"Ouch Jare!"  
"Karma is a bitch, but you don't want to fuck with me Murphy."  
"Okay okay! Chill babe." Connor prods at the bite mark and hisses.

"Fuck Jare, why are your teeth so sharp."  
Jared smiles and shifts to get comfortable on the couch. Connor puts his arm around his neck, and his other around my waist, and then he sighs, finally content.

"Wanna put a show on as background noise babes?" Jared asks and Connor shrugs. I do the same and Jare smiles and turns on Adventure Time.  
Connor immediately sits up and stops paying attention to us.  
"Connie it's called background noise for a reason."  
"Whatever babe, I can't ignore my wife." Connor's eyes light up when Marciline comes on screen.  
She starts singing about fries and Connor does not look away.  
"Babe." Jared nudged him with his foot. No response.  
"Babe I'll blow you if you pay attention to me."

Marciline walks off and Connor's eyes flick over to Jared.  
"What was that baby?"  
"Nothing, you don't have the privilege anymore."  
Connor shrugs and kisses Jared's forehead.  
"Sorry J."  
Jared flushes angrily and kisses his cheek.  
"Eat my ass Murphy."  
Connor smiles and leans in to whisper something in his ear.  
I touch Jared's neck, and the heat coming off of it is insane.

"Can we just cuddle guys? Hate to ruin the mood, but as much as I'd love to have s-sex, I just got home."  
Connor nods and lays his head back down on my lap. Jared cuddles into my neck and we watch Finn scream at top volume with only a little making out in between.  
It's difficult not to get sucked into this show.


	8. Periods Suck

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Hey I was on mine when I wrote this and let me just say that my cycle is fucking knarly dude. I hate it, so I made Evan hate it too. Congrats.

Today, I was not woken up by my boyfriends at 5:30 like I usually am. It's 3:00 in the morning, and my useless lower body decided to wake up and bleed all over his sheets. Jared screamed and Connor had to carry me to the bathroom.

Now I'm sitting on the toilet, wishing it would swallow me up and drown me.  
I wouldn't wish this on my worst enemy.  
Cramps hurt, sure, and the bloody pads are gross, but nothing is worse than being reminded you will never be who you want to be. 

And on top of that I've always had a very heavy flow (nighttime pads hardly get me through the day) and cramps are a g o n y. Even though I take Testosterone, my period hasn't let up at all. Sometimes I have to take sick days because I get nauseous, and then I throw up, and that makes it worse, and then I bleed more because my body jolts, and then I cramp up again and-

I splash some water on my face and wash my hands. (No matter what I do I always get blood beneath my fingernails)

When I get back in the room, which takes effort believe me, it's never been this bad before, Connor and Jared had changed the sheets and laid out a fluffy blanket on top of a towel.  
My eyes sting and I wipe the beginnings of tears away, and collapse on top of my boys.

"Need anything else before you go to sleep? Advil? Water?" Connor asks softly as he cards a hand through my hair.  
"N-No."  
I end up crying.  
I can't help it.  
It's too much, 

Connor cups my cheeks and raises my eyes to face him.  
"Hey hey hey. It's okay Ev." He whispers and kisses my forehead.  
In all honesty that makes me sob harder.  
"Evan? Baby what's wrong?" Jared mumbles from my side, and,

I just woke him up again. I'm a horrible boyfriend.

 

But you're not his boy friend, are you? You're hardly friends, he hates you. And you're definitely not a boy.

...

Are you.

No. I'm not.

And you never will be. You were born this way, you'll stay this way. It doesn't matter if you get surgery or take T every month. You will always be a girl, Violet Hansen.

 

"Ev, baby it's okay, talk to me." Jared kisses my cheeks and my breath hitches in a feeble attempt to calm down.  
"I-I-I w-will ne-never b-be a guy. N-never, No m-m-matter w-hah-at." I wipe my face forcefully with my knuckles and lean into Jared's chest. "S-stop hu-humor-ing me b-because we all kn-know t-the truth."

"That's bullshit Evan." Connor mutters and wipes my face with his thumbs. "You know that's not true babe. You just feel really shitty right now, I get it."

Blood starts to leak out onto the towel (I've stopped giving a fuck) and I grit my teeth as I'm hit by another wave of cramps.  
"Hurts." I whimper and Jared rubs my back and shoulders.  
Connor's cold hands massage my stomach and I curl into myself.  
"Connor..."  
"What? What's wrong? Am I making it worse?" Con's hands leave and I pull them back.  
"N-no you're ma-making it so, so muc-ch better, it just h-hurts so much Con, it's never be-been this bad before," I whine in pain and Jared nuzzles the back of my neck.

"If I could, I'd trade with you." Jared sighs and it hurts even more to think about Jared in my position. A crying, bloody, insecure mess every month. 

No, that's unacceptable. I won't allow it.  
"Even if you could I wouldn't let you." A few stray tears fall onto Connor's shirt and I hold back a yelp.

Ohgodohgodohgodpleasepleaseno

I curl inward even more and let out tons of broken cries, Connor's whispering something soothing, and Jared's trying to distract me with whispered jokes and hugs.

"I love you." I sob and Jared and Connor both shift in surprise.  
"Uh? Where'd that come from?" Connor asks and I fist his shirt in my hands.  
"My heart. Cuddle me?" I bite my lip to stop myself from rambling and Connor shifts beneath me, so I'm half on top of him, half on the bed, and Jared's glued to the side that isn't pressed into Connor's chest.  
"Is this okay?"  
"I kinda of feel like I wet myself, but yeah. This is good."  
Connor laughs and kisses my hair, before closing his eyes.  
"Hey Ev, why can't you have everything?" Jared asks and I shake my head.

"I don't know, why?"  
"If you did, where would you put it?"  
"You're weird." I giggle and Jared sinks deeper into the mattress.  
"I love you Ev."  
"I love you too Jare. Connor,"  
One of Con's eyes crack open to look at me when he hears his name.  
I kiss his cheek and smile at him.  
"I love you."  
He flushes and nods,  
"Yeah."  
Jared bursts out laughing, and I start to laugh a little bit too as we watch horror slowly creep onto Connor's face.  
"I MEAN! I love you too! I love you too Ev I swear! I'm just really really tired!"  
"I know sweetheart." 

Con buries his face in his hands and then tugs me close.  
"Let's just go to sleep."  
"Mkay."

Wait.  
I have classes tomorrow, Er... Today.  
Fuck.

Jared's stupid airhorn alarm goes off at 5:30 and they both sleepily get up to brush their teeth and make breakfast. Jared kisses my cheek, "Love you Ev," and trudges  
downstairs to start cookng. Con tucks the blanket around me, turns the alarm on silent, and kisses my hair.  
"I'll come up to get you when breakfast is ready."

I sink deeper into the purple blanket and dread the day ahead of me.

What if we have to do a group project and I bleed through my pants? 

What if I don't wash my hands well enough and I smell like blood and people think I'm a serial killer?!?

What if I don't have enough pads? 

"Ev c'mon, Jare made eggs and shit. It looks really good." Connor shakes my shoulders lightly and I tug the blanket over my head.  
I'm too tired to comment on his choice of wording and decide to instead, block out the world.

"Evvvv~ There's a bowl of Lucky Charms out for yoouuuu, and they're gonna get soggy if we don't go now," Connor sings and I perk up a little bit.  
Lucky charms?  
"What's the ratio of marshmallow to cereal?"  
"Seven to ten?"  
"Close enough." I throw the blanket off and stand up to stretch.  
"I knew that'd get you up. You're such a crazy boy, I can't believe I get to date you." He murmurs and kisses my forehead again. Something he tends to do when he gets over protective or when he needs to take care of me.

Connor leads me down the stairs, and my chest bounces with every step.

I'm gonna throw up.

"Hey, love it's okay. Look, lucky charms remember? They're right in the kitchen waiting for you."  
I nod and sniff and take Connor's offered hand.  
He squeezes mine three times, our code for 'I love you', and traces little hearts all over the back of my hand with his thumb.  
"I-I lo-love y-you too, Con-Connor."  
Con smiles and kisses my cheek.  
"Love you more," He sighs and pulls me into the kitchen where Jared's making something rather aggressively. I sit down at the counter and watch as Con embraces Jared from behind and whispers something soft in his ear. Jare's ears go bright red at the tips and he shrugs.  
"It's nothing."

"No it's not nothing, I'm gonna spoil you because you made breakfast that's our rule remember?" Connor chuckles and Jare flushes.  
"okay." He says softly and sets the plates down.

Connor and Jared both look up at me in silence after sitting down, and 

Jesus they're waiting for me to eat first.

"You guys can start?" I murmur and my face burns. I don't like people watching me eat.

\--Time skip cause I can't describe eating without it sounding awkward--

Connor and Jared eventually have to rush because they have morning classes. Before Jared leaves he hugs me tightly and kisses me with a small sad noise.  
"I really really don't want to leave you alone babe." Jared whines and I'm tempted to tell him,  
Then don't. Just skip.

I kiss him back for a while and Connor chuckles,  
"Can I have a kiss or is Jared going to smuggle you into class?"  
Jared's arms tighten around my waist and he disconnects with a small whine.  
"I just might."  
Connor wraps something warm and soft around my shoulders, kisses my cheek, waves, and he and Jare are out the door.

Con's South Park jacket is on my back, and I'm wearing Jared's shirt and I feel little bit better. I eat the rest of my cereal and spend the few hours I have curled up on the couch in Connor's jacket.  
My phone goes off and our group chat has two new texts.

From : Con  
Dear Evan Hansen, today is going to be a good day and here's why, you have environmental science today! Also you're perfect and gorgeous and I love you.  
Sincerely, Me

From : iM nOt gAY yOurE gAY  
Dear Ev Boi, You're awesome and I love you. Have fun in your tree class today.  
Sincerely, Meme ,:/

To Group : moon landing was fake  
I love youu guys pleas.e come home soon 

iM nOt gAY yOurE gAY  
i plan on it ;)

To Group : moon landing was fake  
Jare,. Im literal bleedin from my vagina 

iM nOt gAY yOurE gAY  
doesn't make it any less hot

Con  
Love you too Ev!

To Group : moon landing was fake  
Paty attentinf to the lesson!

iM nOt gAY yOurE gAY  
make me 

To Group : moon landing was fake  
,:/

Con : read 10:47  
iM nOt gAY yOurE gAY : read 10:47

To Group : moon landing was fake  
Good. I love you sguys! Jare don't sleep during class! And Connor remeber to eat

iM nOt gAY yOurE gAY  
okay

Con  
I promise

To Group : moon landing was fake  
:)

I sit on the couch and watch Tom and Jerry until my alarm goes off.

20 MINUTES TO GET TO CLASS  
Urgency : !!!

I change my pad, pull on jeans, Connor's jacket, and I keep Jared's pajama shirt on because it's soft and warm.  
And is it weird to like the way someone smells? Because Jare always smells like Red Vines and Vanilla.  
And Connor's is oddly pleasant. It's smoke, dryer sheets, and paper.

The combination of the two is familiar and comforting to me. But to other people..... 

Plus the blood smell,  
Oh god someone's gonna smell it and think something died and they'll tell the teacher and the teacher will-

Focus.

I pack up my textbooks, throw a few tampons in there in case of an emergency, a water bottle, Advil, and my homework folder.  
After getting in my car, I look at the clock and realize I only have seven minutes to get there. I spent thirteen minutes getting ready?! Since when!

Either way I speed down the street at 35 when I'm supposed to be going 20. Sure, that's not much of a difference, go fuck yourself I still got a speeding ticket.  
I arrive at English just in time for roll (what college professor does roll anymore honestly) and I hurriedly pick a seat before anyone can object. I sit down in front and the teacher is droning on slowly.

White noise starts to ring in my ears and I drown him out until my head instinctively lifts up at the sound of my name.  
"Violet Hansen?" 

Come on any day but today.

My blood goes cold and I glare at the teacher with gritted teeth. There are so many eyes on me, my hands are sweaty and they slip out from their grip on my jeans. There's a soft click behind me and my ears buzz louder, almost drowning out his voice when he speaks again.

"Violet?"  
"Actually Sir, it's Evan. I tell you every class and I'd really appreciate it if you gave a shit and changed my name on the roster." I grit out and smile tightly at my English teacher.  
Mr. G gives me a once over, says nothing.  
And he continues.  
"What did I do wrong?" I ask with a tight smile and the room goes silent.  
"Are you ignoring me for cussing or existing? Because you're being rather unclear."

He continues to take roll and moves on to the lesson.  
"Mr. G it'd be really fucking great if you'd listen for two goddamn seconds."

What am I Connor? God what am I doing? I could get expelled-

Evan. Defend yourself.

The guy next to me snickers and there's a click from somewhere behind me.  
I raise my hand and Mr. G blinks in my direction. Completely uninterested.  
"Are you deaf or just stupid? I tell you my name every class and you refuse to acknowledge me."  
Someone snorts and laughter breaks out among my classmates.  
Mr. G calmly walks over to his desk, writes something out, rips it forcefully, and slaps it down on my desk.

Two yellow notes.  
One for disrupting the class, and another for being 'disrespectful to the teacher.'

I stop interrupting, because any confidence I had before is drained.  
"Hey dude, you're pretty cool." The kid next to me hands me a piece of paper with his number on it.

Adrian  
(xxx) xxx-xxxx

"Oh uh I have a boyfriend." I mumble and he laughs.  
"Yeah? And I'm straight. I just want to talk to you, you seem interesting." He laughs and I blush.  
"Sorry, and yes! I will text you." I smile and Mr. G clears his throat.  
"Adrian, Violet, no flirting during my lecture." He frowns and turns back to the board.

Violet.

Adrian winces, "What a dick. You okay man?"  
I nod despite the twisting feeling in my stomach. (And no that's not just cramps)  
"Yeah. I think so."

Mr. G starts going over something stupid and boring. Who does he think he is?  
"Hey, don't you usually sit in the back?" Adrian asks and I nod.  
"Yeah, but I needed a seat closer to the bathroom."  
Adrian nods with a small smile, seeming to catch what I meant.  
"You're like crazy strong to be able to deal man. My girlfriend Lily always cries and takes sick days and shit. What's it feel like?" 

"Like cramps you get when you exercise but it's in your stomach, and whenever you sneeze it feels like you pissed yourself. And pads are just really f-freaking gross, and you have to p-put tampons i-in-"  
I stop myself when Adrian sticks his tongue out between his teeth.  
Adrian turns back to the board with bright red cheeks.  
"And now I know why Lil needs ice cream every shark week."  
I can't help but laugh.  
"Shark week?"  
"That's what her family calls it. When she was younger, she tore up the house and yelled at anyone who tried to talk to her. Now she's kind of like a sick puppy." He chuckles fondly and leans back in his chair.

I plug his information into my phone and make his icon the trans flag with the words ALLY written in the white stripe.

My stomach tightens up and I raise my hand.  
Mr. G ignores me.  
"Sir."  
Nothing.  
"Sir." I say a little more forcefully.  
Still Nothing.  
"Mr. G, I'll stop bothering you if you let me go to the restroom."

"Are you going to go to the right restroom?" He asks nonchalantly as he writes something on the board.  
"Does where I piss bother you, Sir?"  
He stops listening. I bring my knees in and curl up into a ball in my chair.  
I just want to go home.

Adrian nudges me,  
"Dude just go. If it hurts that bad, go."  
I nod and get up out of my seat. Adrian inhales sharply and pulls me back down.  
He takes Connor's hoodie off the back of my chair and pushes it into my arms,  
"Tie it around your waist."  
"Fucking shit." I hiss and take it from him.

"Is there something wrong Ms. Hansen?"  
My cheeks burn and tears prick at the corners of my eyes in embarrassment.  
"Noth-Nothing's w-wrong sir." I choke and Adrian pats the back of my chair.  
"It's okay man. What class do you have next?"  
"Environmental S-Science."  
"That sounds really cool. Tell me about it."  
"Y-you don't ha-have t-to humor me."  
"No seriously. I'm in Marine Biology, trust me, I like facts about nature."

I ramble for a long time, and then Mr. G caps his marker.  
"Class dismissed."  
I take a picture of the board and Adrian smiles brightly and nudges my arm.  
"Text me dude."  
I nod and take out my phone.

To : Adrian  
its evann

His phone pings in his pocket and he gives me two thumbs up.

When I get out of the lecture hall, it's a lot hotter than this morning and I practically glare at anyone who walks past. My phone buzzes and Jared's icon stares back at me when I open my phone.

I tap the green button and bring the phone up to my ear.  
"Hello?"  
"EV! HAVE YOU SEEN THIS?!?" Jared screeches excitedly.  
"What?"  
My phone pings loudly,

iM nOt gAY yOurE gAY  
LOOK!!! [link attached]

I open the link, and stay on the phone with Jared on my way to class.  
"Jared what is this?"  
"LOOK AT HOW MANY VEIWS THERE ARE! FOUR THOUSAND SIX HUNDRED AND THIRTY NINE!! YOU'RE FAMOUS EVAN HANSEN!!!!" Jared laughs and I press play on the video.

'Actually Sir, it's Evan. I tell you every class and I'd really appreciate it if you gave a shit and changed my name on the roster.'

"Wait... That's me?"  
Jared laughs loudly in response to my confusion.

'What did I do wrong?'  
[silence]  
'Are you ignoring me for cussing or existing? Because you're being rather unclear.'

'YOU GO EVAN HANSEN!'  
Flashes across the screen in bright lights.

"What the heck?"  
"Ev the internet is blowing up about you! And they're already writing fanfictions about you and some guy named Adrian? Con's super jealous btw."  
Connor's voice is faint and in the background, but I hear a soft, 'Of fucking course I'm jealous, if I meet this Adrian guy I'm gonna shove a food truck up his ass.'

"B-but why?"  
"Why what?" Jared asks and something shifts on the other end.  
"Why am I famous?"  
"You've become a literal hero for Trans boys and girls everywhere!" Jared squeals.  
"Aren't you excited?!" 

"I-I mean I like being a hero? But I don't like people shipping me 'n sh-stuff."  
"Whatever babe. I still think it's really cool that you stood up for yourself today."  
I flush and run a hand through my hair.  
"You think so?" 

Connor groans in the background,  
'bitch we know so'  
"Yeah Ev." I can hear the smile in Jared's voice and can't help but smile too.  
"U-uh okay, love you, I'm- I have to go to class? But I'll be back-"  
"Yeah go tree boy, you'll be back by 3:00 we know. Knock yourself out."

Jared hangs up with a quick I love you, and I hurry into the building before I sweat out all the liquid in my body.

While I'm walking down the halls a girl with a bright blue streak in her hair, stops in front of me and holds out her fist. At first I thought she was gonna punch me but she smiles like she's waiting... Oh.  
"Fuck the man." She proclaims as I awkwardly fist bump her. She smiles brightly, and then walks away.

What just happened?

A few more people come up to me, patting me on the back, smiling in my direction, actively talking to me during class, and I thought I would hate it.

It's nice. Not being invisible.

Yeah.

I like being popular.

When I started answering questions in class, I had everyone's attention. With people hanging on my every word, I felt... Oddly powerful.  
And I know that sounds bad! But having this, whatever it is, is amazing and new.

I leave class with a smile on my face, previous dread completely forgotten. I text Adrian about meeting for lunch and meeting Lily sometime and I tell him about Jared and Connor. 

Two hands come down on my shoulders and I shriek and cover my face.

"Who're you texting Ev?" Jared asks with a sly smirk and my lungs open back up.

"Holy fu-frick Jare, don't do that."  
"Why? Are you watching porn or something?" Jare snickers and I blush and try to backtrack.  
"J don't tease him." Connor berates from behind him and Jared shrugs.

"What's up Ev?" Con asks with a smile as he laces our fingers together.  
"Uh Adrian wants to meet you guys?"  
Connor growls something low and his hand starts shaking slightly in mine.  
"Con?"  
"I swear to god I'm gonna kill him." He grunts and pulls me into his side with a hand around my waist.  
"Babe-"  
"I'm gonna throw him off a bridge."  
"Baby-"  
"I can't believe he would-"  
"Connor love," I grip his hand tightly and he makes a soft noise.  
"Adrian is straight and he has a girlfriend."  
Jared laughs and pokes Connor's cheek a couple times.  
"Someone's jealous!" He sings and Connor smacks his hands away angrily.

"I wouldn't be, if you didn't read some of the fanfiction with breathy high pitched voices!" He growls and Jared laughs.  
"Oh god it was so bad!" He clears his throat.

" 'Evan! Not here, Mr. G will be back any minute!' Adrian moans, Evan smirks and rides Adrian harder, 'I don't care.' "  
Jared whines and hangs off of Connor's shoulder, with a hand dramatically thrown across his forehead, and the performance fit with high pitched moans and deep growls.  
Connor shoves him and Jared falls dramatically to the ground.

"Help! Life Alert!" He screeches, and lays back on the concrete. "I've been pushed by a local edgy teen and can't get up!"  
I giggle behind my hand and Connor swivels around to glare at me.  
"What the fuck? You too?" He growls and edges closer. His eyes burn and I gently lower my hands and look up sincerely.  
"Connor, we're not making fun of you." I say slowly and Connor gets closer.  
"Treating me like a little kid now? What are you scared I'm gonna-" His hand raises and I flinch.  
He stops with wide eyes, and then they seem to relight and flicker in the sun. He shoves his hands into his hoodie pockets.

"Fuck you both. Go have lunch without me." He stomps off and Jared stares up at me from the ground.

"Ev was he gonna-" He starts and gets up to check on me.  
"I don't think so." I say and tears well up in my eyes.  
"I just-" I shudder and break down in Jared's arms.  
"I didn't mean to laugh at him Jared. Does he hate me know? Is he leaving us? I don't want him to leave Jared I love him so much." I sob and big shiny tears slide down my face.  
"Hey Ev it's okay, he's just going to cool off."  
"What if he isn't? What if he's bleeding out somewhere and I'm not there to save him? Oh god I don't want him to die please please please Jared we have to find him, we can't let him die he's our everything. I w-wouldn't be able to-"  
"Deep breaths Evan." Jared says softly, but I can tell he's worried. He has to keep a level head, because what good are we to Connor if we both panic the moment he leaves?

"Evan we're gonna go the direction he went, okay? He can't be too far but we have to go now." I nod and Jared and I rush down the sidewalk, searching for a boy with long brown hair, painted nails, and combat boots. Seems easy?  
No.  
I start to panic after fifteen minutes and Jared grabs my hand and looks up at me.  
"Let's go to the car, this isn't easy on foot."  
We make our way back to Jared's red jeep and through the window we see an outline of a person in the backseat.  
"Holy fuck." Jared sighs in relief and unlocks the car.  
Connor looks up from the seat in the way back, his phone is plugged into the aux cord and it's blasting my anxiety help file. I waste no time and crawl into the back, and Connor shrinks away from me.

I hug his middle tightly and start to sob. Jared climbs back with me and sits on Connor's other side to cage him in. Jare tugs him in tightly and muffles his cries against his hoodie.  
"Never do that again! I was- We were so scared you had- that you- left us. Please text me next time."  
He pats the back of my head uncomfortably and I look up through my tears.  
"Y-you're not mad?" He whispers and I frown.

Now I'm mad.

"Why would I be mad!" I shout and grip his face, "You're my everything! My Connor Murphy! And you stomped off without telling us where you were going!"  
Connor eyes glisten and he shifts in his seat.  
"I almost punched you." He says softly and I bring his eyes back over to mine.  
"But did you."  
"Ev-"  
"Did your fist connect with my face."  
"Evan,"  
"Answer the fucking question."  
"No but,"  
"Done. Case closed."  
Connor grips my shirt collar and presses our foreheads together.

"I a-almost hit you. Evan. I love you, I never want to hurt you," He sniffs and starts to cry. "And I had to struggle to stop myself. That's awful. I love you Evan Hansen. I love you so much,"  
His entire body shudders and I hold him as he cries.  
"Evan, I love you. Please you have to know that I love you." 

"Why do you keep saying that?"

"B-because what if one day, I go crazy and I can't stop? What then? You live in fear? No, you'd leave. You'd both leave. And I'd end up right back at square one-"

"It doesn't matter if you go crazy. I love you, and I'm not going anywhere. If you go insane, I'll be here for you." 

Connor sobs harder and Jared's body shakes as he struggles to breathe.  
Jared pulls away from Connor, and turns Con towards him.

SLAP

"That's for leaving without a warning!"  
Connor's hand comes up to his red cheek and he shudders, tears falling faster.  
Jared connects their lips in a weepy kiss, and Connor tugs Jared close.  
Jare pulls back and leans into his chest.  
"And that was because I love you, even though you're an absolute shit head."  
Connor laughs wetly.  
"I know. I'm sorry. Jared I love you too. Please promise me you'll throw me out if I-"  
"I would never throw you out Connor."  
"Then hit me. Kick, scream, call 9-1-1 just stop me before I hurt one of you."  
Jared sniffs and clutches at Connor's hoodie.  
"I could never hit you, Not even if you were going to hurt me."  
"Jared please-"  
"I. Am. Not. Going. To. Hit. You. I may call for help, but I will not hurt you. Ever."

Connor cries harder and I climb out to the front seat.  
He tries to grab for me, I kiss the back of his hand, and settle in front of the steering wheel. Jared and Connor melt together and I check the mirrors before slowly pulling out of our parking space.

"Let's go home." I say softly and Jared and Connor's protests are both drowned out by me turning the radio on.  
"Ev you still have another class-"  
"Shhhhhhh."  
"Ev baby-"  
"Sh."

Jared frowns and starts rubbing Connor's back to help him breathe.  
Con chokes a little bit and curls up in Jared's lap.  
'How is he?' I mouth to Jared and he shakes his head sadly.  
"Do you feel any better Con?" I ask as softly as I can and he laughs through a sob.  
"I feel like shit Ev."  
"Big mood." Jared whispers and Connor laughs a little louder.

When we get home Connor curls up into a ball on the couch, tucking his knees as close as he can. His hair splays out around him on the couch cushion, and you'd have to be right next to his mouth to hear his bitten back sobs.  
Jared instantly curls around him and Connor covers his face with his hair more.  
"Hey love I'm gonna make lunch what do you want?" I whisper softly and Connor shudders for breath.  
"Uh. I don't know. You pick."  
"Jared? Any requests?" I ask him and he shrugs.

"Why was I cursed with two indecisive boyfriends?"  
Connor and Jared gasp in mock surprise,  
"I mean, I love you!"  
Jared grumbles something that sounds like, "Why are the cute ones so mean?"  
Connor laughs softly and tugs Jared down so they can cuddle properly.

"Are you sure you don't want anything in specific?" I ask again and they both shrug. 

I look through the cupboards and the fridge for something, and find a box of steak from Chin Chins.  
I pop it into the microwave and grab three forks, and make my way over to them with the to go box.

"Evan Hansen, have I ever mentioned that I love you? Because right now I'm swooning." Jared sighs when I place it down on the coffee table.  
He smooches my cheek and then tugs me down next to Connor.  
Jared and I eat while Connor stares off into the distance.  
"Hey babe,"  
I murmur and bring my fork up to his face.  
"You need to eat Con."  
He gently pushes it out of the way with a blush.  
"I'm not a child."  
"No you're not, you're my boyfriend that's not eating anything. Let me baby you?" 

Connor flushes and lets me feed him, slowly getting more and more embarrassed as time goes on.

Eventually he takes the fork from me, and starts to eat normally.  
"Ev you're too good for me." He whispers, moving the food around in the box.  
I blush and look down.  
"You know that right? Way too good."  
Silence takes over and Connor pulls me into his lap for a hug.  
"I love you."  
Jared sniffs and Connor grabs his hand and pulls him up too.  
"Two boys, one dick." Jared laughs and Con flushes darkly.  
"Stop voicing my fantasies and just let us be wholesome Jared."  
Jared snickers and puts his arm around my waist.

My stomach cramps up again and I cuddle closer to Connor.  
"C-Connor," I whimper and he rubs my back.  
"I'm so sorry baby, it'll be over soon."  
Jared kisses my cheeks and snuggles his face into my neck.  
"Still up for trading with you babe." Jared murmurs and I shake my head.  
"Would a blowjob make you feel better?"

Heat stirs in my stomach but I shriek at him instead of encourage it.  
"Jared!"  
"Okay okay baby it was just a joke." He chuckles and rubs my thigh sweetly. At least his crude jokes distracted me a little bit.  
"Want an ice pack? Tea? Connor's di-"  
Connor smacks the back of Jared's head lightly.  
"No more teasing J."  
Jared blushes and gently shoves Connor deeper into the couch.  
"You only call me that because you know I'll listen!" He whines and Connor smiles innocently.  
"What, J?"

Jared groans and embraces me.  
"Yes that. Stop it Connie."  
Connor flushes and shrugs.  
"Okay." He says softly and they both cuddle me.  
I kiss Connor and Jared a couple times, but I can't for very long, they taste like Chinese food.  
Which I mean, isn't bad, but not exactly sexy either.

NOT LIKE IM TRYING TO SEDUCE THEM HAHAHAHAH

"Evan, did you hear me?"  
I blink and Jared's gently shaking my shoulder.  
"N-No sorry."  
"You're super handsome, like wow? And Connor? You're so beautiful, and I'm so lucky." He sighs and pulls me closer.  
"I love you guys."  
Connor purrs softly and leans their foreheads together.  
"Love you too J."  
"Stop it with that nickname Con!" He whines and I smile.  
"I love you Jare Bear."

Jared goes bright red and sputters something unintelligible.  
"Guys seriously, you know I'm weak."  
He leans into my chest and I flush and try not to move around too much.  
"Babe your mouth is seriously close to places it shouldn't be close to."  
Jare moves his face into my neck when he hears me squeak.  
"Sorry not sorry."

They're both so warm.

"Ev you're so soft. Not like physically though, like emotionally? Just so soft and warm and sweet." Connor sighs and tucks a strand of my hair behind my ear.

"Wanna go upstairs or stay down here?" I whisper and Connor laughs.  
"I think my legs are asleep, No stairs for me. J you up for it?"  
Jared groans and slumps his shoulders down.  
"Don't make me get up man."  
"Mkay. Two votes for staying." Connor says softly.  
"Three votes." I sigh and Connor's arms squeeze my middle.  
"Such a soft boy." He sighs and my heart swells.  
Boyboyboyboyboy


	9. Jared, stop hitting Connor

Thursday Night.  
Date night.  
And I'm the only one coming up with ideas. Con and Ev are practically brain dead by now, and Connor's lazily scrolling through tumblr while we talk.  
"We could.... Go to a movie?" I suggest and Connor groans.  
"Babe I'm done with movies, we watch like... Five every night."  
Evan nods and lays his head back on the pillow.

"We could go to the orcha-"  
"Ev baby, we go to the orchard every week." Connor sighs and quickly adds,  
"Not that I don't like going to the orchard with you, I just wanna go somewhere new."  
Evan hums and pokes my arm multiple times.  
"Babe."  
"Yes Ev?"  
"Where do you wanna go?" He asks with a smile and I blush.  
"I mean uh, I don't know. The mall maybe? Or Starbucks... I'm not good with date ideas."  
Evan smiles,  
"The mall sounds good. We could go get hot chocolate or something. What about that Con?"  
Connor smiles and sits up.  
"Yeah actually, let's go destroy the Macy's."

"Connor-"  
He gets up and bounces on his heels.  
"No I'm pumped! Let's go!"  
"Con we're not destroying Macy's." Evan scolds and Connor pouts.  
"Please Ev? At least let me wreack havoc at the Halloween Supply store."  
"You got kicked out of the Halloween store last year." He huffs and Connor sits next to me really closely.  
"Babe, can you push me around in a shopping cart? I'll buy you a lush gift card." Connor murmurs and Evan frowns.  
"Jared don't listen-"  
"Deal." I say and we shake hands.  
"God dammit." Evan sighs and gets up off the couch.  
"I'm gonna go put my binder on and then we'll head out, okay?"  
Evan retreats up the stairs and Connor spreads out on the couch.

"Hey... If you got your leg cut off. Would it hurt?"  
"Of fucking course Connor, someone cut your leg off!"  
"But where would you feel the pain?"  
"The place where it got cut off!"  
Connor starts giggling and I smack the back of his head.  
"Con be honest. Are you high?"  
He smiles and looks up at me. Eyes normal color, but his pupils are dilated.  
"Nope. Just super giddy and in love with you guys." He sighs and gives me a huge messy kiss on the corner of my mouth. I wipe his spit off my face and he smiles cheekily.  
"You sure as hell can't kiss, but I love you too."

Evan comes downstairs with a huge puffy blue jacket on and a purple scarf.  
"Ev you look great!" Connor hums and tries to grab him.  
Evan smacks his hands away lightly and wraps the scarf around Connor's neck.  
"Con I know you hate fall, go get a jacket."  
"But I wanna squeeze the air out of yours!" Connor pouts and Evan rolls his eyes and leans into his open arms.  
A big puff of air escapes when Connor hugs him and he kisses Evan's cheeks.  
"Okay Con, go get a jacket now."  
Connor whines and pinches Evan's thigh.  
"CONNOR!" Ev yelps and he finally listens and runs over to the closet. Nothing is more scary than an angry Evan Hansen.

Maybe an angry Heidi Hansen, but I've never experienced that, nor do I want to.  
"Jared are you good or do you want a sweater?" Con asks as he accidentally knocks three hangers down. You'd think with his longer limbs he'd be less clumsy.  
"Can I just wear one of your hoodies?"  
Connor nods and I take the stairs two at a time.

When I get to our room, there are clothes and pajamas all over the floor, and three of Con's hoodies laid on the bed.  
One of them is blue with a menorah on the front (Heidi made it for him),  
Another is purple, and the last one is blue with white stars and buttons sewn into the cuffs of his sleeves.  
I take the (obviously) Coraline themed jacket and slip it over my head, almost immediately regretting it.  
I have to leave it unzipped because I'm too-

"JARE! Baby! We're leaving!" Evan calls up the stairs. I sniff and wipe my eyes.  
"Coming!" I yell back and Connor starts to laugh.  
"THATS WHAT HE SAID!" He giggles and Evan sighs loudly.  
"Jare come downstairs before I strangle Connor."  
"KINKY!" I yell and Evan taps his foot against the floor with a huff.  
I run down the stairs and catch them at the door.

"Babe you weren't actually going to leave without me were you?" I ask and Evan shrugs. A big gust of wind hits Connor in the face when he opens the door and he immediately shuts it.  
"Fuck. That."  
He goes over to the couch and lays down on his stomach.  
"Connie it's date night, we're not staying in for three in a row." Evan frowns and puts his hands on his hips. Connor gets up and walks back over aggressively.  
"Fine. But I want all the heaters on blast and a hot chocolate."  
Connor links his arm with Evan's and our blond boyfriend smiles.  
"I think I can manage that for you."  
Evan opens the door again and Connor sinks into his jacket with a hiss sound.

"Cmon Babe, it's nice! Look at all the trees! Their leaves are orange and yellow and red.... Well except for a few that don't change, but it's Fall baby! Enjoy it!" Evan smiles and kisses Connor's cheek. Con blushes and wraps an arm around my waist.  
He doesn't seem as excited about nature as Evan, but at least he's humoring him.  
Evan forces us into Connor's car because he does  
'not want to drive his Prius to the park, people will yell at him,' and he doesn't want to be in the jeep because  
'people always make jokes about overcompensating for something.'

I mean, Connor's car is okay... It's a mustang I think? It's hard to tell when it's so scratched up.  
And it's a convertible so that's a plus.  
Con and I Rock Paper Scissors for who should drive and I lose to him immediately.  
"Babe, why are you doing this to me!" I whine and Connor kisses my hair.  
"You picked where we're going, you have to drive. Also I'm not driving in this weather." He smiles and climbs into the passenger seat.  
Ev leans over to sit between us and I turn out of our driveway towards the mall.

"It's your car Twenty One Pilots, I shouldn't be driving it."  
Connor kisses my cheek and my brain short circuits.  
"Uh."  
Con laughs and lays a hand on my thigh.  
"What was that Jared?"  
"S-shut the fuck up." I mumble and his hand slides up and down gently.  
"Aw is someone getting a little hot under the collar? Your lisp is back." Connor hums amusedly and his hand dips to my inner thigh, gently tracing my stretch marks.  
"Connor don't tease him, you know we'll have to pull over if you both go too far." Evan laughs softly and Connor's hand trails closer to my crotch.

"What if I suck him off while he drives?" He murmurs and I flush hotly, trying to focus on the road.  
"H-How about we not do that?" I murmur shakily and Connor pouts and crosses his arms.  
"I want your dick though." My leg feels cold where he pulled away and Con sticks his tongue out at me.  
"Fine, no blow job for you then."

We pull into the parking lot and I have to take a couple minutes before we can leave the car.  
"This is your fault." I hiss to Connor and he snickers.  
"No it's your dicks fault for getting aroused."  
I punch him in the arm and he frowns and rubs the bruise.  
"Ev babe, Jared's being mean to me." He murmurs softly and Evan lightly smacks us both.  
"Connor no teasing next time, and Jared don't punch your boyfriend."  
Con pouts and leans his head on my shoulder.  
"What if I just gave you a hand job? A real quick one and then you'd be blissed out." Connor offers and It's torture to say no.  
"Babe come on let's just wait okay?" I protest weakly and Con takes my hand and kisses the back of it.  
"Okay love. But just for the record, I love that face you make after you orgasm because you're satisfied and I love when you feel safe." Connor murmurs and leans over to kiss me then Evan.

"You too Ev. I love taking care of you." Con sighs and they purr soft things to each other while my hard on dies.  
"Okay we can go wreck the Macy's now." I say softly and unclip my seatbelt.  
Wreck.  
Bad choice of wording.  
"Oh really? I thought Connor was going to 'wreck' you instead?" Evan snickers and I adjust my pants.  
"Ev do you want to go get hot chocolate or not? Because if you say anything else suggestive, you and Connor are going to have mouthfuls of come." I point at them both accusingly, Connor moans and Evan pulls a disgusted face.  
"Please~"  
"Gross babe."  
God dammit his fucking moan.  
I clip my seatbelt back in and cross my arms.

"Wait baby are you hard again?" Connor asks and I nod silently.  
He grabs my shoulders and kisses my neck.  
"Can I please just put you out of your misery? I swear it won't take long and I'll make you feel so good." Connor pleads and I flush and gently thread my hands through his hair.  
"Guys come back here if you want to fuck." Ev sighs and reaches out his hand. I remove my seatbelt hastily and take his hand so I can climb into the back.  
"I just wanted to have a pure date." Evan whispers angrily and Connor laughs.  
"Baby it's never pure with Jare and I."  
The second we're in the back Connor pins me down and unzips my pants.

One of the things that I love about Connor; he takes what he wants.

"There right there! That face." Connor points at me victoriously and I cover my eyes.  
He pulls my hands away and shushes me sweetly.  
"No don't cover yourself up, I love when you're blissed out."  
I zip my pants back up and Evan looks up from his phone.  
"Can we go now?" He asks with an exhausted tone and Connor kisses his cheek.  
"Yeah, just needed to take care of our boy."  
"Sure you did." Evan murmurs and Connor gasps.  
"You would leave our boyfriend with a painful boner like that, what kind of a monster are you in disguise of Evan?!?"  
Evan giggles and Connor grabs my hand and we leave the car.

Connor starts to shiver once we go through the sliding glass doors.  
"Con are you cold?" Evan laughs and I can see his hair curling.  
It gets really really frizzy when he's cold and when he's hot (I mean temp cause he's always hot) it lays flat and gets really dark.  
I swear his hair has a mind of it's own.

"Yes I'm fucking cold it's like 30 degrees in here!" He hisses and rubs at his arms.  
"First of all babe, stop yelling the f word there are kids here, and second of all it's not 30 degrees." I state and Connor glares at me.  
He grumbles under his breath and stuffs his hands into his pockets.  
"Are your hands cold love?" Evan asks and Connor nods. I take one and Evan takes the other and Connor sighs softly underneath his breath.  
"Thank you." He murmurs and kisses each of us on the cheek.

We decide on getting our drinks first and the Starbucks employee writes Ezra on Evan's cup, Jasmine on mine, and she changes the second o in Connor's name to an e and removes one of the n's.  
Coner.  
I snort and my tall boyfriend gives me a dirty look.  
"Damn Starbucks! Back at it again with that Coner!" I laugh loudly and Con takes a long sarcastic sip from his coffee.  
"I will punt you into the sun small fry don't test me." Connor glares down at me and I put my hands on my hips.  
"You wouldn't while I was wearing your hoodie!"  
Connor shrugs and Evan laughs.  
I give Connor a big obnoxious kiss, and he lets me, putting an arm around my waist.  
"You're lucky you're such a good kisser you little shit." He murmurs and takes another sip of his drink.  
I follow suit with mine and shove my cup at Evan.  
"Babe try this. It's really good."  
Ev turns the cup around cautiously to check what it is.  
"Pumpkin spice Jared? Really? No wonder they changed your name to Jasmine."  
"Just try it Ev!" I wave my hands at him and he takes the smallest sip that I have ever seen in all my years of existence. What are you, a fucking hamster?  
Evan blushes and passes it back to me.  
"Well?"  
"It was... Okay I guess." He lies and plays with the cardboard on the cup.  
"You liar. It was delicious and you know it."  
Evan blushes and shrugs and then we start to window shop, Connor tries to hide in hot topic as a joke, but he comes out with a big bag of pins and nail polish.  
"Connor how much did you buy." Evan asks and Con picks up a bottle of blue polish and shows it to Evan.  
"Ev baby it glows in the dark, I had to." He sighs with his Evan Melting™ voice.  
Evan softens but still manages to frown.  
"Next time, Jared and I are going in with you so you don't waste our rent money."  
Connor scoffs,  
"Rent is temporary, Nail polish is forever."  
Ev giggles despite losing the battle (for the fifth time this week) and he wraps his arm around Connor's waist.

"You're so cute." Evan sticks his tongue out between his teeth and takes a sip of his hot chocolate.  
"Sure I am, and the sky is purple." He snarks and I crack my knuckles.  
"Uh actually the sky isn't blue Connor, we just perceive it as blue... In actuality we should be seeing a violet sky." I say smugly and Connor's face goes red.  
"What, did you happen to research that last night?" Connor sputters and I laugh,  
"No I was too busy getting plowed into the mattress. That's just something every smart person knows," I wink at him and Connor huffs.  
"I practically have straight A's fuck off,"  
"Are they all A+'s?" I ask and Connor clenches his jaw.  
"No,"  
I slide my arm around his waist and give him a soft kiss on his neck.  
"It's okay babe, we can't all be geniuses like me."  
Connor scoffs even though he leans into the kiss.  
"That's just cause you're fucking all the teachers."  
"That's a cute conspiracy theory, but no, the only people who fucked me recently are you and Evan."  
Connor puts his hand over my whole face and shoves me back.  
"Shutup nerd,"  
And like a mature adult, I lick his hand.

Connor yelps and pulls his hand away from me, pressing up against Evan for protection.  
"Evan he just licked me!" Connor pouts and Ev gently pets his head.  
"Are you both going to play nice or are we going to have to go home early?" He directs this question to both of us.

"Nooooooo Evvvvv come on!"  
"Evannnnn we haven't gone to the Halloween store yet!"

"Then be nice," He scolds and lightly smacks us both on the backs of the heads.  
"Okay!"  
"Jesus!"  
Evan hits me again,  
"Don't call me Jesus."  
"I didn't mean it like that!" I screech and he smiles.  
"Where did you want to go Con?"  
Connor starts rocking back and forth on the balls of his feet.  
"I really want to go to the Halloween store! We don't have our costumes yet and Zoe's throwing a party."  
Evan nods and we make our way to the back of the mall.

I do end up pushing Connor through the store in a cart, but we crash into a wall and Evan has to apologize to the manager.  
"I'm sorry, my friends are so stupid," Evan sighs and Connor goes red.  
"Just keep them away from the cart area." She sighs and Evan drags us over to the costume section.  
Ev looks down at the ground as we pass the female outfits and I snort and grab a sexy nurse costume off the shelf.  
"Connor should wear this whenever we're sick," I giggle and Connor blushes, taking it from me and chucking it back where I found it.  
Evan laughs and I need to write, Made Evan happy, in my résumé because damn do I feel fucking accomplished.  
We get to the male costumes and Evan is immediately drawn to the ghostbuster outfit.  
"Oh my god you're such a nerd!" Connor whispers fondly as Evan drops it into the cart.  
"What do you guys wanna be?" He asks and I shrug.

"Oh! I know what I want!" I say proudly and Evan and Connor stare at me in confusion.  
"A sexy policeman!" I grin confidently and Evan has to lean on the shelf so he won't collapse.  
"Jesus!" He laughs and Connor covers his mouth.  
"Fine, what great ideas do you have Mr. Murphy?"  
Connor shrugs,  
"I was going to be Alexander Hamilton."  
I pause and Evan stops laughing.  
"Huh. Fitting." I conclude and he nods and rushes off to the accessories aisle.  
"No but seriously Jare, what are you going as." Evan asks and puts his arm around my waist.  
"I. want. to. go. as. something. sexy. Connor will fuck me against a wall if I do." I demand and Evan flushes brightly.  
"It is nice when he gets aggressive... Okay I'll help you find something, but you can't go all out. Don't need anyone taking what's mine," He whispers softly in my ear and Evan and I rush over to the 'adult' costumes.  
It's mainly women's, but we eventually find a sexy cat outfit.  
"Oooh you know what J? I think I have a plug with a tail attached somewhere."  
"What? Why?!? Damn it I knew Connor was a furry,"  
"I'm a what now?" Connor scoffs and dumps his bags in the cart.  
"A furry." I say simply and Connor looks down at the costume we picked out and then back at me.  
"If anyone's a furry babe, it's you." 

I squawk and hit Connor in the face with my jacket sleeve.  
Connor grumbles something and Evan smacks us again.  
"Ouch!"  
"Hey he started it!"  
"Can't you boys be civil for one date?" Evan asks and Connor smirks,  
"No."  
"Yes."  
Connor scruffs up my hair and I pull his hood down over his eyes.

Evan has to drag us out of the store and Connor is forced to sit in the passenger seat so he and I are separated.  
"I can't believe you both started angrily making out in a public place." Evan sighs disappointedly as he flicks the turn signal on. Connor shrugs,  
"It's the only way to shut that boy up, I had to."  
"Oh so you had to grab his ass too?" Evan runs a hand through his hair as he says this and Connor nods.  
"Have you seen his ass? A+ 10/10, so plush I would sleep on it."  
I bite my lip to stop laughing.  
"Jared you wanna explain why you retaliated with giving him the biggest hickey I have ever seen?" Evan adjusts the mirror to look at me and I wink.  
"It was self defense baby."  
Evan rolls his eyes,  
"Hey Connor, sweetheart, love of my life, could you pass me my drink?" Evan sighs sweetly and Connor holds it out for him.  
Evan doesn't bother taking his hands off the wheel,  
"Babe can I have my hot chocolate?" Evan asks again and Connor frowns,  
"Look, are you blind? It's right here." He waves it in front of Evan's face and then realization dawns on him.  
"You want me to feed you."  
Evan smiles, nods and Connor's spine turns to rubber and he helps Evan take a sip.  
Ev beckons Connor over and then he gives him a soft kiss on the cheek.

"Thank you my love."  
"Yeah yeah whatever." Connor blushes and places the cup down in his cup holder.  
"When we get home I want a kiss from Jare too," Evan hums and winks at me in the mirror.  
"You don't even have to ask baby, I will kiss the living day lights out of you."  
"Good cause that's exactly what I want." Evan smiles and Connor waves out a hand for me to take.  
I take it with a smile in their direction and Con squeezes it softly.  
"I can't wait to get home."


	10. #LetJaredridehisboys

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Evan used to watch Milo and Otis with his mom after the u haul truck and you can f I g h t me

"Connnnnnn. Con, babe I'm bored." I whine at Connor's unmoving form on the couch. We've been watching The Other Guys since we got home, and he's hardly said a word to me.  
"If you're bored watch the movie." Con suggests and I nudge him with my feet.  
"Baaaabbbbbeee."   
"Jare please."  
"Baaaaaaaaaabbbbbbbbeeeee. Let's do something! Like go outside or bake-"  
"Or watch the movie that's almost over."  
"Coooonnnnooor!"  
"Jaaaaaaarreeeee!"  
I shift over and sit in his lap to block his view of the screen.  
"Jared-"  
"Con please? Let's cuddle or..."   
I kiss him softly and tighten my arms around his waist. After a while I pull away and he chases my lips with a small moan.

"Come on, let's have a make out sesh."  
"God you're so hyper." Connor groans and starts kissing my neck gently.  
I run my fingers through his hair and tug when he bites down. He shifts closer and grinds against my ass slowly. I moan as Con tugs me back and forth on his lap, fighting for control.  
"Jare why are your lips so soft?" Connor mumbles into my cheek and I shrug.  
"Why are yours so addicting?" I sigh and Con snorts.  
"That was cheesy as hell babe." He presses another kiss against my jaw and whimpers when I squeeze his hips with my thighs.  
"I know. You liked it though." I murmur and Connor laughs.  
"Yeah okay, I did. It was good cheesy."

I lift Connor's chin up and connect our lips again and Con's arms wrap around my neck. He tastes like pizza and Diet Coke.   
I laugh and pull away.  
"You taste like Chuck E. Cheese."   
"I take offense to that." He mutters and leans back in for another kiss.  
"Should I have brushed my teeth or am I okay?"   
He hums thoughtfully and presses his tongue into my mouth.  
"Nah, it's just morning breath... And Evan?" He stops kissing me and leans back.  
"When'd you suck Ev off?"  
I flush and bite my lip.  
"He visited me at work today for lunch and I may have pinned him against the wall in the break room?"  
"Oh shit baby," Connor groans and reaches a hand down to stroke himself through his jeans.  
"That's really hot, why didn't you tell me?" He moans brokenly and thrusts into his fist.  
"You wanted to watch a movie, I didn't have time to tell you."

"God I'm gonna think about that like, ah, every night now."   
I connect our lips again and he moans into my mouth. It's messy and our teeth clack but I don't want to stop.  
When Connor's turned on, he kind of pants? With his tongue out? And it's cute but also why I started calling him a furry.

"Fuck Jare, was he whiny? Did he have to gag himself? How long did it take for him to come?" Connor whines and I moan and grab the back of Connor's jacket.  
"He had to bite down on his shirt to stay quiet. And it only took like fifteen minutes, his dick was so sensitive. He was a mess when I was done with him."   
Connor's hips jerk and he bites down onto my shoulder to muffle his loud moans. Con fumbles to pull my pants down and I stop him.  
"Can we go to bed? I wanna ride you so bad." I groan and Connor's hips buck again. His dick teases my ass and I grind back against it.  
"Y-yes fuck, whatever you want Jare goddamn."  
"I want it hard." 

Connor hisses and bites at my bottom lip.  
"Okay we have to go now before I lose it."  
"Maybe I want you to lose it. Maybe I want you to be oversensitive while we have sex."  
Connor shivers and digs his fingers into my ass, picks me up, and heads for the stairs.  
He bites and sucks marks into my neck as he climbs.  
"Fuck, Con you're so good." I whine and he smirks against my skin.  
"You're such a little tease," He purrs and kisses the teeth marks in my neck.  
"I can't wait to fuck your brains out."

My dick twitches in excitement and I grind against his stomach.  
"Needy," Con taunts and I whimper.

"I want you inside me, please."  
Connor moans and starts walking down the hall faster.  
He pins me against the door and grinds his hips against mine.  
"Such a tease, was this your plan the whole time? Rile me up? So I get rough with you?"  
"Well sorta-" I gasp and Connor unbuttons my shorts.  
"Maybe I should just fuck you against the wall,"  
I moan and he smirks dangerously.  
"Yeah? I'd press you against it, Go really slow. Just to torture you, because you can't move. Would you like that?"  
I shiver and grab at his hair.  
"Answer me." He growls and pushes my thighs up higher.  
"Yes!"

Connor makes a pleased noise and kisses at my neck.  
"Connor!"  
"Yes?" He teases with a wink and runs his teeth along my Adam's apple.  
"Please? Please I wanna ride you so bad babe." I murmur weakly and lean on Connor's chest.  
"I guess I can't deny you when you sound so cute, huh?"  
"N-no please don't." I whimper and Connor opens the door and stumbles inside.  
He falls forward onto the bed and pins my hands above my head.  
Connor's free hand trails down to my side, and then slips up my shirt.  
I stretch my stomach out as much as I can and hold in my breath.  
"Hey," He purrs and lays a soft warm hand over my stomach. "I like your body, don't hide it."   
I tense up more and Connor's fingers dig into my side.  
"CON! Hahahahah wa-hah-wait!"  
Con leans down and kisses my ear, and he stops to let me breathe.

"Come on, just relax for me, I'll make you feel so good if you relax, okay?" He says sweetly and I can't help but slump into the mattress.  
"I knew you could be good for me," He sticks his tongue out and rubs my hip idly.  
"If I wasn't you'd tie me up and leave me in here with a plug." I chuckle and Connor blushes.  
"Maybe I should. Would you like it?" His dick is straining against the front of his pants and I curl inward.  
"Noooooo babe I want you, not a piece of plastic." I whine and Connor shrugs.  
"Worth a shot."

He pulls down my shorts the rest of the way while I struggle with the buttons on his shirt.  
"Con why the fuck did you wear a button up shirt today?"  
"Job interview." He mumbles and tugs at the hem of my Legend of Zelda t-shirt.  
"Oh! How did it go?"  
He shrugs with a small smile.  
"They said they'd call, but they may find someone else, I dunno."

"Stay positive, you're a phone call away from having sex with Evan in the break room."  
Connor snorts and kisses up my neck and jaw softly.  
I throw the stupid button up across the room once I get it off, and Con shimmies out of his khaki pants that seem too tight around the legs and too loose around the hips.  
"Did you borrow a pair of Ev's pants?" Connor nods and breathes a sigh of relief when they come off.  
"Yeah, I was too lazy to buy a pair over the weekend."

He leans down to kiss me, so I stop laughing at him, and I whimper. Con grinds down slowly to torture me and I tweak his piercings to make him whine.  
"Hey did these hurt when you got them?" I ask and rub my thumb around his nipple in slow circles.  
"No, it felt so good, I almost came in my pants while they pierced them." Con moans and his hips stutter.  
"That's cute." I murmur and press another slow circle. He shivers and leans his forehead against mine as he gasps for breath.  
"What should I do? What turns you on?" I ask and Connor takes both of my hands and hovers them over his pectorals.  
"Uh, do both at once? Instead of-" 

I squeeze his nipples between my fingers and a shudder rips violently through his body.  
"Fuckin- Mmn, fast learner."   
"Yeah." I breathe and twist them slightly.   
He presses his thighs together and gasps prettily.  
"Ah! Who taught you that?"  
"Ev. He said if I do that I can get anything I want."   
"Ev is such a shit sometimes, spilling all my secrets. God fuck Jare that felt so good." He whines and I smile and release them. I flip us over and sprawl out on top of Connor and he squeaks in surprise.

"Can you prep me or should I?" I ask and Connor hisses.  
"I think I should since you're doing all the work after, though I'd love to have a show. Remember Valentine's Day?"

-  
"Ah! Fuck me harder!~"  
-

"Yeah?"  
"I still have dreams about that. You were so hot, I wanted to walk over there and sit you down on my dick." Connor murmurs as he misses my mouth, and presses his lips to my cheek instead.  
"And I wanted you to lose it, why do you think I moaned so loud?" I giggle and Connor's fingernails dig into my ass.  
"I can't believe Ev let you jack off. That was so unfair."  
"Life isn't fair babe."

"Get the lube." Connor groans and I lean over him to search through the drawer.  
He latches onto my neck and I can't help but vibrate in his lap.  
"So cute." He says softly and sucks a mark over my collarbone.  
My fingers brush a small bottle and I pull it out.  
"Jesus I found Ev's bubblegum flavored one." I tell Connor and he laughs, and takes it from me to inspect it.  
"Remember when he said he'd eat me out but only if he used this?" Connor chuckles and pops the cap. He puts a little on his finger and spreads it around.

"It kinda smells like pepto bismol." I laugh and Con licks his finger and makes a face.  
"I prefer ass over this."   
"You just don't like anything that isn't salty or spicy." I giggle and Connor blushes.  
"I like chocolate."   
"Yeah, Dark Chocolate."   
"So maybe I don't like things that taste like three gallons of sugar, sue me."

I take his hand, press his finger to my mouth, and he inhales sharply when I suck it in. I wink and swirl my tongue and he covers his face with his other hand.  
"Baby you're killing me."  
His finger pops out and I hum.  
"Yeah I agree, it's way too sweet."  
Connor shudders and his dick twitches against me again.

"Okay, turn around now before I come because, Holy Mother fuck Jare." His back arches and he leans onto the headboard.  
I don't listen to him and drape myself along his chest.  
"Can I face you instead?"  
"How am I gonna hit the right spots? He asks and tries to flip me.  
"It doesn't matter, I wanna see you." I whine and kiss his neck and cheeks.  
"Please?" 

Connor gives in and takes the lube from me.  
"Arch your back." He murmurs and I immediately comply.   
"Good," He purrs and coats the rest of his fingers.  
"You're always so obedient~"  
I sigh as his finger slides over the rim.  
"Ready?"  
I nod and it pushes inside.  
Connor's other hand scratches my neck and I hum softly.  
"Connor," I moan and he smirks proudly.  
"Yeah? Does that feel good baby?"  
He pushes in his pointer finger as well and I shiver when they spread and scissor me.  
I unintentionally scratch down Connor's chest when he gets faster.  
"JARED!" 

Bright red scratch marks appear on Connor's chest, he blushes hotly and I feel his dick go soft.  
"Okay, either you came or you just had a Vietnam flashback,"  
"I just fucking came in my boxers you asshole!" Connor shrieks, and sure enough there's a wet patch over the crotch.  
"Those are really sensitive huh?" I murmur and prod at the piercings.  
"Fuck-ah AH! Don't! Touc- fuck- don't touch- mmm them!"   
"Is this how I get you to shut up? My prayers have been answered." I laugh and Connor shivers with every breath.  
"JARE- GOD FUCKIN- please!-" Connor whimpers brokenly as I slowly twist them. His voice gets higher in pitch and volume the slower I go.

"Jared! You're such ah a fucking-"  
"What am I?" I ask innocently and press my thumbs down hard. His hips thrust uselessly and he starts making these cute little whiny high pitched squeals.  
"Aw is Connie getting uncomfortable?" I tease with a smirk. His hands fist in the sheets and he nods.

"Oh shit," I stop instantly and pull Connor into a hug, careful to avoid aggravating his chest further. "Baby are you okay?"   
He nods again and takes a few deep breaths.  
"Why didn't you use your safe word love?" I ask and he shrugs.  
"I wanted to push my limits."  
"Oh... Should I have stopped or?"  
"I might have been close to either coming or crying. I'm not sure which."  
"Baby I'm so sorry." I murmur and pet his hair.   
His breathing slows down and I start to pull the blankets up around us from where they'd been kicked to the end of the bed.   
Connor grabs my hand and turns me around.

"I don't wanna stop... So I got a little uncomfortable, it's okay, I'm fine now. And I know you're still hard, I can see it."  
I instinctively press my thighs together to try to hide myself.  
"We can still have sex if you want, it was my nipples that started to hurt. Not my dick. I could suck you off, or we could sixty nine, lots of options baby, what sounds good?" 

I bite my lip and rock back and forth on my knees.  
"I dunno..."  
"What do you want Jare?" He asks again and I sigh,  
"I feel bad, let's just go to sleep."  
Connor frowns and pulls me back onto his lap.  
"I'm not a mind reader, but I know you want something."  
"Can't we just wait for it to go away?" I whine and Connor reaches over and starts jerking me off through my boxers.  
"No we can't, what do you want?"   
I moan and thrust up into his hand.  
"Come on, you can't just fuck my hand. This means I prepped you for nothing,"  
"OKAY OKAY, Iwanttorideyou."  
"Hm?"  
I take a deep breath and steady myself.  
"I really want to r-ride you."  
"Do you or are you just saying that?"

I scratch his shoulders lightly and whimper.  
"I've kinda wanted to for a while? But it's... Awkward to bring up."   
Connor squeezes hard on the way down and his thumb teases my head through the cotton.  
"Not with me. If it sounds hot to you I'll try it, I've got lots of kinks babe." Con hums and my knees buckle and I fall into his chest.  
"Okay." I moan and Connor smiles.

"Now are you gonna let me finish prepping you or do you want it dry?" He teases as his hands slide up and down my thighs.  
I wince at the thought and carefully flip myself around reverse cowgirl. I know Connor can see the blush spreading down my neck, and his thumb comes up to gently brush against the red skin.  
"You don't need to be embarrassed my love." He whispers and then he taps between my shoulder blades.  
"I'm gonna need you to kneel down, can you do that for me?"

I follow suit and a small mortified whine slips out from between my lips.  
"It's okay." He whispers and his thumb brushes my entrance.  
"You're so pretty, don't be embarrassed."   
I shiver and the cap pops behind me.   
Something cold traces my rim and I wiggle my hips. He presses back in slowly and I whimper when they stretch out.  
"So fucking cute." Connor murmurs.  
"Cute cute cute."   
I whine again and Connor smiles lovingly.

"And loose too. Did you finger yourself earlier or are you just that eager?"   
I blush and bite my lip.  
"I uh finger myself in the shower every night,"   
Connor groans and curves them up into my prostate.  
"I would pay to see that,"  
I push back into his hand, and he adds a third and I hardly feel it.  
"Jesus I could get my whole hand in here if I wanted to." Connor breathes and spreads those as well.

My thighs are shaking and I move forward to hover over his dick.  
"Con, I'm going to suck you off, is that okay?"  
He moans and thrusts against my lips.  
"Do whatever you want babe."   
I tug his boxers down and take his quickly hardening dick into my mouth.  
His fingers curve again and I moan and almost choke around him.  
"God baby you're so good." Connor groans and thrusts up, squeezing my head between his thighs.  
I hum and he mewls.  
Connor retaliates with a sharp thrust and he hits something amazing. Not my prostate, but it feels good.  
I pop off to moan and he takes that as an opportunity to press his pinky in as well.

"Good boy." Con hums when I push back into his thrusts.  
"I think you're ready, but I wanna tease you some more." He pulls his fingers out and pets my thighs soothingly.  
I blush and try to think through the pleasure.  
"P-please don't tease me." I cry and Connor swiftly turns me around. His eyes rake down my body, and that moment I realize I must be covered in drool and his cum.  
"Uh-" I mutter and he pulls me down for a soft kiss.  
"So pretty. Glasses on or off?" Connor smiles and I take them off and set them down.  
"M'kay. Do you still want to ride me or do you want me to flip us?"   
I blush and scoot back until I'm hovering above his lap.

"Condom?" He asks and I shake my head.  
"You get tested regularly right?"  
"Yeah."  
"Then why bother." I mutter and start to sink down.

It feels like he's splitting me in half and I cry out when the head finally pops in.  
"Aw baby did that hurt?" Connor whispers and draws circles on my sides.   
"Yeah, you're so, ugh." I groan and start to sink further. Every inch is painful, but it's cancelled out with Connor stroking me and whispering sweet things.  
I bottom out and take a moment to breathe and settle against his thighs.

The door opens downstairs and someone shuffles in.  
"Hey I'm home!" Evan calls faintly, dropping his keys off and making his way up and I smirk.  
"Let's give him something to remember, Yeah?"  
Connor smirks back, and sticks his tongue out between his teeth. I love it when he does that it's so cute...  
The floor creaks nearby and I let out a very loud moan on purpose and start bouncing on his dick.  
Connor grips the sheets and shivers, thrusting up when I let him. Connor's back arches when I squeeze around him and he whimpers softly.  
Evan opens the door and almost falls down in shock.

"I-uh wow." He breathes and Connor smiles.  
"Welcome back Ev, wanna join?"  
Evan shakes his head and sits behind me. His hand starts to trace my shoulder blades and another is softly resting on Connor's thigh.  
"I'm not really in the mood to have full on sex. I'll watch though. You guys both look... Really good."  
I grind down on him a little bit on the next thrust and Connor moans weakly.  
"Jare where's your prostate? Am I close to it?"   
I shift and his head presses against it dead on.  
"Y-You're hitting it! Fuck! Connor please!"  
Connor breathes out a moan and starts thrusting harder and faster.  
"Oh god, Con I'm close!"   
Connor whispers something and Evan's hand reaches around and squeezes the base of my dick with a vice grip.  
"Come on, you can't come so soon, where's the fun in that?"

"Connor you're so mean! You came earlier and I've been waiting for my turn ever since," I whimper and thrust into the tight circle of Evan's hand.

"What do you think Ev? Should I give him what he wants?"   
Evan shakes his head and Connor smiles wickedly.  
"I've got a good idea that Jared's gonna hate."   
Evan leans over, Connor whispers something in his ear and Ev starts laughing.  
"He's gonna hate us more than you did after I tied you down and left."   
Connor blushes angrily and sighs.  
"Ev that was awful, you forgot I was there."  
Evan smiles and runs a hand through his hair.  
"Yeah but I came back eventually right?"   
Connor blushes a deeper red and waves for Evan to get something.   
And then he turns back to me and places his hands on my hips.

Connor looks down and makes a pleased noise when he notices my dick steadily leaking pre cum.  
"Wow you're like a faucet." He hums and strokes me slowly, then fast, then rough, just seeing what makes me scream and what doesn't. (Spoiler almost everything does)

By the time he's done teasing me, Ev is back with whatever they're gonna use to torture me.  
He hands it to Connor and Connor puts it... Somewhere?  
Then he starts stroking me again, and his hand is so tight,  
"Ah ah! Connor!" I gasp and try not move around too much on his dick.  
"Yeah? Does that feel good?" Evan murmurs in my ear and I nod and turn around to kiss where I think his cheek is.  
"Ow." Evan whispers, "Babe you poked my eye."  
"Sorry! I- glasses- and Connor-"   
Evan cups my face and leads me to his cheek. I plant my lips against it, and Evan purrs,  
"I missed you guys."

Connor's hand tightens further and I whimper.  
"Jare, look." Connor whispers sweetly. Too sweetly.   
I look down and there's a ring around my dick that's snapped in place on the second tightest setting. It hits me that this is the one Ev bought for Connor's birthday. 

"Ugh, you guys suck." I moan and reach down to pull it off. Evan quickly takes my hands and gently restrains them behind my back.  
"Come on Jare, it'll just make this more fun." He whispers softly and Connor starts thrusting up as hard as he can.

"Con-Connor, please!" I moan and his hand comes to rest near the base of my dick.  
"Please let me come! Take the ring off!"   
Connor smiles and teases the head of my dick with soft touches.  
"Baby, it's gonna feel so good if you wait."   
"But I don't want to wait! I need it now!" I growl and try to wrench my arms from Evan's grip.  
"Shhh." Evan purrs and pets my hair. "Connor, put that dick to work and shut our boy up. He needs to be put back in his place." 

Connor smirks and goes faster, digging his nails into my hips and his hands on my thighs are so warm,  
"CONNOR!" I gasp and try to grind back, but I'm stuck.  
Evan's got my arms in a tight hold and Connor's gripping my hips to keep me up.

Trapped between them.

"There. Isn't it better now that you're listening?" Evan murmurs sweetly, and pecks the spot behind my ear.  
"Y-yes." I whimper, and Connor angles himself, and bucks up sharply.  
"A-ah oh god, Co-Connor please," I gasp and try to focus on him to distract myself from the painful ring around me.  
His hair is in a loose ponytail, his lips are red, he's blushing all over, his knuckles are almost white, and Connor is biting his bottom lip to hold in his moans.

"Connor you look so good." I shiver and Con blushes and smooths his hands over my thighs.  
"If I look good then you look amazing. All helpless and whiny," Connor closes his eyes and focuses on fucking me.  
He bucks up with a small unrestrained moan.  
"C-Con," Connor cracks one eye open to look up at me.  
"Y-ye-Ah-Ah babe?" He shudders and forces himself deeper.  
I gasp and grind down in a circular motion.  
"Can you make more noises for me? I really like hearing you moan." 

Evan laughs and presses a few soft kisses against my cheek and ear.

Connor blushes a deeper color and shifts uncertainly.  
"Ple-Please?"   
Connor's teeth release his bottom lip and on the next thrust he mewls.  
It's soft and quiet, but it's there and it's,  
"So cute Connor." Evan hums and reaches around me to cup his cheek.  
Connor nuzzles his face into Evan's hand and his mouth is open now, letting moans fall freely.  
Evan's presses down just above my cock and I squeeze hard around Connor.  
"Ja-Ah-are, Baby, mhn you're so tight!" Con whimpers and his hips shake as he starts thrusting up faster, pounding into me.  
"You're such a good boy." Evan giggles and his fingers trace where I've kept my arms behind my back.  
"God dammit I've been conditioned." I growl and Connor and Evan both laugh softly. Well, Connor half laughs half whines.

Con thrusts up a bit rougher and I find that I like that a lot more than when he's gentle.  
And Connor seemed to like it when Evan hit him, so I think it's only fair if I get a turn.

"Con-Connor."   
He looks up and hums. I grab his hand and lay it on top of my thigh.  
"Hit me."   
Connor freezes and I squeeze his hand.   
"You better give him what he wants babe." Evan muses and kisses next to my ear.  
"Use your word if it hurts too much."   
I nod and Connor hesitates.  
"Please?" 

Con's hand rises and immediately comes back down hard.  
"CONNOR!" I bite my lip to keep in the whimpers and he moves over an inch and hits again, hard enough to bruise.  
"B-BABY!" I cry and he starts petting my hip.  
"Good?" He asks softly and I nod hastily.  
"Yes! So good, please please please I need to come!" 

Connor hisses and quickly undoes the ring.  
The loss of pressure and cold air rush to me and the second it's gone, I come all over Connor's chest soundlessly.

Connor smirks crookedly, and starts stroking me. I whimper, about to tell him to stop,  
"Color?" Connor whispers and there's a slight edge with every stroke. It feels kinda... Good. I'd be stupid not to explore this.  
"G-green."  
He keeps going, slowly pulling up and gently coming back down with a soft press of his thumb against my head.  
Nothing is happening, if anything it's a little uncomfortable.  
"Con this isn't-"  
I'm stopped by a string of come spraying out of my dick and I flush when Connor chuckles.  
"Is it good?" He murmurs and I feel myself start to leak more. My dick starts throbbing and I shift at the weird feeling.   
"What -ah- are you doing?" I moan breathily and thrust back into his hand.

"Milking." He murmurs, "I was watching porn and it looked hot so I researched it."   
I throw my head back and cry out as a wave of sharp pleasure travels down my spine.  
"J-Jesus Con-"   
I squeeze my ass around him tightly and he moans quietly.  
Evan's hand traces Connor's chest and he hisses.  
"Color?" Ev asks softly as he slowly moves a hand toward his nipples. Connor shakes his head.  
"Red, they're too sensitive."   
Evan's hand flies away from them the second the word leaves Connor's mouth, and instead, he runs his hand through Con's hair.

"Connor you can keep fucking me," I buck my hips and Connor shivers and moans.  
"Come on I know you're close."  
He starts thrusting up reluctantly and I'm oversensitive but I don't care. I bounce up and down in time and Connor's eyes start to tear up.   
"Connor-"  
"It's fine. Please I'm right on the edge keep going." He moans and I hold onto the sheets to keep myself upright.  
His hips start moving faster, less coordinated and careful than before. He starts slurring his words too, and I can tell he's completely out of it.  
"Yeah baby, you like my cock? I bet it feels so good in your tight little cunt." Connor purrs and I shudder for breath.  
Connor's dick jabs my prostate and I hold back a very embarrassing sound.

It hurt but god it hurt so good. 

"Daddy." I whimper and Connor freezes in shock. His eyes cloud and he starts grinding slower. When he speaks, he purrs low and deep, "That's right Jare."   
I can't pinpoint the moment I start to sob.  
Con gets faster, biting back loud moans and Evan's hands gently move up and down his sides.  
"Come Connor." Evan whispers with a silky voice.

And damn can Con be obedient sometimes.

His come fills up my ass and I grimace.  
"Ugh. Now I know how you felt." I grumble to Connor. He laughs and I turn to Evan.  
"Lucky." I hiss and Ev giggles,  
"Let me have this it's the only good thing I've got."   
Connor sighs and runs a hand through his hair.  
"That was nice." He says and rubs my hips gently.  
"I'm gonna get off your dick now Murphy."   
Connor laughs,  
"Have fun shitting me out for an hour." 

I blush angrily and pull off as slowly as I can, but the ridges of his dick still brush some sensitive parts inside me, and I wince.  
"ow ow ow." I whimper under my breath and Connor's hands wrap around my thighs.  
"Let me help." He says softly and starts pushing me up as he pulls out. His head jabs my inner wall and my knees shake.  
"Ow ow! Connor!" I whine and his hands reach to cup my cheeks when I'm off him.

"Hey," he murmurs softly and I smile back shakily.  
"Hey."   
"Are you okay?" He asks and I nod.  
"Think so."   
Ev shifts on the bed, and then his warm body is pressed against my back. His hands are gently resting on my hips and his face is buried in my shoulder.  
"Jare you were so adorable. I don't think I said it enough, but you were really whiny and precious." Evan sighs and presses soft kisses against my neck and shoulder.  
"O-oh." I choke and Connor chuckles.  
"Yeah, You were kind of helpless." He mutters bashfully and I shove him into the pillows.  
"Shut up I'm not some damsel in distress."  
"You weren't huh?" Connor snickers amusedly.  
"Man you must've been so out of it after you came."   
I flush and try to remember. I came, Connor did...

What did he do again?

Something good... I think?

And then, Evan, and um, Connor. Wait.

"Uh refresh my memory?" I murmur and Connor clears his throat.  
"Your honor, I'd like to redirect Mr. Kleinman to his affidavit."   
Evan giggles,  
"Proceed."   
and I roll my eyes.  
"You're both huge nerds. Can you just tell me?" I lay down on his chest with my arms crossed underneath my chin.

"Page 3 Line 45. 'Daddy,' Jared moaned as he bounced on Connor's dick." Connor laughs and I pale.  
"Oh." 

 

They're laughing at you.

 

"Jare-" He giggles and I quickly cut him off.  
"Can we go take our shower now."   
He frowns softly and puts his hand on my shoulder.  
"Jared,"   
"Can we just-"  
Evan gently rubs my shoulder blade and I breathe in deeply.  
"You're okay sweetheart." He whispers and I shake my head.  
Connor cups my cheek.  
"Jared it's okay. I told you earlier, what turns you on turns me on. And, in my opinion that was hot as hell baby." 

I allow myself a short chuckle and I place my hand over his on my cheek.

He smiles and tugs me up.  
"Let's go take a bath, you deserve the same treatment I got." Connor murmurs and pushes some hair behind my ear.  
"Mkay." I sigh and Connor gets up out of bed, and sweeps me off my feet.  
Evan laughs softly and holds out a hand for me to take.

I clasp his warm (and slightly sweaty hand) in my own, and panic flashes in Evan's eyes. I must've made a face or something.  
I smile and kiss the back of his hand.  
"Love you Ev."   
Connor nudges my shoulder playfully.  
"What about me? I just gave you the best sex of your entire life."  
"Well I dunno if it was the best..."   
"What!" Connor growls playfully.  
"My first time with Evan was pretty fucking hot." I shrug and Evan blushes with a small smile.  
Connor frowns and waves a hand dismissively.  
"What was so great about your first time?"

-  
"Jared you can stop me if you get uncomfortable, okay? Do you remember your safe word?"  
I shift and open my legs a little wider.  
"Uh it's 'Blue.'" I mumble uncomfortably and he nods.  
"Use it if it hurts, or you can't breathe or you cramp up, or if you want to stop okay? I don't want you to have to use it, but I want you to feel good."  
Ev carefully lifts my legs up onto his shoulders and smiles.  
"I'm gonna start to push in okay?"  
I bite my lip and try not to close my legs in embarrassment.  
"Yo-you don't n-need to narrate you weirdo." I murmur and Evan just laughs softly.  
"Don't be nervous babe, I'll take care of you."   
-

"He was really sweet, and just warm all over, and he didn't get mad at me for coming literally two minutes after he bottomed out. A-and! He bought a strap on specifically for beginners and I just felt, taken care of I guess. Protected."   
Connor chuckles and nods, 'That's our Evan.'  
"Yeah. Ev almost ripped me open on our first time so I'm glad I was trial one."   
Evan flushes,   
"That's n-not true, I bottomed our first time."   
and Connor sits me down on the counter in the bathroom.  
I'd been so immersed in my thoughts, I hadn't noticed when we got here.

Evan nuzzles my cheek with his and Connor squeezes my hand as he turns on the warm water.  
"How do you feel?" Evan murmurs and I shrug.  
"Like I ran a marathon or something."   
Connor laughs and snuggles into my side.  
"So I did tire you out. Big liar." He laughs between words and I gently pet the back of his head.  
"Yeah well.... Your dick is huge it would be difficult to mess up. And I did the work so...."   
Connor blushes and hides his face in my neck, pressing soft kisses and licks against it.  
"Furry." I mutter.  
Connor smirks and licks up toward my jaw messily.  
"You're gross." I sigh.  
Evan laughs and scratches behind Connor's ear.  
Con squeaks and detaches himself from me with a deep red blush staining his cheeks.  
"Evan!"   
"furry." I mumble again and Connor leans down and bites my shoulder.  
"Ouch!" I yelp loudly.  
Connor kisses the spot as an apology and I melt between them.

"Hey Ev you sure you don't want anything?"   
Evan laughs and nods.  
"Just cuddles and maybe a hot pocket."  
Connor makes a fanfare noise,  
"Catch us next time for another exciting episode of Everyone Loves Jared!" He says behind cupped hands with a narrative voice and Evan scoops me up again, and kisses my cheek.  
"That can't be too interesting of a show..."   
"Babe, people would pay to see you with clothes on. Without clothes, you'd be raking in money left and right." Connor laughs and pinches my butt playfully.   
I squawk and try to hit Con on the arm. He dodges and Evan gently sits me down into the bathtub. He pushes the matt closer to the tub and then gets in as well.  
Connor pouts,  
"Why can't I be carried in?"  
"Because your ass isn't wrecked." I scoff and he frowns.  
"My thighs hurt."   
"So do mine!" I giggle and Connor follows Evan into the tub with a huff.  
Evan scoops water up and rains it down on Connor's head and he sighs softly at the treatment.  
I lean into Evan's warm back and my eyes start to slip closed.

((He only took a really long nap, it is not morning))

When I reopen them, I'm tucked in bed and Evan and Connor are no where to be seen. My throat is dry when I swallow and I look around for my glasses. There's a cup of water set out on the table and I drink it without really considering who's it is.  
It's not like they have a disease, I'll be fine.  
I sit up fully, and something bright and yellow stands out against my chest.  
I peel it off, and bring it closer to my eyes.

Hey Jared!  
When you wake up Evan and I will probably be at the store running errands. Oh and we're getting Ev's T so he's gonna get some massive mood swings... Be gentle when we get back okay? You know he doesn't like needles.   
Also you're very cute when you sleep. (Not to be creepy. and not that you're not cute all the time,)  
Connor 

I stick the note down on the night stand and pull the covers back. I'm wearing boxers. I don't know who put them on me, it was probably Ev, and I run a hand through my hair sluggishly.  
I'm not ready for a broken boyfriend. It kills me whenever his cycle ends. (I'm sure it kills Evan more but)

Evan's T cycle mixed with anxiety Meds is fucking vicious. Evan had only been taking it for a year or two and they still haven't figured out his dosage. The first time, Connor and I were both away, and when Connor got back he was a shaking crying mess on the kitchen floor.  
Con panicked and called me, we made him some soup, and he passed out after eating.   
And not to mention, someone else generally has to administer his Testosterone because his hands shake too much. It's usually Connor, and I have to hold Ev down as he cries and struggles to get away.

I can't watch him like that. I know what you're thinking, 'Jared you absolute hypocrite-'  
Let me stop you. Evan is a lovely ball of sunshine in my life. Having to stab him in the leg is bad enough but when anxiety mixes with depressive mood swings, he flinches at every noise and starts crying for no reason.

And knowing I can't make him feel better?  
Fucking ouch for a million years.  
I find my glasses on the table where I left them and look around for a minute. Evan and Connor cleaned our room so much I hardly recognize it.  
I head over to the door, but my foot catches on something soft and I fall to the floor.   
It's one of Connor's hoodies, and upon realizing this I pull it on like a life vest on the titanic.   
I manage to get downstairs in one piece, other than falling again at the bottom of the stairs.  
"Jared?" Evan says and comes out of the kitchen to find me on the floor. I swiftly turn on my side and wink seductively.

"Trip me like one of your French girls Evan Hansen."   
Evan snorts and extends a hand to help me up.  
I take it and pull him down on top of me, making sure he doesn't hit his head on anything.  
"Jesus." He giggles and accepts defeat.  
When Connor follows, he finds Evan and I cuddling on the floor. Con wheezes and grabs his chest with his hand.  
"Babe? Are you okay?" Evan asks worriedly and Connor nods.  
"Just... Fuck you guys." He puts two hands over his heart and leans on the wall dramatically.  
"I'm weak." 

"S-Shut up Shakespeare." Evan murmurs and I bark out a surprised laugh.  
"W-what? Was tha-that w-w-wrong?" Evan asks with fearful eyes and Connor sits down next to us with a soft scowl.  
"Babe you just ultra wrecked Connor." I laugh and Evan's eyebrow quirks up curiously.  
"I wreck Con all the time, but he's not sitting on my dick right now..."   
I snicker and Con mutters something angrily.  
"You bottom a lot Ev, if anything, I'm wrecking you."   
Evan laughs and pats Connor's head condescendingly.  
"Okay, Con."   
Connor scoffs even though he leans in to Evan's hand.  
"I miss bottoming." Connor murmurs and Evan laughs.  
"That's cause you're a s-slut." 

Con blushes and shrugs.  
"Yeah."   
We lay on the floor for a while until Connor drags Ev and I up.  
"Cmon Ev you gotta take your T." He says softly and Evan's normally bright green eyes darken with fear.  
"Con-"  
"Baby. You can stop anytime you want. But I know for a fact that you're happiest with it." Connor sighs and cups one of Evan's cheeks.  
"I k-k-know I just don't want to, because I might move too much or slip and the needle would go in wrong or there'd be too much Testosterone in my s-system, and my LDL level would be off the charts-"  
Connor kisses his forehead and shushes him.

"None of that is going to happen love, because Jared and I are going to take care of you." He says sternly, and leads Evan over to the living room.  
Ev starts to shake at the sight of the needle in its packaging.  
I press a soft kiss to the back of his neck and he relaxes a little bit.   
"Hey maybe if you're a good boy Doctor Murphy will give you a lollipop after," I wink at him and Evan shoves me.  
"Gross,"   
"Ouch Ev." Connor murmurs in mock pain and sits down on the couch starting to prep.  
Evan lays down, still shaking. I sit next to him and run my hands through his hair to calm him down a little bit. Con pushes up his shorts and pats his leg comfortingly.

Con then takes out an alcohol pad and wipes a circle on Evan's thigh. I push his shoulders down into the couch, because this boy gets insanely strong when he needs to.  
Evan's breathe hitches when Connor picks the shot up from the table.  
Connor soothes him quietly,  
"It'll be over before you know it Ev, and then we can cuddle and watch whatever you want, okay?"  
Evan whimpers and nods, and Connor gently pushes the needle in.  
Evan sobs and jolts, trying to get away from the pain.  
"Okay, okay Ev, almost done. I promise we're half way there."  
Connor slowly presses down and the liquid drains out into Evan's leg.  
"Please, please god it hurts." Evan cries, unable to wipe away his tears.   
Connor slowly pulls the needle out and sets it down on the table.   
Con cleans the blood away, applies some Neosporin and then sticks a small green bandaid over the wound.

Evan sniffs and wipes at his face with his newly freed arms and Connor and I wrap him in a tight hug.  
Ev shudders for breath between sobs and grabs my hand.  
He squeezes hard and Connor gently rubs around the bandaid.  
Evan cries for a couple minutes and eventually calms down enough to speak.  
"Can we watch Milo and Otis?" His breathing is still erratic, and there are some small tears slipping from his eyes.  
"Of course Evan." I murmur and Evan smiles shakily.

We watch the cat and dog run through fields and rivers, trying to get back to each other, and Ev starts humming the songs under his breath.  
Connor kisses his head and Evan snuggles into his chest.  
"Ev do you feel better?" He hums and Evan sighs with a soft smile.  
"Yeah." Ev tugs me into his other side and he crosses a leg over mine. I lay my hand on his warm thigh and bury my face into his neck. 

I fucking love them so much.


	11. I ruined pineapples and whip cream for you :)

"Evan I need you!" Connor whines from upstairs and I shake my head with a laugh.  
"How long are you gonna leave him up there?" Jared asks worriedly and I snicker.  
"You can go check on him if you want but he loves being denied."  
Jared blushes and runs a hand through his hair.  
"I mean... I'm just worried is all. What if it starts to hurt?" He asks and I take his hand and lead him upstairs.  
We're not even at the top and I can already hear him whimpering brokenly.  
"Evan Evan please, I can't take it anymore!"  
Jared gets even more concerned and I kiss his cheek.  
"Is he using his safe word?" I ask.  
"W-well no but he didn't when I went too far with him... His chest hurt the whole night!" Jared protests and I open the door.

Connor looks just like I left him. Hands tied to his ankles, cock ring at the tightest setting, and a vibe on full.  
Connor perks up when we walk in.  
"Please please Sir I'll be a good boy just let me come..." He whimpers and Jared inhales sharply.  
"See?" I murmur into Jared's ear hotly, "He's being a perfect little s-slut."  
Jared goes bright red.  
"Oh um.... Okay."  
I move to open the door and Connor whines disapprovingly.  
"Sir please don't leave again!" He whimpers and arches his back more. "You can have me any way you want! Just don't leave me alone again m-my cock hurts." He mumbles in embarrassment and I move his hair out of his eyes.

"How bad does it hurt? 1-10. 10 being you like it, 1 being you don't at all. And be honest with me baby." I sigh and place on hand on his hip and the other on his cheek.  
He wiggles and whimpers again.  
"Uh a three or four?" He bites his lip and I rub a circle on his cheek with my thumb.  
I move my other hand down and turn off the vibe, giving him time to cool off before unclipping the ring and setting it aside.  
He sighs at the relief of pressure.  
"Better?"  
Connor nods and bucks his hips with a moan.  
"So much better."  
I smile, "Good, I want you to be comfortable. And for the love of God use your safe word, you keep scaring Jared."  
Connor laughs and I reach down for the dial on the vibrator.  
"Ev- I mean, Sir I'm going to come if you turn it on." Connor breathes and I rub at his stretched hole with my index finger.  
"Isn't that what you want Baby? Don't you want to come?" I tease and he shivers.

"I don't get to decide that, only you can." Connor says shakily and I blink, surprised at the obedient answer.  
"That's right love." I tip his head up to look at me and he swallows.  
"Both you and Jared right?"  
Jared bites his lip and I nod with a smile.  
"Mmhm." I kiss him sweetly and he shivers when I put my arm around his waist.  
"Evan," Connor moans and I fist his hair and pull it to make him yelp.  
"Wrong." I whisper and he moans beautifully.  
"S-sir. I'm sorry, please don't be mad."  
I turn around to Jared and wink at him.  
"Wanna help?" I ask and Jared blushes and points to himself.  
"Yes you, C'mere and help me ravish him."  
Jared anxiously crawls onto the bed and Connor arches his back.  
"Please, someone touch me." 

"What do you think Jared?" I sigh and run a hand up from his hip to his chest.  
"Should we give him what he wants?"  
Jared shakes his head and starts to fiddle with the rope crossing over his back.  
Connor arches up into his hands and hisses for more.  
"So desperate..." I murmur and suck a hickey into his jaw.  
"You'd let just about anyone get you off."  
Connor whines and shakes his head.  
"N-no Sir. Only you and Jared." 

"And no one else," I move the rope out of the way and twist his nipple.  
"A-ah! No one else! Only you!" He tries to shuffle closer to Jared and I allow it for now.  
Connor leans his head back onto Jared's shoulder and Jare tugs lightly on his hair.  
Connor's dick leaks precome and he whines gorgeously.  
"Yeah you like when I pull your hair?" Jared asks sweetly and Connor nods.  
Good to see Jared getting into character.

I reach down for the dial and Connor shifts uncertainly.  
"I'm gonna turn this on. If you come before I let you, you get another fifteen minutes of isolation and then Jared and I will fuck you till you can't speak."  
Connor laughs,  
"That's punishment? Sounds more like a wet dream to me."  
I grab his hair and yank him forward to look at me.  
"Do you want me to hurt you baby? Cause I can."  
Connor whimpers and shakes his head.  
"No? But it sounds like you want it..."  
Connor shakes his head more forcefully and I turn to Jared with a smirk.  
"He's yours to play with until I'm back with the stuff. Don't let him come, or I just might tie you up too." I whisper in Jared's ear and he moans softly. I bite his ear lobe and then I get up off the bed and open the closet.

"Please Jared!" Connor moans and Jared whispers something sweetly.  
I open the third drawer and smile to myself.  
I pick up one of our softer crops, it's just a small square of leather that's been folded over, a strap on, and a gag.  
When I turn around, Jared is fucking him harshly with the vibrator and has a hand tightly wound around Connor's dick.  
I lay these out in front of him and Connor shuffles closer on his knees.

"Color?" I ask and he moans.  
"Green, but I'm afraid I'll come too fast."  
"Anything else?" I ask and he furrows his eyebrows.  
"Lube?" He asks softly and I smile and kiss his cheek.  
"Of course."  
"And uh..." He mumbles and I rub circles into his waist.  
"I know it's hard to think when you have something inside you. Take your time," I whisper soothingly and he nods.  
"Do we have any blindfolds?" He asks and Jared bites his lip.  
"No but I wish we did." I sigh and run my hand through his hair.  
"I'd love to see you all helpless like that. Completely at our mercy, unable to focus on anything but what we're doing to you..." I whisper softly and his back arches again.  
"We need to buy one." He hisses and I kiss him softly.  
"Of course baby." I chuckle and Connor leans up for another kiss.

"Sir can you please kiss me again?" He murmurs tiredly and I smile and oblige him immediately.  
He leans in more trying to make me mad. I don't give him what he wants and continue kissing him softly while he groans and tries to make me react.  
Jared laughs and reaches around to play with Connor's nipples.  
Connor yelps and I wrap my hand around his dick.  
I don't stroke him, I just let my hand rest and I press my thumb against the underside of his head.  
"A-ah!"  
"What do you want first? The whip or the gag?"  
Connor blushes and licks his lips.  
"Gag me please Sir."  
"Good boy." I purr and he relaxes. 

I grab the ball gag and start to reach around to clip it in place,  
"Yellow." Connor whispers and I stop and put it back down.  
"Yes baby? What's wrong? What do you need?" I ask and he shifts.  
"Can you tie my hair up? It got stuck last time, and as much as I love you pulling my hair, getting it pulled out was not fun."  
I slide the hair band off my wrist and tie it into a loose ponytail.  
"Green." He sighs and I strap it in place at the back of his head.  
He bites down hard and I kiss his jaw, "Don't clench your teeth."  
Connor moans to test it out and I pet his thigh soothingly.  
"Do you still want the whip? Or is it too much?"  
Connor arches his back and I trace circles on his chest with my thumbs.  
He lets me trace his stomach, and Connor thrusts against me whenever I touch his nipples.  
"Still good?" I ask and he nods.  
"If it hurts, press your thighs together. If you can't, slap Jared."  
Jared gasps and Connor makes a noise that I think is supposed to be a laugh.

"I'm serious. Motion to Jared or Me. I don't want you in pain without you wanting it."  
Connor nods and I trace his jaw.  
"You look so good Connor. Absolutely gorgeous," I whisper softly and he shivers and rubs his dick against my thigh.  
Connor whines and I pick up the crop and trace his chest.  
He bites down on the gag harder, and prepares for the sharp pain. I lay a hand on his side and he forces himself to relax.  
I smack a bright red square onto his ass and he screeches in surprise.  
"Did you like that?" I whisper in his ear and he nods.  
He squeaks out another moan and I rub the red patch.

I hit his thighs and ass until he's whining with every breath.  
"Good boy," I purr, and Connor struggles to get out of the bondage.  
"Jared," I sing and he shuffles out from behind Connor.  
"Yeah Ev?" He asks cautiously and I motion for him to come closer.  
He shuffles forward on the bed and I take his hand and give him a kiss.  
"Do you want to help me or do you want to watch, because I'm fine with either love." I pepper his cheek with kisses and Jared sighs.  
"I want to 'help' but I don't know what to do? You've kinda got it covered, Connor's a mess."  
I smirk and switch spots with Jared.  
Connor whimpers and Jared looks at him curiously.  
"Pull on his nipples." I whisper and he lightly tugs on them.  
Connor squeaks and starts to fuck the air and Jared smiles a little bit.  
"That's kinda cute." He murmurs and I kiss him again.  
"Connor, are you alright with Jared being in charge of you?" I whisper and Connor nods hastily.  
"He's all yours." I tell him and Jared bites his lip.

He leans forward and starts to suck on his chest and Connor squeals.  
I settle behind Con and lightly trace down his sides and his thighs until he relaxes.  
I bring the crop down hard on his inner thigh and Con bites the gag to muffle his scream.  
I hit him a couple more times in that spot, and then Jared reaches down and starts to tease the head of Connor's dick.  
Connor's whines and suddenly he's coming into Jared's hand.

"Uh oh," I sigh and Connor goes still. "Someone forgot the rules. You know what we do to rule breakers Jared?" I mutter and run a finger through his come.  
"What?" Jared asks and Connor shuts his eyes with a pitiful whine.  
"We give them the paddle."  
Connor starts to shake and I lay my hand flat against his stomach.  
"Aw, don't worry pretty~ You're only getting five this time."  
I untie his hands and ankles from each other and I push Con down onto his hands and knees. A mortified whine slips out from the gag and Connor turns to look at me.  
"Oh we should probably take that off huh? You'll need to count for me."  
I unclip the gag and he stretches his jaw with a click.

"Jared," I purr and he nods, "Fuck Connor's oversensitive ass until he's begging for mercy."  
Jared moans and Connor squeaks.  
"Sir, I'm sorry I won't do it again-"  
I grab his jaw and force him to look up.  
"Sorry's not good enough pretty."  
Jared takes the vibrator all the way out and then harshly shoves it back in.  
"Ah! Sir, no please!" He cries and I pinch his thigh.  
"Bad boys need to be punished."  
Connor whimpers and cries for me as I grab the black paddle quickly and head back over to them.  
Connor is prostrating himself, and weakly crying out whenever Jared pushes it back in.  
His face is pressed into the mattress and Jared's smiling to himself as Con struggles and moans.

"Jared may I borrow Connor from you?" I ask with a short laugh and Jared smiles teasingly.  
"Of course Ev. Sharing is caring," He chuckles and Connor sighs exasperatedly.  
Jared and I switch places and Jared shimmies down underneath Connor. Jare kisses him and strokes his dick to distract him.  
"A-ah mm Jared~" Connor melts and I gently pull his ass up higher.  
"S-sir," He whimpers and I trace his entrance. He's squeezing around the vibe so hard,  
I pull on it and Connor shivers. It's halfway out when he does that cute little shimmy with his hips.  
"You want a vibrator and not me? What a desperate boy. Would rather have a piece of plastic..."  
Connor whips his head around.  
"You're gonna fuck me? Please please sir I've been waiting so long, I'm so hard for you."  
"Be patient." I sigh and he nods embarrassedly.

I set the vibe to the side and Connor yelps loudly.  
"What's wrong?" I ask and he shivers hard and moans,  
"Jared~"  
I look down and Jare has a hand twisting his chest and a pleased smirk on his face.  
"Good boy J." I blow him a kiss and he blushes and runs his hand through Connor's ponytail.  
I pick up the paddle and tap it against Connor's ass lightly. He shudders and his knees shake beautifully.  
"So so pretty." I purr and pull my arm back.  
"Count, or you get five more." I remind him and he tenses up.  
I swing my arm and he cries loudly.  
"One." He gasps out and I rub the red mark.  
"Good boy." I whisper soothingly.  
Another hit and Connor arches his back.  
"O-oh God!" Connor swallows and leans his face into Jared's neck.  
"T-two." He whimpers and I stroke his dick.  
I swing my arm a little harder and he shrieks and fully collapses against Jared.  
"Ev-S-Sir So good, Three." He catches himself and I kiss his neck to reward him.  
"Two more." Jared whispers, "You can do that right?"  
Connor nods and they start to make out messily.  
I pull back while he's distracted and he has to break away from Jared to whine.  
"Four!"  
"Last one then I'll forgive you." I whisper encouragingly.  
The paddle whacks him the hardest and he screams.  
"Evan!"  
I drop the toy to the floor and gently pull him back to lay against my chest.  
"What a good boy, so perfect." 

Connor gasps for breath and I gently rub his chest and sides.  
"I am?"  
I nod and kiss his cheek and neck. He shudders and loops his tied hands around Jared's neck. Connor pulls him into his chest and starts to make out with him as I pull at his hair.  
"A-ah Ev!" He moans and arches up into my hands.  
"Good boy." I sigh and rub his thighs.  
"You did so well during your punishment baby."  
Connor smiles and nuzzles his cheek against mine.  
"Do you like being a good boy for me?" I ask and he grins.  
"Love it Sir."  
"I think," I purr and spread his legs.  
"It's time for your reward, hm?"  
Connor nods hastily.

"Please?" He whines and I snatch the lube off the table and slick my fingers up.  
Connor arches his back when I pet his shaking thighs.  
I push my pointer finger inside him and he moans. Connor instantly starts to buck back into my hand and I add another to stretch him.  
Connor pulls Jared closer,  
"Jare choke me."  
Jared goes pale.  
"Uh what?"  
Connor grabs his hand and wraps it around his neck.  
"C'mon babe please~"  
Jared gently squeezes and Connor gasps out a moan.  
"Okay I don't know what to do I've never choked anyone before." Jared murmurs uncomfortably.

Connor taps the back of Jared's neck and Jared releases him.  
"When I tap you, stop but if I'm moaning and clinging to you please use most of your strength Sir." Connor whispers and Jare goes bright red when he's called 'Sir.'  
"Okay. And you'll definitely stop me if you're about to pass out?"  
"Yeah." He breathes and I press my third finger against his ass.  
Connor wiggles his hips and I laugh and trace them with my other hand.  
"You're absolutely stunning Connor." I murmur and Con bristles a little bit.  
"Sir," he moans and I spread my fingers harshly.

He's hissing for more by the time I finished prepping him and Connor looks so cute leaning on Jared, letting out frustrated squeaks.  
I pull my fingers out and slip my shorts and boxers off.  
Jared tugs at my shirt and I hesitantly take it off as well. I didn't have work today and it's not like my chest is that big anyway. (In short I'm not wearing a bra or my binder)  
Jared's hand hovers over my chest and he smiles softly at me.  
"Can I?" He asks and I nod slowly.  
It's never been an erogenous zone for me, but I never let Jared and Connor see them much less touch me. So I figured I owe him.  
His hands are warm and gentle when he cups my chest and he smiles to himself.  
"Evan Hansen you are so handsome."  
He moves his hands away after squeezing softly. That felt kinda nice actually...  
I pull at Jared's clothes too and he lets me strip him.

"Sir? I-I'm not trying to be impatient but I really need you. Please?" Connor whispers and I pull the strap-on up over my hips.  
"Okay baby relax. You've been so good." I purr softly and Connor leans back against my chest.  
"Ready?" I ask and Con nods urgently.  
I angle the toy and push in slowly.  
"Evan Evan Evan," Connor moans softly and tries not to buck his hips.  
"Gorgeous." I whisper in his ear and he squeaks loudly, the head pops in and Jared's pupils blow out when Connor moans. He's shaking all over and his dick spurts weakly.  
"What do you want me to do Connor?" Jared asks him and Connor pulls him close.  
"Kiss me please." He sighs and I push in another inch as Jared complies.

"Sir," He moans against Jared's mouth and I reach around to jerk him slowly.  
"Good boy." I praise and he bucks his hips up into my hand.  
Jared takes over for me and I rock my hips side to side, trying to gently ease myself in.  
"Don't tense up love." I whisper softly and he whines.  
"Easier said than done."  
I run my hands up and down his sides and gently kiss his jaw and neck.  
"I know baby but I'm almost all the way in." I suck a hickey next to his ear and he leans into my lips.  
"How big are you?" He mumbles and I pet his hip.  
"Don't worry I'm not gonna break you."  
"How much longer before you fuck me?" Connor huffs and Jared and I laugh.  
"Love you Con." I sigh and my hips settle against him.  
"I love you too... Whatever happened to you guys being rough with me?"

"I don't want to be mean when you're being so sweet, but if you want me to be..."  
Connor shifts and spreads his legs as wide as he can.  
"I dunno... I kinda like when you're gentle too."  
I pull out and he whimpers.  
Jared leans forward and holds Connor as I start up a slow rhythm.  
As expected, Con tries to flip us and take control.  
I fuck him a bit harder and he bites down on Jared's shoulder to hold in his moans.  
"Good boys let me hear their pretty noises. Do you want to be good for me?" I ask smoothly and Connor nods.  
"Yes, I do." He gasps and I reach around to clasp his neck.  
Connor whines, but then I remember he wanted Jared to do it. I grab Jared's hand and replace mine with his.  
"Still up for choking our boy Jare?"  
Jared nods and squeezes until Connor's voice gets breathy and soft.  
"Fuck~" He sighs and Jared squeezes a little harder. His knees shake and Connor bucks back into my thrusts.  
"Good boy." I whisper softly in his ear and a small smile flickers across his face.  
"You're being perfect. I love when you go boneless and let us take care of you."  
Connor spreads his legs wide and moans softly.  
I angle my hips upward, and Connor shrieks.  
"Evan please!"  
"Did I hit your prostate sweetheart?"  
He nods and I keep my hips angled.  
Jared squeezes his throat again and Connor makes an endearing squeak and his dick starts to leak pre come.

"Are you gonna come pretty? It's okay, don't hold back."  
He moans softly and bucks back into the dildo.  
I wish I could feel him for real instead of just pretending I get pleasure from this. 

(I mean I love making Connor and Jared feel good. Because they're super hot when I do, but I wish I could feel how tight and warm they are. I get pleasure, but I'm not stimulated anywhere. It's just..,,,,.. Visual pleasure.)

Connor's eyes flutter and then he comes, (for the second time), all over Jared and himself. Jared laughs in surprise, and reaches down to stroke him through his orgasm.  
Connor jolts and bucks his hips and squeezes hard. I bury my face in his shoulder and thrust more urgently, as if I'm on the edge.  
"O-oh! Ev-Evan!" Connor holds onto Jared desperately as I fuck him, and I bite his shoulder hard.  
I moan against it and stutter in my rhythm.  
Connor loves real dicks so I do what I can.  
"Connor baby that was so good," I groan against his neck and Connor sighs for a moment before pulling off my dick.  
"You didn't really come you liar." He huffs and I pretend to be confused.  
"What?"  
"Don't what me, I know topping is one sided for you. Untie me so I can fuck you properly."  
He shakes his hands in my direction and I pull on the rope, easily releasing him.  
He rolls his wrists and then he unties his own ankles.  
Connor flips around and pushes me into the mattress the second he's done checking himself.

Connor fiddles with the straps on the dildo and furiously drops it to the floor when it's off.  
"What do you want Ev?"  
"I want Jared to come before me," I sigh softly and Jared looks up guiltily from the edge of the bed. He was fucking his hand desperately, biting his lip to hold in his moans, but it's hard not to notice when he's shaking the bed.  
Connor turns to him and Jared waves awkwardly with his other hand.  
"Hmmmm. Jared come here and lay next to Evan."  
Jared shuffles over awkwardly and Connor presses us close together with my leg overlapping Jared's.  
Then he leans down and starts to lick at my dick softly and I hold Jare tightly to ground myself.  
"Fuck!" I screech and I feel puffs of hot air against my thighs as Connor laughs.  
He lays his tongue flat and I close my thighs around his head,  
Connor rips himself away and leans over to suck at Jared's head.  
"con," Jared moans and reaches down to pull at his hair.  
Connor sinks down further and I watch his throat swallow around him.  
"Connor Connor Connor," Jared whimpers and holds his face still as he fucks his throat.  
Con pulls back and shuffles back over to me.  
His tongue is warm and he sucks my dick into his mouth.  
My hips jerk forward and he smiles and pushes a finger inside me.

"Connie," I whimper and he hums against my dick.  
"Oh god you're so good. Your mouth feels so nice,"  
He smirks and licks from my entrance to my dick.  
I grab his hair tightly and sob in relief as he gets faster.  
"Connie," I whine and he pushes his tongue inside me.  
He starts humming something fast paced and I grind against his mouth.  
"I'm gonna come!"  
He kisses my dick sweetly and pulls his head out from between my legs.  
"No no no, Connor come back please I'm so close," I cry and he kisses my thigh and looks up at me with a twinkle in his eyes.

Connor silently shifts back over and lets Jared fuck his throat.  
"Connor!" He moans and holds his head down.  
Con tries to pull up, but Jared comes and Connor chokes.  
Jared keeps him down and forces him to swallow.  
Connor coughs when Jared tugs him up by his hair, and a mix of come and drool drips down his chin.  
Jared runs his thumb through the mess and smirks.  
"You did such a good job pretty boy."  
Connor and Jared both turn to me with matching smirks and Connor rests his hands on my thighs.  
"Connor he looks delicious," Jared bites his lip and smiles at me.  
"Mm I know. I can't wait to have my mouth on him~" Connor whispers sweetly and I feel his breath against my thighs and dick.  
"I have an idea," Jared purrs, "What if we share him?"

Connor winks at me and tugs Jared down next to him between my legs.  
"Sounds like a wonderful idea, what do you think Ev?"  
I cover my eyes and lay back on the bed.  
"Oh my god," I sigh and Jared sucks a hickey on my hip.  
"Fuck~" I cover my mouth and Connor licks my dick gently.  
Jared and Connor start fighting over me, and Jared forces his tongue inside me.  
I make a weird breathy nose that Connor seems to like, and the feeling of their tongues on me gets me close to the edge.  
"You know what sounds so good right now?" Jared hums against my dick and I shake my head.  
"What?"  
"Whip cream," Jared purrs and leans over to push two fingers inside me.  
"Ah!"  
"Yeah, I'll just cover you in it. Spray some on your thighs too. You'd look so nice,"  
Connor snorts,  
"J do you have a food kink?"  
Jared blushes and thrusts his fingers especially hard.  
"I don't know what you're talking about, I think Ev is the one with the food kink, come on, look at him. He almost came when I brought it up," 

Connor rolls his eyes and focuses on sucking my dick hard enough to make my eyes roll into my head.  
"I'm coming," I whimper and Connor kisses me comfortingly.  
"Yeah, do it Evan. Come all over Jared's face."  
I whine loudly and Connor and Jared lap at my dick.  
"That's it baby." Jared sighs and I arch into their mouths. Connor chuckles to himself and kisses my hip.  
"What's so funny?" I ask and Connor sucks the come off my thighs.  
"It's funny that Jared would suggest that, cause cream would go very well with you." He lays his tongue flat and licks me clean.  
"Okay okay, I'm getting too sensitive," I whimper and Connor and Jared sit up and Con pulls me in for a kiss. Jared gently rubs my sides as Connor kisses my throat and jaw.

"You're sweet." Connor hums against my neck and I laugh.  
"What?"  
Jared kisses me too and I wrap my arm around him.  
"Yeah you taste good. Kinda salty, but mostly sweet. Like... Pineapple." Jared sighs and I hide my face in his neck.  
"What have you never tasted your own come before?" Connor asks and I shake my head.  
He dips a finger inside me, sucks it clean, and then kisses me square on the lips.  
"Oh," I whisper when we break apart and Jared snorts.  
"It is like pineapple."  
Jared laughs and tackles me into the bed and we snuggle Connor aggressively.  
"I don't want to go to work tomorrow," Connor sighs and Jared nods.  
"On the bright side your work is so close to Evan and I. We could have lunch together during your break?"  
Connor smiles against my neck and nods.  
"Sounds good."


	12. Part 1

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> holy shit my guy,,, get ready for so many emotions

We were laying in bed, curled up together, watching Stranger Things on Jared's laptop when we heard it.

"JARED CLARISSA MELL, GET DOWN HERE BEFORE I TELL MICHAEL YOU'RE THE ONE WHO STOLE HIS POKEMON CARD!"  
Jared scrambles out of bed and Evan and I watch with wide eyes as Jared sticks his head out the window.  
"MEGAN WHAT THE HELL!"  
"I'M NOT MESSING AROUND, HURRY UP WHITE BOY!"  
"IT'S TEN O'CLOCK?!? I'M NOT COMING DOWN THERE!"  
"LIKE HELL YOU'RE NOT!"  
Jared shuts the window and paces frantically before giving in.

He trips over himself as he pulls on a shirt and a pair of Connor's shorts.  
"Jared what's going on?" Ev asks and Jare flushes.  
"My sister." He grumbles and runs down the stairs.

I didn't know he had a sister?

I get up and put on some clothes too, and wrap Ev in the blanket.  
"Con, I wanna know what's going on! I'm not a child!" I kiss his forehead and he gets up to grab his binder.

And I push him back down.  
"No, you've already worn it for more than eight hours."  
"Then give me your hoodie. It's baggy." 

The door opens downstairs and there's muffled arguing almost instantly.

Ev pulls it on and we peek out at them at the top of the stairs.  
"Megan what are you doing here!"  
"You left us four years ago, stopped calling, and I hear from Alana Beck, of all people, that you're dating someone, and living with them?!? Saan ka pumunta?!" A girl with long black curly hair, dark skin, and freckles all over her is standing in front of the door. So that's Megan?

She doesn't look like his sister, but Zoe doesn't look like me so I can't exactly judge. I should call her...

"Okay, I guess it wasn't fair of me to cut you guys out of my life-" Jared starts. He's hunched over, and he's nervously picking at his cuticles.  
"Hindi tama? HINDI TAMA?!? SOFIE WAS A WRECK! MOM CRIED ALMOST EVERY DAY! LORRAINE AND MICHAEL NEEDED THERAPY FOR YEARS! IKAW AY ISANG ASSHOLE!" She screams and paces wildly in front of him.

What the fuck?  
What is she saying?  
Four years?

"I can't believe you! 'Wasn't fair' Fuck you!"  
"Meg..."  
"Don't you Meg me!" She points a finger at him accusingly and Jare curls in on himself more.  
"You don't deserve any sympathy!"  
"I KNOW!"  
"THEN WHY ARE YOU STANDING THERE LOOKING SORRY FOR YOURSELF?!?"

"Dahil dinaramdam ko!"

"WELL YOU SHOULD BE! YOU LEFT US! YOU WERE OUR BROTHER AND WE LOVED YOU! AND YOU FUCKING LEFT US.  
I WISH WE NEVER ADOPTED YOU, YOU'VE BEEN NOTHING BUT TROUBLE SINCE!"

Jared collapses to his knees and sobs raggedly.  
"I wish my parents killed me but we don't all get what we want!" He cries and his body shakes with every breath.  
Guilt immediately floods Megan's face, and she reaches toward him.  
"Hey!" I shout and her eyes flick up to me. At the top of the stairs.  
And I'm not sure why I shouted in the first place.

"Listen I don't know who you think you are, but you can't come into my house, yell at my boyfriend, and expect no consequences!"  
I make my way down the stairs and stand behind Jared's shaking body on the floor.  
"And you certainly can't tell him you didn't want him. Not around me." I growl and meet eyes with her and she inhales deeply.  
"Jared, Get up." She says and Jare nods.  
Jared moves to stand and I lay a comforting hand on his shoulder. I direct a smile to him and glare at her when I look up.  
"Don't order him around!" I yell and her eyes flash.  
"I was going to apologize, Asshole, but now I'm not feeling like it!" She hisses and Jared gets up on unsteady feet.

"P-please stop fighting. Please? Okay? I know I messed up. I always mess up." He cries and wipes the tears off his face with the sleeve of his shirt.

Megan's glare softens, she grabs Jared's shoulders and turns him toward her. 

I clench my fists, itching to swing at her for treating him like this.

"I'm still mad at you, and I'm not just accepting a simple apology." And then she pulls him into a hug.  
"Never pull shit like this again."  
He nods and grips her jacket with shaky hands.  
"O-okay."  
"And you're going to apologize to everyone."  
"Okay."  
"And you're not going to leave us again."  
"I promise."

Jared sniffs loudly and she ruffles his hair affectionately.  
Then she comes toward me with a hand outstretched.  
Not a hair out of place.  
"Megan Mell. You're the boy I've been told about?" I take her hand begrudgingly when I see Jared's pleading eyes staring at me from behind her.  
"I'm Connor." I say and her eyebrows furrow, then she turns to Jared.  
"B, how many boyfriends have you had since you skipped town?"  
He blushes down to his shoulders and squeaks.  
"W-what do you mean?"  
"Alana told me you were dating an Evan."

The stairs creak and we look up to Ev. He's standing on the fourth to last stair in front of us and he waves awkwardly.  
"T-that's me-E?"  
His voice hasn't cracked like that since we took that public speaking class in junior year.  
Megan looks between us, like we're a calculus problem.  
When she seems to figure it out, the first thing she does is swat the back of Jared's head (DON'T FUCKING TOUCH HIM) and gesture to Ev and I.  
"You have two boyfriends and you kept them both from us?!?"  
Jared hisses and rubs the back of his head.

"What was I supposed to do? Show up out of the blue to introduce you guys and then disappear for four more years? Michael would've killed me on the spot and you know it."  
"I-I'm sorry, but Jared never mentioned any family before..." Ev mumbles and Megan swiftly turns back around.

"That's cause he hates us obviously." She leans her elbow on Jared's shoulder and Jare frowns and tries to shove her off.  
"Whenever he brings anyone home, We do everything in our power to make them leave," She pinches Jared's cheek and he growls something low and threatening, "They'd usually run out around the twenty minute mark."

Ev nods like he understands (I'm sure he doesn't) and I turn to Jared, really looking at him, tear streaked red face, ruffled hair, snotty shirt sleeves.... He's a mess.  
My poor boy  
I want to just, hold him. Is that weird? For an hour or two maybe.  
"What? Jared what is this?" Megan asks and points to a large bruise on his thigh. In the shape of a hand.  
My hand.

Fuck.

"Are they hurting you?" She asks defensively and tugs him away from my side. Jare blushes darkly, and Megan steps in front of him threateningly. She raises her fist towards me.  
"So help me if you're-"  
"Megan! That's not-"  
"Jared don't make excuses for them." Megan hisses and glares at Evan and I harshly.  
I can tell Evan is panicking and I raise my hands up open palm.  
"Listen," I start,  
"I WANTED THEM TO DO THAT!" Jared blurts and Megan blinks a couple times.  
"What?"  
"I uh, like during uh y'know when, um-"  
Megan snorts and shoves at Jared's shoulder.  
"Get some." She laughs and winks at him and he flushes so red that his freckles practically disappear. I can see where Jared gets his humor.

"Hey Jared? Your last name is Mell right?" Evan asks uncomfortably, trying to change the subject.  
Jared bites his lip and nods.  
"Why'd you tell me it was Kleinman?"

Megan's eyes shift from somewhat carefree to broken.  
"You go by their last name but not ours?"  
"Meg I can explain-"  
"They hurt you, a-and neglected you! Why would you change your name back?" Her eyes tear up and Jared frantically flaps his hands.  
"M-Mell never sounded right. It just felt off to me, I love you I promise, Mell just isn't me."  
"Just isn't you?"

"Nonono that's not what I meant I meant like 'Jared Mell', just doesn't sound right to me. And 'Jared Kleinman' does. I don't like the connotations, but I like how it sounds. And I never actually changed it back I would never do that."

She wipes the tears out of her eyes and takes a few deep breaths.  
"You're all coming over for dinner."  
"Wait Meg-"  
"What? Are you worried we're gonna scare your boys away?"  
"No but,"  
"Then you're coming to dinner. 9:00. The address hasn't changed."

And she's gone.

"Jare-"  
Jared's knees shake and his eyes flutter.  
"Oh shit-"  
Evan runs over and catches him before he collapses again, and Jared whimpers into the hood of Ev's (my) jacket.  
"Babe you okay?" I murmur and Jared seems to sink into himself, and he shakes his head.  
I shift closer to them and kiss his head softly.

I rub his back, and then Evan and I hear some soft sobbing.  
"Shit Jare, deep breaths okay?"  
"I'm sorry." He mumbles and Evan shakes his head.  
"Shhhh, it's okay. It'll be okay Jare. We're here."

Jared curls into Evan's chest.  
"Ev you're soft."  
"I know," Evan sighs and I reach over to hesitantly grab Jared's hand. He never goes to me for comfort, but I don't think he'll mind.

He laces our fingers and looks up at me with a watery smile.  
"I love you," He chokes and wipes his face on Evan's (my) hoodie.  
Gross, but can you blame him?  
"Love you too." I whisper and Evan starts swaying back and forth.

"I'll tell you guys everything okay? It's just hard to-"  
"You don't have to promise anything J." I say and run a hand through his hair.  
He sighs shakily and tries to stand up with Evan's help.  
"I-I kind of have to, we're having dinner with them tonight, I-"  
He stops and clutches Evan's arms to keep himself upright as his knees buckle again.  
"Oh g-god- we're having dinner with my-my family tonight."  
"Hey hey, it's okay, look at me." Evan whispers and cups Jared's cheeks in his hands.

"Look, they love you, they've been missing you-"  
"You don't know that!" Jared yelps and throws himself backwards out of Evan's arms. Ev backs away in fear and Jared tugs at his hair angrily.  
"YOU DON'T KNOW ANYTHING, JUST- JUST FUCKING LEAVE ME ALONE EVAN!"  
He scratchs at his arms and I grab them and pin them against his sides.  
"Fuck you!" He yells at me, and thrashes uselessly.  
"Jared. I need you to take a deep breath okay,"  
His breathe hitches and he starts crying again.  
"Please just let me go," he sobs,  
"Please,"  
Jared starts shaking and I slowly sit us both down on the floor.

"I'm letting you go now okay, don't lock yourself in our room again." I release his arms carefully and he wraps them around my waist.  
"I-I'm sorry. I'm so so sorry, I didn't mean to,"  
"Shhhh." I whisper and Evan deems it safe to get close to us again.  
Ev gently lays a hand over Jared's and Jare clasps them tightly.

"Let's go back upstairs hm? You must be exhausted." Evan mutters and Jare nods.  
"I am. I-I'm so sorry for ly-lying to you."  
"What?" I ask and Jared shuts his eyes tightly.  
"For saying I had no family and shit."  
"It's fine Jared." Evan whispers and brushes the bangs out of his eyes.  
"I'm sure you had your reasons."

Jared sniffles and nods.  
"And you don't have to tell us now..." I say and Jare nods.  
"I don't think I'd be able to."  
Evan takes Jared's hand and leads him back up to our room, and I whisper as many sweet things as I can think of into his ear.  
"Sweetheart, you're the sun to my earth."  
"Like sun or son?" Jared laughs and I lightly tap the back of his head.  
"You're my everything."  
"You can't have everything we've been over this."  
"Jared you suck."  
"Only if you want me to." He winks coyly and I groan and lean away.  
He leans on my side,  
"No please tell me more."

"I love you more than Evan loves his cactus."  
"Wow Con you must love me an awful lot." He giggles and Evan blushes bright red.  
"Guys I don't love plants that much." He mutters and I see him squeeze Jared's hand.  
"Evan you fucking named it."

"Shade : thrown. Love : Received. Evan : devastated. I am forcibly removed from my home." Jared laughs, and the flush from crying has cleared slightly. Evan squawks and Jared pushes his way to the bed and lays down right smack in the middle.

"Does Jare want cuddles?" Ev asks with a smile and Jared opens his arms.  
"Absolutely yes."  
Evan and I lay down next to him and Jare pulls the covers up over his arms. I grab his hand and turn it over to reveal the thin white cuts on his inner wrist.  
"Connor-"  
I kiss each one softly, until I get to the last one, closest to his elbow.  
It's a faint red and it stands out eerily against his pale freckled skin.  
"Baby," I whisper and Jared tenses up.  
"I'm sorry."  
"Jared when?" Evan asks with cloudy eyes and Jare sinks deeper into the mattress.  
"I- don't worry, I cleaned it-"  
"Baby when?" I ask and trace the line with my pointer finger gently.

Jared blinks the tears out of his eyes and tries to wrench his wrist out of my grip. But he's too weak, and slumps back down.  
"It was like two nights ago, what's the big deal?"  
"Jared, you know you can talk to us. I talk to you guys when I-"  
"Connor stop being a fucking hypocrite, okay? I know yours are just as fresh as mine, don't try to pretend they're not. And we all know why you do it." Jare hisses and leans away from me.

That stings worse than any fucking razor if I'm being honest.  
Evan grabs Jared's shoulders,  
"We're just worried my love, please talk to us okay?"  
Jared pushes out of Evan's arms as well and tries to get up off the bed.  
"You can't talk either, Mr. I fell out of a tree. And I know the cuts under your chest are very fresh." Jared accuses and Ev's eyes go wide.  
"Y-you don't mean that right-"  
"I meant every word."  
Evan's voice cracks and he sobs.  
"J-Jared-"  
"Fuck you." He mutters and curls in on himself.

"Hey," I growl not quite knowing where I'm going with this.  
"We're all fucking messes, alright? But that's why we're together," I cup his cheek. His lip quivers and he sniffs loudly.

"Because we can help each other. We may not be able to 'fix' you and you sure as hell can't 'fix' us, but Ev and I can be here for you. We will clean your arms, and hold you, and everything and anything you need, okay? But you have to let us in first."

Jared breaks down completely and curls up into a ball, fingernails scratching at his stomach and thighs. Evan takes his hands and presses kisses against them.  
"I'm a fuck up." He chokes and tries to hide his face in his arms.  
I bring him back between us.  
"We all are." I say and Jared shudders for breath.  
"I can't do anything right,"  
"Not true." Evan says softly and Jared sobs.  
"I ruin everything."  
"Are you ruining this?" I ask and Jared nods.  
"Yes." He whimpers.  
"No." Ev sighs as he combs through his hair with his fingers.

We hug for a long time, Jared crying, Evan crying (because Jared's crying), and me trying to calm them both down enough to talk it out.

Jared eventually stops crying and leans against Evan's chest.  
"I didn't mean it Evan. I love you and I know you're sensitive about that... I'm working on being less of an asshole, I promise."  
"I know Jare," Evan whispers, and Jared presses their cheeks together.  
"I'm sorry Connor, I shouldn't have used that against you either."  
"Hey someone needed to kick my ass." I joke and Jared leans forward to embrace me.  
"I'm sorry Con."

"It's okay really,"  
"I'm sorry."  
"Jare-"  
"Accept his apology babe." Evan whispers and I hug him back.  
"Okay, it's okay Jare." I mutter and Jared sobs dryly.  
"I'm awful."  
"No," Evan starts and Jared shakes his head.  
"I shouldn't even be here. You guys were together first and-"  
"Time does not measure love Jared." Evan whispers and I smile softly when Jare looks to me.  
"I can't love anyone else but you, I already think you guys hung the moon with your bare hands."  
Jared giggles and leans back onto the bed.  
"I'm done with crying for today. Can we take a nap or something?"

Jared falls asleep a few minutes after we tuck him in, and Evan curls around him.  
"I love you." Jared mumbles in his sleep and Evan brushes his hair away from his face fondly.  
"connor get your skinny white ass over here."  
Ev smiles and laughs,  
"You heard the man."  
I shift closer and Jared leans back with a sigh. I take his glasses off and put them in his case.

Ev sets a timer for one hour and I feel myself drifting off as well. Evan smiles,  
"Aw my poor babes," And he takes my hand and threads our fingers together.  
"Why are you both so sleepy hm?"  
"Because Jare and I binged conspiracy videos last night, and he just cried the Pacific Ocean." I say softly, and curl myself around my tiny boyfriend.

"Okay love," Evan hums and snuggles up with Jared and I.  
"You can fall asleep, we have the alarm."  
I nod drowsily and press my cheek against the top of Jared's head. His hair is so soft. Evan chuckles softly and I hear a soft click sound.  
"You guys look so cute." Evan whispers and taps something out on his phone.  
I shut my eyes and let myself go, lulled to sleep by Evan's soft rambling and Jared's warm body against mine.

((Yo yo yo time skip my home skillets))

"Hey." Someone whispers and I turn over, away from the voice.  
"Mm."  
"Hey, Connor." Their hand comes down gently on my shoulder and shakes it lightly.  
"Wha?" I murmur and crack open one eye.  
"It's time to get up." I hear the smile in their voice and conclude it's Evan not Jared.  
Jared wouldn't be gentle in the first place now that I think about it.

-  
"WAKE UP BITCH IT'S YOUR BIRTHDAY!!!" Jared screeches.  
"FUCK!"  
I fall out of bed and narrowly avoid hitting my head on the nightstand.  
"Oh shit babe you good?"  
I give him a thumbs up and Jared pops a party popper over my head.  
-

"Connor, babe, you're falling asleep again." Evan shakes my shoulder again, and I sit up and grimace at the taste of my breath.  
"What time is it?"  
"It's twelve thirty my love." He whispers and tucks some hair behind my ear.  
"Did you sleep?" I ask and Evan chuckles,  
"Not a wink, you guys were cute though. And Jared almost kicked you out of bed."  
I snort and comb through my hair with my fingers to straighten it out. It poofs back into the original mess not even a second after.

Well, that's not happening.

I sit up fully and Jared's arms shoot out from beneath the covers and wrap around my waist.  
"No Con, don't listen to him, fight back." He slurs and tries to tug me back down.  
"I tried to get him up earlier and he burrowed down into the sheets." Evan giggles and puts his hands into Jared's armpits, and tugs him up.

"Nooooo Evan babe, blease." He whines and Ev rubs his back.  
"Come on Jare. We have to have lunch anyway."  
"If I ignore everything, then it doesn't exist." He frowns with closed eyes and collapses into my chest. I wrap my arms around him and then he starts softly snoring again.  
"Connor! I just got him up." Evan whines and puts his cold fingers up the back of Jared's shirt.  
Jared squeaks and tries to shrink away from the cold.  
Evan digs his fingers into his sides and looks up when I chuckle.  
"Be careful or I might get you too. Go take a shower or something babes." Evan pulls away and starts heading downstairs.  
"I will make you something to eat if you shower, but if you fall asleep I'm going to watch the rest of Stranger things and make you guys do it."

I tug Jared up and he groans angrily.  
"Come on babe, I'll wash your hair for you." I say sleepily and Jared smiles a little bit.  
"Mkay."  
I tug him over to the bathroom and we slump against the counter as we wait for the water to heat up. I tug my shirt off and slip my boxers down-  
And Jared's staring.  
"Like what you see?" I ask and Jared turns away and starts to undress as well.  
"I mean yeah obviously," He snorts in response, and I kiss the back of his neck and hug him from behind.  
He relaxes and kicks his boxers to the corner of the room.  
"Is the water warm yet?" He asks softly and I nod upon seeing the fog on the shower door. 

Jared yawns and rubs his cheek into my shoulder.  
"My eyes hurt." He whispers and I kiss his cheek.  
"I'm sorry baby."  
I open the door and step under the stream and Jared stares for a solid fifteen seconds.  
"What're you doing? Get in here."  
Jare blinks and joins me quickly. He shuts the door behind him and starts kissing my neck. I lean my head to the side a little and he hums happily.  
I lightly shake his shoulder and carefully turn him around.  
"I'll wash your hair okay?"  
"You don't have to." He mumbles and I shrug.  
"I don't go back on my promises." 

He goes boneless when I lather the soap into his scalp, and he mumbles something softly.  
"What?"  
"Love you." He whispers and I help him rinse without getting soap in his eyes.  
After conditioner he seems to wake up a little more and he turns around to hug me.  
"Let's go join Ev downstairs hm?" I say and Jared nods sluggishly.  
I wrap him up in a towel and his eyes drop.  
"Love you baby."  
Jared smiles weakly and leans into my side.  
"Can't we just forget this morning? Do we have to deal with it at all? It'd be so much easier if it was just us, y'know?" Jared sighs sadly and I rub his shoulder comfortingly.

"J, I know how you feel, and I know you've heard this a million times, but it does get better. I'll be here for you until it does."

Jared's eyes well up with tears and he nods. "Y-yeah."  
Jared leans into my side and wipes his eyes on the towel.  
"I promise. And if it doesn't I'll kick God's ass."  
Jared sniffs and laughs.  
"I love you Con."  
"Love you too Jare." I whisper and wrap my arm around his waist.

He lets me pick out soft clothes for him, and when we get downstairs Ev is sitting by the oven, anxiously watching through the glass.  
"Ev you okay?" Jared asks.  
And that's so like him. 

Even if he feels awful he takes care of other people.

"Y-yeah, I'm just... Our oven keeps going up and down in temperature and I'm worried that I'll burn the pizza."  
Jared shrugs and gives Evan a hug.  
"I'd still eat it."  
Evan snorts and leans his back into Jared's chest.  
"Yeah, you would, but you also drink vinegar and eat butter sandwiches."  
For clarification; a butter sandwich is just bread and butter and Jared always wants it when he's sick. (No it's not toast, it's exactly what it sounds like)  
"Babe you can make fun of me, but you can never make fun of my pregnant woman eating habits!"  
Evan laughs and laces their fingers together.  
"Jared I love you."  
"I love you too Ev." He sniffs lightly and leans against his side.  
"You'll... Tell us about everything eventually right? I don't want to go in there blind." Evan asks hesitantly and Jared nods.  
"Yep. I promise." He gets a little choked up, but he powers through whatever it was.  
"Please don't think of me differently..." He sighs and Evan grabs his hand.  
"Never."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Let me know if there's anything that needs fixing/editing  
> This is a big chapter so it would help a lot :)  
> Hope you liked the fever dream I put into words
> 
> Translations (if I did this right)  
> Saan ka pumunta: Where did you go/Where were you  
> Hindi tama: Wasn't fair  
> Ikaw ay isang asshole: You are an asshole  
> Dahil dinaramdam ko: Because I am sorry


	13. Part 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> :(  
> TW:  
> Rape/Noncon  
> Verbal/Physical Abuse  
> :(  
> Eating disorder
> 
> I'm so sorry

Jared has us sit down on the couch and he anxiously paces in front of us.  
"Jare you look like Evan when I asked him to prom." Connor jokes.  
Jared laughs, but it's forced and he starts to bite his nails.  
"Okay, so don't hate me," he starts and I sigh,  
"Jared you said that eight times, it can't be that bad."  
"It is that bad though!" Jared yells and I put my hand on Jared's shoulder.  
"Okay okay I'm calm, I'm calm."  
"Breathe sweetheart,"  
Jared looks up at me and I smile back softly. "You know we'll stand by you no matter what."

Jared cracks his knuckles andsighs,  
"I don't know where to begin... I uh, I have three sisters, one brother, and my mom and dad and I-"  
He stops and swallows harshly.  
"I ran away, for reasons I can't tell you about right now."  
I want to comfort him desperately, but the coffee table between us feels like we're standing on opposite ends of the Grand Canyon.  
Jared swallows,  
"Um, my sisters names are, Lorraine, Sofia, and Megan, you met her, and Michael is my brother. And from what you heard, my last name is not Kleinman, it's Mell, and I was adopted."  
Jared pauses again and Connor smiles at him sadly.

"What uh, what you didn't know is I was rescued by child services when I was five because my biological parents ran off after they abused me... They got away. Besides, I couldn't really testify to anything I didn't understand."  
Jared takes off his sock and shows us the bottom of his foot.  
I cover my mouth,  
White cigarette scars litter his feet, and Connor makes an awful choked sound.  
"When did they do this to you? Why?" I ask in horror and Jared shrugs.  
"My parents think it happened just after I was born. And because they could?"  
My shoulders start to shake and Jared reaches a hand toward me.  
"Ev baby please don't freak out, look I'm fine now,"  
Connor watches with panic in his eyes as Jared and I fail to comfort each other.

"I'm sorry to say I'm not done and that's one of the more minor things," Jared sighs and fiddles with the hem of his shirt.  
I already know what he's going to show us.  
"No." I whisper and Jared lifts it to show us the 'stretch marks' on his sides.  
"I've been lying to you, these aren't... They're not stretch marks like I told you, They're. Belt scars? I don't remember much and Nanay wouldn't tell me anything about it, but from what I remember Mrs. Kleinman would hit me with the buckle instead of the leather. So it would cut," Jared stops mid sentence and I cup Connor's cheek and swipe my thumb through the tears on his face.  
"Baby," Jared whispers and Connor sniffs.  
"Why would we hate you?"  
Jared shrugs and bites his lip,  
"I guess I thought you'd be... Disgusted with me? Or too scared to love me anymore."  
Connor is extra gentle with him when he pulls Jared into a hug.

"Never." He whispers into his shoulder and Jared clings to him desperately.  
"I'm sorry." He whispers and retreats to his side of the living room.  
He pulls up his sleeves and points to the more jagged scars on his inner wrist.  
"Jared," I cry and wipe my eyes.  
He points to the first one, "Mrs." Then the second one, "And Mr."  
"A little going away present." Jared says tiredly and I stumble up, despite Jared telling me please sit down, he's not done, I kiss the scars and hug him.  
"I'm so, so, sorry they did that to you."  
"Ev-"  
"I can't believe someone would do that to you. Jared. My love,"  
I cups his cheeks and kiss him sadly and Jared chokes up.  
"Go sit before I break down Evan."  
"But-"  
"Please," Jared whimpers and I sit back next to Connor reluctantly and grab his hand.

"After the Mells adopted me, I got better but um, something happened and let's just say I didn't feel safe anymore. I didn't want to tell my parents because they'd hate me, you know? Well anyway, I decided I had enough. I met a guy, Jonathan, at school and he agreed to let me live with him and he'd pay for everything if I did specific things for him,"

"Oh god." Connor sobs and squeezes my hand hard. "That's why you didn't want to get attached or intimate,"  
"Oh um well it wasn't like that... I just had to pretend to be his boyfriend."  
"Have we ever given you flashbacks to..." I whisper and Jared's eyes go wide.  
"No no no! Oh god no! I feel so so safe with you guys, no I would tell you." Jared rambles on and gags a couple times in his mouth.  
"So uh, yeah. I met Alana, who told me I had to work with her because this Olive Garden was different, and let me be honest, it's still shit, but Alana sees something in it and I trust her. Got on my feet, rented an apartment and here we are."  
He pauses awkwardly and I wipe my face on Connor's sweater.  
"You heard from Meg that this was about four years ago," 

"You were seventeen when you ran away?" Connor asks and Jared coughs awkwardly.  
"I forget that you actually passed math, uh yeah that's true."  
His ears are bright red.  
Connor and I stare at him in shock.  
"I know, I was young and stupid and I thought I just had to get out of there. So I did and I regret not telling anyone."  
"Can I hug you now?" I whisper and Jared nods once hesitantly.  
I get up and fall into his arms, squeezing him tightly and brushing my fingers through his hair.  
"I love you. I love you."  
"Evan," Jared whispers and hugs my middle."I love you too."  
"No, I love you so much baby. So so much and I'm so sorry." I whisper and lean down to kiss him.  
Jared returns it, only just starting to cry.  
"It's okay," I whisper and Jared's arms move up to my back to grip at the hoodie awkwardly.  
"I'm sorry for not telling you," Jared whimpers and nuzzles his face into my neck.  
"You have reasons."  
Jared chokes through a laugh and I kiss his forehead and cheeks.  
"Not really."  
"Baby," I whisper and push his bangs away.  
"If it made you shake and cry like that, then it's a good reason not too."  
Jared shrugs and I plant another soft kiss against his lips.

"Anything else we should know?" When Connor speaks, it surprises me with how rough his voice is with disuse.  
"I don't know. Michael is oddly affectionate? Lorraine's probably going to be studying for the bar exam... Oh Sofia won't be there, if I remember correctly."  
"Why?" Connor asks and Jared sighs.  
"Disciplinary school, as far as I know."  
We leave it alone and Jared shuffles over to Connor with me.  
"I'm gonna sit down," Jared says and Connor frowns.  
"You don't need to ask,"  
He collapses into Connor's chest and hugs him tightly.  
"Oh." Connor whispers and our small boyfriend shudders.  
"I'm sorry." He says again and I kiss him lightly.  
"Please don't be sorry baby,"

Jared is a quiet crier. It starts out low and soft, and then only raises in pitch. He doesn't sob loudly unless he's screaming. And I hate that I can't pick up on it as well.

"Jared please don't cry, it'll be okay." Connor whispers and I finally notice that Jared's shoulders are shaking and he's hiding his face.  
Jared shakes his head 'no' and I squeeze him.  
"It'll be okay Jared. Do you need me to beat up your feelings for you?" Connor asks.  
Jared looks up with a small choked laugh and he wipes his nose on his sleeve.  
"Please do." He rasps and Connor kisses his forehead.  
"Okay baby tell them to meet me behind the Denny's."  
Jared nods and I lean closer to hug him from behind.  
"We have a couple hours before we have to get ready." I sigh and squeeze Jared's waist, running my fingertips over the lines. "What do you want to do until we have to go?" I ask softly and Jared shrugs.  
"What time is it?" Connor asks and I check my watch.  
"Two."  
"Let's take another nap," Jared sighs and I laugh.  
"No come on we slept in till ten and then went back to bed for another hour. We have to do something."  
"But I'm tired," Jared whines and Connor kisses his head.  
"Soon my love. But not right now okay?"  
Jared holds his hand and cuddles his side, "Paki?"  
"What?" I ask and Jared whines,  
"Evan mo ako at pagod !!"  
"Baby please speak English," I say softly and Jared flushes.  
"Am I spíking another language?"  
Connor nods and Jared buries his face in his chest.  
"English?"  
"Yes." I confirm and Jared relaxes.  
"Sorry... Sometimes I don't pay attention well enough. Being bilingual is a double edged sword."  
"How come you never told us?" Connor asks and Jared busies himself with cleaning his glasses.  
"My family is Filipino. It's part of my culture, so I thought it'd be best to just ignore it and hope I don't slip up." Jared shrugs and slides his glasses back on.

"I kind of liked speaking it with Megan today. Even if we were fighting. I missed it."  
I nuzzle his neck and smile against Jared's collarbone.

I have an idea,

"What if you teach us? Then you can speak it at home." I suggest and Jared blushes.  
"Uh yeah, sure sounds awesome."  
"I wanna learn how to say I love you first." Connor says and Jared covers his face with a short whine.  
"Mahal Kita."  
Connor repeats (pretty badly) and Jared snorts and responds with, "Walang hindi 'mahal' nobya."  
Connor hisses at him and Jared kisses his cheek.  
"Mahal kita." He says again and Connor flushes brightly.  
"I love you too J."

"I want to know how to say harder, faster, and 'you're so good'." I chime in and Jared blushes darkly.  
"I am not teaching you any of that."  
"Pleeeeeeaaassseee?" I whine and Jared hides his face in Connor's hair.  
"Nooooo,"  
"Why not?" I sigh and Jared glares.  
"Because that's dirty and wrong." Jared sticks his tongue out at me and I giggle.  
"You didn't seem to think it was 'wrong' last night,"  
"Stop!" Jared blurts and pulls a blanket off the back of the couch over his face.  
"Okay, I'll stop baby, you don't need to hide."  
I spoon him, Connor entangles their legs together and before we know it, he's out cold.  
"Connor are you okay?" I ask softly and Connor nods, gently petting Jared's hair and listening to his soft snores.  
"Are you?" He asks and I sigh.  
"Yeah."  
Believe it or not, when your boyfriend just came clean to you, it's hard to talk about it.

"So," I start and Connor echoes it with a weak smile,  
"So."  
"Uh-"  
"Listen-"

We both stop ourselves.  
"You can go first." I offer.  
"No, uh it's fine I wasn't gonna say anything important anyway."  
I lean over and gently squeeze Jared's hips.  
Jared mumbles something soft and I kiss the top of his head.  
"I love him." I whisper and Connor nods.  
"I love him too."  
I sigh and takes Jared's hand into my own.  
"I don't want to push, but I wish he could tell us why he ran away. So we can tell him it's okay. And that he's safe with us."  
Connor nods again and wraps one arm around Jared and the other around both of us.  
"I don't want him to bottle this up."  
"Me neither."  
"What were you gonna say earlier?" I ask and Connor smiles and gives him a kiss on the cheek.  
"You already said everything that I couldn't put into words."  
"You're an English major!"  
"Doesn't mean my verbal skills aren't shit." Connor scoffs and I laugh.  
I cuddle closer and Jared makes a soft purr noise beneath his breath.  
"This is nice," Connor hums and places his chin on Jared's head.

"Evan?"  
"Yeah?" I say tiredly and Connor presses Jared's thighs together to get rid of the space between themselves.  
"What if his family doesn't like us? Or they like us but they don't want Jared to date two people? Or what if they blame us for making him run away?"  
I place a hand on his cheek and brings his eyes back over to me.  
"What if what if what if. Connie, do you really they'd be focusing on us? They'll be glad to have him home."  
Connor nods and brushes Jared's hair out of his eyes.  
"I'm just nervous. And worried. And scared, for him."  
"Me too honey, me too." 

Connor and I stay with him until he wakes up.  
"Rise and shine Jare Bear." I hum softly in his ear and Jared bats at me with his hand.  
"Not yet,"  
"We don't have much time before we have to go love."

Connor tugs us up and into the bathroom, where we fix our hair, brush our teeth, and change.  
Connor pulls on a purple zip up hoodie, dark blue skinny jeans, and his boots.  
Jared just changes his shorts for pants and dusts off the front of his shirt.  
I search through the room and start to freak out over looking nice for Jared's family.  
Jared gives me one of his t shirts and Connor picks out a pair of soft 'travel pants'* and then we're ready.

*travel pants are what I wear on planes that are comfy to sleep in and nice enough to walk around in.

Now we're just awkwardly waiting on the couch.  
Jared said it would take twenty minutes to get there, but we have about thirty minutes to spare.  
I eventually turn on the tv to distract us and we watch Scrubs silently, Jared occasionally turning to kiss one of us.  
"Jared what do you think is going to happen?" Connor asks and Jared shrugs.  
"Hell if I know. I'm probably gonna get slapped by Mom though."  
"What?" Connor growls and Jared blushes.  
"She's probably gonna smack me with a wooden spoon or book. Or anything readily accessible,"  
Connor pulls him into his lap and kisses his jaw and cheek.  
"If she tries to hit you I don't know what I'll do,"  
"Connor, they're all probably gonna smack me at least once. They're angry,"  
"I don't know what I'll do." Connor growls again and Jared falls silent, uncomfortable by how protective he's being.  
"Connor I deserve it,"  
"No." Con snuffles his neck and Jared settles against him.

I turn off the tv and Connor crawls into the backseat, Jared at the wheel and me in the passenger.  
I figured he needed support.

With a careful squeeze on Jared's shoulder, or a perfectly timed peck on the cheek, Jared is relaxed and only mildly freaking out about going home.  
"We'll protect you Jared." I murmur softly when the GPS announces that we're on the street.  
Jared pulls up to a cream colored house with green accents, and he anxiously taps his fingers against the wheel. Obviously stalling.  
I grab his hand and give him another soft kiss and Jared swallows hard.  
He nods to himself and we get out of the car.  
There's a small post it note taped above the doorbell,

JUST KNOCK.

And Jared hesitantly taps his knuckles against the wood.  
"ILL GET IT!" Someone yells and a tall boy with black hair opens the door.  
"Jeremy!-"  
And then he stops.  
"Hi?" Jared offers and the boys eyes flash.  
"....Jared?"  
Jared nods curtly and the boy grabs his shoulders and pulls him into a tight hug.  
"Is it really you?" He cries. Then he sobers up and his hug seems more like a death grip.  
"Where have you been. I missed you..."

"I'm sorry Mikey." Jared murmurs and oh wait duh Jared's only brother is named Michael.  
Michael rubs at his eyes with the palms of his hands.  
"Who are they?" He asks and points to us.  
"Uh, my boyfriends?" Jared says awkwardly and I start to panic. Connor grabs my hand and I swallow shakily.  
"Damn, I could hardly ask out one boy how'd you get two?"  
Jared snorts,  
"I guess I'm just that irresistible."  
"He broke his nose and we drove him to the hospital." Connor murmurs and Michael laughs.  
"That sounds more like Jared."  
J growls something under his breath and I gently pat his head.  
Michael spins around and calls into the kitchen,  
"Mom, Jared's home!"  
"Oh good tell him-" A woman exclaims and then we hear something clatter to the floor.  
There's a muffled 'I'll get that.' And a short woman with curly brown hair and freckles dotting her nose, rushes in and grabs Jared's cheeks.  
She sobs and holds him just as tight, if not tighter than Michael had.  
"Jared."  
Jared hugs her back and buries his face in her shoulder.  
"I'm so sorry Mom." He whispers and She nods.  
"It's okay baby. It's okay. You're home now."

Michael introduces Connor and I to Lorraine and Jared's dad, who were sitting in the kitchen when Mrs. Mell broke the pyrex dish.  
After introductions, Mrs. Mell insists we call her Laura and complains to Jared that 'you don't feed him enough, look at him, he's so skinny'  
Connor awkwardly tugs at his hoodie to make it seem puffier and Jared berates his Mom to stop making him uncomfortable.  
"I'm just saying you need to take care of your boyfriends." She replies and Jared flushes.  
"I take care of them Ma!"  
"Doesn't look like it,"  
Jared and his Mom keep going back and forth until a young girl, maybe 18 or 19, enters the room with an empty Fanta can.

Jared goes still and silent.  
"Mom?" The girl asks and points at Jared, "Who's this."  
Jared starts to sweat and Laura smiles.  
"Are you telling me you don't recognize your brother?"  
She rolls her eyes and gestures behind her.  
"Very funny, Michael's in the living room."  
Jared clears his throat, "I'm sorry."

"That doesn't answer my question,"

"You know you had more than one brother right? Don't bullshit me." Jared scoffs and she wipes her nose on her jacket.  
"Well yeah, once. But he's dead." She says and walks past them, reaching into the fridge and trading her empty can for a full one.  
Jared goes pale and runs a hand through his hair.  
Connor gently places his hand on Jared's shoulder and his mom smiles approvingly at him.  
Jared hisses something to himself and follows her out of the room.

They start yelling and I realize Jared doesn't have as close a relationship with his sisters. I met Lorraine, but she's too quiet. Megan and Sofia are very outspoken, of course they'd fight with Jared.

But even so, Megan and Jared seemed to have a good relationship.

Jared comes back into the kitchen in a huff and leans his face against my chest.  
"I wanna go home," He whispers softly.

I look over at Laura to check if she heard, but she didn't seem to.  
"Lori can you set the table?"  
She calls out into the living room and Lorraine hurries over, taking plates and bringing them into the dining room.  
Michael comes in and gently taps Connor's shoulder.  
"You're staying right?"  
Connor nods and Michael takes out two extra placemats.  
"What about Jared?" I ask and Michael flushes.  
"We kind of, kept setting a place for him after he left us."  
"Quit telling everyone I'm dead," Jared jokes and Michael's entire face goes red.  
"I didn't mean it like that!"  
Jared hums and narrows his eyes.  
"Yeah right."

 

Dinner is more awkward than homecoming without a date.

Jared and Sofie glare at each other across the table, and Laura is the only person trying to make conversation.  
"So, Connor, Evan, how did you meet Jared?"  
I snort and take Jared's hand under the table.  
"He tripped and we drove him to the hospital."  
Jared shows off the scar on his nose with a smirk.  
Laura laughs and says, "That's definitely something my son would do." 

A beat of silence.

"Michael wouldn't do that," Sofie locks eyes with Jared. "He's not a dumbass."  
Jared stands up angrily.  
"Fuck you." He says, heartbroken, and stomps down the hall, then slams a door.  
I tense up and there's a long moment of tense silence.  
Connor takes out his phone and texts Jared. Then he shows it to me.

Connie Boi  
Where are you?

J  
Down the hall, second door on the right.

I grab Connor's hand and stand up,  
"Oh good are you leaving?" Sofie asks and Connor nods stiffly, trying not to scream.  
I get to a room with the words,

Mikey and JJ's room! NO VAMPIRES ALLOWED

stuck to the door.  
I knock and Jared opens it,  
His face is bright red and his sleeves are drenched.  
"I told you they wouldn't want me back. Let's go home, okay?"  
For now.  
I take his hand and Connor and I pull him out of the house.

Connor hangs back and I breathe deeply, hoping he doesn't blow up on Jared's family.

-  
"Jared is a fucking gift of a person, and I won't forget this." Connor says darkly and slams the front door behind him, waving at Evan in the car.  
-

Jared is curled around a pillow in the backseat, completely cried out, but still making these short dry sobs that feel like a knife being twisted in my chest.  
Connor slams the door and waves to me, I wave back and he gets in the car.  
Michael runs out and knocks on my window.  
I roll it down halfway.  
"What." I say disinterestedly and Michael hands me a piece of paper.  
"I don't want to kick Jared out." He blurts and I turn it over.  
"That's my phone number, please don't lose it. I swear, I didn't want you guys to leave."

I contemplate throwing the paper back at him and driving off, but Michael looks desperate.  
"I'll think about it." I say instead and fold it.  
"But for now, we're not coming back to this hellhole."

We're on the freeway when Jared starts sleep talking.  
"No one wants you." He mumbles quietly and his eyelashes flutter.  
"They shouldn't have adopted you, you weren't worth it."  
Connor unbuckles his seatbelt and climbs into the back.  
He props Jared up against his chest and whispers,  
"Shh, it's okay Jared. I want you."  
Jared murmurs in response and Connor smiles.  
"I love you J. So much. I could never have known that you breaking your nose would lead to one of the best things to happen to me."

I watch them in the mirror and Jared sleepily rubs his face against Connor's chest.  
"I love you all the way to Pluto and back."  
Jared releases the pillow, letting it drop to the floor, and squeezes Connor's stomach instead.  
I force myself to watch the road, even though all I want to do is look at them.  
Jared murmurs a soft "I love you" back and Connor kisses him on his head.  
Then Connor rocks them back and forth-

And damnit Evan focus! You're almost home!

Ten minutes pass before we pull into the driveway, and when I look back, Connor and Jared are curled up together.  
Connor is asleep, drooling on Jared's hair and Jared's snoring loudly now. Connor doesn't seem to be bothered by it, and makes a soft high pitched noise.

I turn off my ringer and flash and take a picture of them. It's such soft lighting and they both look so cute,

I squeal quietly and make it my lock screen.  
"Jared, Connor, it's time to get up."  
Jared whines and Connor doesn't hear me.  
"Babes, we have a bed upstairs, and I'll get the big comforter out of the guest room."  
Connor laughs in his sleep,  
"Evan you're funny."  
"Okay thank you baby, I'm glad I'm funny, but you have to get up."

Connor groans and buries his face in Jared's neck.  
"Nooooo,"  
I get out of the car, turn it off, and open their door.  
I pick up Jared and tug him out of Connor's arms.  
Connor whines loudly and Jared makes a soft noise that sounds like a 'No.'  
I carry him to the front door, unlock it, and lay him down on the couch.  
Jared shivers,  
"Cold. Ev cold." He whines and I pick one of our blankets up off the floor and tuck it around him.  
"I'll be back in a second Jared, I have to go get Connor."

When I turn around, Connor is sleepily standing in the front door, and I help him shrug off his jacket.  
"'M tired." He mumbles and I stand on my tip toes to kiss his forehead.  
"I know honey, I know."

I end up carrying Jared up the stairs, and Connor holds onto the back of my shirt to steady himself.

I gently lay Jared down and then Connor collapses next to him, immediately latching onto Jared's warm body.  
"Evan," He whines and I give him another kiss on the head.  
"I'm gonna go get the comforter." I whisper softly and Jared weakly tries to grab at me.  
I pull the blanket off the guest bed and drape it over Jared and Connor.  
"Okay now come here." Jared whines and I start unlacing my shoes.  
"You need to get changed lovelies," I whisper softly to them and Connor groans.  
"Ick." He mumbles even as he gets up and tugs his boots off.  
Jared pulls off his converse and throws them into the closet carelessly.  
"Okay now come here Ev."  
I climb onto the bed after taking off my jacket and Jared lets me collapse on top of him.  
"Thank you for driving Evan." Connor whispers and I shrug.  
"It was nothing."

Connor gives me a huge kiss on the cheek and his smile practically splits his face in two.  
"I'm so proud of you Evan Hansen. So proud, look how far you've come since our freshman year."  
I blush and let him kiss me again.  
"You didn't even know me freshman year," I mutter and Connor smirks.  
"I may not have known you but I was well aquatinted with watching you from afar. Boy was that fun."  
I pinch his arm lightly and kiss him to shut him up.  
"Okay, let's go to sleep now. Alright Jared?"  
Jared nods and curls up, wrapping his arms around my middle. Connor scoots closer and puts his arm under Jared's neck. I awkwardly shuffle off of Jared and lay half on him half on the bed.  
"We need a bigger bed." Connor groans and Jared nods.  
"Yeah, but I kinda like being crowded. As long as I get to be close to you guys."  
I smush our lips together and Jared giggles and kisses back eagerly.  
"I knew I'd get some from Hansen if I was cheesy." Jared teases and I shrug.  
"Yeah, I'm weak..."

Connor fluffs the pillow then sneezes.  
"Aw you sneeze like a kitten!" I laugh fondly and Connor turns and glares at me.  
"You sneeze like a bitch,"  
"Oof my bones." I snicker and Connor flushes,  
"Whatever Evan."  
Of course Jared falls asleep first, then I feel myself start to nod off.  
"Promise you'll sleep tonight?" I say to Connor and he nods.  
"Good," I whisper and Connor runs his hand through my hair.  
"Weirdo."  
Connor laughs and my vision blurs.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Translations (If I got this right)  
> Paki: Please  
> Evan mo ako at pagod!: Please Evan I'm so tired  
> spíking: speaking  
> Mahal Kita: I Love you  
> Walang hindi 'mahal' nobya: No not 'expensive' sweetheart.


	14. Part 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> TW:  
> Rape/Non-Con  
> Eating Disorders  
> Vomit/Sickness  
> Lots of crying 
> 
> I'm sorry,
> 
> Uh Michael is trying to be a good brother but he hasn't seen Jared in forever don't be too mean to him

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> DETAILED DESCRIPTIONS OF RAPE!!! DO NOT READ IF YOU CAN'T HANDLE IT!!!!  
> EATING DISORDERS & DEPRESSION ARE SERIOUS THINGS AND I AM NOT ROMANTISIZING ANYTHING IN THIS CHAPTER!!  
> THINGS LIKE THIS SCAR SOMEONE FOR LIFE
> 
> Okay enjoy

I wake up wrapped in a huge blanket surrounded by Evan and Connor. Evan is awake and tapping away on his phone and Connor is sleep talking about dressing fruit?  
God what a weirdo.  
He's a cutie, but still a weirdo.  
"Hey Ev what you doing?" I ask softly and clear my throat a couple times.  
"Texting my mom. She wants us to come home thanksgiving... If you wanted to go that is, we could just as easily stay here,"  
Evan starts to ramble and I sit up on my elbows and press a soft kiss to his lips.  
"Slow down love. You don't need to worry, I'd love to go to Heidi's on Thanksgiving. That woman is a blessing," I say with a smile and Evan nods.  
Then his eyes drift over to Connor.  
"Well, you see if we visit Mom, then we'll have to visit The Murphy's too..."  
I swallow and lean back.  
"That could be a problem."  
The Murphy's don't really like me (yet another family that doesn't want me around) and me showing up out of no where and having Thanksgiving dinner with them is out of the question.  
Zoe doesn't really mind me, but she and Connor's relationship is fragile. If either of them tried to get into the others' personal life, it would be like opening the gates to hell.

Evan nods and I lean back onto the pillows.  
"Ughhhhh why is everything so complicated?"  
This is why I ran away in the first place,  
(I mean not really, but do you get me? I'm exaggerating to prove a point)  
Evan pulls his legs up to himself and I hear him delete everything he just wrote.

"I said we'd figure it out once Connor is up," Evan says cheerfully and I nod.  
"So, Murphy's is a no, Hansen's is a yes, anywhere else we could go?" Evan asks.  
I hum and try to think.  
"We could crash Alana's thanksgiving?"  
Evan snorts and ruffles my hair.  
"Sure babe, let's go to Alana's house unannounced, she'll be completely fine with that..."

My phone pings, and I reach down to get it.  
It goes off at least seven more times.  
What the fuck?

YOU HAVE 15 NEW MESSAGES!

I open them,  
[Squip Squad]

Poor  
YOU WERE IN TOWN AND DIDNT THINK TO TELL ME?!? AJEBOANSBENK

Mikey  
sorry JJ they kinda forced me to tell them

Jeremiah  
He's a lier,,.. Mike called me last night 

Mikey  
>:0!!! Why would you out me like that Jere?!?

I don't read the rest and set my phone down on the nightstand.  
Evan hugs me and brushes his fingers through my hair.  
"What's wrong?" He asks and I bury my face in his neck.  
"Everyone from home is texting me."  
They're acting like everything is back to normal..  
It's fucking not, do they not understand that I was kicked out? Legitimately thrown out of the place I grew up?  
Why are they pretending like nothing bad ever happened...  
Evan frowns and picks up my phone.  
"Can I look?"   
I nod and he types in the passcode.

Insanely cool dude  
Stop bothering my boyfriend or there will be consequences :)

Evan turns the ringer off and sets it back down.  
"Okay it's off baby."   
I hug him hard and sigh.  
"I love you. You're so amazing,"  
Evan kisses my forehead and I feel him smile into my hair.  
"No you are,"  
Connor sleepily sits up and drapes himself along my back.  
"Who's amazing?"  
"Jared is."  
"Evan is."  
Connor looks between us with a smile,   
"But you're both right,"  
I throw my leg over Evan's hip to get closer and Evan smiles. He takes my hand and kisses the back, then he slowly trails kisses up my arm to my mouth.  
I grab his face and press our lips together when he gets halfway.  
"There shouldn't be any foreplay for kissing Evan."  
Evan shrugs and melts into it and then Connor whines.  
"I wanna kiss too!"  
I turn around and do the same to him and he sighs before blushing a deep pink.  
"Nerd." I mumble against his mouth and Connor giggles.  
"I know."

I shimmy down further into the blankets and Evan puts his chin on my head.  
"I'm so tired," I whine and Connor laughs.  
"One time in High school, I pulled an all nighter, and I said 'I'm tired' so much that I thought Evan was going to kill me,"   
I laugh and Evan shrugs.  
"You told me you were tired every five seconds Con."  
Connor takes his hand with a coy smile,  
"Because I was! But now you have to put up with it because you love me,"

Look at them, they don't even care about you... Reminiscing about the beginnings of their relationship like a married couple. I'll bet they've completely forgotten about you. I mean, who wouldn't?

"Jared?"  
"What? Oh sorry I wasn't listening, sorry," I say and Evan looks at me worriedly.  
"It's okay Jare, I just said do you want to go out for breakfast?"  
My stomach twists at the thought of eating anything.  
"Sounds good. Where were you guys thinking?"  
Connor takes my hand and now they both look worried.  
"I was thinking the Dupar's down the street, but I know you don't like breakfast food."   
I nod, "That's fine, Breakfast doesn't sound too bad right now."

2 lies can you spot them?  
1\. I love pancakes, I just don't love eating in the morning. I told them I didn't like breakfast as an excuse not to...  
2\. Anything that goes in my mouth today will immediately come back up.

I get up, even though it feels like my lungs collapsed, and pull at the shirt I've been wearing for three nights in a row. How long has it been since I've taken a shower?  
Evan ruffles my greasy hair and his face betrays that he's thinking the same thing.  
Connor rolls his shoulders and pops open his pill case, taking out one and checking his watch. He swallows it dry and then resets the alarm for after lunch.  
Evan blushes darkly, grabs his anxiety medication and runs downstairs.  
Evan doesn't like taking them in front of us, it embarrasses him for some reason.

Connor and I follow after I give him another kiss and we find Evan sitting on the couch with a blanket tucked around him.  
"Hi," He says softly and I collapse next to him, too lazy to even think about going anywhere.  
"Hey,"  
Evan inches closer to me and lays his head on my shoulder.  
"It's too warm but I don't want to get up,"  
I nod and try to snuggle closer. Evan opens the blanket and puts his arm around me, letting me set my face in his neck.  
Connor sits down on Evan's other side and starts to make incoherent whining sounds until Evan lets him under the blanket.  
"What are you gonna get for breakfast Ev?" Connor asks and Evan shrugs,  
"Probably an omelet or something."  
I cover my mouth when I gag and Connor gently places a hand on my back.  
He rubs my back in a circular pattern and bends down a little bit to meet my eyes.  
"Hey, are you okay baby? You're not getting sick are you?"  
I shake my head and Evan sits up a little bit.  
"Do you need me to get a bowl or a trash can?" Evan asks and I shake my head harder and curl into his chest, pressing the hand against my mouth tighter.

Connor gets up and Evan gently rocks me back and forth.  
"Shhhhhhhhh," He whispers soothingly and I swallow the acid in my mouth.  
Connor comes back with a  
First aid kit and takes out a thermometer.  
He holds it in front of me and I glare at him.  
"Jared..."  
I try to say no but I almost throw up again.  
Evan carries me to the bathroom and the second I'm in front of the toilet I throw up loudly.  
Evan takes my glasses before they fall, and Connor pulls my bangs out of the way.  
"Fuck." I sob as another wave of nausea passes over me.  
Ev helps me up and gives me a soft kiss on the head.  
"I'm sorry baby, do we need to stay home today?"

But they were so exited to go...

"No." I rasp out and Connor hands me my toothbrush.  
"Are you sure?" Connor asks and I glare at myself in the mirror.  
"Yep. I think it was just something I ate." I say, even through I haven't eaten since breakfast yesterday. Or was it two days ago?  
Either way that was all acid.

Evan kisses my cheek and hands me a towel to wipe my mouth. I clean off the vomit and spit and smile at Evan weakly.  
"Are you sure you want to go Jared? We could stay here if you're sick. We don't mind, right Connor?"  
Connor nods and wraps his arms around my waist.  
"I'd be happy to just make you guys something." He adds and I swallow my spit in an attempt not to throw up again.  
"No I'm fine. I'll just take a shower and then I'll feel better," I attempt a smile. "I promise."

I'm taking a shower when my knees decide to just, stop working. 

God your legs can't even hold you up anymore.

Connor and Evan rush in to find me on the floor of the shower and Connor comes in and picks me up. Evan turns the water off and gives me a towel.  
Connor's arms are shaking to hold me.

You can skip breakfast again,

Connor lays me down on the bed and curls around me.  
I start to cry and Evan shushes me gently.  
"It's okay Jared we're here please don't cry." He whispers and I bury my face in his chest.  
"I'm sorry." I whimper and Evan kisses me gently.  
"No no no Jare please don't be sorry." He says softly and Connor kisses the back of my neck and snuggles against my shoulder.

I'm sorry I'm so gross.

"I'm sorry," I say again and this time I don't let Evan stop me. "I'm sorry I'm sorry I'm sorry."  
"What are you sorry for?" Connor asks softly and I swallow hard to clear my throat.  
"Just let me be sorry,"  
"Why?" He asks again and I take his hand and squeeze it tight.  
"I'm gross and ugly and," fat.

Evan wraps his arms around my shoulders and tugs me in for a tight hug.   
"No Jared, you're not. You're really really not."  
"And, and clingy, and absolutely disgusting and I'm an asshole-"  
Connor lightly brushes his fingers through my hair and rocks me gently.  
"When you walk into a room, my whole world gets brighter." Connor says wistfully and I try to deny his compliments.  
"Without you, I'm a boy with two broken legs and no crutches. You hold me up and you never ask why."  
"Stop." I whimper and Connor kisses below my ear.  
"You're always there for me. Always. And I couldn't be more grateful," 

Evan wipes my tears away with his thumb.  
"You never think about yourself." He says quietly and I sniffle and wipe my nose on my sleeve.

You're disgusting,

"You're something else Jared. I can tell you care, and I can tell you're hurting deep down below the surface, but you never tell us." Evan hands me a small pack of tissues and helps me clean off my face.  
"You would hate me." I whisper into his shoulder and he shakes his head and they clutch onto me tighter.  
"Never." Connor says and I nod, pretending to agree.  
Evan angles my jaw toward him,  
"I." A kiss on the cheek. "Couldn't." A soft kiss on my forehead. "Hate you." One on the tip of my nose. "If I tried." Evan connects our lips and gently brushes my cheek with his thumb.  
When we disconnect I sigh softly and take his hand.  
"And I'm trying to believe you." I say and Connor rubs my shoulders gently.  
He pushes me down onto Evan's chest and rubs his thumbs down my shoulder blades.  
Connor's never done this for me before. He usually does for Evan after an attack or a day without his binder.

"Relax." Connor murmurs gently and I try to, only managing to tense up more.  
"Guess I'll have to help you, yeah?" He says beside my ear and I feel his fingers trail downward, gently kneading out the knots in my back.  
I slump against Evan and I feel Connor smile against my neck.  
"There you go. Shh baby,"  
I swallow hard and let Connor work.   
I feel like I'm crushing Evan and I wrap my arms around my stomach.  
"Jesus love, you're so tense. What's got you so wound up huh?"  
I groan as another part of my back loosens.  
"I dunno." I say softly and Connor kisses up my neck.  
"Hey is your neck not sensitive anymore?"  
I shrug and Connor nibbles where my neck and shoulder meet. It feels good but not overwhelming like before.  
I let out a moan and Connor kisses me again, returning to his gentle pace with his hands.  
His hands slide up, open palm, and then back down, rubbing in circles along the way.  
"Fuck." I whisper and Connor smiles.  
"Are you enjoying yourself now?"  
I nod and Evan gives me a small kiss on the forehead.

A back rub won't erase my problems, but it sure as hell helps me forget about them for a little bit.

"Now you're so pliable I could mistake you for rubber, do you feel better?" Connor asks as he digs his knuckles into a knot.

I nod and wrap my arms around Evan. I shudder when Connor squeezes my hips and then collapses on top of me.  
"Let's go out another day." Connor says softly and he tucks a blanket around us, me trying to kick it off because I'm too hot and Evan pulling it back up because he's too cold.  
Evan pets my hair and kisses me gently all over my face.  
"Shh," He murmurs soothingly and a few tears slip down my face.

I hadn't realized I'd been crying but Jesus, it's like the fourth time today.  
"I'm sorry," Evan says softly and hugs me harder.  
I hold onto his shirt and bury my face in his chest, trying not to throw up and/or cry more.  
Evan flips us over on our sides,  
"Oh baby," he whispers and rubs my back. Connor squeezes my waist and wraps his legs around mine.  
"It's okay. We're here it's gonna be okay," Evan whispers, and Connor kisses my shoulder and strokes my hair.  
"I'm sorry." Is all Connor says and I nod.  
"I know." I whimper and Evan kisses me again, trying to calm me down.  
"I wish things were different." Connor mumbles, "I wish your family realized how good they had it."

-  
Jared, 14 years old, hid benind his desk, praying that his cousin didn't see him.  
"Why are you hiding," He mused and Jared covered his mouth to quiet his sobs.  
He wanted it to stop,   
"What would your mom think if I told her you stopped hanging out with me huh?"  
Jared's blood goes cold and he gets up on shaky legs to greet Tyler.  
"There you are! Come here,"   
"No." Jared says, loud and clear, and Tyler pats the bed.  
"Come here. And be quiet this time,"  
-

"Jared honey what's wrong?" Evan asks in horror and I dig my nails into my arms hard, scratching until blood slips down my shoulders.  
"Jared, please stop," Connor whispers frantically and takes my hands away, holding them tightly despite the blood on them.  
"What's wrong? What happened?" Evan asks again and I swallow.  
"I don't want to talk about it."  
It feels like my throat is closed up, a lump stuck in the middle.  
"Please J," Connor begs, rubbing his cheek up against mine.  
"I really don't want to." I plead desperately and Evan cups my cheek, and looks me in the eyes.  
He scans my face and gives me a kiss on the forehead.  
"Okay." Evan says quietly. "Okay, you don't have to tell us. But you're safe Jared, you're safe." Evan kisses me for every word and if I could cry again, I would.

Connor hugs me tightly.  
"Who hurt you?" He whispers and I keep quiet, still deathly afraid of someone who can't attack me anymore.

What a fucking pathetic child, still scared that someone in the Philippines was going to come here just to attack you, you're not worth that much anyway.

I know that it's irrational. But the reason for my fear is justified.

"Who?" Connor demands, something wet drips down my back and I know it's either a sneeze or Connor's crying.  
"I don't remember."  
"Bull shit," Connor whispers and kisses my neck. He holds me tighter and Evan laces our fingers, bringing me closer to both of them.  
"Who did this to you? Of all people?"  
"I don't want to talk about it-"  
Connor's forehead drops between my shoulder blades, and his body shakes with sobs.  
"I'm sorry," He cries and the leg around my waist quivers, trying to pull me closer.  
"I'm sorry I couldn't protect you, I'm sorry, please don't leave me. I tried so hard please please please Jared stay," Connor begs and I turn and kiss him to stop his rambling. I put our foreheads together and then I stare at him.  
"I'll never leave you…… I love you Connor. Thank you for being here for me. I'm sorry that I dragged you both into this mess," I say and Evan gives me a kiss.  
"I'm glad you dragged us."  
Connor sighs and hugs me tight, forcing me to return the embrace and snuggle into his shoulder. Evan kisses my neck and I back up into his chest.

"I'm so sorry," Evan whispers and I shrug.  
"I'm really really sorry." Evan says firmly and I nod.  
"I know." I say and Connor kisses me again.  
"I'm sorry." Connor mumbles and I sigh, getting tired of the apologies.

Evan orders Panda Express and Connor goes to get it, leaving me with Evan and a big blanket on the couch.  
Not the worst place to be.  
Evan doesn't ask, just leans in to kiss me and treats me like glass.

When we're sitting on the couch, I eat slowly, mostly pushing the food around in my box.  
I take a deep breath, and decide to just say it. Quietly.  
"He raped me." 

Apparently it wasn't quiet enough and Connor drops his to go box, getting food all over the floor.

Evan turns to me with a horrified mix of pain and fear.  
"What?" Evan asks quietly and Connor grips his fork hard enough to bruise.  
"What?" I ask uncomfortably and Evan takes my hands and squeezes them.  
"What did you say?" Evan says quietly and Connor turns around as well with pure rage and sadness swirling in his eyes.  
"Who." He demands darkly and I swallow,  
"Who what?"  
"Jared," Evan begs and I rub my eyes and pull my knees into my chest.  
"I was fourteen." I say softly and try not to think about it in depth.

The roaming hands, his fucked up whispers, the rope chafing my wrists,

I whimper and bury my face in my knees.  
"I didn't want it," I cry and Connor cups my cheek and leans in to kiss my forehead and cheekbone.  
"I didn't. I didn't want him to do that I said no I promise."   
Evan takes my hands and nods.  
"I know honey. I believe you," He says softly but his voice is so broken and I'm sure Evan is going to think about this for a while.  
"I'm sorry I didn't tell anyone," I sniffle and Evan nods.

-  
Suddenly, everything Jared is saying starts to make too much sense.   
His hesitance to even touch us when we started dating.   
His nervousness during our first time, his eyes kept glancing at the door.   
The fact that he appreciated being 'protected'   
How quiet he was, uncomfortable when we asked him to make noise for us.  
When Connor tried to bite the back of his neck, He made a little choked noise.   
Like assholes we assumed it was because he'd never done anything before.

It was because he was scared.  
-

"Jared," Connor whispers and hugs me tightly. "I don't know what to say other then I'm gonna to find him and fucking kill him."

Connor drops his head against my neck again, and kisses gently.  
"I don't know why someone would hurt you like that." Connor murmurs and I nod vacantly.  
Evan takes my hands and kisses each knuckle, and I squirm uncomfortably because I don't like my hands.

They're chubby and short and gross just like the rest of me.  
Evan still kisses me gently, like I'm something meant to be treasured and Connor wraps his legs around mine, whispering soft comforting things.  
"I'm so sorry," He says and I nod, I'm sorry too.  
"We love you," Evan reminds me and I know, of course they weren't going to be disappointed.

Are they?  
disappointed in me?

"Are you guys mad at me?" I ask and Connor shoots up whispering soft 'no's and Evan starts rambling.  
"No Jared why would we be mad? Did you think we'd be upset because someone violated you?" Evan asks and I nod.   
Evan goes pale and Connor whimpers, rubbing at his eyes.  
"Never J, I'll never be mad at you for this," 

I swallow the lump in my throat.  
"Even if I didn't scream or call for help?" I ask quietly and Evan kisses my eyelids and cheekbones.  
"We wouldn't be mad at you. We're mad at the abusive asshole," Evan says and I nod, trying not to cry again because my face fucking hurts and I'm exhausted,

I get up to get my phone after a few minutes and call Michael.

If you could tell Evan and Connor, you can tell him.

Mikey answers immediately,  
"Yello?" He calls happily and I breathe in.  
"Hey Mike,"   
"What's up Jare?" He responds immediately, and I shift in my seat.  
"I didn't run away for no reason."   
Something shuffles and the Michael laughs.  
"I just nodded. I'm so fucking dumb, Jesus."  
"Michael... You remember our cousin Tyler?" I ask and Michael hums, clicking can be heard in the background, and I breath in deeply and audibly.  
"Michael. This is important."   
Another click and then Michael drops something. I pick at the comforter and Connor takes my free hand. Evan kisses my cheek and I bring the phone up to my ear.

"He hurt me." I say and try not to get choked up.  
"Oooookkaaaaayyy?" Michael says.  
"Like how? Did you guys get into a fight?"   
"Michael he fucking raped me when we were fourteen!" I scream and Connor squeezes my hand.

Michael coughs and then I can hear him throwing up.  
"He fucking what?"   
"I don't want to say it again..."   
Michael is quiet.  
"Is this some kind of weird elaborate joke-"

I hang up and flop backwards on the bed, dragging Evan and Connor down with me.  
"I love you." I say and Evan kisses my ear.  
"Love you too." He returns sweetly and Connor laces our fingers,  
"I love you both more than I could measure." He says, and Evan chuckles.  
"Nerd,"

My phone starts ringing and I kick it off the bed, covering my ears and trying not to think too hard about it.  
Connor turns my phone off and I lay there in the middle of the bed, unsure what to do with myself.  
"What do you want to do?" Evan asks and I shrug.  
"I just wanna... Lay here for a while." I say and Evan kisses my cheek and sighs.  
"Okay Jare, we can do that."  
Connor and Evan are so warm around me and I snuggle down between them.  
"Stop squirming!" Connor laughs.

-  
"Stop squirming," Tyler whispers in Jared's ear as he pushes in forcefully.  
"No!" Jared gasps and Tyler's hands trail up and down Jared's sides, chest, and hips.  
"You could really stand to lose a few," Tyler says in that sickening voice as he squeezes at Jared's stomach.  
"If you don't like it, don't fuck it," Jared growls and Tyler smirks.  
"Aw you're cute. I'm gonna fuck you whether you look disgusting or not."   
He leans down and bites Jared's ear lobe.  
"That's what makes this so fun,"  
-

"Jared, Jared, Jared," Evan says cupping both of my cheeks and I let myself fall into him.  
"Hey hey, you're okay." Evan whispers and Connor sighs.  
"I'm going to take your hand now," He says and Jared nods.  
Connor leans down and laces their fingers and then hovers over his neck.  
"I'm going to give you a small kiss. Nothing more, nothing less okay?" 

I feel a lot safer that Connor's doing this. Getting touched randomly from behind sounds like a nightmare.  
It'd feel like I was still there.

He waits until I verbally confirm it and then Connor presses his lips gently against my neck and pulls away.  
Nothing more, nothing less. Just like he promised.  
"Tyler never kissed me." I say and Connor's hand trails up my back and rubs my shoulder gently.  
"I'm glad he didn't." Evan says and I look up in confusion. What a weird thing to say, He raped me but Evan's glad the one thing he didn't do was kiss me?  
"You said kissing was your favorite. I wouldn't want that ruined for you too," Evan says softly and I nod. That's true.  
Kissing my boys is my favorite.

"Can I wrap my arms around your waist?" Connor asks and I nod, taking them and placing them around my stomach, ignoring the screaming voices in my head.  
"Can I kiss you again?" Evan asks and I lean in to press our lips together.  
"Always," I murmur and Evan kisses back sweetly, occasionally pulling away to readjust.  
"Jare," Evan whispers and slides his hands down my sides.  
"You're so beautiful," Connor murmurs in my ear and I squeeze his biceps around me.  
"If I'm beautiful then you were crafted by the gods, and Evan is a fallen star,"   
Evan laughs fondly and Connor buries his face in my neck.  
"Thank you Jare but you're the prettiest," Evan says and Connor nods.  
"Yeah. J is the prettiest boy." Connor kisses the back of my neck again, and I snuggle in their arms.

Maybe I'll just take a little nap,

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Let me know if you want more chapters like this, and leave a comment if I left anything out in the warnings


	15. Good things never last forever

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> I am,,,, so sorry
> 
> TWs:  
> Uh almost breaking up  
> Suicide attempt  
> Do not try any of this I'm serious I love you :(  
> Cutting  
> Rape Mentions (like its implied through Jared's behavior)  
> Panic attack (minor)  
> Hospitals  
> Eating disorder making another appearance in this fic

Connor was alone.

Jared was off limits.

And Evan was slowly spiraling.

Thanksgiving came and went, and everything turned out okay-ish at the Murphy's. Other than the effects it had on Connor, it went fine.

Jared was restless.  
Evan and Connor stopped holding him at night. To be fair, they're both struggling, but Jared can't help but feel like an outsider to their relationship again.  
He stops talking.

Meanwhile Connor was shutting down. No pet names. No affection. He stops touching Evan and Jared, it hurts too much.   
Connor starts to cut again and his boyfriends don't notice. He comes to the conclusion that they stop caring.

He throws his meds out. If Connor's honest, he doesn't know why. He just does. In plain view of Jared. And Jared says nothing.

Evan starts to cry at night again.  
He used to sneak off to the bathroom and sob into the bath mat until Connor got him to stop. Until Connor made him happy.  
Connor and Jared don't make him happy anymore.  
Connor is being mean again, throwing things of Evan's away for no reason, putting his music on at full blast, sleeping in the guest room...  
The list goes on.  
Jared stops talking and joking. When he used to relieve tension all Evan gets is silence and he can't help but feel like Jared is scared of him.

When he tries to reassure him, Jared locks himself in their room and Evan had to beg for hours for him to open the door.

They were sitting at the table when Connor cracked.  
"I'm done." Connor said harshly beneath his breath. "I need a break."  
Jared stops eating and tears up, pushing his food away, and running to the bathroom.  
Connor's eyes flash with guilt and anger.  
"This is all your fault," He says to his remaining boyfriend and Evan drops his fork. Evan wasn't hungry anyway.  
"So you're blaming me now?! For upsetting Jared?" Evan yells and Connor gets up, the chair screeching.  
"It's not my fault you've made it impossible to approach you!" He yells back and Evan balls his fists.  
"Me being unapproachable?!? What about you?!"   
"WHAT ABOUT ME EVAN!" He gets in Evan's face and grabs the collar of his shirt.

And Evan remembers.

He can walk away.

He shoves Connor off of him and grabs his keys.  
"Where the fuck do you think you're going?!?" Connor shouts after him.  
Evan opens the bathroom with his debit card and picks up a shivering Jared and carries him out.  
"Quarantine. I hope you're happy." Evan says and Connor goes pale.

Evan and Jared drive away, Evan doesn't even count the miles, and they end up at a motel six.  
"Stay here." Evan murmurs against Jared's hair with a soft kiss, and then he gets up to book a room.  
The receptionist gets pissed that it's not pre booked, but Evan eventually melts, telling her about Connor and how he blew up at him today.

He hadn't even meant to gain her pity.

She gives him a room key.

Evan nudges Jared awake gently and carries him to their room, tucking him into bed and trying to pretend he doesn't hear Jared's soft sobs for Connor when they're cuddling.  
"Shhh." He mumbles into Jared's hair and his boyfriend sobs louder.  
Evan rocks him back and forth and Jared looks up at him with watery eyes.  
"Are we breaking up? What did I do wrong Evan? Does he hate me?" Jared asks brokenly and Evan shakes his head and wipes Jared's eyes.  
"No Jared, no we're not breaking up okay? And it's not your fault... He just needs some space right now."

Connor did not need space.  
His 'quarantine' was the opposite of what he needed.  
Granted, it's what he was doing voluntarily before, but Evan had shocked him out of his 'mood', if only for a moment.

He didn't know why he got so angry. He just... Woke up and felt 'bad.'  
He didn't mean to scream at Evan. He didn't mean to neglect them.   
He didn't want, he never wants, Jared to cry. That's far down on his list.   
And Connor had been the cause of it.  
Connor stopped cutting, only because he ran out of space, and started smoking again.  
Evan made him stop, but Evan wasn't here right now.  
Connor didn't go to his classes. He called in sick for work. He sat down on the floor of their room, cried, cuddled Evan and Jared's pillows, and ate dry cereal and bread.  
Connor wasn't a fucking monster, it hurt him too. But Evan and Jared get to decide how long he should be left alone. That was not his decision.

He owes them that much.

Evan and Jared woke up in the motel room, they've been gone about six days, and Jared was shivering, cuddling close to Evan to conserve heat.  
"Good morning." Evan said despite the fact that nothing was good.

"How long do we stay here?" Jared asks while they're- while Evan's eating breakfast.  
"Until Connor calls us." Evan replies tiredly and Jared nods.

Okay Google, How much Iron does it take to kill a full grown man?

Connor laid back on the bed. He felt bad... Using Evan's iron pills to kill himself. But Evan would be happier overall, so... He guessed Ev would get over it soon.

Connor screwed open the cap and looked down at the little circular white pills.  
Only 25 would kill him.

Connor laid there in silence. Does he really want to go out like this? The pills shake in the bottle, confirming it. 

He picked up the phone.

Jared's phone started to ring and he stared at the caller ID, Connor's face smiling back at him.  
"Hello?" Jared asks.  
"Please come back." Connor begs with a rough broken voice and Evan sighs, getting up and cleaning the room.  
"Please I can't,"  
Something rattles and Evan and Jared go very still.  
"Connor..." Jared says quietly, "Put the pills back."

The cap snaps and Evan jumps up.  
"Connor close the bottle. Put them away," Evan bites out and Connor sobs.  
"Why?" He murmurs and Jared squeezes the phone in his hands.  
"Because we love you." Jared says and Connor whimpers. Another shake and Jared imagines Connor readying to dip the pills down his throat.  
"No no no Connor stop now. Stop or we won't come back." Evan bargains hurriedly and Jared hears something hit the floor.  
"What difference does it make? Either way you won't be here." Connor laughs bitterly.  
"If you put them down we'll come home right now." Jared says and Connor goes quiet.

"Okay? We'll come home. Just put the pills back, we'll take care of you." Jared whispers into the phone and Connor hiccups.  
"O-okay," He says in relief and Jared nods to himself.  
"Put them back." Evan demands, still shaking in fear and guilt.  
"I will, I will, I promise," Connor's voice is choked with little sobs.

Jared gently tells him he's going to hang up and that they're on their way.  
Evan collapses to the floor and curls up on his side, hugging his knees and rocking slightly.  
"Evan baby we have to go." Jared whispers softly and Evan shakes his head, rubbing his eyes.  
Jared sits down next to him on the floor and tugs him into his chest, petting down his hair and rubbing his back.

The shock and adrenaline of the situation was over. And now Evan gets to panic.  
Tears slip down his face as he shivers and rocks and Jared kisses them away.  
"I'm sorry I'm sorry how long has it been since you took your meds?" Jared asks and wipes at Evan's flushed cheeks with his thumbs.  
"A c-co-couple we-weeks I th-thin-k."   
Jared helps calm him down, gently rubbing his back until he can breathe somewhat easier and then he gives Evan his jacket and his phone. Jared bundles him up tightly and gives Evan some earbuds clicking on his favorite playlist.  
Jared checks them out and they start heading home, Evan falling asleep and curling up against the window.

Maybe they weren't coming.  
Connor waits by the window and his stomach twists in fear that they lied.  
Maybe he should do it anyway.  
They weren't coming they didn't care Connor was convinced.  
Connor grabbed some NyQuil and the Iron pills again, feeling only slightly guilty that if one of them got sick they wouldn't have the medicine.

But they'd be rid of you.  
You wouldn't be hurting them anymore.

Connor twists open both caps and contemplates where would be best to choke and die.  
He chose the downstairs bathroom and makes himself comfortable on the tiled floor.  
Connor has half the bottle and all the pills down his throat when the front door opens.  
"Connor where are you?" Jared calls into the house and Connor weakly throws the still open bottle at the door, letting them know he's there. NyQuil spills across the floor and Connor hopes they don't slip on it.

They came they actually came for him. He starts to feel drowsy. No no no stay awake they're almost here stay awake.  
Evan opens the door and drops to Connor's side.  
"Fuck fuck Connor you fucking ass why would you do that?!? JARED CALL 911 NOW!" Evan screams and Jared grabs the home phone and Connor can hear the beeping noises.

He starts to feel himself black out and his stomach twists again.  
"No no no fuck Connor," Evan cries and keeps him upright. "Why would you do this to us?"   
Connor is about to respond before he throws up across Evan and his lap.  
Evan is too panicked and heartbroken to care.  
Jared comes in and listens to the operators instructions.  
He shakily tells them their address and cups Connor's cheek.  
"Stay with us please," Jared begs and Connor weakly grabs at his hand.  
"I'll fucking kill you if you die," Evan yells and Connor nods trying not to black out.  
Another wave of nausea and Connor's lap is covered in vomit.  
Jared steadies him before he collapses.  
"I love you, I love you Connor please don't fucking leave me I love you so much." Jared begs and pulls Connor's hair out of his face.  
"Love you too." Connor murmurs and Evan laces their fingers.  
"E-Even though you've been horrible to me, and decided killing yourself was a good idea, I really love you Connor, you keep me whole. You're still a dick but I do."

Connor nods and his eyelids drop causing Evan and Jared to shout.  
"No no Connor stay awake for us please-"  
"Connor please please don't close your eyes they're so close any minute now-"

Evan and Jared watch their pale skinny boyfriend get lifted onto the stretcher and secured in the van.  
"Are you his family?" One of the nurses ask them.  
"Boyfriends." Evan says quietly, still trying not to shake.  
"Well then what are you standing around for get in the fucking ambulance!" 

There's not enough room but they make it work, anxiously holding Connor's hands and whispering soft things to him when he tries to close his eyes.

Evan doesn't look when they're pumping Connor's stomach, too terrified for him to look away but too terrified of surgery to watch it happening. Technically it's not surgery but still.  
"Connor don't fight it," Jared begs. "Swallow the tube Connor please."  
Evan hears a horrible choking noise and then Jared sighs in relief.

A nurse shoos them out into the waiting room and they sit down as close as they can to the door.  
An ugly blanket of silence covers them and Jared grabs Evan's hand, not trusting his voice.  
Evan squeezes it and wraps his other arm around his knees, pulling them up to his chest on the seat.

"He'll be okay." Evan tells himself quietly. "He'll be okay."

Jared doesn't sleep. Evan is so exhausted that he passes out, and Jared just gently brushes his fingers through his hair.  
He feels sick to his stomach.

Connor probably feels worse though,

Jared lets out a small bitter laugh. It's his fault Connor did this. He didn't do anything to stop him, he didn't call to make sure he was okay, he saw Connor getting worse and he didn't say anything.

Evan mumbles something soft in his sleep and Jared sighs, leaning down to kiss him on the forehead.

He'd been forcing Evan to protect them. Connor was too far gone and Evan's been taking care of both of them and Jared feels so so fucking guilty.  
He wasn't too bad, sure Jared didn't feel.... Good but he didn't have to make his boyfriend with severe GAD take care of a depressed person with BPD and someone who's insecurities out weigh his actual personality.

Jared feels Evan twitch and he gives him another kiss. He hoped to God Connor would be okay.  
Jared's not religious but right now he's mentally praying to someone.

"Connor Murphy?" A nurse calls and Evan and Jared leap up.  
They follow him down the hallway back to Connor's hospital room.  
Connor was barely a person at this point, mostly bones and his cheek bones we so sunken, even asleep his eye bags make him look stressed out and somewhat dead looking.  
But there was a heartbeat

Jared watched his chest rise, he was breathing.  
"He's mostly stable, but he's still recovering so be... Careful." The doctor says awkwardly and Evan takes Connor's hand, suppressing a shiver at how cold and bony it is.  
Evan squeezes, gently rubbing the knuckles with his thumb and Jared keeps his hands to himself.

Connor's body is like glass, and Jared's afraid he'll break it.


	16. Good things never last forever Pt. 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> They're,,, recovering
> 
> 12/9/17 Um also I might do shorter chapters like this because Finals are coming up and I'm not doin so good,,

Jared gently runs a hand over his ribs and sighs at how he can feel every bone. Connor was in bad shape.  
'Stable' they keep saying. But stable isn't good.  
He's still struggling and he still hasn't woken up.  
But his heartbeat is okay and his breathing never falters. 

It's days before Connor opens his eyes, and Evan immediately grabs him and kisses his forehead.  
"Oh my god Connor," Evan cries and Connor stares back with a blank look on his face.  
He cups his cheek.  
Jared reaches forward and take his hand and he squeezes weakly.  
"Connor," Jared murmurs softly and Connor clears his throat.

"C-could you guys give me a minute?" He asks with a rough scratchy voice and Evan rubs his cheek with his thumb.  
"Alright. Call u-us wh-when you're ready I guess... Y-you don't have to-"  
Jared puts his hand on his shoulder to calm Evan down.  
"I- yeah just um-"  
They sit back outside and wait.

-  
Connor's physical therapy doesn't take long, and soon he's off suicide watch and allowed to go home.  
Evan and Jared sit him down on the couch like normal, where all their problems are talked through.  
Connor takes a few minutes before he can explain why.

"Y-y'know on Thanksgiving when my mom and dad kept talking about Zoe? About her uh, her major and scholarship and stuff... This is stupid..."  
Evan takes his hand,  
"No it's not stupid Connor you're okay."  
He takes another minute.  
"I felt like they forgot about me and it was too hard to talk to you guys and you just..."

He takes a break to wipe his eyes and Evan tugs him into a hug, gently rubbing his back with his thumb until he stops crying.  
Evan hates the sound. He never forgets when his boyfriends shatter, and when they do his chest aches. These are the sounds that keep him awake at night.  
"I know you both have stuff, I just felt like you forgot about me too, and I was so so alone and tired and I'm sorry. I drove you away again and got rid of my meds... I don't want to be like this." Connor murmurs and Jared scoots closer, comforting his boyfriend from behind.  
"I don't want to hurt you." Connor says quietly and Evan shushes him.  
"I know you don't."  
Connor starts to cry again in short little bursts and Jared kisses his wet cheeks and pets his hair.  
"It's okay Con you're safe, we're not going anywhere okay?" Jared promises and Connor nods, wrapping his bony arms around Evan's back and squeezing tightly.

Connor falls asleep an hour later and Evan grabs a blanket off the couch and wraps Connor up.  
Jared looks up and tries to kiss Evan lightly on the cheek, he misses and instead plants it on his jaw/neck.  
"He's so skinny." Evan whispers and Jared nods, he can feel it.  
"He'll be okay." Jared says quietly and Evan smiles weakly.  
"I know. This time, th-this time, we're going t-to b-be better." Evan promises.  
"Evan it was my fault not yours," Jared admits and Evan's eyebrows furrow.  
"What do you mean?"

Get ready to lose them Jared.

"I saw him. He was throwing them away I saw it. I didn't tell you and I don't have an excuse, it's my fault." Jared rubs at his eyes and holds Connor tight, thinking it's gonna be the last time he gets to.  
"You saw him?" Evan says softly and Jared nods.  
"It's okay Jared you weren't, you weren't in the best shape either." Evan cups his cheek and gives him a kiss.  
"Ju-just 'cause I was raped seven years ago doesn't mean-"

"Jared you were violated. Sexually assaulted. You're allowed to be traumatized." Evan takes his hand.  
"It's been seven years Evan!" Jared says a bit too loudly and Evan presses their lips together.  
"Most people don't get over it at all." Evan says when they break apart.  
"I'm not most people." 

"Come here." Evan holds out his arms.  
Jared comes closer and Evan bundles both Connor and Jared in the blanket.  
Jared grabs another and throws it around Evan, the blonde taking it gratefully and snuggling into Connor.

It is winter after all.


	17. Recovery...?

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Evan promises, Jared is neglecting himself, and Connor’s trying really hard to get better.
> 
> !!!Return to first person!!!

Connor still hadn't recovered fully.  
It's December now and he still hasn't gained any weight since his attempt.  
Jared keeps force feeding him and Evan finds it hilariously adorable because Connor gets this little frown and it usually ends with one tackling the other.

"Hey Connor do you want to try this?" Jared points to his bowl of soup and Connor blinks, looking up from his book.  
"It's tomato soup J I've had it before,"  
"No no but seriously Con, have some."  
Connor sighs and sets the book down flat on the table and scoots closer to Jared.  
Jared sticks his tongue out from between his teeth, a habit.  
"Close your eyes and open your mouth."  
"You're not gonna force your dick down my throat are you?" Connor asks jokingly and Jared's smile drops.  
Connor tries to backpedal.  
Jared swallows and smiles again weakly.  
"Nah babe consent is sexy, just do it."  
Connor does with an annoyed grunt and Jared sticks the spoon into his mouth.  
Connor takes it and pulls it back out after swallowing.  
Okay fine that was fucking delicious.  
Jared must have noticed because he smiles widely and flaps his hands a couple times.  
"I told you! It's really good!"  
Connor blushes and awkwardly tries to motion for more and Jared smirks.  
He runs to the kitchen and comes back with a bowl and Connor eats it slowly.  
He can still taste the pills at the back of his throat.

Jared smiles at him, showing off the gap between his teeth and heat travels down Connor's spine.  
He sets down his spoon and grabs Jared's cheeks with his hands and kisses him gently on the lips.  
"Thank you J Bear." He whispers after they disconnect and Jared's entire face goes red.  
"God you're so fucking cute!" Jared whines and wraps his arms around his shoulders, burying his face in Connor's chest.  
"You make me a sap I can't help it." Connor replies and Jared leans up to kiss at Connor's jaw.  
Connor laughs quietly and leans down to help him.  
"I fucking love you," Jared murmurs against his skin and Connor scratches behind Jared's ear, who shivers at the treatment.  
"I love you too J." Connor says with a smile and Jared wiggles into his lap.  
"Really?" He asks quietly and Connor's heart sinks to his stomach.  
He takes Jared's hand and kisses it, and squeezes, rubbing his knuckles in what he hopes is a soothing gesture.  
"Of course I do," He says with a soft kiss to Jared's cheek. "Did you think I didn't?" It's not accusatory, just a question, but it makes Jared shrink.

Jared shrugs and pulls at his shirt.  
"A little." He admits and Connor pulls him in, rubbing his back.  
His throat closes up and he hears Jared shuddering for breath.  
"I love you." Connor says softly and Jared grabs at the back of Connor's shirt, like he's slipping and needs to hold on tight.  
"I love you Jared. I'm sorry you thought the opposite," 

Jared and Connor stay snuggled up together until Evan comes home from work.  
Jared looks up with a tear streaked face and Evan drops his bag.  
"W-what happened?" He asks and cups Jared's cheek, swiping his thumb over the dry tears.  
"Feelings happened." Connor mumbles into Jared's neck and Jared nods, snuggling closer to his boyfriend.  
"Join us?" Jared suggests quietly and Evan nods, taking off his bandana and hat.  
He doesn't bother to unlace his boots and situates himself behind Jared.  
He sees that Connor has red eyes and cheeks too and he kisses the top of Connor's head.  
Jared leans back into Evan's chest and Evan places his hands on Jared's waist.  
"What happened?"

"We told you, feelings." Jared mumbles and Evan takes that as Jared and Connor not wanting to explain. Either that or they're too tired to.  
Evan lets them get away with it and pets down Connor's hair. He still looked like he was on deaths door... Evan felt bad.  
Connor had tried to... Get intimate with him earlier this week and Evan weaseled out of it with a work excuse. He loves Connor, and hell yeah he's attractive to him but Evan fears that he might freak out having sex so soon.

Touching his skin and feeling every bone against him... Evan doesn't think he'll be able to handle it.  
But on the other hand, Evan hasn't had sex in months, if he doesn't soon he's gonna need a tarp beneath him when he has an orgasm.

Evan gently slides his hands down Jared’s sides and he shivers.  
Connor looks up with a soft confused noise and Evan leans in to kiss his sleepy boyfriend.  
Connor full on moans into the kiss and laces his fingers through Evan's hair to tug him closer.  
Evan gently cups his cheeks and Connor whimpers.  
"Baby you're crushing me." Jared laughs and Connor shivers.  
"Evan I haven't been touched in months please,"  
Well that's a bit melodramatic...  
Jared kisses his forehead and pulls him closer on his lap.  
Connor is fully shivering now and Jared lightly rubs at his thighs.  
“God fuck I’m so fucking... crazy I dunno. I’ve been feeling a little touch starved lately...” Connor murmurs and Evan bites his lip and slides a hand up Connor’s back.  
“Nh Ev, Jare,” Connor starts to make unintelligible moaning noises and Jared leans forward to palm his dick. Connor grabs his wrist.  
“J baby I love you but that’s a bit too much.” Connor kisses the back of his hand and shuffles closer to Jared.  
“I’m sorry Connor, did I make you uncomfortable?” Jared asks hurriedly and cups Connor’s cheek, checking for anything that could have caused him discomfort.  
“No it’s just too much right now... I’m so, sensitive all over.” Connor shudders again and Evan fluffs his hair up.  
“Hey Jared, would you rather celebrate Chanukah or Christmas?” Evan asks while Connor’s preoccupied and Jared snorts.  
“Chanukah all the way bitch.”  
“There Connor it’s two against one, we’re not doing Jesus holiday this year.”  
Connor groans and pinches Evan’s side lightly.  
“Fuck you, you got me in my moment of weakness,”

Evan kisses Connor’s forehead and Jared does something that makes the long haired boy frown. “Don’t bite my ear weirdo,” Connor comments and Jared licks his neck.  
“You’re more weird.” Jared responds and Connor sighs, sliding his hand up and down Jared’s back.  
Jared smiles and melts in Connor’s arms.  
“You tamed him Baby, congrats.” Evan says and Connor snickers. Jared tries to get up and protest but Connor kisses him and his words die in his throat.

[POV EVAN]

Connor and Jared fall asleep after a few minutes and I tuck some blankets around them, carefully detaching myself and slowly getting off the couch.  
Once I’m free I untie my boots and throw them off, narrowly avoiding the closet.  
Connor mumbles something quietly and Jared inches closer to him, shuffling over on the cushion.  
I flop down across Jared’s back and he leans his head onto my shoulder.  
I run my fingers over Connor’s ribs and across the angry red lines on Jared’s arms.  
“This won’t happen again.” I promise quietly and idly scratch at the cuts beneath my chest. “We’re going to be better this time.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I have,, lost all motivation and inspiration for this fic if I’m being honest


	18. UPDATE

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> @mina  
> I’m taking a break ;)

Hello I’m really fucking tired and stressed out. Also this is /not dead/ I will return to it eventually. I’m gonna take a break and when I’m inspired/motivated again I’ll come back, 


	19. HEYHEYHEY

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> GUESS WHO GOT A’S ON ALL HIS FINALS?!?

I was watching a video with little kittens stumbling over one another and mewing and I decided I wanted a cat.  
No I need a cat.  
A fluffy one. That meows a lot.  
“Evannnn! Connor!” I call downstairs.  
“What?” Evan’s voice is muffled and I follow the sound to the bathroom.  
I waltz in while Evan’s in the shower and my boyfriend squeaks, covering himself with his arms.  
“Jared!”  
“I want a cat!” I say trying to hold in my excitement and Evan sighs, looking conflicted.  
“Can we talk about this after my shower?” He asks and I nod exiting the room.  
I bump into Connor and he stumbles back just in time, catching him and I before we fall.  
“What’s up?” Connor asks and I try not to bounce on my heels or flap my hands. That would be embarrassing.  
“Come here.” I say and take his hand, dragging him back to the room.

I pick up my forgotten phone and reload the video.  
Connor shuffles next to me and I turn my phone sideways.

The three kittens start mewing and the grey one pounces on the calico.  
“S-so?” Connor asks and clears his throat after the video ends.  
“I want a cat.” I say and Connor flushes darkly.  
“Why?” He asks uncomfortably and I point to my phone again.  
“Did we watch the same video?” I say and Connor mumbles something beneath his breath.  
“I think you just don’t like cats.” I say to him and Connor stiffens.  
He doesn’t say anything more and darts out of the room.  
What’s wrong with him?

Evan comes in with a towel around his shoulders and furrows his brows at me.  
“Why are you sitting on the floor?” Evan asks and shakes his head, getting water everywhere.  
“Connor just ran out like I had the plague.” I say with a pout and Evan inhaled sharply.  
“You didn’t talk to him about the cat did you?” He asks and I nod.  
Evan carefully sits down next to me with a sigh.  
“Well shit.” Evan says and I turn to him.  
“What?” I ask and Evan continues to dry his hair.  
“Connor used to have a cat in high school,” Evan starts and I already know how this is gonna go. “And she used to follow him everywhere and sleep on his chest... he loved her so much. And somewhere around Junior year... she had a stroke.”   
My chest gets tight and it feels like there’s a lump in my throat.  
“They didn’t have as much money as they do now, so they had to put her down. Connor cried for weeks.”  
I get up on unsteady feet and Evan tries to grab at me.  
“Where are you going?” He asks and I make my way to the door.  
“I have to apologize to him, holy fuck Ev.” I say and run a hand through my hair.

Connor’s curled up on the couch, he has a couple blankets around his shoulders, and he’s zoning out. I grab his cheeks and turn his face toward me.  
His cheeks and nose are red and his eyes are watery.  
“I’m so sorry baby I didn’t know, I shouldn’t have said anything.” I apologize and kiss his eyelids with he shuts them. Thin streams of tears spill from his eyes and I try to kiss them away.  
“I’m sorry I’m sorry Con,” I repeat myself and keep kissing him until Connor calms down.  
“I’m sorry... I know it’s been years, but I still miss her sometimes.” Connor says quietly and I sit down next to him.

Evan comes in with a blue Star Wars sweater and shorts on and he smiles weakly.  
“Are you okay?” Evan asks Connor softly and Connor nods, leaning into Evan’s chest.  
He grabs Evan and buries his face into his neck.  
“Yeah.” Connor murmurs and I lean in to kiss his cheek, pulling his hair out of the way and trailing a line of kisses down his neck and shoulder.  
“I’m sorry.” I say again and Connor kisses my forehead.  
“It’s okay... you didn’t know. It’s my fault for not telling you.” Connor says and I assume it’s the end of the conversation.

Until a couple days later.

We’re on a date, well more like a walk around the city, and Connor suddenly stops short in front of a store window.  
“Evan. Jared.” Connor says with sparkling eyes.   
He points to a little long haired kitten with black and white fur, laying on its back and staring up at Connor.  
It meows when Connor looks away from it to look back at us.  
“Oh my god you want a cat now.” Evan says in shock and Connor flushes again.  
“IknowI’msorryitwasstupidlet’sjustgo-“ he says hurriedly and Evan takes his hand.  
“Wait wait wait it’s not a bad thing honey,”

Evan sighs, breathing in deep.  
“Okay. We’ll raise some money, buy some cat stuff, and if that one is still there when we come back, we’re getting it, Okay?”  
Connor takes Evan’s cheeks and kisses him, missing by a couple inches and getting spit on Evan’s cheek.  
“Have I mentioned how much I love you?” Connor asks and Evan rolls his eyes, rubbing the saliva off his face.  
“You can tell me after you brush your teeth babe.”

So I start taking double shifts, Evan asks for a raise (which they give him without hesitation) and Connor gets a second job.  
It takes about a week to get the funds necessary for a cat, but then we’re at Petco buying a litter box, a collar, a cat carrier, a bed, food, and a scratching post.   
Then we go back to the shop.  
Connor notices the empty cage and I can see his mood 180. He seems to deflate and Evan gently pats his shoulder.  
“Sorry Con.” He says and Connor huffs.  
A loud meow echoes through the store and I follow the sound.  
There’s a calico cat that doesn’t seem to move too well in the back, but it tries it’s hardest to jump up for us.  
“Connor.” I say and he follows my eyes.  
“Evan oh my god.” He says with excitement and Evan follows us into the back with a grin.  
On closer look, her back leg is stiff and she seems to be drooling a little bit.  
Evan goes off to talk to the store owner, and leaves us with the pretty calico.  
“Hi.” Connor says sweetly and the kitten looks up with a short mew.  
“Jared she’s so small.” Connor says in awe and I nod.  
She comes a little closer to the glass and rubs her ear against it. Evan comes back with a slightly guilty look.  
“This is the one huh?” Evan asks and Connor nods. “Alright.” Evan says and the employee takes her carefully out of the cage.  
I catch something on the sticker.

Sex: Female  
Allergies: None  
Breed: American Shorthair  
Other: CH

What does CH mean?  
Connor sits down with the form and starts to fill it out, and I take the time to investigate.  
I find the cashier and smile in what I hope is a charming way.  
“Hi.” I say and the man blushes lightly.  
“What can I do for you today?” He asks politely.  
“Well I noticed something on a sticker, on one of the cages? It said CH do you know what that means?” I say this slowly and clearly, and then I lean on the table on my elbows.  
His blush deepens.  
“It means Cerebellar Hypoplasia. It affects their motor skills and makes it difficult for the animal to walk or move at all at times...” He says quietly and I bite my lip.  
“Is this something that goes away or?”   
“No no, but it is non progressive so it won’t... get worse or anything.”

Connor grabs the back of my collar and tugs me away from the cashier, giving me a kiss on the neck and glaring at the man.  
“What were you up to?” He asks as we make our way over to Evan.  
“Getting some info.”  
The sales woman is explaining something to Evan and he nods every time she stresses something.  
Evan hands the carrier to Connor once we’re by his side.  
“What was she talking to you about?” I ask and Evan blushes.  
“So... this isn’t a bad thing, but the cat we just bought may have mental problems and Uh... she won’t be able to move too well.” Evan says and Connor snorts.  
“She’ll fit right in.”

We have most of the stuff set up, so the only problem was potty training her and getting her claw caps.  
She really likes to bite Connor...  
Like same. He’s so bitable.  
Also we haven’t picked out any names.

Connor really likes the name Puddin’.  
Evan wants to name her something tree related,  
And I wanted to name her Bread.

We get our answer when Alana and Zoe come over to watch a movie and she jumps up to claw at Alana’s arm.  
“Hey you little Rascal!” She laughs and picks her up, petting her fur down and making her purr.  
Evan looks at me.  
Oh my god it’s perfect!!!!  
“Rascal,” I say and she meows really loud.  
Connor’s face splits into a giant grin and once ‘Rascal’s safely on the floor, Connor is hugging Alana tightly and calling her a genius.

It only takes a few days for her to settle in, but when she does she’s constantly trailing behind one of us, meowing loudly and clawing at our feet.  
“Rascal stop it.” Connor groans and picks her up from where she had curled around his pant leg. She goes limp in his hands and nuzzles their foreheads together. Connor blushes and cradles her like a baby. She mews and bats at his face with her front paws.  
Evan snaps a picture and Connor squawks.  
“Evan Hansen I swear!” He says between awkward laughs and puts the cat down carefully before racing over and tackling Evan to the floor.

Rascal bounces over as best she can and hops onto Connor’s back, kneading her paws and pouncing a few times when he tries to get up. I watch them kiss and Rascal taps at their faces, trying to get between them.  
I love my little family.


	20. Merry Christmas Eve

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> I can’t believe smutty ramblings evolved into an actual plot

If anyone was Rascal’s favorite, it had to be Connor. She constantly trails behind him like a baby duckling and Connor tends to chase her around the house.  
I watch Rascal creep up behind him, tap his foot with her paw and bounce off to hide beneath the dining table.  
Jared and I repress our giggles when Connor stands straight up in shock an turns to find no one there.  
“Where are you?” He asks and a mew comes from one of the chairs.  
Connor pulls the chair out and Rascal jumps at his face, swatting at his hair and his nose.  
“Hey!” He squawks and then she’s bouncing somewhere else.  
Connor chases her until she hops into Jared’s lap.

She buries herself under Jared’s arm and Connor glares at her.  
“You win this time cat.” He hisses and she mews back. Connor leans onto Jared’s side and I hold back another laugh as Rascals paw stretches out and hits Connor’s elbow.  
“Bastard.” Connor mumbles and I take Connor’s hand. Connor squeezes my hand and I give the back a short kiss.  
“Hey guys,” Jared says quietly after he checks his watch. “Think we should exchange gifts now?”

After an hour of compromises, we ended up just celebrating both Chanukah and Christmas. It’s the 24, Christmas Eve, and Connor had insisted that we stay in our pajamas all day (supposedly it’s a tradition) and we had to open presents around noon. He doesn’t like opening them on the actual day, which is a bit ridiculous, but Jared and I didn’t really push it.  
Connor grabs a small red package with the words ‘Christmas is gay’ scrawled across it, and passes it to Jared.  
Jared blushes and puts it in his lap.  
“I told you I didn’t need anything.” He scolds and Connor smiles and kisses his cheek.

“Shhhhhh,” He says and then a gift is being thrown at me. It’s a brown bag with a bit too much tissue paper in it. The tag says it’s from Connor with little blue and green hearts around his name.  
“Jared should open all his stuff first.” I suggest and Jared’s entire face goes red.  
I get the other two gifts for him, one from me and one from both Connor and I.  
“C’mon you guys know I hate having the spot light on me.” Jared whines and I wrap my arms around him to give my boyfriend a kiss on the cheek.  
Jared carefully peels back the tape and Connor groans.  
“Baaaaaabbbbbeee, I won’t be offended if you rip it open.” He complains and Jared gives him a dirty look, still carefully undoing the wrapping.

He pulls it back to reveal a sweater.  
“Oh my god, you’re the aunt everyone hates.” He chuckles sarcastically, and then he unfolds it.  
It’s a blue Star Wars sweater with a menorah on the front.  
“R2D2 is Jewish.” Jared laughs and Connor sticks his tongue out at him.  
“I knew you’d like it!”  
Jared flushes and hides his face in Connor’s shoulder.  
“You can’t hide yet,” I say and drop the next gift in his lap, (it’s the one from me).  
Jared again, very carefully takes off the tape and Connor actually looks like he’s gonna strangle him.  
“New rule, you can’t take more than a minute opening a gift.” Connor says bitterly and Jared smirks going even slower.  
“Who’s gonna stop me?” He says teasingly and Connor grumbles something beneath his breath and tucks his face into Jared’s neck.

After about a minute, Jared pulls out, another wrapped gift. I stifle my laughter and Jared looks up at me with narrowed eyes.  
“You did not.” He hisses and I shrug.  
He rips off the next layer to reveal some purple paper that reads, ‘One more to go’

The note was a lie. Soon Jared is surrounded with paper and he’s got a box in his hands.  
“This better be the last layer or I’m calling Heidi and breaking up with you.” Jared threatens as he tugs open the box.  
It’s a little game chip for a 3ds and Jared huffs.  
“I would punch the crap out of you if I didn’t love you and this game.” Jared says while hugging me tightly and I pet his hair.  
“What game did you get?” Connor asks and Jared shows him the chip.  
“I thought you already had Smash Bros?” Connor asks and I feel panic flooding my veins.  
“Not on my ds.” Jared explains and moves to pick up the last present from us.  
Another wave of panic and I take his hand.  
“We should save the joint presents to the end don’t you think?” I ask, trying not to convey my nervousness and Jared nods.  
“Okay.” He says, and gives me a kiss on the forehead.

“Connor should go next.” I say and Jared looks up at me with a dangerous grin.  
“You’re just trying to delay yourself!” Jared says with a gasp and I blush.  
I’ve been caught,  
“Okay Okay, so maybe I’ve been delaying myself a little bit. But I want to watch you guys first,”

Connor pushes the one from him into my face and I swat the tissue paper out of my mouth.  
“C’mon Ev, your turn.” Connor says with a teasing glint in his eyes.  
I tug the tissue paper out of the way and catch a small yellow package at the bottom.  
I pull it out and five little packets fall.  
Connor helps me pick them up,

SUNFLOWER SEEDS

Is written across the top in bright letters.  
“What?” I didn’t think they were listening when I said sunflowers were my favorites.  
“You said the garden was a bit too empty.” Connor says with a smile and I tug him into a tight hug.  
He gasps and I pepper his cheeks with kisses.  
“Oh my god Ev,” Connor laughs and runs a hand through my hair.  
“Nice try Connor my present is better.” Jared taunts and Connor rolls his eyes.  
Jared pushes a soft wrapped bundle into my arms and kisses my cheek.  
It’s a bit too heavy to be clothes...

It’s a blanket.  
I lift it and it feels heavy still and ohmygoditsaweightedblanket.  
“Evan babe!” Jared says in shock and wipes the tears off my face. “I didn’t know it was that bad, I’m sorry!”  
I pull the blanket around my shoulders and lean into his side.  
“I love it.” I sob and Connor huffs.  
“Aw cmon Connor don’t be a sore loser,” Jared chuckles and Connor takes some of the blanket and huddles underneath it with me.  
I leave their joint present for me alone and turn to Connor after I calm down enough.  
“Which do you want to open first, Jared’s or mine?” I ask and Connor shrugs.

I pick mine up from the floor and set it down next to my taller boyfriend, and then grab Jared’s.  
The joint gift, (a scrapbook we made for him) is left by the others, one for me and the other for Jared.  
Connor grabs mine and unwraps it first, speechless when he notices the picture frame.  
He tugs the rest of the paper off and stares at our prom photo beside our last years’ anniversary.  
“Do you like it?” I ask and Connor sniffles, wiping at his eyes in a fruitless attempt to stop crying.  
I tug him closer and he leans into my side, running his fingers up and down the frame. He nods and I let him relax for a minute.  
Jared leans in and kisses my ear.  
“Why do you always have to one up me Hansen?” Jared whispers and I giggle.  
Connor opens the present from Jared and his smile splits his face in two.  
“You got me a sketchbook?” He asks with a dark blush and Jared nods.  
“I can’t wait to draw so many gay pictures of you!” Connor says with a laugh and kisses Jared’s forehead.

“I’m going open the gift from you guys first.” I say and Jared beams in excitement.  
Connor hands it to me and it’s just an envelope with snowflakes on it.  
I rip it open and tug the piece of paper out.  
My heart starts to race.  
“Is this what I think it is?” I ask with a quiet squeak and Jared nods. Connor gives me a kiss.  
‘Top Surgery’ is written out as carefully as possible in black pen, and beneath it is ‘4,500.00’  
My hands are shaking,

Connor hugs me and Jared gently rests his hand on my thigh.  
“Only if you want it sweetheart.” Connor says and I nod quickly, still trying to catch my breath.  
“Ahhhh I’ve cried too much today!” I whine and Jared laughs and kisses my neck.  
“How did you save this much?” I ask and Connor blushes,  
“You know the second job I got?”  
Jared snorts and Connor rubs the back of his neck.  
“Yeah?” I say and Connor bites his lip.  
“I might be a stripper, and I might be making more money than I know what to do with.” Connor mumbles and I frown.

“How long have you been doing this again?”  
“A couple weeks?” He says sheepishly and Jared decides now is best to chime in,  
“We’ve been planning this for a while though.”  
“And I make around 700 a night?” Connor says and I blush darkly. “500 is a rare night for me though... the club is fairly popular.”  
Jared snorts again and wraps his arms around my shoulders.  
“I’m opening mine next.” He announces and Connor and I meet eyes.  
“I wanna open mine though,” Connor murmurs and Jared holds out his hands.  
“Rock paper scissors?” I stare at Connor, my throat closing up.

You better win or this is gonna be awkward as hell.

He looks at me as if to say, ‘I know I know!’  
“Rock, paper, scissors, Shoot!” Connor and Jared both say and thankfully, Jared throws paper and Connor does scissors.  
Jared accepts defeat with a roll of his eyes and Connor grabs the heavy wrapped book.  
He pretends to taunt Jared and Jared just snickers when Connor is genuinely shocked upon seeing the book.  
Connor opens it all the way and immediately starts to flip through, near tears at all the pictures.  
“Oh my god how did you know my weakness?” Connor says with a large smile and Jared shrugs.  
“You have so many pictures of us in your phone. Ev and I thought you’d like it.”

Finally it gets to Jared and Connor and I both sit on the floor in front of him.  
“Uhhh? Is my present a double bj?” Jared asks with a light blush and Connor snickers,  
“No but if you want one I wouldn’t be opposed to delivering.”  
Jared picks up the little box and fiddles with the tape.  
I bite my lip and try to breath.  
What if he doesn’t like us anymore?  
Jared pulls the wrapping off and furrows his brows at the little box.  
Connor carefully plucks it out of Jared’s hands, and we both get up on one knee. (Though Connor has to gently flick me so that I sit up at the some time as him)  
“W-what?” Jared says clearly panicked, and Connor clears his throat.

We practiced this... it’ll be okay.

“Jared... I know it’s been a bit of a shitty year for us, but I’m, We...” Connor flips the box open to Jared and he gasps, tears filling his eyes.  
“No no this isn’t happening, I’m dreaming.” Jared says to himself and Connor smiles weakly.  
“We love you a lot, and you don’t have to say yes... but we want you to be with us permanently.”  
I take his hand gingerly and squeeze.  
“As our husband?” I add quietly and Jared starts to sob. I try to smile encouragingly.  
“Will you marry us?” Connor asks hopefully.  
Jared nods enthusiastically and Connor gets up off the floor to pull him into a hug.  
Jared connects their lips and Connor cups his cheek, looking relieved.  
“Come here Ev.” He says after a minute or two and I get up on the couch.  
Jared grabs my shirt collar and kisses me just as hard.  
“Fuck. Don’t do this to me without warning,” Jared says with a short laugh and Connor’s face is so red I can’t see the faint freckles on his nose.  
Connor hugs him from behind and I cup his cheeks to just... hold his face.

“So... How is this going to work?” Jared asks and Connor smirks.  
“I thought we could get married in Vegas and have three separate weddings back to back to deceive the priests.” Connor offers and Jared hums.  
“I don’t really think that’ll work?” He says and I kiss his cheek.  
“I um... you guys could get married and I could just uh, be there as your ‘best man’?” I say and Jared frowns.  
“I don’t like the sound of that. I think we should try Connor’s idea.”  
Jared leans into my shoulder and looks down at the two rings in the box.  
“I can’t believe you want me still,” Jared says breathlessly and Connor leans in to kiss up his neck.

“I can’t believe you think we wouldn’t.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Yo if anyone wants to know,  
> Jared’s rings are white and gold  
> Evan’s are silver and gold  
> And Connor’s are white and silver
> 
> They’re not engraved but Connor is so gonna do that y’all know how extra he can be


	21. Bye!

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> This is the last chapter that I’m going to write, this fic was fun and I’m glad I had something to do while I was failing my classes lol. I’m writing the actual full fic if anyone is interested, and I have my tumblr open for suggestions/ideas. It’s p open right now but I do have an outline for it. Also, opinions on The Girls Need a Break? >:3c

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Since it’s the last chapter, I thought we’d end this fic with more smut (because it did start like this) and I haven’t written any in a while. So enjoy, and let me know if you liked it in the comments!  
> (Btw I thought it should be more fluffy cause not all sex is kinky yo)

I lean onto Evan’s chest and snuggle into my... oh my god my fiancé. Evan is my fiancé!!!!  
I purr contently and Evan runs his hand through my hair, not looking up from his phone.  
“Hey Evan,” I pout and tug at the blonde’s shirt. Evan looks down at me and pauses.  
“Yeah babe?” He asks and I scoot up to bury my face into Evan’s neck.  
“I have an idea.” I say and Evan puts his phone down with a short hum. “What if we just have like... a ceremony thing. It’s not legal to actually get married and I’m not letting us pair off.” I suggest and Evan perks up a little bit.  
“Um... That actually sounds like a good idea.” Evan says with a soft smile and I nod. “I’m full of ‘em Ev.”

Evan picks his phone back up and texts Connor about it and Connor responds with, ‘I still think we can get away with a triple marriage’  
‘No Connor.’ Evan types back and the tall brunette responds with a key smash and a heart emoji.  
“Why is our boyfriend such a loser?” I ask and then flush hotly. “Our fiancé, Jared.” Evan corrects and I nuzzle my face into his chest in embarrassment.  
“I love you.” I murmur and Evan starts to play with the hair on the back of my neck.  
“I love you more,” Evan says and I scoot up a little more, than wrapping my leg around his hip.  
“I love you the most of the most of the most,” I say and Evan ruffles my hair.  
“No you don’t shut up.” And then he pinches my cheek with a giggle.

“No I do!” I say softly and Evan presses some kisses onto my forehead and cheeks.  
“Who proposed to who Mr. Mell?” Evan asks and I flush at the use of my last name.  
“You and Connor did.”  
“That’s right. Proving that we love you the most.” Evan says proudly and I wrap my arms tighter around him.

Evan and I relax for an hour or two, waiting for Connor to get home. He quit his job at the library recently, and we can tell that he’s frustrated with what would make him happy. He likes to draw, but needles make him jittery, so tattoo artist was out. He likes reading but he doesn’t like directing people or doing any actual work (plus it doesn’t pay as well as we thought). And being a stripper is fun but it’s quote “Too extra and graphic for me.” He said he’ll continue doing it, but he’s worried that it’s not long term.  
So Connor has been searching. Barista, Nope. Waiter, not enough energy or enough shits.

So I’m making most of the money. Part time became 3/4 time and I cut my classes back a little to accommodate.  
I would ask Evan but he really loves what he does and he wakes up with a smile every morning. I’m not going to take his dream job away from him. So it’s kind of up to Connor to make up for it.

“Hey. You’re thinkin’ too hard.” Evan murmurs and pinches my shoulder blade.  
“What’s wrong?” He asks and I shake my head, leaning into his shoulder more. Between work and school, I have no time to sleep.  
“Nothin.” I mutter and Evan scratches behind my ear.  
“You should get some rest, you have class tomorrow.” Evan murmurs and I shut my eyes gratefully, letting him tug the weighted blanket up over us. He loves this thing so much,,, I can’t believe I actually got him something he likes.  
“A-Are you cold?” Evan asks and I shake my head, curling up in his lap.  
“Okay, take a nap babe.” Evan hums and his arm is around my waist and he’s so warm!!!!  
I cuddle closer and Evan starts to play with my hair again.  
I’m just about to doze off when I hear keys jingling in the door and Connor comes in, unwrapping his scarf and practically bouncing over to us.  
“Who’s up for a fuck?” He asks bluntly and I shake my head. Evan snorts and Connor sighs exasperatedly.  
“Neither of you? Damn I thought with two boyfriends I’d have a better chance.” Connor flops down onto the couch and Evan curls his fingers around Connor’s shoulders.  
“Sorry babe.”  
“Uggggghhhh this isn’t fair, I have a boner!” Connor pouts and Evan snickers, moving his fingers down to rub my back.  
“Just go jack off or something,” Evan murmurs and Connor huffs. He walks upstairs and Evan gets up to follow him with a short laugh.  
“What, wha’s happenin’?” I ask and Evan pulls the blanket up,  
“Just sleep Jare Bear you need it.” Evan presses a soft kiss to my forehead and I let myself relax, pulling the blanket over my chin.

———————————————————  
Evan’s POV  
———————————————————

Jared falls asleep and I make my way up the stairs, not bothering to be quiet. Connor knows I’m coming.  
I knock on the door,  
“Come in,” Connor murmurs breathlessly and I open it, stepping into our bedroom.  
Connor’s flushed and gently pumping his dick, legs spread wide. He’s fully clothed beside his pants, that are pulled down just enough.  
“You look good,” I say quietly and Connor smirks weakly.  
“T-take a picture, it’ll last longer,” Connor huffs and I take out my phone.  
“Okay.”  
Connor tries to hide his face but I already took it, he reacted too slowly.  
“I wasn’t being serious.” Connor complains and I crawl up on the bed, settling between his thighs.  
“What did you want to do Connor?” I ask and Connor flushes, reaching back down to rub his slit.  
“W-wanted to, mmh, fuck you,” Connor moans and I pull his legs further apart, sliding down to press kisses against his stomach.  
“Yeah?” I ask and Connor nods, jerking his dick a little harder. I push his shirt up and pull his jacket out of the way, leaving his chest bare. What I wouldn’t give to be this flat...  
I lean down and kiss his stomach again, slowly trailing up until my lips brush his nipple.  
“Evan,” Connor gasps and I kiss and suck until his chest is red and purple. 

“Evan, Evan please I need you,” Connor moans and slides his hand up, forcing a bead of precum out of his head.  
I blush and kiss at his neck, sucking a mark onto his pulse.  
“Fuck, I love you,” Connor hisses and pulls at my hair.  
“Love you too Con,” I mutter and gently move Connor’s hand out of the way.  
He moans loudly at the contact and thrusts up into my hand.  
“You’re really wet.” I comment and Connor slides his hand out of my hair and into my pants.  
“So are you.” Connor breathes and my face goes red as he slides a finger over my dick.  
I bite down on his neck as Connor rubs my dick, and then he’s tugging off his pants.  
“Ev, I want you,” Connor murmurs into my ear and I sit up, tugging my pants/underwear down to my knees.

Connor pulls at the hem of my shirt and I take it off hesitantly. Connor helps unzip my binder and then he kisses right below my chest.  
“You’re amazing Ev,” He says and I let his hands roam over my stomach and thighs.  
“You can uh. T-touch me, if you want.” I suggest quietly, remembering when Jared did.  
“I am... touching you?” Connor asks and I takes his hands, sliding them up.  
Connor’s eyes widen and he looks up at me with an unreadable expression on his face.  
“Baby... you don’t have to,” He says quietly and I squeeze his hands.  
“I um, I want you to.” I press a kiss to his forehead and Connor gives in, fondling me and still checking if I’m okay.  
He tweaks my nipples gently and I let out a soft whimper.  
“Sensitive?” Connor asks softly and I nod, squeezing my legs together for some friction.  
“You’re my handsome man,” Connor presses a kiss behind my ear and I wrap my arms around him. “So handsome, so perfect.” Connor praises and pulls me closer so I’m sitting in his lap. I drop my forehead onto his shoulder with a soft whine.  
“Is it okay?” Connor asks and I nod, hesitantly grinding my hips down.  
“I’m love, you.” I mutter, my thoughts are a little jumbled and Connor chuckles,  
“I’m love you too Ev.”

He reaches down to circle his thumb over my dick and I shudder, clinging to him like a life line.  
“Do you wanna go all the way today?” Connor asks with a shaky voice and I nod desperately.  
“God Please.” I gasp and Connor chuckles, undressing us both.  
“I may be good but don’t call me God.” He jokes and I squeeze his hand. Connor mouths against my neck and I hear a knock at the door.  
“The couch is uncomfortable,” Jared says sleepily and I freeze in embarrassment.  
“Sorry.” Connor says back and Jared sighs.  
“Can I come in?” He asks and I look up at Connor. Connor nods with a stupid smile that says ‘Why wouldn’t he be allowed?’  
“Yeah, just don’t yell at us.” Connor replies and pulls the sheets up over him and I.  
Jared opens the door and looks us over.  
“Should I go back downstairs?” He asks, red rising to his cheeks despite his calm demeanor.  
“No come here,” Connor says and holds out a hand for him. “You can sleep here if you don’t mind us being naked.” Connor snickers and Jared rolls his eyes, taking his hand.  
“You sleep naked anyway loser.” He scoffs, pulling himself up onto the bed. He sits down but doesn’t lay down and watches us intently.  
“Yeah?” I ask and Jared blushes and mumbles beneath his breath.  
“You don’t have to stop...” He tugs the blankets around himself tighter and brings his knees up.

“Jared are you sure?”  
“Babe we can move to the guest room-“  
Jared presses his hands against our mouths and leans on my shoulder.  
“To be honest, I came up here to watch. I could hear you downstairs...” Jared confesses and I flush, awkwardly squeezing Connor with my thighs.  
“Oh.” Connor murmurs and then leans down to press a kiss to Jared’s cheek. “Then this makes it much more fun don’t you think Evan?” Connor asks and I squeeze a little harder.  
Connor hand slips back down between my legs and he starts to rub mercilessly.  
“C-Connor!” I whine and he pulls my boxers down, sliding his fingers down and pushing against his entrance. I gasp and dig my fingernails into his shoulders.

Jared whimpers and I look down at the motions beneath the blanket.  
“I w-wanna see.” Jared mutters and Connor pulls the sheets off of us.  
“As you wish,” He purrs and Jared makes another noise, a gentle slapping sound coming from between his legs.  
“I want to see you too J.” Connor presses a kiss to Jared’s neck and he shudders, gently pulling the blanket away.  
Connor starts to thrust and my eyes cross, holding onto Connor tight as a wave of pleasure rushes through my body.  
Jared makes another soft whine and I cry out, feeling Connor’s fingers press against my sweet spot.

“Hey Ev... how do you feel about anal?” Connor asked bluntly and I flush.  
“Giving or receiving?” I ask and Connor smirks,  
“Receiving.”  
I try to breathe through the moans and bite my lip a little too hard.  
“I d-don’t know, I’ve never t-tried it...”  
Connor kisses my neck and curls his fingers again, making me gasp.  
“Jared and I were talking and... if you’re okay with it, we wanted to try double penetration?” Connor murmurs sweetly and my mind floods with images of them both fucking me, or oh shit Connor or Jared in the middle,  
“I mean, yeah definitely.” I reply breathlessly and Connor smiles, pressing a kiss to my cheek.

Jared gently taps my shoulder and I turn to him.  
“Y-Yeah baby?” I ask and Jared cups my cheek, leaning in for a kiss. I close the gap gratefully, pulling one hand away from Connor to curl in Jared’s hair.  
God Jared is the best...

Connor presses a third finger inside me and spreads them out a little too fast. It stings slightly and I squeeze Connor’s shoulder.  
“Pft... you’re dripping all over me.” Connor muses and takes his fingers out, lightly petting my dick.  
“Sorry.” I say out of habit and Jared presses closer, sliding his tongue into my mouth to shut me up.  
“Don’t be sorry, I like it.” Connor murmurs in embarrassment and I close my eyes, focusing on Jared’s mouth on mine.  
Jared pulls away and snickers.  
“I can’t believe Evan turned Connor gay.” Jared laughs and Connor flushes.  
“I was gay, and then I was straight, and then I was gay again,” Connor murmurs and runs his hand down to the dip in my back.

“I don’t give a shit as long as I’m dating Evan.” Connor says with a soft smile and I kiss him as well.  
“Love you.” I say quietly and lean my head on his shoulder.  
“Love you too honey.” Connor says and then he’s pulling Jared over to him, planting kisses across his cheeks.  
“Love you loser.” Connor murmurs and Jared scoffs,  
“I’m the loser?”  
“Say I love you back asshole.” Connor snaps and Jared rolls his eyes, scooting closer to the taller boy.  
“I love you even though you look like you went to a hot topic and bought the whole store.”  
“Fuck you,”  
“You seem a little busy with our boyfriend, are you sure you can fuck two people at the same time?”  
Connor removes his other hand and wraps it around Jared’s dick, quickly pumping and making him squeak in surprise.  
“I’ve been known to multitask.” Connor purrs and bites down on Jared’s shoulder.  
Connor stretches his fingers and my eyes flutter.  
“I’m ready,” I sigh and Connor pulls out, rubbing my pre come on his dick.

Connor pats his lap and looks at me expectantly.  
“What?” I ask and Connor tugs me forward a little more.  
“Ride me.” Connor demands and I flush, hovering over his lap.  
I have to... spread myself, but then Connor’s tip is pushing inside me.  
“Connor,” Jared moans and presses his hand to his mouth. Connor hasn’t slowed down at all, and he’s forcing Jared’s pre come all over his hand.  
“Connor, I need to come,” Jared gasps and Connor pulls his hand away, wiping it on the sheets.  
He puts his hands on my hips and ignores Jared’s soft whine. Connor starts to pull me down, and then the head pops inside, making me a little dizzy.  
It hurts, it hurts you’re too big,  
“I know I know sweetheart,” Connor says sweetly and kisses behind my ear.

“Ugh, why didn’t we use real lube this time?” I whine and Connor bites his lip and looks me up and down.  
“...I wanted to see if you could take it.”  
He starts to rock up and _oh fuck it burns_  
After a minute, it starts to sting more and I pull off, whimpering at how tight I got.  
“Fuck.” I whisper and Jared smacks Connor on the arm.  
“Stupid, he doesn’t like being hurt like you do what were you thinking?” Jared scolds and Connor pulls me down into his chest.  
“Sorry, I’m sorry baby I didn’t mean to hurt you, I love you.” Connor murmurs in my ear and Jared throws the bottle of lube and a condom between us.  
Jared takes my hand and shoves Connor’s face away from me,  
“Did he hurt you? Are you okay?” Jared asks with a slight glare directed towards Connor.  
“I-I’m f-fine... I just got too tight,” I wince in embarrassment and Jared kisses my cheek and praises me for stopping.

Connor picks up the lube and looks up at me with a hesitant smile.  
“Can I?”  
I nod and spread my legs. He pops the cap open and pours some onto his fingers. “Fuck I feel like a virgin.” Connor mutters to himself and rubs my hole with two fingers, carefully sliding them inside.  
I moan and jerk back into his fingers, trying to get them deeper. Connor curls them again and quickly adds a third, trying to spread the lube around.

He pulls his fingers out and a mix of lube and pre come follows shortly after. I bury my face in his chest with a short whine and Jared gently pats my back.  
“Vaginas are weird.” I say bitterly and Connor and Jared both crack up in surprised laughter.  
“Dicks are weirder.” Connor replies and I look up at him with a blank face.  
“Vaginas are like coin purses and they’re almost constantly wet no matter what you think about.” I say and Connor snickers again.  
“Sometimes you get hard for no reason and they float in water.” Connor pulls me down again, “This isn’t sexy and I want to be inside you again, is that okay?” Connor asks and I lean up, positioning myself over his head.  
“Yeah.” I murmur and Connor pours way too much lube onto himself and whimpers, rubbing it into his slit. He wipes his hand on the sheets again, (ugh I’ll have to wash these) and rolls the condom on.

He starts to push in, “Good boy,” Connor praises and he slides in rather easily.  
“ah,” I moan and Connor rubs my dick.  
“So tight,” Connor hisses to himself and time seems to drag on slowly.  
I finally settle back against his hips and try to take a breather, but Connor has other ideas.  
He immediately starts to thrust and moans into my ear, holding onto me tightly.

Jared hisses and I hear him continue to jerk off.  
“Oh my god, Connor I’m gonna come, it’s too good.” I whine and Connor scratches my hips on accident.  
“M-me too.” Connor thrusts up and desperately tries to find my sweet spot. “Come whenever you want, you’re so good.”  
Jared bites his lip and watches us intently, slowing his strokes so he can focus on us more. Connor jerks up and bites down on my shoulder, muffling his cries as he comes. I feel the condom heat and I bounce on his dick, angling so that he stabs a few thrusts into my g-spot.  
“I love you,” I whine and Connor bites his lip, thrusting up when I come down.  
“Ah, Love you too sweetheart.” Connor moans and I feel it slowly creeping up on me. Jared leans over and sucks at my neck.  
“Come on Ev, Come for us, you look so amazing.” Jared purrs and my stomach starts to tighten up and I speed up my thrusts, thighs shaking hard.

My eyes roll back, and then it’s washing over me in waves and it’s _so good_ , I keep shaking and Connor is gently murmuring something to me and then he pulls me up and off him, laying me down on the bed.  
“Good boy, so good.” Connor praises and I moan, reaching down to force the last few bits of come out of myself.  
“Who wants to help me get off?” Jared asks and Connor sits up, tying off the condom and dropping it in the trash can beside our bed.  
“Dibs,” He says with a smirk and then he’s got Jared pinned beside me.  
They’re furiously making out, and Connor’s hand is jerking Jared’s dick roughly.  
“You’re so hot J, I can’t wait to watch you fall apart.” Connor purrs against his lips and Jared moans.  
“Please,” Jared whines and Connor’s pressing kisses against Jared, slowly trailing down to his cock.  
“Want me to suck you off baby boy?” Connor asks and kisses Jared’s stomach, making the brunette whimper.  
“Yes, Please Connor.” Jared gasps and Connor’s tongue slides over Jared’s dick, lapping at the pre come coming out.  
Jared starts to pant and takes my hand, squeezing gently whenever Connor does something good.  
I look down at my boyfriend and notice a strange glint in his eyes.  
He squeezes his left thumb and then starts to slide down Jared’s dick, deep throating him until his nose touches Jared’s skin.  
“Fuck!” Jared yelps and grabs Connor’s hair, pulling harshly and making the taller boy choke a little bit. “Where’d you learn to do that? Isn’t your gag reflex fucking awful?” Jared gasps for air and Connor hums.  
Jared jerks his hips up into Connor’s throat and he swallows hard.  
I lean down to nip at Jared’s throat and the shorter boy pulls at Connor’s hair, arching his back.  
“Fuck I’m coming, I’m gonna come, shit Connor you’re so good, your mouth is so hot fuck,” Jared moans and I start to mark up his neck.  
“I love you,” I murmur and Jared makes a weird sob sound.  
“I love you too Evan, fuck Connor I love you and your mouth holy shit-“  
Connor hadn’t thought about what would happen when Jared came, but he wasn’t expecting it to make him choke, pulling away and coughing onto the sheets.  
“Are you okay?” I ask and Connor nods, swallowing the left over spit in his mouth.

Connor lays down next to Jared and pulls him in for some cuddling.  
“You both came so much, I’m sorry we haven’t uh... done stuff recently.” Connor apologizes and Jared kisses his neck, taking my hand and curling up between us.  
“That was good.” Jared breathes and I nod.  
“I don’t think I’ve had an orgasm in like... three months.” I mutter bashfully and Connor blushes.  
“Shut up and shut your eyes, you’re so sleepy you’re not thinking straight.”  
“Thinking straight? Not Evan’s gay ass.” Jared comments with a chuckle and Connor pulls the sheets up again.  
“Shhhhhhhhhhuuuttttt up.” Connor pops the p and I roll my eyes, wrapping my arms around Jared’s waist.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> My tumblr for fics/writing is a-hugenerd! I also have holybroconut but that isn’t sin


	22. Buddy, You and I

_Hey! If you don’t already know, I won’t be continuing this fic. I’ve moved on to actually writing the plot version called Buddy, You and I. It’s the same au, with some slight tweaking, but it’s set from Evan’s sophomore year of high school. If you like this check it out because it’ll basically be the same once Evan and Connor go to college. Hope you enjoyed reading this as much as I did writing it_  
~ Ev  <3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> My tumblr is a-huge-nerd and there’s an outline for Buddy, You and I if anyone wants to see what’s in store! (Also I will be changing some things, not a lot but like, overall my understanding of their characters has changed since I started this. Also, Eye color because BOi Evan has grey eyes son of a b
> 
> \- So yeah,,,


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